Your favorite Jow Forums related experience or memory

>>I teach ccw courses and had a class full of gays and transgenders once, they were the happiest and most eager to be there
>I referred to the trans dudes as misses and got a lot of brownie points for it from the liberal girls that attended

>went to my first sex club and ran into a cute milf college professor
>sucked her toes while she choked me and di other femdom stuff

I dont regret a goddamn thing

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>your biggest kept secret to date
What's with all these threads always asking for Jow Forums's secrets that have been appearing recently.

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>>drew terrible furry porn when you were 25
Fuck, are you me?

>I am an electrician specializing in lightswitches
>my lightswitches are imported en masse from China
>I am secretly not an electrician

>What's with all these threads always asking for Jow Forums's secrets that have been appearing recently.
Seems like an ATF/CIA honeypot operation.

I am probably a closeted lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Shooting bottles with my skinhead cousin and listening to Alabama Nigger.

I am probably a closet bisexual.

In five years you're going to be calling yourself a woman and demanding we give you our weapons, aren't you?

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They want people to post about how they've broken the law, is my guess.
>hey Jow Forums let me tell you about the time I lied on my 4473! so ebin!!!1!one

One mans nightmare is another man's dream
You should have drank first or used more lube, its literally impossible to be gay if a girl does it

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garage sten and kalkov

>Picking up my SKS from the FFL and telling a friend that I'd have to call him back as I was prepccupied
>I put my toothbrush up my ass a few weeks ago to see if the memes were true. They weren't, it felt like garbage and not at all pleasurable

I recently got to work at an armorers assistant at my employer. Got to fingerfuck some 40mm launchers, a pile of rusty 870 Police Magnum's, some vintage 80's Ruger Redhawk's, and a couple dozen Glock 35's.

I once sprayed an inmate with some 1.33% gel OC when my coworker faked that the inmate had spit in his face. Inmate had thrown a cup of piss in another coworkers face earlier. Good times.

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Am I?

lmao that isn't how it works, but good for you for trying something new

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When I was a wee lad, around 5 years old, I saw Bill Clinton morph into a lizard while he was giving one of his final addresses
I have no idea what the fuck it meant but I’m vehemently against all those meme conspiracies with muh lizard people and shit
>I don’t believe any of that shit
>but I know what I saw

>your favorite Jow Forums related experience or memory

Not really a singular instance but all the time me and my dad spend bonding over gun related shit.

>your biggest kept secret to date
Raging lolicon

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Ricocheting birdshot into my face 2 times in a row

probably full on homo

>its literally impossible to be gay if a girl does it
There are people that believe this.

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>everytime I shoot, it is memorable
boring, I know

>definitely attracted to females, however first sexual experience was with a crossdresser and few things since have been as intense as rubbing dicks with another man and making him cum via anal
>exclusively into girl and girly dudes, am probably polyamorous but can't break it to the gf

It would be awesome if I could ge tthe gf on board with a threesome, alas it is incredibly hard to find feminine, passable, and sane trannies

Well this is Jow Forums so I doubt I'll be to out of line with my secret:
I crossdress on the low and have dragon dildos

Same

buying my first gun. But it was a broken POS and the clerk and I got into a screaming match when I tired to return it. You live and learn I guess

23 your old virgin. Had my first kiss this summer and my first intimate moment with a girl. I was so nervous I couldnt get it up, so I told her I was a virgin and she spent the hole time gawking at me not understanding how that can happen to somebody my age. Made me feel like a real jackass, and then later told me to stop asking about sex and to just go for it without talking to her first. She ended up sleeping with other guys but wanted to keep me around for movie nights and I stopped talking to her. Im a fucking /r98k/ stereotype IRL and very much considering hiring an escourt

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>She ended up sleeping with other guys but wanted to keep me around for movie nights

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>Sea Jow Forumsadets when I was in high school, fucking around onnaCGbase with my friends (cadets was Jow Forums as fuck if anybody else did it)
>When I was 17 years old I almost fucked a girl in the back of my car but she was so small (5'3 iirc) and I was only barely above average (6.1") and basically, long story short, dick didn't fit
>Still tell people I fucked even though I barely got the tip in before she got too uncomfortable and wanted to stop
>One of the most embarrassing moments of my life, just tell people I got laid for convenience sake
L-later virgins

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I think you should leave her completely. I doubt that she will give you anything more than begrudging pity sex, and I doubt she would be more than a fair-weather "friend". But, it's your choice.

