Jow Forums vs. The Harry Potter World

(OP)
>How does Jow Forums siege Hoggwarts?
Show the dumb bastards why castles became obsolescent with advent of modern artillery.
>Will Jow Forums use their magic against them?
I dunno, are we magic?
>Will Jow Forums do some trophy hunting on the magic beasts?
An obvious yes.
>Can magic stop a Nuke?
To be determined.
>What if there's an oil field under Hogwarts?
Probably cost too much to dig it up under the centuries worth of castle. It'll be a necessary sacrifice.

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Some wizards dont even know what guns are. Thats how disconmected they are from the real world. There is no way for them to prep

>Vs
Y tho
>Jow Forums IN the Harry Potter world
>American wizards not aspie fucks because FREEDOM
Corn fed American combat wizards and their wizard friends pissing off britbong cuck wizards and inbred pure bloods magikikes

>American auror who dresses like an cross between Indiana Jones and Dick Tracy
>Uses a plane Jane handgun 99% of the time
>Nothing the bong ministry of magic can do about it
>Most effective auror in British history
>Limey tears of impotent rage as he shoots rogue refugee wizards of peace and tolerance and fucks all the ministry secretaries teeth straight

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Pic related

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Hybridize. Pic related.

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Dibs on the French transplant

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>are we magic?
This is a magical place

Teleportation. Invisibility. Mind control.

Wizards are fucking broken strong. Ignore the unplottable home bases, memory erasing, explosive magic and Dementors (which can only be harmed magically) and they'd still win so easily. Fighting a war against invisible guerrilas who can teleport is a really bad idea. They could tp in, charm stuff to act as landmines, teleport out, all invisible.

Their mind control isnkt really that good tho. You have to get somewhat close, it doesn’t effect someone who has a strong enough will and it will likely wear off before too long.

Likewise, their invisibility isn't perfect, except for Potter’s cloak.

And of course, it’s hard to be a sneaky spooky teleported if every time you teleport there’s a great big BANG.

I would assume hogwarts was built in the highlands of scotland. And it's veiled under the mountains, but I dont know much about Harry Potter.

Im going to assume that veil is as strong as Tokyo-3 in Evangelion. Which, built underground, took multiple Near-Nuclear bombs before it was finally infiltrated. While it also had mentally retarded characters in god machines defending it.

So assuming morale was high and some of our biggest human bombs, non nuclear.
It would take some work. Dragons would easily be dispatched. But any of the top quidditch teams could be too agile for any missile to keep up with. They would have to be taken out by anti-aircraft high rpm weapons. Harry looked very vulnerable to flak as he was flying over london.

Once we get through the veil, that lve now abstractly compared to the geodome in evangelion. Artillery wouldnt do much.
The stupid dome the cat/gilf lady put up would stop all infiltration and material entry.
We would have to focus lasers on it, l think magic is like energy? To disperse their bubble around hogwarts.

Or. We could make the area around hogwarts entirely unlivable. Starve them out. But theyd probably just use their teleportation tricks to keep foodstuffs incoming.

It seems pretty impregnable with the bubble around it. All of its defense before the bubble would be for naught. And if lasers work to drop the shield in specific spots? Well. Impregnate the bitch.

