/meg/ - Military Enlistment General

It's okay, these she-boons are going to go supply or some bullshit admin role

I want to become a recon marine but I’m not a great swimmer. Does anyone know a great way to get access to a pool?

WE WUZ OFFICERS N SHEIT!

But his penis has been to space, has yours?

Don't forget to take an open contract before going recon. It'll prove your loyalty to the Corps and give you a better shot at getting in

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Nice military you got there. Should we be a shame if something... happened to it.

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Yeah sounds good to me although the actual amount of money you'll get is likely less than you think. Getting the financials all figured out before you sign is a good idea.

Is there not a community pool at any of your local gyms? Come on user, use your brain for a sec-

>marine

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I'd give him shit for the punisher skull, buuuuut
>Doctor
>Astronaut
>not sure at his mos, it looks pew pew related
Yeah, fucker is def 100x more operator than I. I'll just shut the fuck up now.

Ahem gentlemen I have an announcement to make. It's 99 ASVAB user from last week. Took my DLAB and I passed with 116 and now I'm on my way to airborne linguist. Thanks for the tips lads, they really helped me prepare.

Fuck you
also, great job

Can you contract directly into airborne linguist school, or do you have to do the usual AF ranked list bs?

B-but user that'd be gay

From what I've been told, I'm going to airborne linguist tech school straight out of boot camp

Where you're going, a lot of shit is going to be "gay"

He was a navy seal for 7 years, then did NROTC and became a commissioned officer, then doctor, and will complete his NASA training as an astronaut this year. Wiki says he's got a bronze and silver star as well.

Quantum american!

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Please tell me Kim has kids because it'd be a shame for such a based bloodline to not continue

he has 2

yo any crayoneaters in here? where in the fuck in the hotel edition of the uniform order say shit about not being Authorized to have MCCUU's tailored? I'm a fucking lanklet bitch but anything long enough isn't small enough and I fucking despise having parachute trousers catch on chairs, doors, my motorcycle etc. I really need these fucking cammies to be slimmer around the knees. I have a fucking 17 inch wingspan from one side to another

What a fucking Chad. God damn.

yeah but even 2000eur a month for 5 years is gonna make me save whole lotta more than i would save wagecucking in my home country

I want to be a leet hacker. What branch/mos?

How do I make it on the rape list?

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>Research Jonny Kim

Holy shit, it doesn't even seem real. This guy has done everything.

lmao, rip buddy.
I got the chance to speak with an HM Master chief recently. She was very cool but looked older than dinosaur bones.

Who /justmaderank/ here? Can't wait to start receiving that delicious BAH.

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He's a korean. I bet his parents are disappointed that he's not also a lawyer on top of that.

mos 17xx usmc. it is the only explicitly offense cyber program in the dod. only cia proper, cia-trained sof, or contracted civs are authorized "forced entry" into enemy systems temporarily. only 17xx's are granted authority to operate at all times via electronic warfare fires officer. its also a brand new mos, and it is at the tactical level, so you will 99.9% of the time be attached to ground level units either in communications battalions, potentially sigint battalions, or even infantry battalions as direct support.

military life is gay tho don't enlist

t. shitbag

How does one become an artillery officer? Where I live, you join as an officer and go to the academy and stuff, and then before the end you're designated your specific officer role. They say it's based on your preferences but also how well you perform. So how would one go for joining the arty, other than setting it as your first preference?

Also I find it kinda dumb how they do that since you hold up your end of the deal, of going through the training and exceeding, but you're not guaranteed to get what you work for? I understand there are number limits and they need to fill the ranks and whatnot, but how much could that status change from starting training to graduation? Just wondering.

That actually sounds sorta cool. Seems like the Marines are putting a lot more effort into tactical-level electronic warfare than the Army is.

You have a wish list. The top 1 person in the class gets whatever they want. Every one else gets lipservice to their wishlist. They mix it up so that MOS's don't get IQ segregated. Otherwise all the smart officers would be intel and infantry, and all the dumb ones arty and ADA.

Impressive how far small penis can drag a man.

>But his penis has been to space, has yours?
Not yet it hasn't. Good for him, off course, but it IS yet another evidence men with small penises are more motivated to achieve a lot in life, be it in art, business, politics or military. No other way to get quality pussy.

individuals that truly excel

and i mean *truly* excel, not just "holy shit that soldier/devil dog/sailor is really good at his job" type shit, but stuff that makes you valuable, loved, and appreciated by everyone from your chain of command to boots that show up in your unit

soar to the greatest heights in the usmc compared to any other branch. the navy is the absolute fucking worst though. ive had so many omega-quality chiefs yeet their careers into the big blue because of scumbag juniors or officers.

