What do you do? How safe are you?

What do you do? How safe are you?

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Take of my underwear and grab my Wasr

I check my cameras so I don't shoot my mom in the face.

I live in a single story house

>walk to the corner of my room
>plate carrier with 5 mags is carefully suspended from the ceiling
>pull a string
>plate carrier falls onto my awaiting body
>put on my kevlar helmet
>grab my raifu
>carefully clear everyroom in my house
>encounter buglar
>blind him with my 3000 lumen flashlight
>shoot him
>drag his corps to the bathtub
>mop the floor with bleach
>tear up floor boards and clean the blood underneath
>run out to garage and get 40lbs pound of lime
>pour lime over body
>air out smell with industrial fans
>wait until body is disolved and washed down the drain
>snake the drain for any human materials that could be used as evidence
>clean drain with bleach
>collect the bones
>grind into a fine powder
>dump powder into river under the guise of spreading my dogs ashes
>masturbate to the mental image of me killing some scumbag

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check underneath the foundation bro

There was CAG in WW2?

Put on my rape shoes

I'm in same situation.
>currently grabbing pickax

Check cloud cams set up anywhere, oh look it’s the cat

They were the original operators

I put on my robe and wizard hat

>grab raifu
>secure waifu
>shoot the nigger

>get P250
>chamber round
>silently move through house with the lights off
>IFF and then shoot if I'm not sure

Single story home, but I grab the 590a1 with 00 and hope it's nothing.

The good thing about being home is that in the dark you still should know where everything is.

> Grab AR, chamber round
> Clear second floor first, check windows to see if any cars or movement outside
> Proceed downstairs carefully, clear first floor
> Clear garage
> Turn on backyard lights, clear backyard
I live in a corner house so I'd say I have pretty good visibility all around

>hear noise downstairs
>mfw I'm downstairs

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>grab raifu
>begin clearing house
>realize it's just the house settling
>look like even more of a dumbass in front of family

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>jump out of bed startling my dogs
>frantically reach for my ak
>start blind firing all over the room
>mag dump into walls, some behind me out the window
>start screaming the national anthem
>all this while butt nekkid

>Accidentally ATF'ing your whole dogs.

This.

You can pick up cheap webcams for like $25 a pop now with decent image quality. I got 9 of them in and around my house. Bump in the night? Pull up the cameras.

Everyone here talks on and on about personal safety but no one ever talks about throwing up some shitty cameras for some basic situational awareness.

who goes there?

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>walk downstairs
>see this
>what do?

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Teddy want a delegate?

>ni(ce people)ggers

kek

>putting cameras all over your house
>letting the NSA stalk you even in your home

not me

Give him the delegates (for TX) and then tell him to support the president.

Nice try OP

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>I live in a single story house
Nah, man. The earth is your basement, you got some spoopy skeletons down there.

>wearing underwear
>in your own house
fucking garmentcuck

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>he has his underwear on at home
it's honestly a good idea since this way the cops can't mistake you for having a concealed weapon when they show up after you defend yourself.

I listen to three to five cats running around on the bottom floor slamming into walls before one or two come upstairs to sleep on my head.

Feels comfy, man.

Tell my wife's son to go investigate

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>NSA
>not installing closed circuit surveillance
You're not gonna make it.

Somebody post that screencap of user telling a story of how he put on his fill plate armour and broke an arm of a nigger trying to steal his TV at night, and the nigger than said to the police he was attacked by Lancelot or whatever the fuck it was, I don't remember by now.

Found it.

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If I weren't allowed to own guns, or lived in a place that didn't allow them, i'd look into a ballistic shield + melee combo for home defense.

This but with my screen door that doesn't like to stay shut and creak so I think someone's trying to open the door.

>He leaves his AR unchambered
Yikes

This is your brain on Toxoplasmosis

hand the nice man a delegate for his troubles of getting rid of the afro-german that ran to fast into a bullet

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This, but that's not what the original user said. He said webcams, which is a stupid idea.

This made me kek

>Not actually having a bathroom gun
What's wrong with you

underrated

smell her butthole for the last time.

>look for this supposedly pretty blonde woman who lives here so I can smack that ass while she is hogtied
>Pretty safe cuz I brought my 9mil with me

The best tactic for a home invasion is to pick a blind spot in your house/room and wait for them to come to you. This gives you every advantage over the unknown threat. The second they come into view and you determine they are a threat you can unload onto them while blinding them with a high lumen gun light

what is this photo is that a monster pirate?

