Best chimp caliber?

9mm. All those cops can't be wrong.

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Post chimp combat stories and info dumps

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)

Underrated

12 gauge 3 inch foster slugs. Preferably from a semi-auto with a hefty 11+1 capacity, like the SX3.

Is this supposed to be a euphemism for blacks? I sure hope not.

I'll tell you something. I've spent more time around colored folk than any of you. I run a grocery store in the ghetto, formerly one in a 90% black area and currently in a 40% black area. The 90% black area one had me feeling pretty racist. The 40% black one has undone that. The vast majority of shoplifters are white. Sure, there's degenerate shit bags from all races there stealing but in that community where there is equal representation, racially, I'm not seeing any evidence at all of one being better than the other. I'm actually grateful for this. It's just poor people, liberal people, drug using people that are the problem and those are not racially segregated groups even though it may appear that way based on the media reporting and systemic poverty of black communities that has prevented any buy in of the social contract from most anyone who stays in that community.

Commies and Liberals are your real enemy and I don't see any evidence that there are more black ones than white ones.... at least not before you factor out the Jews.

Nigga a chimp can pop your arms off your shoulder sockets by just tugging sharply at your hands, in a fight they pummel you with Mike Tyson's retard strength and resort to eating your face off, your hands and your balls.

It's pronounced not "phal" not "effe AL" I know you pronounce it wrong because of the "an" in your sentence. You are wrong.

I bet you pronounce “AK” like “ack”

I just had an epiphany, you have to keep african-americans segregate, but not from whites, but from themselves. Basically a governmental administration must do everything in its power to prevent black people forming ghettos.

>"AK"
no such thing

>Chimp grabs your leg
>Hamstring gets peeled off at mach speed
>Chimp works its way up to your crotch

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2/10, too short

The black chappies should have been given their own state like the Indians and kept separated.
That aside I think the obvious choice here is 50 African eliminator

10mm

>run grocerie store
Nice try Heeb.

youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc

>Hello 911 what is your emergency?
>THE CHIMP KILLED MY FRIEND
>Whats the problem with your friend?
>PLEASE SEND THE POLICE WITH A GUN

>AKM isn't real
Lol.

>”ACK-UM”

God damn it, Chimps are not monkeys.
That 911 operator is a moron.
This is 1000x worse than someone saying clips.
>Keeps telling her to go help her friend.
Fucking moron.

.50 African Eliminator not yet mentioned? Fucking slacking, Jow Forums.

I’m going to AKM on your face.

Dayum, that was quick. You could at least take me to dinner first ;^)

Fuck him, I'll take you to dinner.

Thanks, user. I didn’t want his ack-um anyway.

Summer faggot fucking underage piece of shit thinking hes clever fucking go neck yourself i hope your family fucking dies in a fucking fire

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travis_(chimpanzee)
>The emergency crew described Nash's injuries as "horrendous".[19] Within the following 72 hours, Nash underwent more than seven hours of surgery on her face and hands by four teams of surgeons. The hospital provided counseling to its staff members who initially treated her because of the extraordinary nature of Nash's wounds.[25] Paramedics noted she lost her hands, nose, eyes, lips, and mid-face bone structure, and received significant brain tissue injuries.[26] Doctors successfully reattached her jaw,

jesus christ

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It's called running, you can't beat a chimp in a chimp fight, it's a damn chimp. However if I had to choose a weapons to fight a dumb animal with.

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>staff members needed counseling
Holy shit

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Probably a 50 cal mounted on a truck because i don't want anything that is known for ripping bodys apart and dancing on them close to me. That or an APC with a flamethrower on it

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11mm
Or this.

It's gotta be quick reloads, that's for sure. Something d-mag no doubt M1a works for me, although FAL cool factor is great. If not in a hurry and be stationed with a reloader grill, maybe a pair of Modle 94 Winchesters just to keep it "sporting" lol.

.458 SOCOM

Designed specifically to kill chimps.

It's called Section 8 Housing.

what the fuck did a fuckig monkey do this

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Yes, a chimp did this while high on Xanax.

Yes, and that is after lots of surgery.

>he suddenly attacked Herold's friend Charla Nash[4] and grievously mauled her, blinding her while severing her nose, ears, and both hands, and severely lacerating her face. He was subsequently shot dead upon the arrival of the police after he tried to attack an officer.

came to post this

>expecting a 911 operator to know the difference between monkeys and apes

It is a good thing that chimpanzees are endangered.

and that sounds a lot like why I don't date girls that have pet pit bulls

.577-450, of course.

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Rip

>I mean just imagine, if that thing manages to get its hands on you, it's all over, it's gonna eat your face, hands and possibly genitals.

Wow you could literally say that about blacks and it would be just as true.

Chimp lives matter
He was a good boy. White hoe probably tried to press false rape charges.

*blocks your path*

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.270 or slug
they are quite strong animals.

A male chimp is about 5 times stronger than an adult man.

>six posts in
>not first post

Jow Forums, I am disappoint.

.50 African Eliminator

I think a Chimp, if properly trained, could handle shooting a semi-auto 12g shot gun of some sort. Something durable, able to be used as a club effectively, and easy to load and/or easy for a handler to quickly load.

.45-70

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What's the inside bore diameter of a flame thrower?

based

What then?

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This is wrong, they are about twice as strong. It's just that they have long arms to use as leverage and very strong muscles in the hands to rip and tear

.40 out of a glawk

Twice as strong as a bodybuilder, maybe. To the average Cubicle Joe? 5 times is a good estimate.

>training chimps to use guns
do you want planet of the apes?

