Okay, Jow Forums I plan to hunt and kill the NA's biggest natural predator, the grizzly bear. Here's my plan to do it:
At least three of us, well-trained and able-bodied men, are going to don full-plate armor and medieval weaponry (sword, spear, longbow, etc). We will bring a tracker (preferably equipped to help us record the event) to locate the bear, then, once we've located a singular, healthy bear, we'll engage the steps to killing it:
1. Wait until it begins looking for food. 2. Follow it, armor not fully equipped yet to aid in stealth (rattle rattle), until it finds food. 3. While it is distracted by the food source, we don our armor as quietly as possible. 4. Once equipped, it is time to begin the encounter with either a shot from an arrow or, if we can get close enough, a blow to the head to stun it. 5. While stunned, we plan to engage the bear tactically, avoiding it's strikes to the best of our ability and striking back when it turns to focus on one of us. 6. Repeat step 5 until the bear is dead or manages to flee. 7. If the bear manages to flee, we will use our superior stamina to follow it until we manage to surround it again. 8. Once surrounded, repeat step 6.
Tell me what you all think. I will answer any and all questions as best I can.
Or you could just shoot it with a rifle. Yeah, I think I'll go with the rifle.
Thomas Taylor
Rifles are undeniably better, but we all have a fascination with medieval weaponry and want to have a significant experience with it as well as the story and bragging rights that come with killing a bear with a sword/spear/etc.
Parker Scott
how about pikes? it would be a good idea to keep your distance as much as possible. weapons like a mace wont do much against their thick skull also, this would be much easier with bait/poison but thats illigal as hell. you could create a semi-mobile ballista and shoot it with that once its stopped to eat.
Jackson Phillips
youre going to get cracked open like a can of sardines. just buy a gun instead.
Jack Watson
Pikes sound like a good option, better than swords at least; I was planning on using one myself. We want to have some fun with this though, so I think a ballista is a little overkill.
As for the bait/poison thing, I considered that too, but it just seems unsportsmanlike. Plus the legality of that is an issue as well, especially if we do find someone willing and able to record three or four goons dressed in platemail fighting a goddamned grizzly.
Jack Roberts
this, people have hunted bears before guns, they all used spears/pikes, it is the only way to go if you are not using a gun.
Ryan Diaz
it's awesome to have an OP that replies i haven't been on Jow Forums in months because everytime im on here i want to buy another fun. what kind of armor are you and your friends going to dawn? even if it defeats a grizzlys claws if it gets your head it its jaws you're done for. would you consider scent masking? maybe put burlap strips and brush in your armor as camo for when you lay in wait.
>what kind of armor are you and your friends going to dawn? Steel platemail, like pic related but in all honesty it won't look anything like that because it will be custom made.
>even if it defeats a grizzlys claws if it gets your head it its jaws you're done for. Hence the tactical engagement (keeping distance and stiking only when an open strike presents itself) and likely use of pikes/spears/longbows.
>would you consider scent masking? Absolutely a great idea. We honestly will probably use all techniques modern bear hunting calls for, it's just the action that will be old-fashioned.
>maybe put burlap strips and brush in your armor as camo for when you lay in wait. I hadn't considered that, it sounds like a good idea. I'll mark it down.
Well when that happens you'll get to see it when it's inevitably posted on Jow Forums (I'll make sure it gets here somehow, I love this board).
>Well when that happens you'll get to see it when it's inevitably posted on Jow Forums (I'll make sure it gets here somehow, I love this board
that would be something. do you have a timeline set yet? like i said before i dont come here as much anymore.
Caleb Clark
im assuming that will be the guides responsibility
Jack Morgan
I honestly can make no promises there, but don't worry. We're going to take survival courses, continue training in our armor for at least a few years, and rough it in at least half-plate for a month before we actually take on the bear. Also planning on asking bear experts for tips on fighting a bear without a gun and general advice for taking one down.