Also:
>I got to shoot full-auto guns once
>My Dad thinks I'm not a virgin

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That isn't my darkest secret, but I think he would find it surprising, and I find that funny.

>Getting sexual joy from being repeatedly penetrated by a phallic device used to act as a prosthetic dick isn't gay because the actuation of the assfucking is a female
Mental gymnastics

Some random recruit crashed a leonidas APC into a brick building and cracked open the skull of the instructor. The hatch was open so bricks fell in

I bet you're one of those faggots that goes on Jow Forums to ruin musclegirl and wheyfu threads, aren't you?

Found the faggot.

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Is getting a finger in the butthole while getting a blowjob gay?

That's the /gay/tway.

The finger acts as a phallus, penetrating you from the rear
You tell me

>muscle'girl'
Closeted homosexuality in its finest

gay requires two or more same sex
>Male+Female=gay

The only faggots are the ones spamming and getting off to that shit, they should at least change the filenames before shoving their faggy shit in our faces

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More or less this. Men are supposed to be muscular, not women- it's a masculine trait. You're probably so deep in the closet that you don't even know you're a homer sexual.

>calling someone closeted when you like men and manly features but deny it by putting it on dog faced 'women' who aren't even biological females anymore because of all the hormones and or testosterone supplements they've been taking making them useless for breeding
>Calling someone else closeted
>Literal NO U

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G a y
a
y

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>Jow Forums level reading comprehension
Don't you have an election to go lose for us? Because you faggots sure did drop the ball this time around.

>complains about pol
>tries to bring up strawman upon strawman to deny his homosexuality
>getting this angry
Why are you trying to change the subject, faggot?
You're still a homosexual in denial and you can dodge the subject all you want... You like men

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>you faggots
Aaaand you just outed yourself as a antigun redditor, next time you cut yourself on that edge take a nice long bath

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Do you install them so the gays get /zapped/?

Going shooting with my dad for the first time

>i got a fellow gun owner swatted and his guns taken away because he hwas being a complete dick and sent me murder threats

I regret nothing

Describe murder threats, more context?

you are a smart fella

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I am do not get. explain. Please

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Are you... literally me? Wtf. [spoilers]except I still have my virginity[/dontworkonk]

I think he is implying that he claims to be an electrician so he can get payed to to the simplest task an electrician can do, which is replacing a light switch.

They were rather jokingly, but the police didn"t see it that way

He never found out who sent the cops oj his ass

>That one time we all got in a skype call and some freak shoved a mortar round up his ass

>I have revenge fantasy about my whore of an ex

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>Rather jokingly
>Calling SWAT over "jokingly"
>Not regretting it
user, I...
>Never found out
Why would you bully a tard, user?

He was a dick

Meh, good enough.

>tfw 6'5"
>regularly date girls under 5'5"
>body is proportional
>only one girl couldn't hang, the rest were size queens

user my friend, you just have to find the right thot.

For the thread, my most Jow Forums moment was my first 2 gun competition, finished 9th in open class. It was a fun time.

My secret is that I fuck twinks and traps on the regular as well as tinder thots and I am Jow Forums levels of sexually confused.

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>wake up in the tent at 2 am
>its warm and comfy, stove is glowing red and the air flow is humming
>find my trousers and jacket, boots, crawl outside
>snow on the ground, its cold but no wind at all, pitch black
>its overcast but I could see stream of lights above the clouds approach from south and pass above us. Seconds later huge noise, like a train on the sky. They're gone as quick as they came in mere seconds
>about 20 seconds later, I see the horizon flash a couple of times
>goddamn aint rocket artillery awesome
>I take a leak, crawl back in the tent and fall asleep again in seconds

My grandpa used to have an artillery shell in his living room which he used as an ashtray. The story goes that one day My uncle (a veteran) visited My grandpa and almost shat himself when he saw My grandpa putting out his cigar on a fucking live artillery round.
My uncle took the round and fired it in a military range or something and then returned the shell to My grandpa.
To this day we still don't know where the fuck did he get that from, nor why he was using it as an ashtray. But still, it was a good fucking ashtray.

