So Jow Forums why didn’t you join the military?

Faaaag

>have lethal peanut allergy
Dreams crushed when I found out I was ineligible. Either way it’s cool now, trying to get into SWAT

I’m good at making and fixing things, and I make more in the private industry. Plus while I like shooting, I don’t like being shot at.

>trying to get into SWAT
get fucked pig

No you're not, most fixing things involves taking out something old and popping something in now. You're just an overgrown kellog eating lego assembler.

>be all bout it
>twin towers 2:electric boogaloo happens
>spend next 6 years following the war closely
>talk to guys that have served
>nam, Korea and gulf vets
>only a few REALLY dug it
>most either regret it or didn't reintegrate well
>eventually become disenfranchised with the way the mil and US gov work
>play with the idea of soaking up bennies and GI bill for a few years
>pursue other things instead

I never got to be a cool guy, but the amount a guys I ran into that really loved the job while ALSO having their shit together was a real small pool. I've met too many guys with rose tinted glasses for the 4 years that they mostly did nothing become the highlight of the life they now waste.

Didn't really know what I wanted to do but knew I wanted to travel. So I took the asvab at school to get a free day out of class.
>Score 95 without trying
>Instructor honestly impressed because everyone else was 70s
>Marines call me up
>Go and talk to them offer, me a lot if I sign
>They have some of my friends that signed up talk to me about it
Problem is my parents and I dont agree, they want me to go Officer and I just want to enlist.
>Figure I'd wait to see where life takes me, keeping it as a backup
>Life took me to a shattered collar bone.
>Fixed with a plate and 7 titanium screws
Nerve damage from the surgery means I couldnt carry a backpack, let alone a rucksack.
Ended up working construction with my uncles and now I'm a janitor.
If I could go back, I'd sign up for the Airforce.

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I did.

I got good, enjoyed it, then I was medically discharged 8 years in.

Send me back to FORSCOM or else.

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Jow Forums is not a Jack Booted Thug board. Please leave.

>wanting to die for ZOG

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My uncle who was a nam vet got called up for desert storm. They made him get a shot for nerve gas or some shit then lost the paperwork. He told them he had already had the shot but they forced him to get another-now his nerves are fucked.
That got me looking into the weird shit they’ve tested on soldiers like lab rats and dissuaded me.

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Yuck. Why do LE think this board is for them?

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You came to the right place.

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Oof. I know she meant well, but I'd be furious.

Eat an entire jar of Jif

I might go for the Navy or Coast Guard should shit not work out too well in a year or two. Got a 78 on the ASVAB so I’m good there.
Was that always there or is it just shopped on?

Ask me how I know you know nothing about the military academies.

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>was going to join air force or national guard by end of year if I didnt find a decent paying job
>got a decent paying job that i can work my way up and make 60-80k a year

and that was that. as much as i feel like im missing out on the "Jow Forums experience" by not enlisting, id rather just do military related shit on my own time without the commitment of 4 years of my life

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Was in NROTC, found out I had ADHD when I couldn’t handle classwork. Taking meds to get through college. Might take a look at trying to serve down the road.

I did join but I left afterwards when papa died of cancer.

The eyesight in my left eye was too bad. Told me to fuck off.

I wash dishes in a hotel instead.

>i wanted to be a soldier because it sounds badass but i'm a pussy: the thread

I got an associates from community college, and was applying for jobs. Couldn't get any of them, so i signed up for national guard, swore in about a month ago. I leave for basic training Jan 16, so wish me luck boys.

Currently in college ROTC, here's my story

>be me
>live in virginia
>get mad money to liberal arts college
>90% women, pussy city
>college has all girls ROTC unit, only one in the country
>talk to commandant of girl rotc unit, I can attend ROTC classes at nearby military institute with girls
>competing with whole institute corps of cadets, plus a hundred dykes that go to my school.

It's a great life, fellas. I get up at 6am, go to sleep at midnight every single night

Just remember: if you get caught masturbating and stop you just got caught but if you keep going he's gay.

Because its the worlds biggest social program for retards and the chronically inept, and I'm neither.

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If it was so easy you'd be making the money that I do.

>Was that always there or is it just shopped on?
Someone should shop an enormous black wang hanging out of the opening, but leave the white face.

Do you know where you are sonny?

Thanks Jow Forumsomrade

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>missing out on the "Jow Forums experience" by not enlisting,
Nothing more Jow Forums than having a normie job instead of serving, and spending all your money on milsurp and cheap chinese knockoff gear.

Medical discharge during boot and we were winding down after Iraq so waivers were scarce; I may of called one of my shipmates a nigger while fighting my case.

Tried to. Permanent medical dq.

I’m still salty about it.

I still might. Two years. I'm 25 now, if I can't figure out an exit strategy to my current stagnation by then I'll sign any paper they throw at me. I figure the Navy might want someone with an engineering physics degree. They might be the only ones if I'm honest.

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Blinded in my right eye by my step father

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Diagnosed celiac, fucking military won't take me into any branch.

allergies
>tfw dream from as young as I could remember was to be a tanker, or failing that an artillery man

Being in ROTC sounds gay as fuck. I'd rather just get out with a degree and fish for a commission then.

I'm an asthmatic.

I have flat feet

>bullied for deformity
>they injured the upper jaw, surgery redone
>taken out of elementary school
>home studied under "no child left behind" BS program
>high school done, but not "valid" for some reason
>deformity is pre-existing condition, among others
>cannot into military

Because I am Medically unfit for service.

I hope a nig shoots you in the face on your first day on the job.

