What do you blame for your ills?

growing up without a father

he ran off when i was a kid and is died of heroin a couple of years ago

my parents, they're the ones that passed the genes on

Not agreeing or disagreeing but what makes you say that?

I blame no one, certainly not myself. I'm not stupid enough to blame others for everything but also I hate the boomer-tier "le everything exists in a vacuum pull yourself up from your bootstraps!!!"

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There's plenty of things that caused me to be where I am today. Parents, school,lifestyle, culture,etc. Most importantly though, it's my decisions that got me to where I am. I don't know what/who to blame. For a while I blamed the outside world, then I turned inward and blamed myself for everything. I still kind of do, don't really know where to move on from here or if I'll ever move on.

My fuckin lazy ass parents didn't bother to become billionaires. FUckin why have kids and you can't provide for them, idiot cunts

I blame myself. I wish I had something else to blame but I don't.

I just had a bunch of bad experiences, but they could have happened to anyone, so nobody to blame really.

Just have a lifetime of bad luck. Things are better now tho; still fucks you up regardless.

The entities responsible for my current "negative" disposition are the conception of existence itself and all of the things leading up to it, going back as far as the beginning of our universe. This individual that these entities created is the only one who is able to do anything major concerning his disposition but he is not the sole cause anymore than a flower is the sole cause of its pigmentation.

>What do you blame for your ills?
mostly parenting.
i could say mean kids or bully's but that's not the reason, bully's are everywhere anyway.
my parents didn't teach me how to be dynamic and thrive in harsh situations, they always assume that school is somehow a place where you get "essential tools for life".
and probably the biggest thing of it all, they always blamed ME for everything bad that happened to me.
they always had that attitude of "i had it harder than you blah blah" maybe that's true, but why make it harder for your son?

Sorry you got fucked over like that op

I blame my dad, his manipulation of me, destroying my self-esteem and turning me into him

"cyber bullying", essentially. If I didn't take things online so seriously and get abused by all the people I considered friends, and get so scared and broken down by the cruel things said to me regarding all the things I care most about, I'd be able to be comfortable and well enough to work and interact with people without feeling terrified. It's my experiences online, and porn addiction, that made me weak. That's what I believe.

I blame childhood abuse by my elementary school teacher and the stream of drugs the quack therapists hooked me on afterwards.

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I blame society for lying to me every single step of the way, and then stabbing me in the back when I pointed that out.

Girls!!!
Telling me you look like a girl!
Lasting 2 minutes in bed.

I want more girls tho....I've become negative gay

>It's my experiences online, and porn addiction, that made me weak
I know both of these feels
Porn is sneaky in how it slowly normalizes objectively terrible things and even causes you to associate them with pleasure. And then the guilt is painful but not in and of itself sobering, which leads to only more brokenness.
I used to be romantic.

Myself.
I don't care though, I just go with the flow at this point, and lower my standards accordingly

my fucked up gut causing autism

or potentially brain damage. not sure, I'm retarded after all.

my parents for giving birth to me

>always wanted to travel the world
>never enough money to actually follow through
>even if i saved up enough money it'd eventually run out and I'd be left with the choice of either smelly trashy homeless traveller or depressing job(think of the ending of pulp fiction where jules want to "walk the earth")
>mfw i chose depressing job

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Late diagnosis of autism.
26y/o and haven't fully figured out how to function.

I'm not bad, I'm just not great, on the surface level I appear:
>Intelligent
>Successful
>Wealthy
>Fit and healthy
>Normie

But otherwise, I sound "weird" if the conversation lasts more than a few seconds.
What they don't know unless I tell them:
>NEET
>Virgin
>Live w/ parents
>No friends
>No social life

mm i thing i could no one but me
i was the one who didn't want to sign up on FB back in the day, so i was pushed aside, and i couldn't develop basic social skills until i was 20yo

nigga i had a fb and i still didnt get social skills

pretty much the same but paired with having a single mom

I actually have it pretty good. I've done a lot of work in my life to fight through things that have set me back

But every day I have to fight with ADHD. It's shitty and I hate it, even on medication I have to give my all to be a normal person

>Late diagnosis of autism
Did you ask your parents to get diagnosed or was it the other way around?

my mental illness
just look at this
im a hapa so that might have to do with it

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I blame my autism and bpd on my parents having me when they were 40 with the use of fertility drugs
I blame my anxiety and depression on a bad childhood, no father, and being bullied a lot
And I blame my wanting to be a girl and general fagness on a bad medication that killed my puberty, sexual abuse, and grooming from Jow Forums
Its feels nice to blame everything on other people sometimes

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How the hell does your gut cause autism?

Where can I take this original test?

I blame myself and only myself.

Can I cuddle you tho

>Facebook magically grants social skills

I feel like I can only blame myself for my ills.
I feel like I inherently have caused all of my own problems and that my own existence is just meant to be miserable and useless.
Maybe I was just born for bad things to happen to me?
Everything bad that has happened to me I somewhat deserve in some way.
I deserved my fucked up childhood
It is all just cause I exist

>Everything bad that has happened to me I somewhat deserve in some way.
>I deserved my fucked up childhood
Why?

>Why?
Cause I end up hurting people that are close to me
I don't intend to, but I end up doing it
And also because I feel it just may be my lot in life to suffer
I suffer so that others don't have to

Probably being exposed to pornography at such a young age. I remember being in 5th grade when a guy named Josh showing me a video of a guy fucking a chicken that his older brother showed him. All around a fucked up situation.