And as said, the guide will probably insist on bringing a gun.
Unfortunately we currently have no projection for when this will take place but we're hoping to be ready within a decade. Some of us still have some schooling (college) to finish and then there's the prospect of saving up money to pay our blacksmith for proper armor; shit's not cheap.
Chase Peterson
Grizzlies aren't the biggest NA predator you dingus
William White
grizzlies weigh on average around 600 pounds (male) so, are you confident that youir armour could take a 600 lbs smack to the chest? It would be like getting hit by a car. Also, you most certainly do not have superior stamina, friend. They can run 35 mph. Can you run 35 mph? Also, bouncing off that point, if it were to come barreling after you at 20 mph would you have the reflexes and grit to shoot it with your long bow? perhaps. But, unlike the middle ages, yall are not able to have any casualties (laws and all that) people just aren't as expendable as they used to be. Don't think I want you to give up. Far from it, actually. I wish I could join you in valiant battle against the elemental beast, then have a victory drink. But, I have to give you words of caution
Jason Anderson
Look Im all for doing crazy shit, but that bear is going to smoke your ass.
Knights in plate armor were more or less beat by constant blunt damage. You couldn't cut or slice the steel, but you sure as shit could beat it in. Bears dont just have sharp teeth and claws, theyre also fucking strong as fuck.Once you piss it off trying to stun it (another bad idea, bear skulls are dense as shit), itll tackle your ass and cave that breastplate it. The only way youll kill the thing is with pikes or spears. Armor up and engage it as a unit from a distance. Keep it confused while youre stabbing it and if it starts to go for one person in particular, have every else start stabbing harder to get its attention. Even after that youre probably going to lose someone before it goes down
Lincoln Richardson
biggest, as in terms of size, dingus. most massive predator
Oliver Peterson
your mom doesn't count sperg
Henry Perez
You will all die :)
Aaron Perry
what would be more bad ass? a firing squad of archers. What do they send? Fire lance. Basically, massive spears with gunpowder explosive on the end. like getting hit with a grenade on a spear. Also, they date back to the 1300s, so it can fit your mid-evil aesthetic. honestly, five dudes hitting an adult bear with fire lances of decent girth, then perhaps a few crossbow bolts would not only be bad ass, but safer. your misguided idea of "stunning it" can actually happen here. If one of these things doesn't straight up kill it, you bet your ass it's gonna be stunned for a second or two.
>Tell me what you all think youre a teenage european
only a fucking 14 year old north african immigrant with access to the internet for the first time talks like this >we >hunting I can assure you that OP is not white or within the continental USA
Nicholas Russell
fuck that i want to watch him bleed
Gavin Hernandez
It's dumb. You'd not only certainly get hurt, badly I'll add, you'll also potentially be hurting an animal with no reliable way to kill it. What happens when one of you gets his ribs caved in, or leg broken in half, and you've already wounded the animal? You'll stop and seek medical treatment immediately, but the bear will be stuck in the woods, bleeding. He may recover, but odds are he'll probably die a slow, awful death.
Another point? You'll flinch, but he won't. Some people balk at shooting animals, even people who have nothing against hunting, but you think you've got the nerve to go toe to toe with a Grizzly, protected by a thin sheet of metal? I doubt it.
Tl;dr- it's fucking stupid. Keep it as a campfire fantasy.
Ethan Adams
Excellent contribution to the thread. High level of discourse here gentlemen.
Elijah Hughes
Protip: Don't skimp out on armor. A proper set is prolly gonna run you around 5-7k. Stay away from cheapo Indian low-grade reproduction stuff, it'll break in a couple of punches, a bear would just smash right through it.
By the end you should look like pic related on the left, not the right.
See Humans do, in fact, have incredible stamina. What the bear makes up for in speed, we can make up for in endurance. That bear might be able to run faster and hit harder, but we can more intelligently apply tactics and run longer for sure. When we do this we will be at the top of our physical game too.