>Jow Forums devestates the magic world
>they begin by assaulting diagon alley
>they kill all magical creatures and lay them out in neat rows
>without the goblins the dragons break out of Gringotts
>some faggots eith an ac-47 mows them down
>the Jow Forumsommandos force the wizards and witches to replicate milsurp from uniforms and firearms to armored vehichles and aircraft
>soon the Jow Forumsommandos get dissatisfied
>they turn their eyes on hogwarts
>they force the magicfags they captured to disable the barrier around hogwarts
>with that the Jow Forumsommandos let out a battlecry to be remembered for eternity
>ALL HAIL THE MURDER Jow ForumsUBE, AVE NEX ALEA
>an Armada of replicated F-4 phantoms soared over the forbidden forest dropping napalm over all magical creatures
>Heuys full of the most elite Jow Forumsommandos invaded from the top floors of hogwarts all while playing It Ain't Me
>A mix of Slavshit and ARs fired off volleys and wiped out at least 100 of the magical fucks
>One Jow Forumsommando put his ridle on hisnback and rushed in to kill some with his glock
>he got within 1 foot of a group of 8 wizfags before his glocknade went off
>Harry seeing it was hopeless to use his wand tried to pick up the AK from the dead Jow Forumsommando but a hunch of AR fags saw him pick it up and sperged out
>Harry fell dead on the ground his body completely riddled with holes
>One Jow Forumsommando had his 1911 enchanted to give it the STOPPIN POWAH he wanted
>suffice to say 40 corpses were found 200+ miles away from hogwarts with forensic evidence of them being shot with .45 acp
>the epite group of Jow Forumsommandos captured all hogwarts professors alive so they could force these masters of magic to do the will of Jow Forums
>A whole platoons worth of moist nuggets afixed their bayonets and performed the final charge of the battle of Hogwarts
>the vodka and slavshit fueled charge wipes out the remaining force of 300 of those "superior magic people"
>All of the Jow Forumsommandos get free milsurp and firearms for life
[Part 1 of 2]

>the Jow Forumsommandos rename the forbidden forest the napalm forest after it had all been burnylt down with no surviving creatures
>they celebrate in a drunken stupor
>everyone gets free cloned milsurp and ammunition for life
>wizards are enslaved to male sure the milsurp never ends

What do you think we'd fucking do OP?

>Jow Forumsommandos are taking turns on moaning myrtle
>her moans and screams can be heard across the entire campus grounds
>turns out it was just some fag on polyjuice

They can teleport

In one lifetime we went from wooden biplane to putting a man on the moon, wizards on the other hand could not grasp the concept of sutures. They are pretty fucked when we go total war and start rolling out facial recognition cameras to death squads with shoot to kill orders.

>wizards on the other hand could not grasp the concept of sutures
Sauce?

What about polyjuice futas?

Cant tp in Hogwarts. Old magic.

Fucking YES, but not polyjuice, morepermanent transmutation magic.

Hey fag look at post related:

Jow Forums would fuck and shoot everything to death

I haven't read Harry Potter in quite some time, but from what I do recall, and some interesting fan stories/ideas I've seen floating around from time to time...

Wasn't there a war between wizards and muggles already, which the muggles won? Isn't that why wizards have to keep their existence a secret, they have a minister in the muggle government, rather than their own government, and are generally terrified of muggles?

With rare exception, don't all spells require the words to be spoken? And, isn't the teaching of offensive magic essentially limited to three curses? Yeah, sure, one of them kills you instantly, but so does a fucking bullet.

So, I'm thinking a handful of snipers. Well camouflaged with as close to silenced as humanly possible rifles. Maybe go full VSS on their asses. 9x39 dropped from 300yds away in near perfect silence.

Hogwarts, dead of night. The wizards are out celebrating in their assumed safety. Five or six snipers are in the grass, ghillied up. An unfamiliar sound is heard by a few, before their friends drop in front of them. They can't see where it's coming from, or what's doing it. They try and run, to call for help, but it's too late. Kick the VSS in full auto and just mow them down.

Egress, after sending them running to their castle, and then hit it with artillery from 25miles away and watch the castle crumble.

Bombard it all night, and at dawn, sweep in and kill the survivors.

Shock and awe fixes everything. Fuck u Dickwarts

I Don't think wizards understand bombs too much.
>Would suicide vests be an option?

even well camouflaged artillery positions would do this well enough

Where the fuck do you camoflauge artillery when there are groundskeepers with squaking eagles. Womping willows ready to bust your shit. And the worst part. Gangraping centaurs in the woods?
There is a reason hogwarts is a castle. Its exterior is horrifying.

>tfw you will never drop a JDAM on hogwarts from an F-16

Nuh uh, acktshully food cannot be transfigured in the Harry Potter universe

Gawd

>Probably cost too much to dig it up

Motherfucker I’m in 9000 feet of water and they’re drilling for oil, some old castle would be nothing to drill through.

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It's amazing how many of these pop culture memes are thinly veiled stories about Jewry.

Imperio is way op.

