Feels Thread

As you wish. To preface this, it'll probably take a while for me to type everything since its a pretty long story, and some of it is kind of... shitty to say the least. All I ask is that you guys don't judge me too quickly until I get everything out. Thanks.
I guess I'll start at the beginning, when I met her.
>2 years ago
>junior year in high school
>girl starts going out with one of my friends, don't really think too much of it, don't really care
>her and I become friends, but only really in the way you would be with a friend of a friend
>don't really talk to her much
>never have any classes together
>senior year
>friend already graduated along with about 90% of my friend group
>start becoming closer friends with this girl
>we start just spending time together 1 on 1 after class
>still nothing much, don't think of her as more than a friend
cont. I'll try and keep posts short ish

>we spend pretty much every free moment we have at school together
>just me and her alone at lunch most days
>she starts to get a little bit more touchy feely
>hugs and the like, would usually take my arm in hers when we walk around
>one night we end up going to a friend's house together to work on a project or something
>not a lot of places to sit in his room so the girl ends up sitting in my lap
>not really sure what to do with my arms, so I end up wrapping them around her
>end up holding hands
>starting to get a little uncomfortable since she's still my friend's gf
>at the same time it's kind of comforting since I usually have shit luck with women
>we don't really go any further than that, but we ended up sitting there together for at least a couple hours
cont.

>pretty much nothing of note happens after that, her and I are still friends
>her and my friend end up breaking up later that year, I end up distancing myself from her since loyalty to my friend or whatever
>their relationship has always been, well, rocky at best to say the least
>feel bad about just abandoning her, but kind of move on since we were nothing more than friends anyway
>eventually they get back together but she and I don't really talk anymore
>fast forward to late last year
>friend's birthday party, his gf is there
>drinks and stuff, end up talking to her again
>chat like old friends, decide to hang out again
>again, nothing happens for a while
>we did end up becoming a little closer, though
>her birthday rolls around
>she invites me, I go
>her bf has to leave halfway through for something work related
>drinks
>she ends up feeling a bit sick and is in the bathroom for a while just kind of sitting down
>a few people realize she's been gone for a while, tell me I should check on her
>I knock on the door, she opens it and tells me to come in
>just kind of sit in there with her on the floor comforting her since she didn't feel good
>fortunately she didn't get sick
>most people are either leaving or passing out on couches when we come back out
cont.

cont cunt

origorp

>you will never have a qt travel with you in a post apocalyptic world
>you will never go over barren hills, poke through scrap-littered ruins, feel your way through dense fog with her by your side
>you will never fight off strange horrid monsters together
>you will never eat canned foods together by a fire
>you will never help take care of her when she is injured
>you will never feel her warmth in the sleeping bag cause you lost the extra one and have to share
>you will never camp out on top of a ruined skyscraper in a dead city and watch the stars together on a frigid night
>you will never have her look to you for the answers
>you will never have someone love and depend on you

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>was going to help her get to bed
>turns out someone passed out in her bed
>we end up going to a different room
>1 couch
>we just kind of sit together for a while, she leans into me, I instinctively put my arm around her comfortingly
>she leans more into me, we end up leaning back, almost laying down together
>a couple people still awake come into the room and talk for a little, we sit back up
>after a bit they leave, she tells me she's tired and wants to sleep
>tells me to pull over the ottoman and we can just use it and the couch as a bed
>get kind of nervous again, but do it anyway
>I was drunk, tired, and lonely so I probably didn't have the best judgement at the time
>we lay down together under a blanket, our arms around each other
>at this point my heart is pounding, but so was hers
>we end up just talking the night away, talking about nothing much
>I guess neither of us really wanted the night to end, we just wanted to lay there together forever
>at like maybe 4 am she finally falls asleep
>I'm still too nervous to fall asleep, just lay there trying to make sense of the situation
cont.

>after a few more hours her alarm goes off, she had somewhere to be that morning
>we lay there together for a while before leaving
>decide to meet up that Tuesday
>we end up texting a lot the following days, the first day or two we don't really talk about much
>finally decide to break the question
>"So, what was that night?"
>she says she doesn't really know
>she sobered up fairly quickly so she said that wasn't an excuse
>said she definitely enjoyed it though, whatever it was
>Monday, the day before we agreed to meet up
>I take public transit to class, ended up being there late for a night class
>texting her
>mention that I'm at school and would need to wait like an hour before I could even get home
>she lives near my uni, offers me a ride home
>fuck it, why not?
>while we're driving to my house we end up almost getting hit by another car
>she kind of panics after that, ask her if she needs a minute
>we pull over on a side street
>she turns off her car, we just kind of sit there for a little while talking while she calms down
>keep talking more
>after maybe 15 minutes we take off our seat belts and get more comfortable
>after maybe an hour she ends up sitting in my lap
>end up talking about that night together
cont.