>Knights in plate armor were more or less beat by constant blunt damage. Well aware of this, the weaknesses of the armor are to be circumvented through use of tactics and long-reach weapons. The current plan is to basically do what you've laid out and to keep as much distance as possible while we all take every opening we see. We will also be making as much racket as possible to intimidate and confuse the bear (through banging on armor, screaming, and as many face hits as possible). >Casualties We'll probably waive each other of any legal responsibility in case we get injured or killed, but that's also what all the training is for.
>Fire Lances I considered using these too, but I honestly don't think we'll be able to properly train with them over using pikes and spears. Will keep them in mind though.
Elijah Nelson
I'm a midwestern white man in my twenties and I've never been to Europe. I've been hunting and fishing in these parts for years. >we I'm not going to fucking kill myself, this is at least a three-man job.
>It's dumb. Noted
>You'd not only certainly get hurt, but odds are the bear'll probably die a slow, awful death [bleeding out inna woods]. This is a perfectly likely scenario, but we hope to circumvent it through training and proper planning.
>You think you've got the nerve to go toe to toe with a Grizzly, protected by a thin sheet of metal? I doubt it. At least three grown men, all with years of physical and mental preparation? I've heard of less taking down a bear. Not to mention from the bear's perspective there's three to five roaring, shining creatures it has likely never seen before with very sharp sticks attacking it suddenly and efficiently. If that's not intimidating then I don't know what is.
We have our own blacksmith and when we do buy the armor we'll be buying real, heavy platemail smithed specifically to withstand bludgeoning as much as possible. Gonna run us an estimate of 9k a person, maybe more.
There's two reasons we're doing this as a group. >Manly men, bonding over slaying a great beast. >Bears are tough as shit, and doing this as a group makes our chances of dying much lower.
Dylan Turner
>platemail The fact that you call it platemail shows you don't know dick about armor.
You should have your biggest strongest guy in the group carry a sword and shield, preferably coated in fresh blood or estrus bear urine to "taunt" the bear into attacking that guy
Then the other 4 guys should do as much damage per second they can while the bear is focusing on the tank, but let him get at least 3 sunder armors up on the boss before you start doing damage
>biggest natural predator that would be the polar bear
John Peterson
>Plate armor, not plate mail, dumbass I play a lot of games with knights; to hell with semantics.
We're trying not to have anyone die, so giving someone a sword and shield sounds kind of like a poor idea, but it's not off the table, depending on our most experienced guy's training.
>polar bears They live too far north to wear (((plate armor))); it'd get too cold to safely sustain a fight with one.
Jonathan Thomas
seriously speaking it shouldnt be too hard if you know how to use spear also maybe start with less dangerous animal, like boar
you literally have 24 hours a day of sunlight to find this fucker in the summer. its 60 degrees out and wearing 100 pounds of steel while walking will keep you plenty warm. bring a sweater.
Asher Ross
You know, you might be right but leaving the States with full-plate, medieval weapons, and enough manpower to kill a bear sounds like too much trouble for only a slightly larger, different-colored trophy.
Plus polar bears are endangered and thus likely protected from hunting, especially when the bear will likely not die quickly.
I know it sounds like I'm being a pussy, but really it's just too much trouble. Plus, the potential for frostbite sounds awful in full-plate.
There are reasons we picked a grizzly.
Chase Rogers
>shouldn't be too hard if you know how to use a spear The boar idea might be a good one too, it'd give us another story and I doubt boars would do much damage against a bunch of borderline-crazy men in full plate.
Leo Barnes
Alaska is a state, and they have both types of bear. you could at least try to live up to your original idea for 4 hours
Colton Long
Polar bears are bigger than grizzlies. Get fucked urbanite.
Jaxon Jenkins
>polar bears Grizzlies are much, much easier to get away with hunting, especially when you're recording the event. None of us are Inuit nor do we have a license to hunt polar bears (which are only granted to native peoples anyways).