I've had the swat team raid my home by accident before. I was out getting groceries and they were doing a raid on someone they suspected of making meth. Needless to say I was confused as fuck and was only reimbursed for my front door after or so months. I left a playboy out on my bed, it was gone after the raid. Fucking perverts stealing my magazines

>Thst time I tried to ambush some faggot near my nieces window with SKS
>that time I touched titty in a cave on a rainy day with a 8/10 as we made out next to my sks

Nice

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Lost two dogs too. They were missing for motnhs Turns out one of them broke one leg and the other one stayed with her taking care of her. Maybe the same happend to your dad's.

>everyone I don’t like is Jow Forums
No you’re just a faggot. Go back

Riding a Huey in the AZ desert doing compound raids.

I suffer from the imposter syndrome and feel like a closeted retard.

Red fern grows

>>Still tell people I fucked even though I barely got the tip in before she got too uncomfortable and wanted to stop
>>One of the most embarrassing moments of my life, just tell people I got laid for convenience sake

I've never understood guys on Jow Forums saying stuff like this. Like, all the posts "I hate having to tell everyone I meet I'm a virgin." Who the fuck are you always needing to talk about your sexual experiences with? This stuff doesn't come up in normal conversation unless it's a bunch of young dudes getting drunk together and even then you're not obligated to talk. The only time it means anything is after you've been dating a chick for a while and you're trying to learn more private about each other. But at that point you should have fucked her enough it doesn't matter.

I didn't talk about my sex life before I started dating, and I don't talk about it now.

I accidentally leaked strategic airforce information to this Chinese girl I was chatting with on an online dating site

I figured something was fucky when I reverse image searched the photos she’s been sending me only to have them show up as some famous Chinese online model

Hahahahaha a fucking subhuman lefty on /k. We dont care about the opinions of "people" who want to take away our gun rights

Use lube my dude. My dick is 7 inches erect and I could not fit it in my wife when we had sex for the first time (she's 4'10", I'm 5'9", we were both virgins). She had to get some advice from her older sister, who got her some lube. All we had at the time was stupid internet knowledge. Be sure to get it all over your dick and onto her pussy lips. You really can't use too much. Hopefully you get another chance in the future.

do you treat the boys right or are you the kind of guy who goes back to "fuck off i'm straight" after you nut

Was at a range taking turns on a us marshal's full retard mak 10 when a shot ricocheted off a steel silhouette and hit my stepdad in the dick. Good times.

I have been starved for physical affection my entire life and exibit signs of ptsd which is worrying considering I ship out in July.

>Accidentally
Fucking boot.

I want your life

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Shooting Garands and M1 Carbines my dad fixed up out back with my deaf (now dead) cat sitting right beside me
I used to masturbate in really risky places like port-a-potties and in classrooms after school.

>mfw 6’3”
>Wear boots everywhere that boost me to 6’5”
>shortest girl I dated/fucked was 4’11”

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>having sexual relations with a female is gay
Only possible way it's even remotely homosexual is if you're imagining it's a dude behind you.

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I can't shoot a rifle for shit because I'm cross eye dominant.

>Larping with my brother in the pasture as secret agents infiltrating the barn. Airsoft guns and surplus camo.
It was so innocent. Moved away from the farm. Everyday when I walk to work I miss that farm. I miss those pastures and woods. Shot so many bb guns and my marlin 60.
I miss my brother and all the stupid shit we did.

