ITT we talk about psychology and philosophy.
What are Jow Forums's thoughts on mental baggage? Does knowing you have something to look forward to at home drive you on? Or does it hold you back, knowing that all you have to do is wait long enough until you get shipped home?
t. neverserved college cunt doing research
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Uhh as a Soldier I want to go home but at the same time no. What drives me on is... something I can't explain. Guess I can say "yeah I served".
It depends on what you have to come home to. Sure it’s great to be out but boy do you want to get back in after regular civ life taking it’s toll
Pretty much every soldier on tour want back home and every soldier at home want back on tour.
Is it because of the difficulty of adjusting back to civ life that make soldiers want to go back on tour? How similar is it to ex-cons wanting to go back to prison after parole or release?
Some what but also it could be different amount of reasons. Not having a team leader, squad leader, or Chain of Command telling you what to do just feels out of place. It's what you are use to every single day. Get up at 0500 for 0600 PT, then some field exercises later and eventually 1600 release or staying up all night for FTX or night training. And then all the sudden you are dropped in the civilian world with no one barking orders at you. Feels surreal.
Couldn’t agree more, the feeling of not having anything to do is surreal
It's all getting used to a routine and the headspace associated. I suffered from a nightmarish string of depression for years. Not saying it's the same but just trying to relate the experience. I couldn't even understand how I used to be happy. It's only been a month I've recovered and that headspace is as alien to me now as being happy back then.
They're so different, yet so close in timeframe. Just makes it feel all the more unreal.
A lot different for Officers. I feel like I live my own life and make my own rules generally. At least when i'm not on a training assignment. On deployment I definitely feel the chain of command breathing down my neck. But I was a Lieutenant then, so it may be less now that i've promoted. Right now, I'm training so I dont have Soldiers, and I feel NO chain of command. Just follow the schedule and try not to get dropped for something retarded. There are periods of days I feel like a civilian (like 4-days or recovery days when not doing shit).
Do you find it more or less difficult to come up and follow a routine of your own in civ life? Is it easier to have someone else set a routine for you? Going to work every day for example, as opposed to living the retired life.
Alternatively, do you find that your training and experiences in obeying orders make it difficult for you to function without orders from someone else?
i never deployed but the things you listed are reasons I got out.
I hated being so constrained and being unable to do anything about it, not even voice your gripes about it because they'd slap your peepee. Ask me how I know.
So I gritted my teeth until my time was up and have enjoyed being a civ ever since. Maybe deploying would have changed things but if so, I'm glad I didn't deploy because the initial transition was hard enough. Aside from the mandatory transition training, they throw your ass to the curb and slam the door and you've gotta move quick or end up in a hole.
It is said there are certain types of people who make better soldiers than others, particularly those who are more obedient while still maintaining some degree of initiative.
How difficult was it for you to go back to civ life since you never deployed?
>What are Jow Forums's thoughts on mental baggage? Does knowing you have something to look forward to at home drive you on?
Not really I guess but then when I was in the Navy I didn't have anything to go back to because I lived on the ship and didn't have a family or anything to support so while being out in the middle of the ocean for 8 months at a time could be tidious you'll eventually find ways to pass the time, mostly working because you'll be doing stupid shit like cleaning brass, painting, humping stores, and whatever anyways on top of whatever your actual job is.
That said, what kind of ship you're on will also affect this. You'll be more involved on small bois like destroyers because of limited numbers (~300 people give or take) compared to a Aircraft carrier where a department/division can have that many people in some cases.
Then again, I wasn't being shot at and didn't have to breath in sand or worry about someone aloha snackbaring me either.
It sounds like your ship was your home, and your crew your family. How did you adjust to going back to civ life after all that time?
Forgot comfy pic.
This exactly. I learned to follow orders real well. Sit soaking wet in 40 degree weather on an OP for 24 hours? I can do that, and I'll stay awake and aware the entire time. Left side bound? Oh shit, they're shooting at us! I'm up, he sees me, I'm down. But as a civilian? Nobody tells me to do shit and I have precisely zero idea what to do otherwise. This is a personal failing and I'm working on it, but it's not easy. For me, the adjustment kicker was that I quickly became a social pariah among my old social group for behaviors I'd learned in the military which were no longer socially acceptable. As a consequence I allowed myself to withdraw from it entirely and developed pretty severe social anxiety and avoidance issues. A period of about seven years after I ETS'd out of the army were complete dark years for me -- completely wasted. I'm working with a good therapist right now (not from the VA, obviously -- she's good, after all) and things are getting better but it's a rare day I don't still pine for deployment and those days of being surrounded by other misfits unfit for civilian life, and the feelings of complete centeredness and clarity of purpose I had when life was at is simplest.
