You get teliported back in time and the king asks your advice on how to defend against the vikings how do you do it?

Show the Vikings some images of sweden2019.
Done

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Two words: Greek Fire

Literally just outfit your local militias and town guards. The vikings were a fucking absolute joke, militarily, and got their shit pushed in any time they came across even a halfway regular army.
A few dudes armed with spears and longbows would be more than enough to convince a landing party to fuck off.

came here to post this

vikings got btfo'd by the irish
they're one of the most overblown memes in history, they were literal pirates targeting unarmed civilians who got kings to pay them in gold/land to fuck off. 'viking' is also not interchangeable with 'norse'

Every time they fought an actual battle they usually lost.
Their innovative tactics of rowing up river, raiding, and fucking off before anyone could respond makes them meme material but their actual fighting skill against actual opponents is shit-tier.
They did great when their opponents were disorganized or otherwise in a bad state (Carolingian civil wars, the fuck up that was Heptarchic England, sticking their dicks in Byzantium right after the Arabs and Bulgars got showed off) but when they didn't have an advantage like that they were always BTFO (Kicked out of Britain by Athelstan., kicked out of Ireland by Brian Boru, kicked out of Europe by... themselves after some of them got bribed by the Franks etc).
Legendary raiders but shitty armies, top tier for spreading genetic seed but terrible for actual war.

>also were the vikings ever beaten how did they get beat ?

Ask the Irish for advice. Their warriors at the time were every bit the insane savages the Vikings were.

>how did they get beat ?
Every which way.

This.

Not just the Irish
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Brunanburh
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Paris_(885–886)
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Clontarf

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>Implying I wouldn't side with norse ancestors

Were rare but still happened .

They weren't some miraculous fighting force. Youre just believing retarded feminist lies. They were glorified equipment carriers

Hire some Avars or a contingent of Magyar mercenary cavalry. The Vikings would be defenseless, sitting ducks. Lambs to the slaughter.

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Vikings lost plenty of times. They were great at raiding, especially when hitting soft targets. In open combat they almost always suffered from lack of numbers and lack of cavalry.

Now and then there were actual mistakes done but they were overall good at tactics at manoevring and minor sieges.

What is usually forgotten about the Vikings is that not only were they as much traders as raiders, but also they liked to integrate themselves into the areas they actually occupied - taking local wives in honorable fashion, working with the local administration and prefering taxes over plunder where possible. They did not try to turn the locals into vikings but instead became as like the locals as they could. Winning hearts and minds didn't start in Iraq.

Sea niggers are unironically better than steppe niggers.

This is why nordic women are masculine bimbos. They made them fight so the ones with male traits survived.

Until they step ashore, that is.

No that isnt true. Women didnt fight en masse in melee combat. this idea is absurd just on a biological level alone. Women only ever served at most as a last line of defense for a town not some kind of fighting force. I'm sick of this feminist propaganda

>256 Man phalanx in full Gothic plate armor

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Statistically Huns, Incas, Slavs and Franks all have better winrates, but primarily you should remember that Vikings don't hit their stride until about the 30 minute mark, and do quite poorly in sub-20 minute games. Press them quickly and watch them fold.

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Any tips? I've got around 25 hours now.

Which you don’t know how to make, they don’t know how to make, no one knew how to make it except the Greeks and they aren’t handing it out.

Food is the most important resource in the early game. Pick berries, cull sheep, then build farms. Bulk up your housing levels so that you can flood them with Militia. Time your Feudal Age so that you can quickly upgrade them to Men At Arms to get an edge. Be aware you'll probably lose a lot of guys attacking their Town Center.

It's made by the Greeks. Good chance it involves Olive Oil.

Thanks user. I mostly play with 30 minute truce right now but I'm hoping to convince my friends to turn that shit off so we can do rush games so I don't have to spend 3 hours playing.

lol'd fucking hard

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>the king
before I decide what advice to give, I need to know who's king am I suppose to fight for.
If it's the king of England, I'd give him bad advice so they get conquered.

Join the Vikings because I’m proud of my Norwegian heritage and because fuck the British

They actually aren't. At least steppe niggers had a real effect on world history.

Hence the word shield maiden and not SWORD maiden.

Yes which is why the show and op pic is bullshit and so is what most people think a shield maiden was or that it was prevalent. Its 99 percent propaganda just like retards who think Joan of arc was some great fighter

This just tell the king to set trading posts fir cheap goods and trade them poisoned food and and liquor then raid them when they are aslep, dead or drunk

Morale and disciplined troops.