Is this the power of manlet rage?

he's like 5'11. taller than half the navy

>The top 1 person in the class gets whatever they want
>Every one else gets lipservice to their wishlist
So everyone gets what they want? Did I misunderstand?

how to increase 37 max push ups to 42 in 2 days?

If I have an undiagnosed allergy I tell the doctors at MEPS about, will they open my file and discover the ADHD I didn't disclose?
I also told my recruiter about it when filing some medical paperwork, so will he tell them?

>Do 37 pushups
>Do 5 more

rest the day before.
get a good night's sleep and eat well.

They try to match you to what you want, but if they can't (about half the time), you don't get what you want.

Where do you go if pt is zonked

It's the Navy so probably just put a dress on and it doesn't matter what your gender is

to ur barracks room...or the gym.

If you are good at hacking just go for defense contractors. That is what I am and I work with real world devices all the time. Pay is way higher and in high demand.

Everytime you eat something do pushups until you're tired. this is worded deliberately vague. go off of your own definition of tired.

pushups pullups and situps can only be better with more pushuos, pullups, or crunches. don't count. numbers are meaningless.

source:
>0 to 5 pull ups in three weeks
>74 crunches to 99 in three weeks

doing these three times a day

ASVAB - 95 percentile with a 139 GT and every category between 128-135. Recruiter said that enlisting with intelligence MOS gets me a 30k bonus. I’ve also got a degree so could go officer route. I’m trying to make the most money while serving my country for 4-6 years and maybe do some cool shit. Not super concerned with my skills being applicable to civilian life as I plan on moving semi off grid after my enlistment. What do?

>nigger bitch couldn’t even do 5 suicides before falling down in failure
The OPAT was insanely easy i was so embarrassed for the girl but I gave her a hug and told her to keep working on it

definitely attempt officer my man. Intel officer is notoriously difficult to get into though.

don't contemplate sof whatsoever unless you are a collegiate-level athlete and of immense moral courage and mental toughness. You also need very low irritability/annoyability, supreme anger management skills, very high pain tolerance, and an overpowering charisma. Also, SOF guys are more insecure than anyone in the world and will haze the fuck out of you, and they're too valuable to punish so you better suck it up or get your asshole pushed in.

if you want money, go for the bonus and please make sure you're actually eligible and actually find out what the disqualifying factors are because the overwhelming majority of dudes actually lose their bonus because of gay shit, like not meeting certain arbitrary requirements, such as not being colorblind.

the Army is also probably the best when it comes to enlisted pay because you can skip straight to E-4 with that degree and make $2k a month which is a very reasonable amount.

Is this motherfucker for real? This is the Asian beta male white night from twitter right?

This guy fucks your girlfriend when you aren't home

Is there a difference?

With his tiny micropenis?

>lets seal women in a steel tube for 3 months with 108 19 year old men.
>shit goes wrong
>oh no! i cant believe this happened!
incredible
ive never used this phrase b4 but this is definately clown world tier hilarious.

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We had a list like that... in the 8th grade, and it wasn't a "rape list", more like we rated the girls (not that I was cool enough to ever get to see the list). It was seen as extremely immature and embarrassing for 14 year olds to be doing that, and was regarded as being corrosive to our learning environment.

Grown ass men trusted to be on a sub should fucking know better, and I don't care how long it's been since they've gotten their fucking dicks wet because if incels can behave themselves they can too.

Yeah, sure. Let's see how you do after being stuck in an underwater metal can for 100 days. The military accepts some of the biggest retards on the planet, I don't know what you expect. We know this is true because some dumbfuck thought it was epic and based to put women on submarines because he wanted a promotion. Why is making life worse for females good PR? Nobody knows!

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Can you become a submariner officer if you're afraid of sea creatures? Claustrophobia is fine, I spend a lot of my time in small spaces, but sea creatures are scarier than bugs to me.

Also is there an increased cancer risk of being a submariner? I only want to do 3-4 years before heading to the surface fleet.

I mean, you won’t be seeing any sea creatures from the inside of a sub, and I doubt anyone’s gonna force an officer to go on swim call if he really doesn’t want to.

>young male professionals aren't professional because they do young male things

And that's why you're cancer. Stop redefining professional away from being good at your job and towards makes females feels safe.