Combine that with memory charms and the muggles wouldn't have a chance.

> post op mtf tranny drinks gender reversal potion and transforms into post op ftm tranny

How tragic would that be.

Obligatory.

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The sympathizers should try to combine muggle weapons with magic.

Itsh nawt transhfigurement itsh multuplicashun! Duhhh. And itsh not abused often but itsh ushable! Hermoine even talked about it in the sheventh boook.

Dibs on Merula

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go back to s4s

>implying
/v/ & /vg/ all the way

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Drunkposting, not even once.

I’m not a huge Potterfag, but I seem to remember that they don’t have any attacking capability beyond human sight range. Pic related could vaporise them as they leave their little medieval compound.

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GAMPS
FIRST
LAW
REEEEEE I KNEW MY HARRY POTTER AUTISM WOULD BE USEFUL.
While you can multiply food, i have a feeling that while not stated, it would be calorically empty, as otherwise that breaks gamps first law too.

>Jow Forums in the Harry Potter world

also known as Magicka Vietnam. I miss that game.

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You mean one of the exceptions to Gamp's first law. Gamp states the opposite.

There wasnt a muggle-wizard war. Wizards just keep to themselves because they value tradition more than progress and are usually scared of muggles because they dont "get" them. Being so used to doing things with magic, the idea of a toaster is completely alien to them. Most traditional wizard houses dont have electricity.
>arent all spells verbal?
Spells are meant to be performed non-verbally if you can. Hogwarts starts teaching silent spells in 6th grade, but you're kind of expected to not yell your spells as soon as possible. Youre considered some kind of retard if youre an adult and still voice common spells in normal situations.
>isnt the teaching of offensive magic limited to three curses
Thats the "forbidden curses". They focus on the killing one, but "extreme torture on demand" and "literally control everyone at will" are way, way better for a wizard military unit.
Offensive and combat spells are many already, and technically infinite since people can literally invent spells out of nothing and "spell that turns your heart into stone" isnt really that wild of a concept. Snape invented a curse that guts you with an invisible sword when he was a child, and no one is really surprised so it must be relatively commonplace.
>bullets
Magic shields are generally accepted to stop bullets. Hogwarts is supposed to be one of the most protected places in canon lore. The Ministry doesnt have as many intertwined defensive spells and its the literal government.

All of that said, its community canon that a muggle with a shotgun wins against an unprepared wizard. A prepared wizard would just break your arm, kill you, or disarm you with a flick of the wand or hand, so its a bit of an unfair matchup.

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the man in charge of muggle weaponry study literally called them "firelegs", i think we're fine

>active magic camo
>silencing your guns and footsteps with magic
>magically enhanced bullets with no entry or exit wounds. only kill.
>infinite magic zoom
>never out of ammo since you can just make more ammo
>obliviate every civilian witness
>extracting prisoners and VIPs via small portkeys
>literally just apparate in and out enemy lines
>last one out makes a floo bonfire with the corpses and himself, teleports everything back to base.
Life could be so fun.

>Snape invented a curse that guts you with an invisible sword
No he didn’t

>Magic shields are generally accepted to stop bullets
No they aren’t.

>literally control a couple people (who are weak-willed) at will (for a limited amount of time)
FTFY

1. I ignore everything after book seven and give zero fucks what Rowling said or has made afterwards.

2. Considering that?

They have mind control, mind reading, multiple forms of teleportation with over 150mile range, and extremely advanced stealth capabilities.

We lose. Because we cannot find them. We can not engage them.

Would the wizards survive if we just cracked the planet in half with nukes in the core?

They can teleport. They have advanced stealth technology. They have a slave species capable of teleportation and capable of carrying things. They dont need to replicate food.

No. But everything after the initial books and mvoies was and is completely pointless and stupid trash.

>they can teleport
Not in the castle. And if Dumbledore could pull down whatever was preventing it, a friendly wizard convert can put it back up

>They have advanced stealth technology
They have ONE infallible device. That can only barely fit a couple teenagers. Everything else is expensive garbage (invisibility cloaks) or not really true invisibility (dissolutionment)

They have Floo travel.

