Fuck crickets man

>1:00 AM
>loud cricket in my bed
>can't find it

what do Jow Forums

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burn your room down thatll get rid of it.

Close your blinds
Odds are it's a cloud of swap gas igniting from light reflecting off of venus

>swamp gas
can't fool me, cia nigger

Go to the shelter and adopt a Jow Forumsat. You'll thank me later.

fellas, i want to sleep tonight, how do i lure a horny insect out of my room?

>>loud cricket in my bed
Is your bed in a field

Ok answer this user
But seriously if it's in your bed then get up and wreck that bed and find it, kill it. Otherwise accept defeat from a fucking cricket and sleep elsewhere. There's nothing else left to do homeless Jow Forumsanon

With wine and marriage proposals and know kinky intercourse on the couch

i live in the middle of the city, but these ugly fucks love to come out at nightime from under the floor, never bothered me until now. also, there's other people at the house, so no noisy tactics like destroying my bed

Accept that your new room mate has a short lifespan and then sleep anyway to spite his/her loud ass self.

miss me with that gay shit boye, male crickets do noise

rip terry, cia finally got him with a train

Just do it for fucks sake. Everyone will agree with you if they ask. Stop being a pussified bitch.

Are they katydids our just regular crickets?

If they're regular crickets, they can't be that bad. Just ignore them.

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it's really small, i opened the window so it can leave, but the stupid cunt tries to come back to my room

so, i tried to push it out of the window without harming it, but he didn't wanted to, so i kinda, broke his legs n' shit in the process and tossed him out with severe brain damage so... happy ending? i think the lesson of tonight is to straight up kill them cause nature is fucking stupid

The cricket violated the NAP so it's all good.

>1:00 am
>cars screeching
>niggers yelling
>car horns honking
>noguns state

I accept my fate.

no one fucks around with my 4 hours of restful rejuvenating dream

I killed a cricket in my house earlier this year. My life got all fucked up. It was one thing after another until my friends were asking me what gypsy I pissed off.

That Chinese shit about crickets man, the chinks know what's up.

Have a good night.

know that feel, friend of mine wrote his name with a red pencil, three days later his appendix exploded, fucking ghosts man...

Stand on your front porch and empty a double-barrel shotgun into your yard.

grenade

thanks user, have a good day

>intentional misspelling of boy
Ladies and gentlemen, I need your attention, this is an urgent broadcast of a run-on sentence warning. That aside, you're a nuisance to this board, due to the homosexuality you display. I'd suggest going back to your four letter space board before you get hurt. And if getting hurt is your wish, then there is eyeball disconnecting nerve-ending ending mayhem to be had against the ones responsible for importing LGBT cancer into this board. Aside from that, if you're clean, enjoy the ride, and enjoy the purging process. We're open from 3am to 8pm, the jewmando kill store, not the typical niglet enterprises, but our purity firearms PMC division. We are the cure, you're the cancer, do not forgive us, expect us instead. We are extra calories and fat expect us. Smash their bills, leave them to suffer, leave their wings to absorb blood, and leave those to suffer as well. We are the new generation of Jow Forums, we can't stop fapping to elf ahegao and fortnite dance emotes.

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fag