Sorry for the blogpost but I need to get this shit off my chest from time to time. Hope you fellow vetbros are doing well.
Thank you for sharing, I can relate to how difficult this is for you even though I never served. It's not pleasant to have nothing to do, no immediate goal to work towards and flat out not knowing what to do.
It might be difficult for you to answer, but may I ask what were your first thoughts when you first came home from deployment? What plans did you have, and what did you do?
no qualms about smoking hajis.
loved care packages. OMNOMNOM COOKIES
What behaviours were not socially "acceptable"?
not that guy but usually standing by awaiting orders quietly gets you labeled " the weird guy" in civvie jobs
well as a neverserved that's still at home, you have to either make peace with or conquer your demons. not letting others try to confine you to an ideological box helps a lot too
Oh I thought it was going to be things like the amount of swearing and how "aggressive you talk".
I went from construction to an office job, so you can imagine the type of transition that was for "appropriate language use".
oh I have that job now mostly ex mil. dick jokes and "fuck" every other word.
but before that, civvies get freaked out if you say things like "THIS COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT DOESN'T WORK. I'M GOING TO FUCK IT'S ASS"
"Man, fuck that shit"
>coworker's eyes widen
"Oh sorry, I meant that I'm not a big fan of theirs"
Coming back from deployment isn't that bad when you're not just kicked summarily back into the civilian world like I assume the national guard guys are. You come back, you're still around all your buddies all day every day, you've still got military structure (but fucking gloriously relaxed for a period). When we got back from deployment, the following few weeks were barely controlled anarchy. We're talking about barracks whores strutting around in the hallways, maneuvering around half naked dudes literally wrestling in miniature lakes of spilled beer. Show up to morning formation, probably still drunk from the night before, and you do a couple pushups, jog around a bit until the platoon sergeant gets fed up with smelling everyone's beer farts, then they say fuck off and you've got a couple more formations that day and the rest is free time.
There was a point where I was going to reenlist and grab another actual combat deployment, and I wish almost every day I had. The side effect to the initial lawlessness in post deployment, however, was that people started fucking up, pissing hot, getting chaptered out. The end state was that pretty much all of my close friends ended up getting kicked out or leaving. I shortly just followed the flow and got out myself -- I did very little free thinking at that point in my life. I allowed myself to get caught up in something that would ultimately work out for me much worse than my friends, and left the army with no real concrete plans beyond maybe going to school, which didn't work out. What followed was a much harder time adjusting to a civilian world which seemed to have left me behind and a long period of poor mental health.
In the infantry, you can pretty much say whatever the fuck you want. You can be a dick because everyone else is a dick too, and it's almost like one big inside joke. You learn to roll with the punches and throw them too, metaphorically.
Hit post limit.
Pretty quickly came to the realization that nobody really shared my sense of humor, and that nobody will actually tell you that to your face. They'll talk about you behind your back and have that kind of carefully curated, veiled disdain that still bleeds through. I couldn't fucking stand it, and none of my old friend group could stand me either, but I'm not that great at meeting new people in general so I convinced myself to stick around for a time, and we put up with each other. It was a crazily unhealthy dynamic and I'm glad I've left it behind.
>not blaring this on a fuckhuge bluetooth speaker from your cubicle
youtube.com
I hardly would call them family but going back to civ life was rough because, like it's already been said, you are so use to a routine it's hard to just do whatever you want on your own even though you crave it. That and I was filled with a lot of hate and negative emotions when I sat and thought about shit and certain interactions I had for too long.
It's complicated and probably now I'd take it way differently then when I did some 10 years ago
It's all about time.
Life is about a fight for time.
At first, trauma can make me massively depressed.
Give it enough time and reflection, it's a driving force. I decided that I can't let my desire for pleasure hold be back from taking risks and ultimately achieving my goals. If I can't be the best I can be, whenever I need to be, I may as well be dead.
It was just a lot of figuring everything out nonstop for half a year. Finding a place to live, waiting on schools to get back to me and then you basically need to learn how to be a normal person all over again.
Lots of moving around for me as well but I ended up spending a lot of time alone and thinking about the next step and it helped a lot.