My pornography interests are in the realms of BDSM and things like that. I've become desensitized to naked women and normal sexual activity in real life mostly. I have almost no sex drive or sexual interest but enjoy pornography and masturbating. This in turn has hurt my personal relationships with people.

This is really my only weird problem I guess. I'm in college, have good job prospects, hobbies, and look forward to a lot after i'm done next year.
I'm just fucked up with interpersonal relationships.

Your intentions are in the right place. You may suffer, but it is not your cause.
Have you ever practiced meditation?

Sorry user I have a boyfriend
>Oregano

No, but I feel like it wouldn't work for me
I have a very small attention span and if my hands are not busy, I kinda cannot concentrate
When I listen to music I can concentrate better
But my music tastes are Eminem, Hollywood Undead, and G-Unit, so like I don't think that it would jive well with meditating

I just feel like I am going to just go through life until it becomes too unbearable and I kill myself
Sadly that day may come sooner than later

Also holy shit user nice quads

gender dysphoria and depression

also divorce at a young age which i guess im subconsciously still torn about as a grown ass adult because it manifests through dreams involving the house i lived in while my parents were together every once in a while

also gender dysphoria

Neither.
It was only last year I got diagnosed.
I've already been through the mental health system so I was comfortable going alone.

I did it because I got my first job (nepotism).
Socially oriented so I enthusiastically accepted thinking it would give me the experience to make things socially "click".
Several months in I still hated it, didn't learn a thing and felt more retarded then ever.

I thought I might be a psychopath or something because I couldn't empathise or relate to people.
Talked to my online friend about it (diagnosed aspie) and he said I'm probably autistic.
Spoke to my GP and he sent me to a specialist, and here we are.

Everything makes sense though, as a teen;
>Diagnosed OCD
>Diagnosed aggorophobia
>After OCD calmed, thought I had "Pure O" instead

Before I was diagnosed I told my mum about my suspicions (she's worked with autistic kids before), she was like "oh shit... yeah, you prob are".
Then she cried and hugged me, even though she knows I hate hugging.
She then said she was "soo sorry" as she wept, this is probably because she remembered her parenting.
Very abusive, verbally and physically, she used to say "I never learned" how to behave after beating me.
For instance smacking me for not smiling properly or laughing wrong or not looking happy, beating me for misbehaving in class, mocking my awful social standing.
But whatever.

I still haven't told her the results of the diagnosis, she hasn't asked and we don't talk about it.
But everyone in the house treats me a lot better. I assume she's gossiped to everyone as she usually does.

Official diagnosis is better imo.
Professionals understand how conditions interact with each other and what primary ailments are of concern.

Oh wow, my desire to LONDON you transformed into wanting to call you a faggot.
Didn't think I could be salty about a gay.
I blame people like you for turning me into a faggot.

I don't blame anything or anyone except maybe whatever it was that brought me here. But I'm not sure I see even that in a spiteful sense. There is just a deep existential wrongness that makes it all seem like a glitch or something that isn't supposed to happen. It's still an incredibly self-centered view but in a different way.

Insecurity, the internet, men. Honestly, it's mostly men.

>Honestly, it's mostly men
How femanaon?

God I hate when faggots try to make it about "muh choices" when your genetic makeup, cultural surroundings, family and home life all shape you into something mentally before you even reach the age of reason lmao. You dont "make choices", nobody does. Youre just too stupid to understand it

Thank you for telling your story; I asked because I feel like I have the same thing.
The next step for me would be to discuss this with my parents, but I am anxious around them and only respond with several word replies and gestures.

Yeah, I'd definitely do that.
First time I saw a shrink I spoke to mine even though we weren't on great terms.
We have socialised healthcare here so I wasn't financially depended on them for the service.
Once you see a shrink and stuff, everything is confidential, you can get comfy and familiarise yourself with the service so you can independently use it.
Nice to keep things independent so you can shit talk about your parents and like, not have them waiting outside or anything weird.

I will try my best then. Thanks.

I blame my sociopath mom.

I see a lot of anons talking about childhood stories similar to mine (Lots of vidya, isolation, etc) and I just wanna say my two cents on it.

It's being unnecessarily hard on yourself to blame your past self for your actions, without taking into account the factors that played into it at the time. I felt bad about how much time I wasted as a kid/teen and sometimes still do, but its unfair to do so without considering how fucking miserable I was back then. I had snowballing mental disorders and other kids didn't like me. I just wanted to be left alone more than anything else, and if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't. Fuck that, I went through that shit once already.

My mum dying all my life and passing when I was 17

I can't shake off guilt even though i have nothing to be guilty for

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>Blaming other factors for being a failure.
Xd.
You are only a product of yourself, and if you haven't bettered yourself by now, you were the problem from the beginning.
Putting the blame on other things won't help, it'll just function as escapism.

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I blame myself wholeheartedly and it makes me want to die even more, I wish I could somehow parcel my faults onto things that have happened in my life but really it's my own fault for being such a lazy, whiny little cunt.

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Mostly genes, prenatal environment, and early childhood. Late childhood or preteens also contributed a lot.

Honestly? My nature. I've been raised well, my parents always made sure I would socialize and exercise, and yet here I am.

I'm just a shit kid.

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Sexual repression encouraged by my community and family, enabling and ignoring signs of depression in childhood, and capitalism.

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