Dig for oil in Dorset and have a bunch of potters make cheap small pots to fill with oil and attach a wick to. Or just set up a bunch of alcohol stills and make ethanol and do the same thing.

You won't be able to mobilize that type of infantry in time to fend off viking raids. There's a theory that advancements in cavalry were partly to do with mobility issues when it came to viking attacks.

It's simple, start trading slaves. If the Gaels had taken Viking ships and sailed them down to North Africa and traded the Vikings for gold the steady influx would have made them rich enough to arm and armor themselves for the next raid which would net them more slaves. After that you just find out where the Vikings are coming from and reverse colonize without interbreeding.

Olive oil filtered through a bouzouki stuffed with feta.

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Pajeets, AKA, rape dwarfs.

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Pikemen and archers I guess

That's just sad

>also were the vikings ever beaten how did they get beat ?
They were actually beaten pretty much any time they came up against any organised resistance.

They're extremely exagerated. Mostly they just raided small villages and monasteries, fighting farmers and monks.

And they weren't 6'5 ft massive warriors, they were little starving scandinavians trying to escape their gloomy shithole.

>they did have shield maidens

yes. Their job was to hand the warriors replacement shields during duels, when one was broken. Hence the name - shield maiden.

Obviously join the gaelic norse alliance and spread paganism and traditionalism

book title?

Join the vikings.

Vikings did use fire as a weapon though. Firearrows and in one known case using birds with embers tied to them, which led to the burning down of a town once.

>file name

Well played, user.

Just tell them they need to be more diverse, then send them a few million sand niggers.

False. It was by bribery of pagan lords which is how Catholicism was spread.

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I'd assassinate the Christian kings; restore Anglo-Saxon paganism; undo the doctrines that banned public literacy, public bathing, and herbalism; restore Anglo-Saxon Futhark or create a hybrid writing system of Latin and runic letters (modern Iceland has a similar concept); and better document the Nordic folklore and religious concepts.

Oh and the reference that the image makes is to the southern Mongols that annihilated old Baghdad. Also, better defenses against the Golden Horde could have been achieved without Catholicism since there would have been wider spread scientific knowledge and analysis without the doctrines limiting practical sciences to certain forms of astronomy to figure out the date of the Christian version of Easter/Ostara.

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Didn't even need to lift a sword to win.

That’s a lot of rape

Feudal system.

So then a 256 Man phalanx on horse back in full Gothic plate armor?

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Well, culturally I'd be inclined to agree.

The vikings kicked your asses because you disarmed when you went to church. Furthermore you had armies of pussies.

The only real reason why the vikings lost was because they got cocky and spread too thin when they came to pick up free lewt for the 100th time.

I'll take the Battle of Stamford Bridge for 500 pfennigs, Alex.

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In other words,
>I'm gonna pay you $100 to fuck off
Also
>set back 700 years
Um, no, sweaty. Christians dindu nuffin. Rome collapsed because they couldn't handle barbarians and the emperors were inbred. Christians were just there to pick up the pieces.
>banned heretical knowledge
No, books were restricted because before the printing press, they took a shitton of time and money to copy and preserve. You can't just leave precious knowledge out in the open where Varg and his apes can chimp out on it because ooga booga bix nood muh woryur ancesturs.
And finally. As said, pagan vikings assimilated into Christendom of their own accord. You got a problem with them converting? Take it up with your ancestors, not us.

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It may be bullshit, but it's still sexy to dream about
>ywn fight alongside a tall, beautiful valkyrie
>she will never be injured and fall in love with you when you bind up her wounded body and nurse her back to health
Feels bad man

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You're never going anywhere in life with that shit in your head.

The vikings would still fuck you up because they didn't care about the culture of their enemies and you came up with Varg shit instead of something actually useful

You do realize the vikings traded for goods not just from all over Europe but as far as Africa and the Middle East? Vikings had their local customs, art style and faiths but there is nothing to indicate they looked down on other cultures.

Not that I think arguments will matter. The 'truth' will whatever HBO says it is, because TV viewers don't go to museums or read history books. It's just one more bit of the past tarted up for current time apetites.

This

The bureaucracy necessary for a strong nation wasn't possible without the skills only the church possessed. The most powerful nations in Europe also happened to be the most Christian because of their understanding of this. The perennial problem for kings was using the church, without allowing it become a state within a state.