>as we talk we kind of slowly get closer and closer
>after what seems like an eternity our faces are less than an inch apart
>we end up kissing
>on one hand it's amazing, about a billion things are going through my head at once
>on the other hand there's this nagging voice in the back of my heas telling me that this is wrong, that we shouldn't be don't this
>obviously I tell that little voice in the back of my head to shut the fuck up
>we sit there together making out for a couple hours, we end up getting a little more into it
>hands in each other's pants, the like
>as we're starting to get more intense her phone rings
>her parents are expecting her home
>literally cock blocked
>she drives me home
>we text pretty much all night
cont.

So what happened? You orbited her for awhile and then asked her out and she said lets be friends?

It's kind of hard to imagine how this could go wrong. Though I've never had a gf so what do I know.

>Tuesday, the day we had originally planned to meet up
>we hang out during that afternoon, just talking, nothing of note
>later that night we end up going back to her place
>her parents aren't home
>we go to her room, start making out again
>she takes off her shirt, I take off mine
>pretty soon we're just in underwear, her bra is off already
>and then I got some fairly disappointing news
>she started her monthly that day
>sucks but whatever
>got a blowjob that night, I'll try not to go into detail with that sort of thing
>we end up meeting up more or less every night that week
>do pretty much what we had been, kind of just ignore the whole immorality of it all
>one night we're out late together, it's like 1 am and we're parked in an empty lot
>just kind of making out that night
>we've been kind of avoiding saying this but she ends up saying it
>"I love you"
>this, I think, was the moment I got attached
>this was the moment when I should have known I was in too deep
>this was the moment I should have cut things off
>but I didn't
>instead, I said it back
cont.

>tfw when Jow Forums coming back with feels
>no more faggotry or Jow Forums shit

Our brothers really did help the robots.

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Don't get attached user. Say I love you back but don't put your hope and heart in her hands make her fight for it at least. Women are fickle creatures.

I've been posting the story, friend. I'm OP
You'll see
>eventually she's off her time of the month and we finally have sex
>it's absolutely amazing
>and then she has to go on vacation with her family for a week
>we text pretty much the whole time she's gone, I probably sent close to 5000 messages that week
>she talks a lot about how much she misses me and how she can't wait to get back
>I pretty much tell her the same
>when she finally comes back it's around Christmas so we aren't able to see each other for a few days
>after Christmas my parents go out of town for a few days
>offer to have her stay with me for three days
>she says yes
>those were the best 3 days of my life
>just being with her, doing everything with her was amazing
>at this point it wasn't even about the sex for me
>I really fell for her, I got attached
>I guess I finally knew what it felt like to love somebody
>it felt fucking amazing
>it felt like I was invincible and everything was going to be perfect and that nothing could ever ruin this
>January 2
>I had to go visit family across the country, this was my last night in town
>her and I hung out with some mutual friends
>only 3 of us left later that night, I had to get home so I could sleep before my flight
>we went to a 7-11 for something, don't remember what
>mutual friend is still inside the store as we walk out to the car
>she wants me to kiss her but I can't, too risky since we can't let the mutual friend see
>in the car, mutual friend is coming back
>just before the door opens she says she loves me
>that was the last time I heard those words
>that was the last time I was happy
cont.

