Self defense in the UK

If i get cornered buy guy with a knife in the UK whats the deadliest legal item i can carry and use to defend myself?

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None. You must die and become another statistic for knife crime.

You must also be careful not to offend your attacker

Quads don't lie, if you curse them, fucking Muslim etc, hate crime.

quads confirm.

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A flashlight. Seriously.

A bottle of KY jelly.

>allowing a child to attend an event dedicated to deviant sexual activity.
The West is lost. Your turn, Moslems

You can legally carry a foldable, non-locking blade that's under 3 inches like pic related, clip it to your belt so when you reach for your wallet you can grab it and stab his black ass.

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You should just move to a non moose-limb country honestly.

Are screw drivers illegal to carry? Would a bobby confiscate it and arrest me?

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Lots of leftist parents take their kids to those things

Throw acid in his face?

And have the blade fold and cut your fingers?

If you angle it so the sharp part is facing the nigger when you go to stab or slash it won't fold.

Getting the technique right is key and unfortunately you cant get a locking blade or the bobby is gunna getcha.

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By the numbers Britain sucks

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That looks like a shit Ching Chong $3 blade I would buy at the fair as a child.

Don't be a buffoon, bin that spoon!

its the best rated one on Amazon uk, probably gunna get it when the dole comes in this weekend

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Getting stabbed/slashed is not very lethal. Just push past him, run to the airport, then move to somewhere where youre not legally cucked.

>buy
Retard

i refuse to run away user, i will stay and carry a potentially lethal weapon to defend myself and vote UKIP every election, you cannot change my mind.

Cased sectional pool cue, coz you were going to have a game down the pub/were on your way home from playing pool with mates.
Bonus points if you're carrying a clearly used chalk and the cue's tip shows wear.

the UK is a nation of cucks if i've ever seen one. Seriously, never seen a country so willing to give up any freedom that they have. At least in the 3rd world countries and sandboxes have no freedom or its been taken by force. The UK loves to give up their freedoms, i'm surprised you haven't given up large vans, trucks and buses.
Wake up fuckers.

Serious question: Can a Bongoloid walk around in steel toe boots without fear of getting thrown into goal by the rozzers?

>amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B077XNGXC9/ref=pd_aw_sim_200_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=88B1R5Z8X9AWDV25SVGG&dpPl=1&dpID=61S6J4PLFpL
This might be illegal though where you're from.

Northern Ireland is the only country that comes to mind.

I think you need a good reason to carry one. Self defence won't do.

>If i get cornered buy guy with a knife in the UK whats the deadliest legal item i can carry and use to defend myself?
A plane ticket/passport/green card to an uncucked country

Do you believe the UK can be saved?

Well plenty of people here in the US are begging for their freedoms to be taken away also

NI allows ownership of pistols and CC, but having family in NI with guns I asked them what it entails. CC isn't like say the Czech's have, it's very heavily restricted and more geared towards Politicians and ex-cops, and pistol ownership in general is restrictive

There is no way to save it without either destroying the monarchy and adopting a constitutional republic, or dissolving parliament and giving the Monarchy emergency powers, and that's not happening until QUE hits the bucket and there is a king who gives a fuck

At least you can own pistols there unlike actual Bongistan.

In the Republic of Ireland pistols are technically legal but licenses are not approved at all so handguns are shadow banned.
In NI they are legal as well, heavily restricted and a shadow ban is in place for certain elements of the society

Don't be a crackhead, bin that flathead!

Your limey butthole. It'll give your attacker a good dose of stds granted that your a proper British lad whose worked as a sailor or a docker.

A thinkpad laptop. Heavier the better.

>Republican crisis when?

>If i get cornered buy guy with a knife in the UK whats the deadliest legal item i can carry and use to defend myself?

I have my ID card with me that says I am allowed to enter non-british neighbourhoods. Sometimes I get a kick or two, but usually I get escorted to the imam who either approves or denies my access. If he denies access, I give my mailbag to one of the talabs for delivery. Some neighbourhoods I just go straight to the talab al'imam, because it's just easier. Lovely people when you get to know them.

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>that name
ur a fgt

Quads don't lie.

solid steel pen

not even kidding

Holy quads confirm, sucks to be you OP

>I have my ID card with me that says I am allowed to enter non-british neighbourhoods

I applied for one of these for access to areas around Deptford green but it was declined, I did get one issued in Luton. Its pretty easy if you just do the paperwork and get the Arabic translation done right

I'll see you in hell, you republican scumbag.

I'm sorry, what?
Are these "non-british neighborhoods" in Britain?
Please don't tell me you have to get proper certification to go to certain parts of your own country.

>Are these "non-british neighborhoods" in Britain?Please don't tell me you have to get proper certification to go to certain parts of your own country

I'm not British but was there for six months for work. Basically you apply to the 'council' which runs an area and if its a minority area you need an ID card to enter the area or you can be detained by a muslim patrol. They issue them pretty quickly if you have to access an area for work but I think I was declined for depford just because I was not working there. Luton is a mainly muslim area so I had to do an application in Arabic which is approved by the authority appointed by the community in the case of Luton or most of Birmingham that is an Imam . Its a pretty good system although the form and translation is a pain as you need an approved translator.

This. They sell super-bright flashlights that can temporarily blind people. Buy one that is metal and can be used as a blunt weapon.

Yes, they are illegal.

>need an approved translator.

