Whips

By the time you have it out and at the ready you've been gifted with about a dozen new orifices.

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like a real Castelvania

it's about as effective as slapping the mugger with your micropenis

Gecko45 approved

Worse than ineffective.

Nigs nog
>the weapon of my ancestors
>hate crimes intensify
Should work

>gamer's choice

Holy shit that alone makes it worth using
>YOUR NAME IS TOBY!

>That dawning realisation I could make a fortune from my old worn out chainsaw chain by selling it to edgy teenagers

Guys, I've got just the thing for you, chain, but with teeth on! $400 RRP! But I'll let you guys walk away with a loop for $299.99!

Polish that thing, weld some cheap-ass edgy accessoire to it and you got a product

>Tfw no self defense nigger whipper 5000

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>GAMER'S CHOICE
holy shit lol

It’s a wallet chain then sell for like 10$ on wish

>I will never get to beat Russian pussies with a glorfied bike chain

Theme music for this thread

>youtube.com/watch?v=vi9hDrAVHa4

I'm going to make it as tacky as possible. When I get back, totally building the ultimate mall ninja money whipper 2000

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Chains can legitimately fuck someone up bad but you need a heavy one not some light bracelet bullshit. Get a motorcycle chain.

seriously though if you want a gimmick swingy thing then just make one of these.

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Don't forget:
>mugger approaches
>you manage to hit with the chain
>this only serves to anger the mugger enough for you to receive multiple stabs

>GAMER'S CHOICE
Image of stereotypical skeltal or lard tank swinging that shit made me kek slightly

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>mugger walks up to you
>stabs you
Why would mugger stab a person if he can just coerce his victim into giving money?
Looks like impractical shit if you ask me. If you want arm protection, wear cut-proof sleeves. If you want a melee weapon, get a knife or a club.
And learn how to run on long distances and fast.

And some of the cossack whips have stiletto blades in their handles.

>Why would mugger stab a person
because you slapped him with a chain

Uh just get a chain? Also dont ever try to whip someone trying to kill you. Just wrap your fist

>because you slapped him with a chain
The very first situation has no mentions of chain slap or any other action on the victim's side.

To be fair, any object is better than your fists in a fight. Don't get it if you don't need it, but if you have it, why not use it.

Idk about the legal repercussions tho

The repercussion of swinging a wallet chain around is a massive dick in the ass or a blade in the abdomen

the dragon head is kinda cool desu

A bicycle chain bracelet, how adorable.

>any object is better than your fists in a fight
This is not a true statement. The chain in the OP for instance would probably just fuck up your own hand if you hit someone like that. An actual weapon is generally better than fists, as are many tools, which I'm sure is what you actually meant but I felt like being autistic.

Ok, the actual answer

>Cause nogs gonna nog

Look at it this way, user.
Indiana Jones was an expert with a whip and an all around badass in general. He still carried a gun.

A rape-whistle would be cheaper and less embarrassing.

>To be fair, any object is better than your fists in a fight.
You've never been in a fight, have you? I'll take my chances unarmed then swing around a mall ninja chain gauntlet/bracelet thing.

Imagine all the grease and other nasty shit that gets tucked and comfy in all those joints.

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No one gets mugged in 2019.

Just have whole lot of heavy gay shit on your keys like i do

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That depends. Are you Geralt, taking on a Striga? youtu.be/Ntjv4jdwmCM?t=185

If you are paying 80$ rethink your life. You can get these on AliExpress and Wish for way less

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>>self defence whip bracelet that allows you to larp as johnny depp after he went off the deep end

Personally I'm up for this. Uncork the expensive wine and rugs and host the mainbrace brad pitt and the ghost of hunter S are coming around are we can shoot up pictures of George Clooney and our ex wives with Rhodesian fals

Does it simultaneously whip and nae-nae?

Do you know you can make a hip slung cock ring with a chain like this? I have one made of sliver. Its cool on the skin and quite erotic. Place chain under balls now cross it over cock and around the waist and fasten. Time for blondes in stockings and drugs. Whayey me hearties!

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>gamer’s choice

Practically speaking, whips are only useful for BDSM.

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Can you imagine the number of people who got that and injured themself with it?