On top of that, none of us want to haul a quarter-ton of steel and equipment through or even into Canada, and you know damn good and well that shit's not getting on a plane after we tell them what we're using it for. Even if we successfully lie, and get it on a plane, the cost of doing all that would likely be even more prohibitive than taking all of our expensive gear and driving to Montana or Wisconsin. This isn't the age of worldwide safaris and pith hats anymore, you can't just hunt whatever you want without legal repercussions.
I'm done responding to polar bear posts; if you want to see someone fight one in full-plate, do it yourself.
Jaxon Foster
Why are you still responding at all? You've already got the overwhelming opinion that your idea is fucking retarded, but you refuse to listen. Fuck off. >Hey guys I have an idea >Your idea is retarded > BUT MUH TRAININ MUH PLAEYTMAYL MUH BLACKSMITH You don't want a discussion or an honest opinion, you want people to jerk you off about your stupid ass dorm room fantasy. Fuck off already you retard.
Jose Brooks
>has ten years to plan >settles for second best you can drive a car to Canada. you just know 100% a polar bear will fuck you up. even with a gun it will fuck you and your shitty friends up
Levi Brooks
we all just want a video of him getting cucked by a black and a white bear
Mason Nguyen
Less jerking off, more advice, especially from any Jow Forumsommandos that have hunted bears. And there's been plenty of good advice, like the following posts:
>pikes and spears >scent masking >tactical advice >fire lances >don't skimp on armor And so on.
And even more will hopefully come over the next few hours. Like I said in the OP, I'm still just planning this and going through early stages of training. I've already been given great ideas I hadn't even considered, such as the camo in the armor. Even if this thread dies after this post or gets removed for some reason, it was successful to me.
Nicholas Wilson
Try to have a good fulfilling life before you attempt this. One of you will probably die.
Landon Sanchez
why must people shitpost? its like they're so dissattisfied with their own lives they need to bring true warriors down to feel better >inb4 hurr ex military 400 confirmed kills poeple are just salty because op wants to follow his dreams.
Tyler Roberts
A grizzly was clocked with radar running 41 mph in Alaska by a state ranger. You aren't getting anywhere near one wearing armor.
Leo Reyes
Honestly the armor is not going to do shit for you. It'll limit your mobility more than protect you, even if it can't slash through the armor if it knocks someone down it will crush them to death like an aluminum can. Your best bet would be spears with maybe sword or dagger as a backup but investing in all the plate armor is a waste. Not to mention carrying it around innawoods, then planning to suit up once you've found your prey? Ehh...
Liam Young
they are going to bring a bow, just shoot it with the bow...
William Torres
Someone's been playing Dark Souls
Camden Long
WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU DO OP RECORD THAT SHIT UPLOAD ON YOUTUBE I WANT TO SEE MOTHERFUCKERS IN ARMOR FUCK A BEAR UP RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD
Jordan Hernandez
Sperm whales live in the Atlantic and Pacific, so technically, the grizzly isn't the biggest natural predator in NA. And even on land, if you go to the canadian north, you can encounter polar bears, which are the biggest land predator in the world.
Levi Myers
armor to fight a bear seems like a waste of money. Maybe a good gambeson and gauntlets but I don't think I'd wanna deal with much more than that innawoods. And don't bother with swords, there's no way you're gonna cut deep enough to kill a bear with how dense their fur, fat, muscle and bone are. Stick with spears and whatever knives you were gonna bring anyway.
Didn't read through the thread, but you should check to see if this is even legal.
Also, there is the issue of hunting ethics.
Oliver Gonzalez
Damn this board reaches new levels of retardation daily.
Nathan Hall
Maybe don't slowly kill and animal for bragging rights.
Blake Reed
You're going to get ripped apart. Or the bear will simply decide fuck this and leave. At any event what you're doing is unethical as hell.
Jonathan Jackson
Please tell me the general area of where this will take place. I want to monitor local news to hear the story about armored guys mauled to death by grizzly.
