>be me
>be in national guard
>be not raking soil
>be not sweeping cement
>instead be cleaning the side of a highway outside of small college town for trash people threw out their vehicles
>fun
>not really tho
>its actually really boring
>like holy fucking shit really boring
>on the brightside I have 3 battle buddies next to me to share my suffering
>become impressed by the amount of empty beer bottles we find
>sureisirishupinhere.jpg
>OUTOFFUCKINGNOWHERE
>we find a bird corpse
>OH COOL SOME DEAD SHIT GUYS COME LOOK AT IT!
>we look at it
>its dead
>cool
>go back to work
>keep talking about the dead bird
>feel a little better
>OHSHITWTF
>we find a dear corpse
>YOOOOOOOO GUYS LOOK MORE DEAD SHIT!
>OMFG NO WAY DEAD SHIT!
>neat
>go back to work
>eventually we find more dead shit as we clean
>more birds, dears, and other shit
>as we do our moral significantly improves
>begin to pondor my sanity and mental health as I realize my happiness depends upon other shit being dead
>mfw
Jow Forums humor thread
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>be innamilitary
>like dead shit
How shocking, grunt.
>be playing first person shooter
>at the top of the leader board
>speaking tactical jargon to my team mates to humor them and myself
>team mate asks "Wow you're really good at this game, is it because of you're military training?
>respond "uhh... yeah sure"
>guys says "wow... I can't wait to enlist in the Army!"
>in reality the only reason I'm good is because I've had so much downtime during drill that I spent it playing this game
>mfw
>saying a lake stole your guns
b u m p
Look at this steely-eyed little psychopath. He's the kind of person who would gleefully throw the lever on the gallows when his thought-enemies were being hung.
What’s that mean about the bitch in purple he always tried to bang? It cant be..
The fact that you have decided that without meeting him in person, makes me think YOU may be this way.
>You need to meet a faggot irl who blatantly acts like a faggot in the media on a daily basis to know he's a faggot
You must be quite young to have never seen wha the self-righteous indignation of one who knows no doubt looks like. That kid not only believes that he is right, but that everyone else is wrong, and should suffer for it.
See: the way he handled literally every conservative voice.
Daphne?
Nah, she's a bimbo, not a trap
Velma might be though
I am 35. I am anti gun-control. But I don't criticize my enemies for wanting to destroy THEIR enemies. I would do the same.
So, you're a lunatic. Somebody who want to murder their ideological enemies simply for having opposing viewpoints is a fucking lunatic.
If that person wants to kill you, that's another story, but that ain't what we're talking about here.
>2 nights ago
>sauced as an irish in a pub
>walking outside with friend
>see a furry pile
>just about to step on it
>been seeing discarded dog toys for fucking months, and pieces of blankets and shit
>just want to see corpses, not fucking dog toys
>except this time, it really is a corpse
>dead rabbit, soggy as a lake
>scream like a little girl because I almost stepped square on its soggy corpse with my boot and narrowly avoid it
>friend screeches like a little girl, narrowly missing stepping on its decapitated soggy wet head a few steps down the path
>giggle like retards as we head to the park
Such is life in suburbia
I am what I am. I don't care if it hurts your feelings. Keep fighting the powa with internet arguments and pictures though. Good job.
This.
>he beleives everyone else is wrong and should suffer for it.
This. Im so fuckin sick of people thinking "EEEEE GUNS ARE BAD, AND MY SKEWED GENER PERSPECTIVE CANT HANDLE THE EMOTIONS OF DEAD KIDS, SO WE NEED TO TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS OF EVERYBODY ELSE BECAUSE IM AFRAID"
This is the fucking shit thats sending our country right down the crapper.
If we followed this "we cant kill people that dont share the same beleifs" ideaology, our country wouldnt be what it is today. The brittish would have ass raped us, and we would be sucking the kings knob still.
Fuck you liberals and your "everybodys opinion matters" stance. Shits getting really old.
>ruin a humor thread because you cant shut the fuck up about politics for even a second
But yeah, liberals are the real assholes here, right?
Go be a retard on pol, fucktard, and leave k alone.
Velma got a fat ass
Not him, but you're the one who started shit fucktard.
