Hypothetical local big blue choice your own adventure

You're sitting in your comfy suburban home when all of a sudden you hear gunshots outside. You peek out your front door and see pic related. You call out and ask wtf he's doing. He says he's dabbing on glowniggers in Minecraft and private citizens need not be concerned.

Do you:
A. Grab your gun and join him
B. Grab your gun and dome him
C. Go back inside and get to cover
D. Other

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A

D. Other

Specifically, masterbate while watching the firefight

A

All of the above in order presented so that I can say I made the right choice no matter the outcome.

D.
Call the anonymous tipline, let them know it's cold out, and go back to whatever anime I was watching.

Free my man maple snake.

I DO NOT STOP MASTURBATING, REPEAT, I DO NOT STOP MASTURBATING!

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What's with the autist inciting riots and illegal gun modifications always rambling about minecraft?
Is this the best shariablue can do? Did they get a budget cut and had to fire the less autistic?

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I'm taking a break from this board. This is only going to get worse.

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