Galactic Empire surplus

>Sign up for Imperial Army
>get sent to fucking Mimban
>front has been a stalemate for half a fucking century
>the mostly dead clone-mando "adviser" bros that trained the insurgents now just want the whole damn place glassed
>pockets of seppie droids still fighting the mud crawling locals

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>dying for Toydarians

Man, I wanted to be a pilot. Heard the shipyards were developing new four winged star-ships, supposed to have a hyperdrive and all.

Bought a surplus e-11. It's just as good as a more expensive custom blaster. I mean it is mil spec after all.

Saw a stormtrooper with a Mandalorian skull decaled on his shoulder pauldron. I cringed hard.

Things have been good since the empire allowed open carry blasters but I'm still disappointed to hear they banned lightsabers after that attempted coup by Jedi.

>lightsabers
Basement dwelling nerf herders and their jediboo obsessions man get a blasfer like a normal person

People keep saying star destroyers are only useful against backwater rebellions and the second we get get into a peer to peer war they will be outclassed. It's a mute point because who could even threaten the empire?

>wanted to be part of Vader's fist commando units
>Washed out of selection
Now I'm here on some backwater desert planet looking for two droids. I probably should of just gone Imperial Navy. I hear they have some comfy jobs.

kek
Imperiamutts can’t even pilot Star Destroyers without running into each other.

What shithole rimworld are you from again? Or did we disintegrate it? Hard to keep track

Did you see all that rust on Gran Moff Tarkins fleet? I knew they shouldn't of lowered the recruitment standards and started letting in all these twi'leks and trandoshians.

Sometimes I wear my old imperial pilots uniform into the cantina to get free drinks and thank yous.

>Toydarians
kek
If anyone doesn’t get the reference, that’s the species of Anakin’s slave master from episode one. You know, the super cheap guy with the big nose?

Found an old clone trooper helmet for sale. Guy wanted 3,000 credits for it. Fucking toydarians, man. Y'all think I should just go ahead and get it? I hear they are only gunna go up in value.

I remember when the clone wars ended you could get a crate of dc-15 blasters for 800 credits. Should of bought more. The pride of my collection is a matching serial number DC-15A with a bunch of tally marks on the stock. Must have been the clones way of keeping track of Droid kills.

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Your days are numbered, Imperial. Our superior cannon-that-looks-vaguely-like-a-tit technology will shoot down all your puny ships if you ever dare to approach Hoth.

>Implying there are non-humans in the Imperial fleet
Butthurt Academy flunkee detected

The v-150 is a nasty bugger. Hook that bad boy up to a good reactor and it can knock out a Star Destroyer no problem.

What's on Hoth? Should we send a droid to check it out?

Rumor has it Vader has probe droids running all over the place. Someone probably leaked images over HoloNet

Hoth? What’s that? Must’ve been a typo. Just had a small weapons malfunction over here. I’m fine, how are you?

>Implying there are non-humans in the Imperial fleet
*blocks ur path*

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Blasters killed the Jedi.

Light sabers are only good for wall hangers.

Dios mio...
La creatura...

very high up imperial navy official here
Can't get too specific don't want to breach OpSec

Some of you human rebels are alright. Don't go to Hoth tomorrow.

PS. check the holonet at 0600 tomorrow for some good old fashion fleet action. So tired of this cloak and vibrodagger sneak-from-the-edge-of-the-system shit that Vadar has been doing lately. Such an edgelord. Rumor has It that a top secret kuat industries black project is going to slap its big old gray triangle dick all over some wookielover faces.
So going to get promoted for this lmao

They're only useful if you are a Jedi or Sith, you dumbass

He even has scraggly jew hair under his chin. It's like George Lucas looked at the happy merchant and said "this is an alien now", and upon later being told it was a Jew went all-in and made it an actual Jew.

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>sith
What does a long-extinct species have to do with anything?

The (((Sith))) aren’t extinct. They control everything the empire does from behind the scenes. Guess where your taxes go.

alien welfare and superweapons?

We'd have been better off with smaller turbolasers on a fleet of SSDs for the same cost

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May as well go full Confederacy and switch to droids
not like storm- or clonetroopers are remotely useful

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>imperial surplus
Nerf herder, do you have any idea just how much Republic surplus is littering the Galaxy?
Daily reminder the Confederacy did nothing wrong and only went the way it did because of the (((Sith))). With the Force, never endorse.

Shut it you neo-confederate, I'm glad scum like you are imprisoned on Coruscant

>should of
Back to school, illiterate.