Won't be effective against muggers but will be effective in pointing you out as an edge Lord everywhere you go

Thot patroller 1000

Trips of troof. Listen to this user, OP.

Lock Sock Knocker is the superior improvised swinging weapon. The name even rhymes.

>Fat autist gets one barely glancing half assed swing on Tyrone’s shoulder before getting knocked into next week
I can see that video already in my head. The loud jeers and monkey like eeking as you can audibly hear the blow landing.

DIE MONSTER

A bullwhip? Iffy. Whips are designed to cause pain, not death. In this a whip is actually good for self defense as most criminals don't like pain and would rather rob someone that isn't going to hurt them.

A self defense whip? Dude, just get a chain and something heavy to attach to it. Shouldn't cost more that $40

and I thought my watch tugged my hair badly, this thing would rip it all out

no wonder the dude shaved his arm to wear it

Goddammit Jow Forums
I love you.

We Prince of Person now

Just put a padlock on the end of a normal chain, it'll work far better than that piece of shit.

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>Havinh such a poorly made mask that you have to use the same hole for your eyes and nose.

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>$80
try about 2mil

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Not as effective as a ten dollar one.

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my friend had one of these pretty fun sword

>Prince of Person
New member of the Sense of Right Alliance?

0.5%
Also I'm pretty sure those exact things are like $10 on wish

I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

See

>gamers choice
One of my favorite aspects of modern internet humor, is how images can be set up like verbal jokes, with a build up and punch line that plays out as you scroll from the top to the bottom.

Muggers don't use knives unless they're tweakers or crackheads. Any pavement ape can afford a gun these days.

Does Google not recognize Persia. What in God's cock.
Prince of Persia. Prince of Persia.
Sure, why the hell not

lmao. thanks anons

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And Geralt still got fucked up in that fight.

smart thinking, then they can't steal the chain

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Do the mall-cop loadout of pepper spray + maglight. For knives, I wouldn't go shorter than a 4-D.

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I notice a lot of "prepper" sites selling shit like this. The Sportsmans Guide magazine is mall ninja tier.

How would you even use that without slashing the shit out of yoursef.

of course it has a dragon on it...

I hope you try it, get stabbed, and spill your guts as your contemplate your mistakes in life.

Op thank you. This post is the funniest shit I've read on all the boards I've lurked through on Jow Forums tonight. God I hope you were kidding and you weren't serious about that thing actually being a weapon...
Jow Forums is the best board on Jow Forums period, sometimes its the cringiest, sometimes it's the dumbest, but it's ALWAYS the best!

i just found something new to sit on

Any WEAPON is better than none.
A table leg? Sure
A length of tow chain? Swing away

A chain-mail bracelet? Not so much.

Is this copypasta?

user thank you. This post is the funniest shit I've read on all the boards I've lurked through on Jow Forums tonight. God I hope you were kidding and you weren't serious about that thing actually being a copypasta...
Jow Forums is the best board on Jow Forums period, sometimes its the cringiest, sometimes it's the dumbest, but it's ALWAYS the best!

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The straight edges are going to be a bitch though

But that only works with sticks

>Gamers Choice
Top laff

Try this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urumi
Pull that out, that'll teach her what happens when she doesn't open bob and vagen

>6-D Maglight
Does it have a fucking lantern bulb in it?

youtube.com/watch?v=vlayiIBH75o

I kind of want to get the 6D maglite and do an old school improvised mount to put it om my retro AR...
And have a light longer than the barrel of the rifle

I sure a tactical warrior such a as you will be fine with this ancient weapon

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It can if you want it to!
6D is 9v, sagging to 7-8V under load, while lanterns are 6v, so it'll be pretty bright at the cost of bulb life.

IIRC the "low" bulb from the lead-acid Pelican Big-D was a pretty good choice with 6 alkaline D cells. (The "high" bulb is of course brighter yet, but alkalines won't supply enough current -- need NiMH D cells.) Unfortunately, those were discontinued and getting hard to find by the time I quit messing with overdriven incandescents some years ago.

Depending how hot of a bulb you run, and how long you leave it on, you may end up warping the plastic reflector and/or lens, fortunately metal and glass replacements are available.

just get a triplex