>Be an impulse enlist after 9/11. >Join Army and make it through basic just fine. >Dad owned an M16 clone and an AK-47 and we shot coyotes with them. Knew how to operate both rifles. >Be issue a M4 rifle with a small crack in the lower. Tell my CO, he says it'll be fine. >Inna village 12 hours later. >Firefight starts, fire first 5 rounds when my magazine falls out of the slot and my whole lower was cracked from mag slot lip to the top of the piece. >OhsweetbabyJesus.gif >Immediately given an AK off the ground by my CO, who watched my rifle fall aprt in my hands. >"Do you know how to use this, Private user?" >"Yes, I do, Sergeant." >"Then go to fucking town." >grab some mags off the body the rifle came from and hope the magic Ruskie engineering wouldn't fail me. >Go back to base with an AK, immediately get confronted by a Major. >"Where the fuck is your service rifle, Private?!" >Show him my fucked M4. >He contemplates what I think was the entirety of the universe and replies. >"That's fucked." >Get the nickname "Fuck-Wuck" for the rest of my deployment.
In the guard we had this private that would ask the captain what time chow was. Did it repeatedly.
Hunter Robinson
Main campaign usually only takes 4 hours. He must be bad at this game.
Bentley Fisher
and then the camera pans out and user is sitting in a mental ward jabbering to other mental patients
Carson Bailey
>hue conscript >basic training >night progression course >basically a trail in the woods the nco's placed obstacles and traps >630 gets to the place a punching bag? swings out, we're supposed to thi ti with the rifle >not the FAL, but a beat to shit mauser without the bolt >anyway when 630 gets to it, the sergeant there tells him to hit the dummy >instead of "stabbing" it with the tip of the barrel, he grabs the barrel and uses the mauser like a baseball bat >70 year old wood furnitue shatters, obviously >sarge goes "ther, soldier, good job" >630 goes "sir, i broke the rifle" >sarge goes "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO PRIVATE" >he got yelled at for a bit, but kept on going, nothing could be done there
>when I got to the end, everyone was grouped up around a campfire (it was really cold for brazil) >as soon as I sit down, LT shows up and orders everyone back to the beginning
If I remember correcly, the 630 dude just had to do some pushups, since he followed the order to hit the dummy.
Leo Gray
>>Be an impulse enlist after 9/11. Already lost, top kek. Good one user
Aiden Cox
Google image search suggests OP is a faggot
Noah Perry
Wasn't there a news story about a group of soldiers that got dishonorably discharged Because they took an ak off a dead body and started shooting it in the mountain side while recording themselves
Austin Cook
>>Immediately given an AK off the ground by my CO, who watched my rifle fall aprt in my hands. >>"Do you know how to use this, Private user?" >>"Yes, I do, Sergeant." >CO >Sergeant This is where your story really fell apart, fake ass bitch. Try harder next time.
Anthony Barnes
A He's not the only one. B The M-4 is a piece of shit. The saw as well.
Jose Reed
>some retard forgets to put gas tube back to his RK >fires >the gun explodes 5/5
Gavin Flores
>CO >Sargeant Yup. I'm not even in the military nor have I ever served but I knew that was bullshit.
Hudson Hughes
>CO >O >O as in officer >Yeah Sarge, I can into an AK >Naming an enlisted man as your CO Better luck next time kid.
Zachary Perry
0/10 not even trying
Lucas Allen
this is true. Although I have never had FTE's out of my spikes. fucker just spits it out.
But take an AK over an AR any day.
Jordan Reyes
>Firefight starts, fire first 5 rounds when my magazine falls out of the slot and my whole lower was cracked from mag slot lip to the top of the piece.
>grab some mags off the body the rifle came from and hope the magic Ruskie engineering wouldn't fail me.
You went from patrolling, to literally on top of the enemy's position in the span of a 5 seconds? So close that you could harvest mags off of a dead terry?
That's a goddamn miracle, private. Fine work, it's lucky you're alive. I just thank god your father trained on the AK-47 platform, or who knows what could have happened.
This thread is a shit show. Thanks Jow Forums for brightening my day.