>dam the rivers/put defenses along the coast at low tide.
>post up on hills or along cliffs
>have some dudes with bonfire pyres set up as an early warning system
>Vikings show up
>fires go up
>use catapults to harass them as they try to navigate my coastal static defenses/try to tear down the dams
>get archers just into range
>shoot them
>See if they retreat
>nope?
>mounted bowmen get closer and start picking people off
>try to do everything from a distance for as long as possible
>Vikings finally get a formation on land
>cavalry charge from down the coast/riverside
>send in my infantry at the same time
>hope for the best.

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He's the same kind of moron who says stuff like the vatican should sell off all its art. Because they aren't all going to be bought up chinks and hajis who will immediately lock them away or just just straight up desecrate them.

Fun fact:

The reason the Vikings didn't settle in North America is because a king's daughter killed a viking family in a dispute over who got the better living quarters and food.

Her brother, the prince, was supposed to execute her for murder but instead made everyone pack up and go home.

This actually happened.

Tell him to invest in Google

>valkyrie
You do realize that valkyries only exist in Valhalla right? Female vikings are not valkyries.

Sir how about instead of having defenses monasteries in isolated coastal areas hording masses of wealth, Why don't we just build walls around them, use some of the money to train an adequate guard force and build a system of forts and castles on the coast to prevent raiders. Train a light cavalry force to act as back up and station them at 100 km intervals in numbers of 500-1000.

Or you know we can copy the Enemy or the Byzantines and figure out how to use these magical things called ships and run coastal patrols with them.

God Larpgans are pathethic.
Just because you both worship a fucking tree won't stop the Vikings to steal your shit, rape your wives and enslave your ass.
Also good luck figuring how to read without help from the Pope or the Byzantine emperor and their preists. Making pretty rocks is not the same as actually writing shit down.

I mean metaphorically

I've also noticed they tend to be Amerigoblins.

>Facebook

Typical christjew spamming nigger

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>comparing whites to niggers

Yep its definitely a Christfag amerijew alright

If it acts like a nigger, its a nigger. Doesn't matter what your skin color is.

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based fucking retard. Do the entire world a favor and neck yourself you retarded civnat goblin.

>Jewish cattle vehemently defends semitic religion and the unimportance of race

Shocking. Really shocking. Who couldve foreseen this?

Imagine being such a pathetic autist that your primary method of categorizing the world is by whether or not the people have the same skin color as you.

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Swing hard saint Boniface

Also agreed, ethnat cretins fail again to keep up the appearance of a valid and coherent ideology

Imagine being such a fucking idiot that you deny group bias and the most basic group preservation instincts. Youre literally fucking mentally ill. I'd recommend r*ddit instead of this site.

Of course a christian is literally mentally ill by basic evolutionary standards. Fun fact every other time throughout history you had to have war and or total subjugation to replace a peoples as much as youre getting replaced now. Meanwhile you sit in your little room worshipping your based jew and saying how race is meaningless.

Kill yourself you pathetic Jewish rat.

Ideology doesnt matter if you dont have racial cohesion you dumb fuck civnat cuckold.

Every time you idiots pretend to be intelligent is pure cringe.

youtu.be/f4Nn3VtFuLg
youtu.be/cllFK-hv3MA
youtu.be/ffv8V11lReU
youtu.be/JVrw-IiGgLY

Pro tip. If everyone else is playing the normal game of group preference and you aren't guess what happens? You get destroyed.

Vikings lost every conflict against professional armies. Nothing more than petty raiders that retards fantasize. Somalia pirates are more alpha than those söys

Truth isn't contingent upon your skin color. You'll always be a meek slave to your paranoia because you place your faith in what the world has determined for you. My identity isn't contingent upon that which I can't control, but that which I can. I place my faith beyond. My faith has set me free. Repent, sinner, ere judgement cometh.

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Yes it is you fucking idiot. People that arent anything like you aren't going to magically come to your opinions and ideology. You act like there is no difference in thought between different groups of people at all. Thats literally asinine and you're basically denying divergent evolution.

Non whites dont care about your stupid fucking ideals of individualism or whatever else you purport. Dumb faggot christian. You people ruined everything with your dumb fuck original sin. Who cares if we turn into a multicultural Brazil tier shithole at least theyre christian!

>We
Lmao you just outted yourself as an American. Dumb fucking Larper. I bet you don't even know where your ancestors are from. Some from Germany, some from England, some from Mexico.
You're so delusional and paranoid that you don't believe that truth exists. How pathetic.

Stop being a fucking mongoloid. You can be Christian while not wanting to suck nigger dick, and it's not just allowed but it's mandatory to defend your family and your nation.