Guys, I got drunk with my brother and that was a really bad idea. I have to work in three hours...

Guys, I got drunk with my brother and that was a really bad idea. I have to work in three hours. How do I stop being drunk? I'm already drinking coffee to counter the effects, but it isn't doing much.

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It's fine user, it's fine. Just come here, I'll help you. I'll help you. *pulls down my pants* you gotta suck on this, boy. Suck down this medicine and it'll absorb all that alcohol. Mmm.

Eat some bread.

Go and induce vomiting, eat a ton of bread and drink water. In 3 hours you should be down enough to function at work.
Godspeed user

People go to work drunk all the time. Take a cold shower to wake up and just do your best to function

Most people are drunk at work; it's not a big deal.

Many of your co-workers probably have whiskey in their coffee or vodka in a water bottle.

I'll make some ramen, those noodles are basically bread right? I'll pour some coffee into the broth. I'm su a fcuking dumbass. Drinking mere hours before I have to work

call sick who cares

Aquarium charcoal; but if you don't have any on hand, it won't do you any good.

I don't think it's the same as bread.

Fuck the coffee, hit a 7eleven and buy a 5 hour energy and a pack of listerine breath strips. Pop a strip literally as often as possible because the smell isn't gonna stop, it comes out of your pores and your lungs. At least with listerine strips you can claim you its a mouthwash or that you spilled some cleaner if anyone asks. Don't make it a regular thing. Good luck.

* How drunk are you?
* What did you drink?
* What do you do at your job?

Do what this user said, but also eat a lot of cheese. Cheese has a bit of fat in it so it helps slow the absorbtion of alcohol.

I used to go to work still drunk all the time. Either dont be a pussy or call in sick. If you're set on going to work, go the fuck to sleep and hope its enough to sober you up

I'm drinking a whole pot, that should do the trick. Can't drive to a 7/11 intoxicated, duh.

I'm drunk enough that passing my room mate in the hall caused him to exclaim "what the fuck" as I bumped into things, accidentally knocked stuff over. I'm getting. a little better now though. I work retail, so being mentally sound is imperative.

This, op you need something dry like bread
This wouldn't really help

I wll make a bologna sandwich

Also get some charcoal pills, these things help you through the day by basically acting like a sponge in your stomach

>so being mentally sound is imperative.

Not reeking of metabolized alcohol is probably more of an imperative. I don't think you're going to make it. Call in sick; say you have food poisoning and spent the night on all fours in the bathtub while you were uncontrollably spewing from both ends.

Retards and/or underage
HURR BREAD SOAKS IT UP

litteraly who stays drunk for 3 hours lol
user just do wind sprints to speed up your metabolism and throw up

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Being as stressed as you are right now I'd say you are functioning nearly as good as "normal".

Forcibly vomit whatever you have right now in your somach and drink lots of water. Should be fine. And chew some gums if you want to hide the smell.

Been there
The only thing that truly helped were those lemonade monsters energy drink things. Forgot what they are called. Grab one beforwe work and youll be fine
Coffee will make you crash. Stop now

Get some high fat noodles and a vitamin drink. If that doesn't work then call in sick

Drink plenty of water OP. After three hours you should be fine, but if you're really worried, call in sick.

It doesn't work entirely but technically having food in your system is better than drinking on an empty stomach.

>Drink plenty of water OP
Oh yeah, this. OP you need hydration and you need to piss it all out.

And for gods sake DO NOT VOMIT. It's going to make things 100 times worse