They have MULTIPLE teleportation methods.

They can capture anyone they please and forcibly teleport them to any location within 200km. And then perform an interrogation of the likes that would have the envy of every intel org everywhere.

>then perform an interrogation of the likes that would have the envy of every intel org everywhere.
Implementless torture is still torture, and as we know is extremely unreliable.

floo powder also doesnt work in hogwarts. theres a reason you have to take a train.

It does, but given that we know nothing about it’s mechanics, it’s entirely possible that there’s a reason it isn’t used other than MUH TRADITION.

They have no need for torture. Either Veritiserum (truth potion) or the Imperio Curse (mind control) would get answers from literally anyone.

Yes he did. Snape invented sectumsempra by himself. If you dont like that one, Riddle & Co. invented morsmodre at some point, too.
>cant block bullets
While not explicitly stated, if the shield charm can sustain the force of a waterfall and block an arrow in midair, it most likely can block a bullet if you use a strong enough variant.
Basic protego can block an arrow with no effort and no vocalization needed. With arrows going at around 300 feet per second and bullets at around 2500fps, you'd need at most 7.5 times the protego energy to block a bullet. Which is probably not that much considering theres at least three specific Protego modifications that make it considerably stronger: totalis, maxima and horribilis.

>And of course, it’s hard to be a sneaky spooky teleported if every time you teleport there’s a great big BANG
Think of a location within 100miles of where you are at right now.
Any location. Now think of all of them. Every house. Every wood. Everywhere.

Get it yet?

Iraq war shock-and-awe style. I’d like to see those pathetic cucks stand up to thermobaric bunker busters around the clock. Also psychological warfare, along with chemical if they kept up their shit.

>Mentioning Quidditch

You done fucked up. Take a bludger, now reprogram it to be lethal. Just a self guiding ironball with some magic. Sounds fun?

pottermore.com/explore-the-story/sectumsempra

>Slices and maims the target, as if they are being cut by an invisible sword. Injuries may be permanent
>"Blood spurted from Malfoy’s face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword."
>"This book is property of the Half-Blood Prince." (Snape)

IMPERIO DOES NOT WORK ON PEOPLE WITH STRONG WILL. FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME
For fucks sake. Potter was able to completely throw it off after one lesson.

No he didn’t. There is literally zero proof he did beyond him going “BUT THAT’S MY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE SPELL”
The only evidence is that is was written in his diary I mean potions book. You know what else was? Levicorpus, which Sirius knew in his fifth year. So unless Snape invented that spell and then taught it to his greatest enemy, it’s probable that he found it somewhere else and wrote it down. You know what else was written in his diary? A bunch of other prank spells. So unless he took a sudden leap from “making people’s toenails grow” to murder, again it’s entirely probable he was just writing stuff down that he found. Especially since there’s literally zero additional evidence of him being a genius spell inventor.

Fuck Snape.

>Wasn't there a war between wizards and muggles already, which the muggles won?
Problem: Magic advanced during that time too, things like portkeys, the floo network, centralized healthcare and training regarding apparition. Brooms going from kinda fun to 100moh zoomers. They dont need animals to fly anymore.

Imperious, Veritaserum, Legilimency. Disillusionment charms.

They can even take our vehicles and make them teleport and behave according to cartoon physics for shits and giggles.

You got about a week, if they go full dickhead, before they fuckup every oil refining facility across the globe. All of them. And repeatedly keep them fucked up.

There done. They win.

We have nukes and niggers

Thats different. Very much so.

>being this buttblasted about hypothetical situations in a harry potter thread on the weapons board

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>You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them ~ I, the Half-Blood Prince

Yeah they ruined magicka with the sequel. Worse than ive ever seen regarding any sequel.