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>Sea cadets
CAP FOR LIFE MOTHERFUCKER

when I sign up for the army this spring its more then likely going to create a huge rift between myself and my family but if I dont start making moves to get my life together I might genuinely kill myself

My grandma died last week, shes had dementia for about a year so 24 hours later (possibly sooner) I was competency over it and didnt feel grief at all. In fact I was excited that I might get some inheritance money so I could buy a new gun, and was low key disappointed that she didnt have any. That makes me feel like garbage though

been debating about going to a BDSM club fr months but im too shy and broke right now. I probably will one day though

I have half a dozen screenplays Im working on that are all Jow Forums levels of autistic. Im hoping to sell them one day and see threads about it on Jow Forums saying "SEE, THIS MOVIE KNEW HOW TO PORTRAY GUNS" and it would mean more to mean then any award or anything

I've given up on trying any relationship for the foreseeable future. Ive never had gf and I used to think I need one to be normal but once I focused on myself and being content alone I got much happier. I dont know if that means im slipping into a hermit lifestyle and that scares me

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Piss off batfag

>favorite memory was when I first went shooting with my BSA Troop for our shotgun merit badge. missed just about every shot and had a massive bruise on my bicep from improperly shouldering it.
>massive bonfire at the end of all the shooting using the pallets that were used as platforms. got so big we had to stand a good 20 to 30 ft back because of how hot it got

>Biggest secret
constantly think of myself in fantasy lands and just unfucking situations with skills I don't have

Dude no LARP I'm 6'6'' and fucked a 4'11'' girl it'll fit no problem

We share a secret my friend. In you I can trust.

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Me too user I know the feel
I got out of the Army 4 years ago and now im going back
Im not even going to tell my family about my decision to go back until the day of
Sometimes up grow apart
sometimes you grow up and they don't

> Shot a hole in the ceiling with a flare gun

>recovering porn addict

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First time shooting a .357 Mag

I am probably a pretty normal, pretty boring loser

Maybe it depends on the race. I'm only 5'8 and fucked a virgin Chaldean from Iraq(in the states) and she was only 5'5 and my dick is literally average sized and I reached the backstop no issues.

> Got to shoot a full auto MP5SD in my backyard, shit was cash.

> I'm in love with my ex but can't win her back and I'm afraid I will die alone since all my friends left and I'm to nervous to talk to other people.

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My friend, my uncle, and my dad brought one of those reactive ball targets to a private range and blasted it around. Then we went down to the cowboy action range and I tried point shooting steel with my I was trapped in an emotionally abusive, toxic, on-again-off-again relationship for two and a half years with the incredibly emotionally unstable girl I lost my virginity to until she finally drove me so far up the wall that I crossed a line and she dumped me. Now she's with some other guy that she treats infinitely better than she ever treated me. I'm still trapped in a cycle where she tells me she wants to get back together, but then backs out of it. I think I'm addicted to the drama, and I'm terrified that I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

There's a bit of backstory to explain it but long story short after becoming popular in grade 6 by manipulating others I realized that I hated everyone even when they were nice to me because they were horrible people either way, so I decided to go full school shooter but since I was a smart kid and not a spastic reactionary I started off by learning how to kill and make weapons.
The first weapon I made was a shuriken I made by ripping out the metal spine of my binders, folding them together, and breaking them such that they had sharp points and edges and after testing it on porkchops at home I found that it was horrifyingly effective when I hit the porkchop and my aim was pretty good.
Since I became popular by manipulating people so effectively I decided to see how far I could take it before killing everyone and at one point groped the ass of the hottest girl in my class, in the middle of class, because I had already come up with a story to destroy her credibility with a clever mix of truth and lies but I made a fatal mistake.
I bragged about grabbing her ass to my best friend at recess and he decided it would be a great prank to run to the classroom where half the class was staying inside because of the weather and tell everyone. I ran after him, panicking that my life would be over if the story spread and made up my mind that killing him was better than letting him tell everyone and so, when I chased him back to the class I tried to grab him but he pulled desks between us to slow me down while he began to speak, I quickly grabbed my shuriken from my desk and threw it straight for his throat, but he ducked out of the way faster than I thought he was capable of while still laughing oblivious to the fact that I tried, and almost succeeded to kill him as my shuriken chipped the chalkboard where his throat was and he finished revealing my secret.
After that happened I hid the fact that I tried to kill him and kept that secret since.
pretty good prank though

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