What if Jow Forums Became a federal agency?

What would a federal agency be like if it was created by kommandos? What would it enforce? standard issue gun?

Attached: Maritime-Photo.jpg (1000x750, 1.19M)

Alcohol, Traps and Fireams

ok. what type of facility do you operate out of? what does it look like? high rise building full of traps in business attire or an airbase where a group of highly trained and highly gender ambiguous operators are ready to deploy at a moments notice?

we'd get no government funding

A decrepit Polaris launch bunker with barrels of Cosmoline and crates of steelcase liberally strewn throughout

Wow what could have been a cool thread ruined by a cocksucking faggot trying to be funny.
I remember my first shitpost.

We would basically be the most hypocritical secret police
Any degenerate activity you can think of we will stop only to do it back in the offices, and any illegal substance would be confiscated for our recreation later.
We wouldn't shoot dogs though, thats a no no.
Our loadouts would vary from being so decked out that we might as well be SEAL team 6 with the high end equipment we have to literally fucking nothing to include the noguns posters, maybe just a knife
There is absolutely no physical or mental standard
We'd be constantly on the news for excessive violence.

Attached: fuckoff.gif (379x216, 1.98M)

>what could have been a cool thread
my ass

Attached: 1538489476977.jpg (518x500, 77K)

Also a lot of nugget niggers in soviet-era milsurp and people getting in fights over the whole 9mm vs .45ACP debate.

I'd like to raid people's houses we know don't have guns. Partially because that might convince them feds suck dick. Partially because then we could cuff em and then just go 'haha gotcha' then put em on the bed and sniff their farts haha just kidding on that second part
but could you imagine what that'd be like
the smell I mean
It'd be so weird and funny to do
Haha that'd be really crazy

we'd be like the batf, only instead of shooting your dog for having guns and shit that's cool, we'd raid your house and just bully the shit out of those suspected of not having enough cool shit, or some bubba heresy like a bullpup converted m1a

standard issue guns would obv be deagle sidearms and famas rifles

No standard issue, just a list of acceptable... That would probably include a lot of obscure milsurp shit.

We'd be like the ATF except instead of enforcing gun laws we'd do nothing but investigate firearms theft and smuggling. Any guns that we confiscate go into the "company locker" and can be used on the range at any time for "training". We'd also probably coordinate with DoE and other agencies to help them enforce regulations on WMDs and the FBI for explosives and guns that they specifically believe might be used in terrorist activity. Also we'd work with the coastguard to deal with terrorism on the high seas because lol boating accidents

Since we're all technically LEO now the first thing I'd do is get the agency into that program that lets people carry guns on planes, too.

Also, give everyone the choice to be issued one full auto SMG/Compact carbine of their choosing on the government dime that they can keep when they retire. Just has to be small enough to CC or at least carry slung under a jacket or in a bag or something.

>YFW Jow Forums posters can carry machineguns in federal courthouses, schools, airplanes, and even day cares and private property with no legal restrictions

Oh yeah, motherbase would be but we'd have a training facility on an oil rig where we practice nothing but maritime interventions on speed boats/cruise ships.

imagine the ATF but as corrupt as Jow Forums thinks the atf would be thats about how Jow Forums would be as a federal agency.

>what could have been a cool thread
>What would a federal agency be like if it was created by kommandos?
Shut the fuck up OP, this is a gay thread and you deserved only shitpost replies

>What would it enforce? standard issue gun?
Nothing.

>Jow Forums
>federal
pick one

I like you man lets sniff farts together
or I mean no that would be gay and wierd

I like this idea. A reverse BATF.
>ATF raids your house and shoots your dog for having cool shit
>Jow ForumsTF raids your house and shoots your dog for NOT having cool shit

Prolly a lot like Payback Enterprises....

Attached: payback enterprises sticker.png (602x743, 101K)

WE ARE OF HEARING YOU DO NOT HAVE RIFLE OF THREE LINES
YOU RECIEVE BEATING NOW YES? RIFLE WILL BE ISSUED AFTERWORDS
traps are more Jow Forums related than you

>Jow ForumsTF kills no doggos, only people
Ftfy

>Jow ForumsTF raids your house and shoots your dog
absolutely haram

Attached: 1539161366438.png (626x626, 379K)

Attached: 1519162369022.gif (300x186, 1007K)

>we sell death
Straight to the point, huh

i thought it would be more like an agency going after state governments depriving people of their second amendment rights.

That'd be some good shit too

The Firearms Protection Agency

We would investigate all forms of firearms abuse, and terminate offenders with extreme prejudice. It would have several branches, each specializing in certain types of firearms.

The Department of Military Surplus would focus on military weapons made between 1898 and 1970. Standard issue weapon would be any weapon in the same sphere. Primary weapon and sidearm must be from the same nation, and period appropriate. The uniform would be the appropriate period military uniform for their chosen weapon. There would also be a Department of ARs, absolutely dripping in multicam, and what ever overpriced tacticool garbage they can lay their hands on. A Department of AKs, clad in gorkas, and with a minimum required blood alcohol level of .15. There would be the Muzzle Loader Department, Cowboy Department, Department of the 80 (Bren Tens, FALs, MAC-10s, white suits, rad sunglasses), Department of the 90s (MP5s. MP5s everywhere. Uniforms can be any color, as long as its tactical black), and as many specialized departments as there needs to be to make sure that every conceivable type of firearm is represented.

cont.

We would scour the nation in search of those who abuse, neglect, or otherwise harm firearms and punish them.

Bubba fuck a Mosin? A squad of mish-mashed reenactors will will kick in your door, and fire and maneuver your ass into kingdom come.

Pull a "#oneless" on a poor, defenseless modern sporting rifle that dindu nuffin? A fireteam of fat neck beards, wearing more gear than the who National Guard, carrying rifles more expensive than your car will tactically breach your bathroom door while you're shitting and OPERATE so hard your guts will fill the toilet bowl.

Violate the principal of "Nyet! Rifle is fine." and hang some tapco bullshit off of a WASR? A dozen, stumbling retards with fake Russian accents clutching mostly rusted AKs will smash down your living room wall with a T-34, kill you, the "hostages" (if there are no suitable hostages, they'll kill your neighbors) and then implode every house on your block.

The most elite unit (spoken of only in hushed whispers) is the Giggle Switch Task Force. If you dare to commit the most egregious crime of defacing a fully automatic firearm, one night, a blacked out Deuce-and-a-half will pull up outside your house. The armored panels will fall away to reveal all manner of barking death: water cooled belt feds, drum fed Tommy Guns, a quad fifty, and that one dude who really just has an AR with a bump stock, but no one wants to be rude and call him out. Then your house will disappear in a hail of tracer fire, and guttural war cries.

There will be a strict no shooting dogs policy however.

We'd probably all fight each other. It would be like the shootout at the end of Wind River only both sides would be us.

>cool thread
>ebig fred ruineddddddddddddddd
yeah dude, no. But it will be pretty funny if you have a meltdown.

>Jow Forums as a federal agency
20 terrorists, 50 hostages, 70 body bags: Mission Accomplished

Attached: 20181109_075816.jpg (1068x720, 416K)