Kevin Clark
>and kill the NA's biggest natural predator, >the grizzly bear. >grizzly bear Polar bear, Kodiak bear, then ABC island Brown bears. Grizzlys are little fat fucks who pop out of the woods when you're pissing and you go "Go away you little fat fuck"
>Please reconsider. It's entirely possible, even likely that you would succeed with 3 people... but it's going to get messy if the bear decides to immediately defend itself. That bear will charge one of you and fuck your ass up. Your shit will immediately go flying out of your hands when it barrels into you like you got hit by a car. You won't be able to get a breath or see where your weapons landed through your visor. You'll land like a ragdoll and then it's going to be on top of you... Chances are you'll tear a muscle or dislocate something at the very least. Then when you get your hands up to sheild your face, it's going to bite down on your gauntlets and someone will lose some fingers. Now the other two will be able to eventually fight it off, but someone is going to get fucked. At this point, you guys probably have it in the bag with only one of you being seriously injured... My only question is which one of you wants to be "that guy?"
Note that if you tire it out first, you guys will stand a much better chance of getting the job done cleanly. And by the way, here's what happens if someone's armor fails: youtube.com/watch?v=GOlVRHsVzE4
I bet OP and his friends survive the attempt, just that the bear escapes and starts attacking the local townsfolk
Easton Mitchell
>Humans do, in fact, have incredible stamina. What the bear makes up for in speed, we can make up for in endurance.
You know that endurance thing only really helps when an animal is tired right? If you don't wear him out and he just decides to charge you you're probably fucked.
It won't inevitably get posted on Jow Forums when you faggots die in the woods.
Austin Lopez
Thats illegal and you and your friends are supreme faggots for trying to compensate for your own insecurity by killing a grizzly with primative weapons. You kill grizzlies for food, fur, and self defense and as quickly and humanely as possible.
Also a 1200lb coastal grizzly could practically remove youre torso from your hips and legs with one swipe. And would probably turn you and your faggot friends into scattered viscera before you could even decide to move. They also start eating you while you're still alive.
Brody Taylor
>DnD nerds are planning on killing a grizzly with 'medieval' weapons >With no prior experience with these weapons >Or any sort of experience of anything at all.
You and your chuckle fuck friends are going to get eaten and I think that's just great.
Tyler Gonzalez
I better not run into you trying to hunt grizzly with spears here in Alaska. There's only a few places where it's practical for tourists to hunt grizzly and if i see your larping crew out there....well, you should consider it a favor what I'm going to do to you. Because I'm dead certain that if you find a grizz it will be holding you down eating the organs out of your torso while you scream (until it gets your lungs), all before you even know what's happening. Idiots like you fuck it up for everyone else. And you have no idea what you're dealing with. Numbers on a screen don't convey how fucking scary huge, strong, and fast they are.
Put it this way, i'd rather fight a real life tyrant from resident evil with beretta m9 than have to deal with an 1100lb grizzly erupting from the dense spruce forest 15 yards away at a dead sprint of 40mph. Survival is pretty fucking slim at that point.
Logan Morales
Wasn't there specific spears used for bear hunting? Like they have a plate guard on it
Jordan Rogers
Boar spears are a thing. Not gonna make much of a difference against a grizz
Christian Baker
>Hence the tactical engagement (keeping distance and stiking only when an open strike presents itself) and likely use of pikes/spears/longbows. youtube.com/watch?v=vVR4wFtRg74
Jordan Richardson
tracking a live adult bear can be extremely difficult and probably not logistically possible given your loadout.
Have you considered kidnapping a baby bear to lure an adult bear to your position for negotiations?
> If you really, really think that 3 larpers and an autistic guide are going to engage a monster in movement restricting, stamina draining, vision reducing, loud as fuck set of armor with spears and knives, go ahead. I will await the news report about you all being killed and eaten by an 850 lb tank of a beast that can rip open trucks like a can of beans. All that being said, your insanity and desire to die in battle are admirable. If nothing else, you and your dumb ass friends will probably go to Valhalla.