This is the real answer.

Draw my cc, clear the second floor, and then wait by the door. I live on the second floor of an apartment. Somebody breaks in downstairs, idgaf until they start climbing stairs

You can do it if you really want.

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>you’ve got one too?
holy Jesus. Thats a real lad you got there, fuck i wish i had friends like this

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I never chill in my house without having a pistol nearby so I grab my pistol

looks like a little rape is about to go down

>Late Winter last year
>be inna North so it's DARK DARK
>playin vidya when I see light pass over my window
>is_it_neighbors.wmv
>light passes over again
>get up and crack shades
>see one beat up camry 3 possibles inside
>one has a big workshop flashlight
>flashfag gets out and shines it at my house again, sees me
>muh shit tier opsec
>tell roommate
>sprints to his room and grabs his Mossberg 500 and home defense fireworks
>no stock
>loaded for bear (bc inna North)
>flashguy starts shining light on other houses
>his pals start moving around his car
>light shuts off
>can't see shit
>ITS DARK AS FUCK
>hear car door open and close
>hear lighter
>pzzzsSHHHHHH

>roommate light firework
>throws it into cul de sac
>flash guy is near garage of house across the street
>trips light sensor
>oh fuck hes holdin something
>

>MFW its a plastic bag
>MFW hes a carry out driver
>MFW firework goes whum-BOOM

>sound scares lightman
>slips on the Affirmative Action ice
>my car alarm goes off
>guy slip and slides his way back to his car
>his friends are going crazy
>they speed off into the night

Any other Jow Forumsommandoes on neighborhood watch?

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I thought everyone had a bathroom gun.

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clearly i need to step up my home defense

>New neighbor is a wigger
>Constantly invites undesirables to his home to listen to horrendously bad mumble rap and partake in the consumption of spirits and narcotics
>Mostly blacks and filipinos
>Multiple complaints filed on them for playing their music so late
>On a few occasions someone popped off a few rounds in the backyard
>They never mess with anyone in the neighborhood, but I'm awaiting the day they snort enough Bolivian marching powder and get brave enough to attempt a smash and grab
>I have cameras set up and a medium-sized arsenal ready for such a day
>Personal believer in castle doctrine self-defense rape

It's just a waiting game now.

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You don't fiddle with a handgun while you poop? What do you not own any handguns? Shiggy

nogunz boyo here

i believe it's the coast guard circa WWII

trips don't lie

Gtfo reddit greentext faggot

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You'll be murdered on the toilet my dude. Better get strapped.

Tell him I campaigned for him and that I’m happy he won

damn don't jinx me user

>live in bungalow
I take off my shirt, grab my 1911, and become a tunnel rat

I RUN UP THE STAIRS SCREAMING AND RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

holy shit user, is that the old VOIN?

>castle doctrine self-defense rape

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Grab the 20 mike mike

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>Strip clothes
>Rack AK

It's gonna be a fun night!

>99% of my guns are in basement
>Only gun on me is a pocket .25

Hope he's not on.....

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>live inna single story home
>there is no downstairs
>that can mean only one thing
>don gas mask, helmet, AK, and SADF chestrig
>remove pants
>shove white trash fridge on my porch out of the way of the crawlspace
I'm coming for you molemen, you never should have returned to the surface.

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

Roll for initiative.

tbhfam I leave my wasr unchambered and a chambered glock under some stuff on my desk

if the situation requires 18 rounds I think I'll have time to chamber it

is that a chekov's gun?

gib vintage wonder9

I keep a rifle by the bed, mag loaded, nothing in the chamber. I check all entrances before I go to bed. Look out my windows to survey my property. I have had people randomly pull into my driveway. Only had to deal with people breakinng into my garage once.

Underrated

what cameras should I buy to put on the outside of my house, user?

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Considering four other people live here and have odd schedules I do what I always do, step out and check. If something's not right there are weapons squirreled away everywhere in this place and I've practiced being a ninja around here because "appearing" behind people scaring the shit out of them is fun.

At any given time I've got a firearm and loaded mag or a melee weapon of some sort within easy reach.

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I live in a dorm room next to a busy street, I'd be worried if at any point there wasn't a commotion.

checked

checked insane repeating digits and kek'd the hardest in a long time.
>Chesnokov best boy

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