I never met Robespierre either, but I can tell you he'd chop my fucking head off.
>Last summer
>wife tells me something is smelling under the deck
>thinks something might have died
>go check it out
>find what is left of a young raccoon
>pulling out clumps of fur and whats left of flesh
>skull and jaws slip out
>right mandible has adult tooth coming in beneath baby tooth
>throw away skin and feet and shit
>keep skull and jaws
>soak in peroxide/water mix
>forget to do dawn soap scrub to get rid of grease
>have to do peroxide/water mix a few more times
>finally get smell out
>helmsman polyurethane
>mount on round cut of basswood
>hanging in garage
This is what suburbia is like if you are innawoods af
I wonder if, later in his life, he'll regret embracing authoritarianism as a cheap ticket to fame when he was a teenager?
>dogs let outside to play
>boxers, so super-happy autists chasing each other, digging in the sand, and whatever else
>return to household activities
>later
>dogs scratch at door
>open door
>both dogs extremely happy and covered in blood
>panic.jpg
>wash off dogs, look for injuries
>no wounds whatsoever
>not their blood
>inspect yard
>bits of flesh littering back yard
>check security cameras (had them at old house)
>snake wandered into yard
>dogs both grabbed an end of the danger rope and played tug o war with it until they ripped it in half
>proceeded to tear halves into smaller chunks and spread them throughout the yard
>gather pieces
>can't find the head
>months later
>smell coming from under rug
>lift rug
>head.gif
>skull broken and is rotting, can't identify if poison or not
>dogs are fine, whatever
This kept happening until the snakes learned the back yard was a death ground.
This whole tirade shows a startling lack of reading comprehension, and anything resembling a well thought-out response.
You have no place in civilized society.
Yeah, never met Pol Pot before, doesn't mean I can't say he's a psychopath
Always loved this one.
you know Jeff Dahmer was probably a pretty cool dude. I mean he did fuck little boys and melt them in acid but you can't just judge a person based on their actions, right?
Faggot got memory holed and didn't get accepted into any colleges, now he's at a dead end after chasing CNN fame. Evil is its own punishment, never forget that.
Saying you stole your guns from a lake
Faggot
The lake was stolen from your guns by you.
saying the lake stole your stolen guns
>5.55mm
>weapon of choice among some snipers
>MOBILITY
Hahahaha I'm so glad these people pay taxes
the image of two boxers playing tug of war with possibly a pissed off copper head, fucking lol
I fucking love boxers
cringe
Looks like a t. Panochi cactus. They should have just eaten that instead of rioting
>I don’t care if it hurts your feelings
Well... then fuck you too and fuck that kid, him and his type look like little authoritarian murderers waiting to happen
samefag
Not necessarily humor but I think this one's funny as hell.
Unit 777 is fucking meme come true. Any recent fuckups?
Yeah, he kinda gives off that Hitler Youth vibe, doesn't he?
I am become lake, harbinger of guns.
a good time tbqh, hype for the next one.
the day Paul Harrell died
you motherfucker i get that reference
>be me
>Weeb
>Tfw you are levente bo peep
The replies are still rolling in.
I was in that thread just hours ago when it started up, fucking hilarious shit.
>National GURD
Should've joined the military instead of that weekend club your currently in. RIP your COD dreams
The fact that you have decided that without meeting him in person, makes me think YOU may be this way.
>MARSOC
>kill terrorists so hard they kill their own to accuse you of war crimes
>no
>why
>emotion
Have screencap fresh off the presses
Thats some /b/ stuff right there
I wonder if I'm in the big cap
The icing on the cake is the stanag
gee, hat sure is edgee
Anyone have any good tunneling advice? I live in Florida so I don't think the soil's right for it.
drive(dot goes here)google(dot goes here)com/file/d/1QFp2Cq5oesWk4SsIsKU_OCNNqQsrqZQ8/view
I thought this was pretty fuggin funny.
Aside from the fact that it was posted in Jow Forums, it doesn't have anything to do with Jow Forums. Just fuck off with that shit already
Only thing I question is how a tank does anal... Im slightly more arroused by the prospect than im entirely comfortable witj
Ever tried sticking your dick in an exhaust pipe
brb