What is it with people and purposefully harboring dangerous animals in their homes or forcing them to do stupid shit?

If you really cared for and respected the animal you'd it where it belongs so that it doesn't get both of you killed.

I guess it's not as bad as the people who breed fighting stock pit bulls.

.22lr its all about shot placement, hit Caesar in the skull and the round will bounce around turning the brains to mush

Epic meme, dude.

See Lot of people don't realize how dangerous chimpanzees are.

.45 Automatic Chimp Penalizer

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you know how must hunting cartridges have a picture of what you will be hunting on the box?

T. Joe rogan

youtu.be/3J2V2vnrEz0

You fruit

good one.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Trayvon_Martin

Nice anecdote fag, too bad actual stats are used when big kids talk. Protip, blacks steal at a disproportionate rate to whites

Fug. Beat me to it

Blacks are raised in bad environments disproportionately to whites. You don't have to be smart to be "good".

Get that victim culture shit out of here, I know blacks that were raised straight ghetto that own businesses and vote conservative.

I also know whites raised in gated communities who work at Pizza Hut.

Opportunity is there.

No, you've misunderstood what I'm saying.
At the very least, understand that an bell curve you care to have about society is going to be mostly overlap.

any handgun will do. chimps are at best only 1.5-2x as strong by weight as humans are. a researcher named finch tested the 'ok I'm motivated now' pulling strength of chimps already trained to pull weight in return for food by first recording their stats satiated to those they produced after being starved for 24 hours back in 1943. the chimps knew that if they pulled, they'd get food. top three chimps: body weight 107lbs, max pull 487lbs; bw 122lbs, mp 450lbs; bw 108lbs, mp 450. top three humans: bw 190lbs, mp 525lbs; bw 145lbs, mp 487lbs; bw 145lbs, mp 450lbs -. female chimps were weaker than males by a roughly 3/5 ratio. the performance of male chimp suffered after abstinence - only one male chimp pulled as hard starved as they did satiated. meanwhile 2/3 of the female chimps pulled harder when they were hungry, but even then the max hungry female chimp pull was 375 compared to the max satiated male pull of 487 and hungry male pull of 450

their fine motor skills absolutely suck and they suffer from the same sort of reluctance all wild animals do to physically engage perceived threats until they're satisfied by dint of feinting and tentative attacks that those threats pose no danger to them

I'm convinced a decently trained human could kill one armed with nothing more than a decent sized knife with relative ease and I don't think it's beyond the ability of a properly trained human to disable and ultimately strangle one to death with their bare hands

Is this bait? Chimps have way denser muscle fibers than humans and the far greater leverage with how their muscles are attached. They are an order of magnitude stronger than a full grown man and could easily dislocate and even tear off limbs. When fighting other apes they always go for the face and testicles first.

Exactly. It seems the true nig nog loves .40 S&W. Not to knock 40 as a capable caliber, but the gang banging monkeys seem to love that shit.

Goddamn user, I love you. Posting Zulu related shit in a chimp thread, GOD SPEED my friend! GOD SPEED!

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>Nash underwent more than seven hours of surgery on her face and hands by four teams of surgeons.
>The hospital provided counseling to its staff members who initially treated her because of the extraordinary nature of Nash's wounds.
>Doctors successfully reattached her jaw
Why the fuck would anyone allow one of these animals near them?

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1 megawatt laser cannon or a Gatling gun

Stats are still outrageously disproportionate even after accounting for income and whether or not it is a two parent household.

They don’t call it 22 lobotomizing round for nothing

Just don't be a bitch and you'll stand a better chance. Fear will defeat you in a fight against an animal like that, you need to tap into your inner unhindered aggression like it does. You think it's above you yet it's beyond stupid and a little punk. You have infinitely more advantages than that piece of shit, save for big teeth. You could repeatedly slam it on the ground every time it gets close to you until you break enough of its bones for it to fuck off.

khat chewing, allah praising chimps

the reason they're only on record for fucking up old men and women is that fit humans can fend them off with kicks, shoves, punches, sharp sticks and anything a person can use to bludgeon a critter with. their bone density isn't much better than ours is. maybe 25-33% more so. it took two aggressive chimps to take down a young male legume-american

large dogs are more dangerous than chimps, pound for pound. even though they're on the short end of the stick against any reasonably fit and competent human that doesn't go into OMG PLZ DONT HURT ME (spoilers: gets hurt) mode. you see, when chimps are attacked and killed by other chimps, the chimp that ends up dead barely puts up any resistance whatsoever. it flees, it says 'ok you got me!' when caught, and when that fails, it goes into 'plz don't hurt me' mode followed by 'ow OW! ok! I give already!' and by the time it figures out oh hey these chimps are out to kill me, it's too late. give a fit chimp the mind of a human, a clear understanding of the parameters for victory and put it in the pit with a presa canario, the chimp will win. but chimps don't have human brains. one on one, they'll try to intimidate the dog, and even with their chimp brains they'd likely win against a dog that wasn't bred and trained to attack by dint of harassment and hit and run attacks, but a true attack dog has no regard for its own safety and so the chimp will ultimately break, do everything they can to get the fuck away from the dog and ultimately do what any chimp that got cornered by chimp hunting party does - go into "OK you got me no kill me plz" mode. only to get torn to pieces thanks to the dog's similarly large teeth, much larger neck muscles, and its caring no more for the nuances of chimp body language than it does for the notion that hey this ape just might fuck me up in a fair fight

9x19

For chimp killing 12ga would be pretty good
But 7.62 would do the job