I might jack it an extra time or two a day, and might develop a coping mechanism, but I wouldn't be doing anything like that.

Wait. Wait. What do you think professionalism is? Mate, one of my biggest complaints about women in the workforce is that most of them are utterly incapable of maintaining a professional working environment and their insistence on making everything personal and taking everything personally erodes professional boundaries.

Nah, making a list of coworkers you want to fuck is absolutely unprofessional. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re doing anything particularly heinous, but you’d be fired for doing something like that at any company.

>What do you think professionalism is?

Getting the mission done. Women are cancer because they dilute the definition, which inevitably causes people who focus more on HR BS to be promoted over people who focus on the mission.

not saying those fellas should be doing stuff like that but military behavior regularly wouldn't fly in a normal company.
they are more/less fresh outta HS for the most part. most probably aren't old enough to drink.

But I’ve been told officer doesn’t get the phat signing bonus and I’m not going in for life so even if the pay is better than enlisted I’d rather have the money now.

Any particular MOS I should shoot for? I’m eligible for Cryptologic Linguist and that will net me he bonus as long as I’m eligible for it. Is there room to keep moving up the pay scale from the kind of position?

You aren't going to get the money off the bat... IEBs over $10,000 are paid out in $10,000 increments annually.

As an E-4 you'll make just over 26k, add 10k for your signing bonus and you're at 36k a year for 3 years. Then your bonus goes away, but let's say you make E-5 (you now have the required 36 months TIS), your income still drops to 28k.
An O-1 makes just over 38k, plus after 18 months TIS you will be promoted to O-2 and make 44k, also consider that BAH for officers is higher... That bonus isn't gonna do much for you mate

Actually my bad I'm gay and forgot to adjust the enlisted pay rates for TIS, officer is still better

...yes

the difference between you and me is that i am not fighting biology. you are literally fighting agaisnt the fundamental forces of the universe and trying to replace them with your own manufactured notions of human nature.
you are doomed to failure.

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>"It's not my fault I make coworkers uncomfortable by listing what order I want to rape them in, it's biology's"

>the military should make women's feelings the #1 priority
>the military should be comfortable
you are infringing on men's comfort by suppressing the natural masculine style of expression, peer bonding, and socializing.
you are the faggot here. not me. you are the evil one here. not me. you are the sexist one here. not me.

>you are the evil one here
Yes, it's evil to expect a modicum of decorum and professionalism from people floating around in a steel tube carrying enough nuclear warheads to level most countries. I'm not saying bringing women into the submarine service was a good idea, because it's clearly caused a lot of problems, but grown men acting like that is completely unacceptable in a professional context.

Lol imagine having nothing else to do but argue dumb shit with someone else online.

I honestly feel really bad for black women, they are super ugly. Not as bad as abbo black women but fuck man. Living in the south its rare to see even 1 attractive black woman, even when you do she's turbo ghetto trash 99.9% of the time.

Most black women look like black men in wigs.

>nger hall

Imagine if a bunch of White guys Roman saluted in this pic instead

you are criminalizing and pathologizing natural male behavior. you are fucking evil. fucking evil. and you need to understand that. you want to make life worse for an identity group for the benefit of an extreme minority of another identity group. you are attacking men simply because they are men. you are evil and a piece of shit.

>you are evil and a piece of shit
kek

How long does it take to get the drug test results from MEPS? I keep testing at home but the test strip is only bareelllly coming back negative each time. Anxious.

US Army by the way.

Imagine joining the military and then having some illiterate redguard yell at you for 13 weeks.
and then having some diversity CO lead you into death.

fuck this thread, and fuck you OP... there's a special section in hell for recruiters and pieces of shit such as yourself.

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exactly
my retarded recruiter was my reason for not joining in 2009 when I was going to. Went to MEPS then NOPED.

pussy
soccer mom

To that guy a couple threads ago who roasted me for being worried about my PRT- I fucking passed nigger

Yikes. Do you want a pat on the back for doing the minimum, fat boy?

wow you're bad at math. officer still makes more than an enlisted with bonus. the gap only increases the longer an officer is in and you will stop receiving bonuses after your first enlistment unless you're in a very specific line of work, in which case it's really hemorrhaging bodies and they are very desperate

you've never been enlisted have you?
guys operating multi-million dollar equipment also call each other faggots pretty regularly and then drink themselves into oblivion multiple times a week.

just dont do drugs. dont go to meps until you're comfortably clean.
big you're welcome pardner.