Joshua Moore
They might be big, but they are hardly the biggest predator unless you exclusively mean it's size. They mostly eat a mix of grubs, moths, fish, berries, and maybe the occasional deer/fawn.
I know it will limit your mobility and such, but have you ever considered shields? You could strap them to your back when not in use. If you find you are getting your ass beat you can always make a phalanx and use the pikes to stab it through the shields as you retreat or use that time to apply some basic first aid. If you keep it on your back while fighting it may also provide an extra layer of protection from having your spine ripped out.
>you could create a semi-mobile ballista and shoot it with that once its stopped to eat. fund it
Samuel Reed
Shields sound like a decent idea if used on our backs, but I honestly think they'd be more trouble than they're worth.
Don't worry, we're not planning on going to Alaska, as that requires lugging our gear through customs and Canada.
>compensating for insecurity Nah, more like sharing a dangerous, exciting bonding experience. >kill grizzlies for their fur, food, and self defense We are doing this for the fur and food though, as well as the experience. And fucking with a grizzly is going to make me have to kill it in self defense or die trying anyways.
>superior stamina doesn't count unless you tire the bear out Part of the plan hinges on scaring the bear off and then chasing it down again and again. It may not happen, but it's something we're trying to engage through rattling the armor, screaming in unison, and stabbing the fuck out of it.
Nathan Hall
>Which one of you wants to be "that guy?" The goal is to avoid the bear's strikes but realistically, whoever gets hit gets hit. Our biggest guy will probably be the one we want to draw the most hits, if any, I guess.
>unnecessarily cruel Maybe. I'm not going to make an excuse to justify it.
>legality of hunting grizzlies Technically they are protected in Yellowstone, but we don't plan on hunting in Yellowstone necessarily. Not sure where we'll go but we don't plan on leaving the Continental US.
>armor to fight a bear sounds like a waste of money It's actually a hobby we have. We spar and visit events where likeminded enthusiasts meet up (less LARPing and more tournament fighting) and we enjoy the history of the craft.
Evan Wilson
If this goes viral, enjoy the shitstorm and restriktive laws being passed.
Noah Martinez
They would be a lot of trouble, but if you are getting your ass beat they can potentially provide a moment to gather and collect yourself a bit more than being on the offensive. If you aren't keen on shields, you could possibly look into other methods which might distract or be defensive enough to do running repairs to yourself and your gear. If something breaks mid fight or if you get a nasty wound it will be impossible to fix that while actively fighting, and the moment someone checks out the other two are going to cop more of the damage potentially hurting them more. I am not sure how long the fight will take, but you also want to play smart opposed to just brute force.
Austin Cooper
OP has inspired me. I'm putting together a team of 3 dozen guys to hunt an orca pod using only scuba gear and dive knives. Who wants to sign up?
Stock up on potions and buff scrolls, but you're an idiot if you do this without any casters.
Jaxon Sanchez
>thee larping autists in tin cans are going to try and kill a literal half-ton of angry muscle and teeth with sharp sticks Be sure to bring go-pros with you, I wanna watch how fast the screaming stops.
Jack Lewis
10 years away? GTFO I ain't got that long to wait for some college LARPers to die by grizzly
Caleb Price
While a grizzly mauling you and your imbecile friends to death would be a great boon for humanity at large, you're an imbecile for thinking any part of the logistics of this 'plan' are in any way feasible. People are debating whether or not you'd be able to kill it, I doubt you'd ever get anywhere near enough to try
Grayson Davis
don't be a faggot, Canada customs will not stop you for having armor and medieval weaponry.
just say you're actors for a movie or some shit
Isaiah Barnes
OP is a faggot, some guy soloed a grizzly with only a knife. wont even make it to the top ten with your 3 man armored bullshit
