A very angry doggo grabs 5yo standing next to you by arm...

>not c: shoot dog, owner, and kid

Shoot the hostage

>take off shirt
>wrap non dominant arm with shirt
>find stick or object thicker than your thumb
>shove your shirt arm into dogs mouth
>smash dog on head behind ear
>take smashed dog skull and make goblet, carve dog leg into carry knife

Shove my handgun down it's throat until it chokes and dies. That way any fingerprints on the gun are dissolved by stomach acid eliminating any proof that I had a gun.

c) Shoot nigger who owns dog

I hate kids but love dogs so...tell the cops the kid attacked the dog and it couldn't take anymore abuse.

grab the doggo by its hind legs. this worked with my brother's dumbass nigger dogs (pitbulls) that would get vicious on each other.

release the Kittehs of War

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> - t. speznaz

tactical pen, drive straight down into top center of dog's skull

Depends on the race user.

go for the eyes

let my camel take care of the problem

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Fuck the dog

I dont think you grasp how thick dog skulls are as well as how ineffective most handheld stabbing implements are.
Try stabbing through a piece of thick wood like a table top.
Going for the eyes would be a better bet, but moving targets are a bitch to hit especially one that trying to kill.

Take the time to get to know the dog before making a rash and potentially unfair judgement. You dont know its story.

What race the kid? I’ll only help if it’s white.

Not my kid not my problem. Let the little cunts parents deal with it. I'm not getting lectured by some faggot couple after I white knight for their kid.

I carry a cold steel recon 1 tanto point, it's razor sharp, probably could stab through a dog skull.

Blast it with piss.

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I ain't doing anything. I skedaddle the fuck out of there while this obviously pissed dog is distracted by easier prey.

>Not a problem.
>I'd shoot the kids arm off
>Dog keeps it's arm
>Kid gets time off school to shit post on Jow Forums
>I get to shoot my gun

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

(A) Simple.
(B) Go for the soft-spots.
Punching to the snout works.
So does grabbing by the dick (or balls if they're still there. Grapping hold of the sheathed penis and wrenching it like to snap it in half is guaranteed to take his attention off even tasty child-snacks.
The trick then is to keep holding on while punching the head with your free hand (the head is hard but the nose and lips are soft, it's more for shock&awe than actual damage) until they're on their back and dominance is established.
>SF used to invite all the new support guys to 'come train with the dogs (Malinois)' and use them as chewtoys. I grew up in an extended family of uncles who were all dog-breeders and rough-housed with Dobes and Rottis all my childhood.
They didn't want me back a second time. Kek.

Call the ATF and tell them I have shoelaces.

The 5 year old was probably a little cunt anyway and antagonizing the dog. This is probably a valuable life lesson.

Stick a biro or something similar up its arse

Use dog as club to bludgeon dog owner to death.

>t. pitbull owner

>I totally fought a malinios and won bro

If my one year old mal is any indication, you would be torn the fuck apart if you tried that stunt without a bite suit. She can yank my fiancee off her feet while she’s on a leash if she sees a squirrel or something and she’s barely 50 pounds. Those dogs are the literal definition of weaponized autism

>Don’t try to use a knife

slit that fuckers throat and see how he reacts. he'll be dead. I stabbed some mixed le 56% mongrel dog once that was fighting and latched onto my parents english staffy. I got my pig sticker out and stabbed right into its armpit into the heart / lung, it let go, looked stunned for a little bit then just dropped dead, while my parents dog mauled it.

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>Go for a kill move without incapacitating the target
>on a angry dog of all things
Lol this fag is going to wound a dog trying to be some edgy ninja

i dont because i hate kids

I shove the kid towards the dog and book it.

I prefer option d: shoot everyone in the immediate vicinity

Ye olde wheelbarrow maneuver. grab dogs hind legs and lift him up by them.

Depends on the kid.
Also kinda depends on the dog.
I honestly would have a hard time killing a dog if it looked similar to the ones I grew up with (Husky, Belgian malinois, Australian shepherd).
Also the glorious state of Texas does not legally cover me in the event that I use my handgun to defend against a dog, so I probably would just stab it if I disliked the dog and liked the kid.

everytime i see that

I go..fuck thats a savage fucking cat. It knew exactly what it as doing.
Think about it...this cat was a fucking WARRIOR.
Pic related.