Sebastian Barnes
One,time I joined the Marine Core and they sent me to Ft Knocks which was like wow it was tough, they KNOCKS you around for real and they I was deployed and sniped 40 towels in one day until the Fleet Admiral told me to,stop and shook my hand before drivng away in his Town Car and once I got home The President also shook my hand and said Great Job Soldier and that's how it goes sometimes I'm not a bragger or anything
Jacob Gomez
Thats a good story Huey but save it for another thread because this one his about making fun of OP
Hes not wrong. I watched a humvee tire fall on an M16 snapoing it in two where the butt sock/ buffer spring tube match the upper reciever. MILSPEC leaves alot to be desired
Jacob Long
Then it must have been an A1 receiver (6061 aluminum), which lacks additional material below the receiver extension to reinforce it
Daniel Morales
>take weapon from dead enemy >grab some mags off the body the rifle came from
absolutely terrible idea that could end with you losing appendages or dying.
heard of a thing called spiked ammunition? the US military has distributed it around the middle east. from mortar shells to bullets and more.
an example of this is the vid of those contractors shooting an AK they found, and it blows up in the dudes face
look up "spiked ammunition" and you will never want to pick up and use weapons from enemies in the middle east
Thomas Smith
>Bitching about spiked ammo myths when the entire story is complete bullshit
>Be me, Sister Fister ina small ass COP in Douchebagistan >Not be me, gaggle fuck squad of grunts bored out of their minds >Not be me, boot LT that wants to be in on our prank war >Also not me, random hadji goat >We didn't fuck the goat >See LT go into porta shitter to jack one off in 140degree shit house >See goat, get idea, grab the fucker by its horns >Drag goat to porta-shitter >Get retard PV2 to pull door open >We shove goat inside >PV2 slams door shut and holds it for about 30 seconds >SPC with camera about 30 feet away, gets pic of LT with pants around his ankles and goat >Everyone scatters onto the small fuck ass COP >Get called out by First Sausage and have the shit smoked out of us >cantsmokearock.hooah >tear COP apart to find camera but it's vanished >Prank war ends Occasionally my buddies send the LT (now a Major) these pictures and ask how his GF is via different email accounts to fuck with him. He's actually a pretty decent officer we just like to fuck with him.
Jeremiah Nelson
thats fucked man, what happens when some law-abiding citezen just wants to plink some rocks off the back of his camel accidentally loads some cheap surplus his cousin gave him?
Dylan Davis
M16s currently in service are trash, I got issued one with a bent front sight. Spent most of basic trying to get it replaced. Got to qualify with it for half a day broken, finally convinced drill SGT about the problem. Surprise surprise i qualify on next round. Got issued guarbage mags too. Worn out springs. It was a joke! Way to go to town on haji with AK battle buddy.
Joshua Barnes
spiked ammo is nothing new. We did that in Vietnam with the snake eaters. Seals too whatever. LURPS. All those guys use to drop off free ammo for Charley. Merry Christmas Charley! BOOOOM! Noting new under the sun anons.
Ian Clark
Wow did you get a coin user. I mean wow. I am sooo impressed.
>be me, YATYASfag >innadesert, pulling watch at the motor pool >half our tracks are broken down, the other half have unserviceable weapons >no parts for repairs because no budget left till October >some lance coolies decide to tactically acquire some parts from the Army Bradley’s >parts are literally just stacked on top of each other with nonwatch posted >keep an eye out as crew chiefs run into the motor pool to acquire some parts >road wheels, shocks, torsion bars, what ever isn’t bolted down and can be carried by two guys is took >awildgruntappears.gif >see us lifting parts from the Army, joins the fray with his buddy >starts taking shit grunts don’t even need, taking shit for the sake of taking shit >7ton parts, MRAP parts, sandbags etc. >they strike a deal with the crew chiefs to hide their newly acquired shit in the tracks for a log of dip per amtracker >crew chiefs deem this a reasonable bargain, start tossing shit in the tracks >our daring raid complete, everyone breaks for the rack, chow or jacking off to bootleg porn in the bathrooms of the USO >spend next day on edge, waiting for the Army to raise hell >nothing happens >suddenly Gunny calls all the crew chiefs and the watches the night the raid went down >makes us open all the tracks >ohfuck.jpg >all our recently liberated parts in full view of the Guns >stands there, shakes his head and asks the watches if we saw anything that night >nope.avi >contemplated for a moment, “good to go, lock them up” >lock them up, commence our Sunday day off >make necessary repairs with parts next day
Could’ve been worse, stealing from the army is continuous
Aiden Kelly
On tablet so fuck greentext Be me Be in Shitcanistan Be at ye olde COP again Have a wonderful issued vintage M49 spotting scope that probably was used to spot japs during ww2. Scope is sitting on an empty drum because its comfy to observate the next village this way Behind drum are sandbags behind sandbags is a 400 feet drop-off LT (whos actually a cool guy) comes over to over as me something Stumbles Crashes into me, I crash into the can, M49 goes byebye Patrole retrieves it a few days later. Not a single lens was intact but the body was still remarkably okay. Still said it was ruined
Adrian White
retard
Jayden Cruz
based
Noah Thompson
>Not being buddy-buddy with your CO to the point you can call him Sergeant. >maybe Sarge when you're trying to be cheeky >not getting in gunfights back to back with Sarge as you both stack bodies knee deep all around you >not having a catastrophic failure and good ol' Sarge tosses you an AK without skipping a beat in the heat of battle Never gonna make it, user.