Nice samepost fag, theirs nothing wrong with LEOs aside from the ones that are power hungry and unconstitutional which is rare outside of cucked states, I have multiple friends and family members ranging from constables to FBI/SWAT captains and all have said theyd never follow a law that was unconstitutional or that they felt was wrong

Bad back. I got hit two times by drunk drivers and my spine is all sorts of fucked up. I wanted to be a pilot so bad but couldn't ever pass a medical. Settled for civilian life being a loser flight instructor in a c152.

That's a great fast track to nuke officer, fucking do it

Because I'm smart enough to do literally any other job.

I'm too much of a rebellious spirit. I can turn it off to get a job done when it needs to be but I'd never make it through boot with some jackass constantly screaming at me.

Thyroid disorder, crushed my dreams when I got out of HS.
Then I did what every loser does, get high/drunk/fuck sluts.
Shit was cash but I never had any in my pocket.

Odds of me joining the Navy/puddle pirates seem to be increasing more as time goes on.

please get blasted statist

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The only reason I haven't done it is /meg/ has somewhat put me off anything in the nuke field and I've already got a somewhat decent paying albeit dreadful job as an industrial tech. I wish I could re-do those years in college, but now I have nothing but to make it work.

As others have been alluding, i hope someone shoves a PB&J in your face on your first day

I understand that some people are very patriotic and want to do good by their country, but
>selling away your rights to become the long arm of politics

Cuz I'm a retard with shit eyes and sunlight migraines.

Start running now and get your push up score higher. You'll thank me later.

That's what they all say. And then they end up getting fat or demotivated.

I would recommend ROTC. It helps pay for school and you won't get the last pick for job branches like OCS does. That or enlist.

Because I'm too fat to join

why?

do it

liked what, welding?

I don't know about the military academies tell me how.

Motherfucker, salads and a cheap ellyptical/bike combo off ebay. You can easily lose 1.5% of your weight a week.

Is 21 too old to join? What about being obese as fuck?

i don't fight for jews

Yes

>Is 21 too old to join?
Not at all!

>went to university, studied computer science
>got good grades, but not that good either
>dotcom bubble burst my senior year
>no jobs to be found
>wars are ramping up
>grades not good enough for OCS, guess I'll enlist, because I'll be damned if I'm unemployed
>Oorah! Marine infantry because I make snap decisions

On the plus side, when I got out, the economy improved and I got a job, but I'm retardedly behind the curve in terms of career development for my age.

>enlisted into infantry with a degree
dumbass

i know doctors are fuckasses, but couldn't they at least screw the screws in evenly?

>decent paying job
>work my way up and make 60-80k a year
what the fuck qualifies as decent to you?

I did, but I failed basic

>job as an industrial tech
that's fucking bullshit. if you have a bachelors degree and not associates then you should not be getting hired as a tech.

engineering job market is fucked.

>be me in 10th grade
>have first serious gf
>obviously assume we would be together 4eva
>she says she will leave if I join military
>pissed but I don't think about it for a while
>break up in early 12th grade
>at this point more focused on becoming a police officer
>fast forward to first semester of college
>hate it
>decide fuck this I wanna join the military
>get into a serious relationship and also permanently destroy my back at work
>bye bye military dreams

At this point though I'm content with what I do. I am a crime scene cleaner and the pay is great (when there's work) and I get to see interesting stuff.

do you at least get paid more than a normal janitor?

>implying i didnt
The Suck is bearable sometimes. Sometimes

>So Jow Forums why didn’t you join the military?
cuz i have an ABOVE average IQ

$40 bucks an hour if it is a non-biohazardous job such as feces, cleaning out hoarder's houses, carpet removal, etc.

$50 bucks an hour if it is biohazardous work, essentially anything with blood.

The work is stupid fucking easy and I would certainly say the pay is more than a janitor. I also get a base salary on top of my hourly just in case we don't get much work.

so you work for someone else and it's not your own business?

Yeah I work for someone else who btw literally says they want to sell the business to me in approx. 5 years. So if all works out I should be set big time.

just kill them and take over the business. you'll even be able to clean up the scene and get paid for it.

do you like pina coladas?

I've done the grunt game. I'll be goddamned if I get treated like a poolie again.

Nah I almost don't even wanna deal with owning the business desu. My hourly is fine to the point where I rather live like this stress free, than to make a bit more and be stressing out over a small business.

Wouldn't have interested me at all when I was a more appropriate age, now I'm 31 and even if technically young enough to join most services it'd feel like a total loser move.

I've always hated the government. I'm also really tall and a natural target in a crowd. When I was in high school the recruiters would call and eventually ask how tall I am. Then they would begin to tell me all the aircraft and vehicles that I would not fit in. Fuck all that shit.

I was going to, but my right eye is scarred up, so I assume I'm disqualified from a combat role. I can't even join the cops because I'm depressed. And in no-fun-allowed Australia recreational shooting is a crime. Ah, well. I'll just be an armchair general forever.

that’s what my bro did, he worked on subs for 20 years, got out and now fixes them in hawaii. makes cash too

"Social Promotions! They're not just for inner-city high schools anymore!"

>Try to enlist out of highschool, parents say no
>Instead waste a year at community college and another year and a half going to uni out of state for a worthless degree
>Realize I hate school and want to be a tanker
>Realize I'm an adult and I have control over my own future
>Drop out and start trying to get in shape so I can enlist

My lease is up by August, and after that I'll be living out my dreams.

>pretending they dont bend the tules and overlook shit to get what they want because they carry a badge
>implying only power hungry cops in "cucked states" do this