It put its FULL weight into that body check...and the faact that it DID anything at all was really astounding. It basically said not on my watch mother fucker.

impressed always by this

>letting a nigger dog maul a kid to death or severely maim it
>not being a subhuman

Pick one and only one

a: Bullet trough its brain
b: Rip its eyes out (unironically)

a. shoot dog
b. shoot dog, because only fags obey gun-free zone signs

>a
shoot it
>b
shoot it because I'm not a bitch that follows gay regulations

let the dog maul the kid as a distraction so it doesn't go after me too, then fuck my wife and make another kid to replace the last one so she gets over it.

Mals are just lightweight GSDs.
They're fast and preferred because so many GSD bloodlines have the tendency to hip dysplasia, but it means they don't have any heft when the running attack stops and we're scrabbling on the ground.
Bitesuits are for PR dog shows. Talibs dont wear them so its useless to train dogs to a bitesuit.

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I laughed, have a (you)

I worked as a butcher, assuming a dog would have similar bone density to a pig, that dog is fucked. If you're a big guy with a sturdy enough knife you could potentially drive it through the skull in one blow, the rest of you will have to work it like an ice pick but it will take maybe 3-4 hits.

Your Malinois is only Alpha to your GF because he likes the taste of peanut-butter when you're not home.

If my kid was under attack by a dog I'd jump head first onto that dog and tackle it. As soon as I have contact with the barrel and the dog's torso I'm mag dumping into it then shoot it as it runs away. Then I'd contact 911 and my lawyer.

1.- Shoot the dog with my Draco
2.- Shoot the dog with my CC fuddy five
Magdump too, hopefully the owner sees that

Go back to plebbit faggot, keep your bullshit stories there.
Underrated

>I'm mag dumping into it (at point blank range) then shoot it as it runs away
What the fuck do you carry, a bb gun?

good kitteh =]

finger

up the butt

The dog has already ripped the child's throat out. You took too long user.

Throats aren't located in arms dummy, lrn2anatomy

>How do you prevent it from ripping off kids face AND don't get injured yourself

Well actually I had to deal with something like this when I was a kid. TL:DR when I was kid I had defend my mother and myself with a metal lunch box against two vicious mutts. Took the eye out of one and killed the other.

If you're stuck being attacked without a good weapon you need to be willing to use whatever blunt object you can to just beat the piss out of your attacker anyway you can. Be it a stick, your lunch box, or even just some other mother fucker you don't like.

You do nothing. If you kill your enemies they win.

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Push. Doggo teeth curl backwards. How doggo teeth hurt you is when the dog bites down and pulls back, the teeth dig in. If you push, your flesh slides WITH the teeth, meaning they dig in much less, possibly not at all, so you don't get hurt. Just cram your arm in their mouth and push. They won't be able to close their mouth and will start to choke, and will try to spit you out.

T. I've done this before and it works.

They also seem to choose “fight” more often in a “fight or flight” scenario- though I guess this could vary from dog to dog, right? I’m just basing my shit talk off of whatnot I’ve seen my dog do. She’s fast, smart, and has no problems when it comes to attacking. We happened upon a cougar about 50 feet up a path in West Texas when she was about 10 months old and she was pulling hard on the leash, snarling and barking. I’ve never seen a dog do that before. She’s probably have gotten her as soon eaten but I have no doubt in my mind that she’d actually try to fuck that cat up.

Epic trolle my dude! :)

Please go back to pleddit and don't come back.

>doggo
Why do you talk like a faggot or some woman on social media? jesus fuck we're doomed.

Stomp it's skull in.

>t. Newfriend

This.
Seriously, your doggo needs to know that she's your bitch not his and behave himself.
It's part of the genuine Alpha-dog relationship for her to be the Alpha's bitch and as the Beta he has to respect that.
>or she might as well be taking the knot

Like GSDs, Mals are smart enough to know when to go hard. Some other hard dogs are just dumb and have attack as their default mode even when it's dumb or wrong. Yes, a Mal or GSD will step in to protect even if the odds are hopeless, but it's still made as a decision not just a reaction.
When it's not needed, they can decide to be total goofs or softies with the kids, then turn it back on when required.