That's the worst part, they charge you £200 an hour to tell you which boxes to tick, but google translate does a better job.

t. recently had to get a commuter licence because my mum lives in Luton.

I refuse to believe this is real
how is it possible for any country to get to this state
you must be lying

get an umbrella some black duct tape and some rocks.
insert rocks (normal street rocks) into folded umbrella. Tape tight near the hand. You know have a weighted cane. If you need to use it- untape it and dump the rocks before the tea drinkers show up.

>not taking the almighty bicycle wheel

stockpile yer gunz user.

fuck forgot pic

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>mfw the butterknife meme is real

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Flashlight is good. With a sturdy metal pen and a coin sap, you've got some self defense items that are legal anywhere.

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Throw pork at em.

From a brit.

youtube.com/watch?v=rivFCwwvoh8
>If one of you try and violate me
>You get a punch in the face with my front door key
>Punch in the neck with my back door key
>Box in the mouth with my X6 key
>Box in the eye with the fob

>Amazon ratings
>any indication of literally anything about the product, and not just manufactured by bots

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> I refuse to believe this is real
> how is it possible for any country to get to this state

Can somebody post the "Occupier’s Duty of Care to Trespassers" for this guy?

>duty of care to trespassers

>be British chap living with mum
>rumble in the night, glass breaking
>go downstairs, offering cookies and a helping hand with your tv into their vehicle

The sun has set on the British Empire

ill consider it

You're asking a board full of Americans to describe UK law, which is pretty much a non-starter.

As for the reality;
In your home, you are capable of using your shall-issue licensed shotgun to defend yourself, though using it to purely defend property is more of a grey area. Out and about, you are fully legally capable of carrying a 3" knife on your person.

I'll let the rest of this thread get back to willful shitposting

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Why not get a pointy stick and a pencil sharpener? Or just carry a pencil or pen around.
>wots that m8? You got a loicense for it?
>it’s me pen guv, I need it to write me loicenses

There’s truth in them there numbers.

The knowledge of the law of fellow Brits in this thread is laughable. Get learning: legislation.gov.uk Bet you lot give coppers your name the minute they ask and consent to voluntary searches.
The days of the police being the community policing the community are, alas, gone. Now they're just like the army they replaced: power-mad bullies, eager to step on the rights of Her Majesty's law-abiding and loyal subjects. Peel would be rolling in his grave.
Commend the good ones and harry the arsehole ones: you'll get at least £500 for the trouble.

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Czech republic but I dont know how their english is

a well built pen is the best uk legal defence a cross pistol is a good idea to keep in ur house

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A large metal dildo would probably be your best bet.

Please tell me this is bait

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>STATE ENFORCED HOMOSEXUALITY

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Son of czech immigrants to the US here.

Fluency varies and is obviously much higher in areas like Prague, but the czech accent -really- doesn't lend itself well to english.

is that a fucking radio antenna?

Bacon slingshot and a Bible.

Sorry bub numbers don't lie

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Using a knife will instantly put you into the bad guy role. Why were you carrying a knife? Did you plan on using a knife? Did you put yourself in this situation so you could stab someone?

Sad but these are the truths, even In freedom land it's easier to get away with self defence if you shoot the guy instead of stabbing him.

The UK needs a hard injection of freedom.

Northern Ireland, Estonia and Czech Republic

apparently carrying (some, replicas of pre 1889 models iirc) black powder guns is okay at least in Poland

Ask if he has a murder license

>buy big fucking flashlight
>get stopped and searched by police for speeding/some other crime/looking shifty

Chances are, unless you look like you need, or are going to use the flashlight for a specific reason, this will be considered enough to peak the police's interest.
Thats assuming you are hiding the fucking thing, carry it in broad daylight and you are getting stopped.

if the police know what a coin sap is, you are fucked. because there really isnt an excuse for something built for purpose like that.

In the end, if you are carrying something which could be for the *intent* for crime later, you can be taken in. To carry around items, you either need some way to back up an excuse or to look like you need it.

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Real question here, Jow Forums. Why the fuck don't they move to America?

It's painfully obvious that their countrymen are traitors, their government is systematically disarming them, and the cost of living is painfully high, they're basically glorified serfs at this point. British nationalism is pretty much dead. Why not just apply for US citizenship and leave the nightmare nanny state behind?

Spyderco makes folders that are uk legal, those kinda lock, but not really. You can open a spydie very fast, with a little practice it would be a great self-defense knife.
I use a the zip tie mod on my delica, and I can employ it faster than I could do with any auto.

Because it doesn't solve the problems, and emigrating to the USA is quite hard for white men.

We dont want them here

London cops tased an electrician not to long ago because he walked into a restaurant with a screwdriver in hand.

If this is real, the only solution is to get rid of the minority areas.

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Yes. You'll get no hassle if it's an internal cap design.
At least one of the budget footwear chains does steel toed trainers/baseball boot style for construction workers as well.

I live in NI which is not as gay as the England but essentially all over carrying a knife or threatening to use one as a weapon essentially eradicates your rights in a court of law. Do whatever the fuck you want to them. The court will side with you.

I wouldn't use a knife in a fight because they're too messy but I really do wish collapsible batons were legal here. I'd fear no one if i had one of those.

A cop. Better start taking boxing classes

We shoul've let the nazis overrun you people. I think you would've been better off.

This entire thread is bait and is believed by gullible idiots who have no idea. Every thread about Britain on Jow Forums turns into a troll fest. Fuck this place.