>Revolver that reloads itself by teleporting rounds into the chamber
>Bit wonky because it's actively taking rounds from around the world in the proper caliber
>Never know if you're going to pull the trigger and get ratshot, ball ammo, R.I.P. meme rounds, low recoil sd rounds, +p self defense rounds, or Buffalo bore
>Gotta work on that enchantment... but what it does to what it's aimed at is always interesting

>Time to die Eddie
>Point your .44 between his eyes
>Ratshot
>Eyeballs eviscerated but very much alive
>FUCK I didn't mean to do that hold still damn you
>Usurious magical loanshark running around parking garage blind with comical levels of blood spewing everywhere
>Keeps missing with gun going from no recoil to heavy recoil with each shot
>fucking. Hold. Still.
>Running in a straight line
>BOOM
>Auror takes revolver Barrel to the face
>Bad guys head explodes like in scanners
>Buffalo Bore

So they have to teleport a fair distance then walk? Yeah, real useful.
Also, most wizards can’t be bothered with it. Also, if you aren’t at least a little familiar with the location, you’re probably going to splinch yourself. Which sucks

I have been training all of my life for this day.

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Just plate everything in reactive armor. Bludgers will now go out of their way to destroy themselves at the first opportunity.

Again, that’s just him saying it. That doesn’t make it true.

I bet you think Hagrid was the one who bred the Skrewts too. And that tech doesn’t work in Hogwarts

They can take the information directly from your memories. Torture is unnecessary, resistance would be impossible for muggles.

>theres a reason you have to take a train.
Yeah. Logistics. Its easy to gather all the shits into one spot andhave them arrive at the same time eith minimal trouble.

Dumbledore explicitly has floo on his office.

Pretty sure memories have to be voluntarily given. And you have to have a fantastically rare magical device to do anything with them

They leave, and are fucking up your shit with impunity.

>IMPERIO DOES NOT WORK ON PEOPLE WITH STRONG WILL. FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME
>For fucks sake. Potter was able to completely throw it off after one lesson
While prepared. Against a man he trusted.

Oh and Harry is magical. Oh and wow. 1 in 50 shows resistance to it....yeah...great odds.

Its every person who thinks the muggles could win ever. Pure buttrage when confronted with how stupidly overpowered JK Rowling made her Wizards and Witches.
And this never contradicted, by anyone. Which is impressive.

So did Crouch. So did other Crouch. Speaking of, Crouch himself said that it can be fought

>Hello, im a researcher, I invented this formula.
>>You SAYING you did doesnt prove JACK SHIT how do we know you DID, huh?
Theres a bunch of crossed names before "sectumsempra", hinting that he tried several other names and none worked. Snape, Voldemort and Harry are the only users. He literally says he invented it himself.

Also according to the official pottermore: pottermore.com/features/pottermore-severus-snape-infographic
He did invent both Levicorpus, its counterspell Liberacorpus and Sectumsempra along with a bunch other memespells. Presumably he used Levicorpus on someone and since its just an upgraded Leviosa and its fun to use everyone started using it. Then he created Liberacorpus.
So you're wrong on everything.

Also: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 12 (Silver and Opals) - "Harry had already attempted a few of the Prince’s self-invented spells." from the wiki referring to Sectumsempra.

>Also, most wizards can’t be bothered with it. Also, if you aren’t at least a little familiar with the location, you’re probably going to splinch yourself. Which sucks
True. And Their medical technology is good enough to fix splincinging. Quite easiky.

>And this never contradicted
Because why would they?

>Quite easily
IF they can get to you. Which is a big fucking IF. Meanwhile, it hurts like a motherfucker and you’re probably not going to be able to get to help.

Wrong. Snape spends half of book six taking a trip through memeory lane with Harry. So long as you are either compliant or restrained, Legilimency can dig through your memories. You have to be a trained occlumens to fight it in anyway.
....you mean after it worked......FOR YEARS AND MONTHS? FOR FUCKING DECADES?!?!?!?

>He did invent levicorpus
Bullshit. The same spell was used by Sirius (and multiple other people).) One year before Snape would have gotten his book. So unless Snape invented multiple spells as a fifteen year old (reminder that the only person who’s shown mucking about with custom spells died from it) and then proceeded to spread those spells around to the point his MOST HATED ENEMY used them against him.

>JK Rawling is a hack who fell into children+magic=money first and is somehow worse at retconning and universe building than disneywars
Ftfy

But keep telling yourself that a wizard can block a projectile he can't see with the "force of 7 waterfalls".