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>a) with a handgun
Press revolver up against doggo spinal column away from kid pull trigger
>b) in no-gun zone
stab the shit out of pupper and/or kick off of kid with boots and stomp

>t. aspiring ATF agent

Ok first off, #notalldogs, it's probably a dirty shitbull raised by retards which means it's practically feral. Other dogs don't do this, just shitbulls.

with a handgun is simple, just place the gun on the top of the head or base of the skull aiming straight down

with nogunz is more fun though.
>grab hind-legs, lift the little fucker up off the ground, shake up and down, twist it around, etc
>elbow drop onto base of neck
>thumbs in eyes
>pinching the gums (press really fucking hard on his gums, keep in mind that as soon as the little fucker lets go he's gonna bite you, this is not good idea)
>kick or elbow in the ribs
there's literally so many options I don't know how bystanders don't kill attacking dogs every single time.

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C: Benis ib doggo bumholio

All these people know what they would do. Jesus. I have actually had to shoot a doberman because I was attacked walking down the street.
>pedigree Doberman
>4 generation marine dog
>guard dog for neighbor
>jumps fence perceives me as a threat
>hurls itself toward me with slime oozing out of the corners of mouth
>instantly and willingly give the dog my left arm
>draw weapon with right hand and shoot dog twice
>no charges filed and won big lawsuit against owner.
>27 stitches and rehabilitation
>perfect use of my hand

>27 stitches and rehabilitation

How long did the rehab take? How bad was the tinnitus from shooting without ear pro? did it go away?

WHAT?

Unless the kid came from a rich/important family who would compensate me for saving him/her I'd just let them get mauled

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>a
Tackle dog, put pistol up against side of its head, pull trigger, profit.
>b
Grab dog by trachea, squeeze with my massive grip strength, trachea crunches, dog releases kid, grab dog by back feet, Bardock smash dog to death, profit.

Cows are easy and affordable. No bloodshed required. Weaponized cows when?

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>wanting weaponized cows
Thinking about going mooclear, user?

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>when the bull is not the bull

fuck the gun free zone I am mag dumping.

>be me, 13 years old
>Bull Terrier attacks little sister of 11
>Jump on dogs back and place in a headlock/chokehold
>Bull terrier goes nuts for like 5 seconds
>Rideemcowboy.jpg
>throat begins to collapse and releases sisters are
>5 stitches and a tetanus shot

This happened several years ago, constriction caused the dogs tongue to swell and cause him to release. Doggo was put down after.

It's a fucking meme. My dad never wears ear protection, hunts twice a week with his 7x64 and can hear a boar fucking around in corn from 200m in his 50s.

Power move: kill self to distract dog and make it go through extensive therapy to realize that to be a good boy he has to embrace the good boy, but in a different way than attacking a child.

Did you get to whip the owner a part of the court award?

Man I knew camels could do shit like this, but I've never seen it til now. I never thought those dopey fucks had it in them This is why I have a big kitty. They fare better in battle against bad doggos

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Grab dogs frontal legs, pull apart. Rig cage shatters to shrapnel like porcelain, muscles in legs rip and tear, heart has a high chance of being crushed and punctured. Lungs will collapse or be ruptured. Lifting the dog by the legs off the ground will render it incapable of retaliating effectively if at all.

This move is known as "The Romanian Chiropractor".

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Yeah.... ok

Obviously none of you dumb niggers are reading his post because he clearly states his dog is a female- and that whole alpha/beta stuff has been long debunked anyway. Mals, like any working dog, like to test limits so his fiancée is probably just way too leinient with the dog and it acts poorly around her because she knows she can probably get away with it

Shove your thumb or an object up it's ass. Seriously I work animal control it works literally anything will stop biting and try running away from the thing up it's ass.

This. Undeniably

that's for me to know and you not to.

>protip: dogs are not limber

I want to believe this but I also have my significant doubts.

not everyone has retard strength user