>to go on vacation with her family for a week
>>we text pretty much the whole time she's gone, I probably sent close to 5000 messages that week
>>she talks a lot about how much she misses me and how she can't wait to get back
>>I pretty much tell her the same
>>when she finally comes back it's around Christmas so we aren't able to see each other for a few days
>>after Christmas my parents go out of town for a few days
>>offer to have her stay with me for three days
>>she says yes
>>those were the best 3 days of my life
>>just being with her, doing everything with her was amazing
>>at this point it wasn't even about the sex for me
>>I really fell for her, I got attached
>>I guess I finally knew what it felt like to love somebody
>>it felt fucking amazing
>>it felt like I was invincible and everything was going to be perfect and that nothing could ever ruin this
>>January 2
>>I had to go visit family across the country, this was my last night in town
>>her and I hung out with some mutual friends
>>only 3 of us left later that night, I had to get home so I could sleep before my flight
>>we went to a 7-11 for something, don't remember what
>>mutual friend is still inside the store as we walk out to the car
>>she wants me to kiss her but I can't, too risky since we can't let the mutual friend see
>>in the car, mutual friend is coming back
>>just before the door opens she says she loves me
>>that was the last time I heard those words
>>that was the last time I was happy

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Man this turned into an overly long normal fag story. You have literally nothing to cry about.

>be me
>16 year old irresponsible fuck
>in best relationship I've ever had to this day
>go to the beach with my friend
He has an rv type thing on a campground
>get way too shitfaced one night
>so intoxicated I could see everything happening but couldn't control it
>lose friend
>ohshit
>my dumbass starts yelling his name at 2 am thinking I'll find him
>man comes up to me
I know where your friend is, follow me
>follow him
>we go deep into the woods
>my drunk ass doesn't think anything of it
>get molested, no penetration, but he fondled my dick until I could push him off and run the fuck away
Ff like 2ish days
>see gf
>blame myself for what happened
>tell her about it
>gets beyond pissed and breaks up with me
Mega depression sets in
>mom always keeps vodka on deck
>5 day bender ensues
>mom notices her alcohol is gone
>freaks out
>kicks me out
>homeless
>squatted in abandoned building for a week
>smelled like garbage
>she calls the cops and said I ran away
>cops find me
>bring me to mental hospital
>stay there and they let me out on my birthday

This was almost 3 years ago and I still get super hard feels thinking about it

I've learned that. Or, I'll tell myself that, but then completely forget about it the next time a girl shows interest in me
>after I leave she seems to start messaging me less and less
>I guess the regret for what we did finally set in
>the cute morning messages she'd send me stopped
>the talk about what we were going to do when we saw each other stopped
>the talk about how much we liked each other stopped
>even when I came back things were different
>I tried to believe they weren't but they were
>Late January
>her and I end up at a friend's house
>don't really plan on it but end up staying the night
>ironically it's the same friend whose house we were at when we first started getting physical(ish) when she sat in my lap that night
>her and I sleep together on the floor with a blanket, nowhere else to sleep
>we end up making out again, feel each other up, but no sex
>this was probably a mistake but we do it anyway
>after that it's back to how she was after I left, kind of distant
>ask her if she even wants to keep doing this
>she says she doesn't know
>ask her if we should just stop
>she says she doesn't know
>ask her what she wants
>she says she doesn't know
cont.

goddammit OP it's a greentext story not a fucking novel

I told you it was going to be long, and yeah, I won't deny that it's normie as shit because it is, but I just want to put my story out there
>February
>she talks to me less and less, I always end up being the one to text first
>still in denial that things are over, don't want to believe it
>eventually start accepting later that month that this is just how things are and that I should move on
>try and tell myself that I can just be friends with her and nothing more
>try and find interest in other girls but can't because they aren't her
>she and her bf are still in a shitty relationship, they argue a lot
>start to realize she probably only slept with me because I'm friends with him
>realize I was pretty much just a tool of silent revenge
>slowly start to get over her
>late February
>her and I end up staying up late together, eventually end up getting physical again
>this pretty much deceives me into thinking she still likes me
>starts the cycle over again of self doubt and feeling like shit all the time afterward
>end up deciding to just tell her everything, worst case scenario she just tells me to fuck off and it's finally over
>tell her everything, tell her what she meant to me, tell her that she made me feel disposable
>actually keep my shit together somehow while letting it all out
>ask her if she meant it when she said she loved me
>her initial response was something along the lines of "I didn't not mean it"
>she probably realized how that sounded and immediately followed it up with "yes"
>I want to believe her but I can't
cont.

>falling in love
What a feg lol

Really the only nu male here is you for developing feelings
Alpha males dont care about that gay normie shit, they just come up with things to survive.
Look at a list of people who ever invented something useful and/or changed the world, then look at their life. Notice something?
Youre a failed normie, youll never make it in life

>ask her

Why?
She's willing to cheat on her bf, your friend, with you and you're going to ask her what she wants? Take a step back from the situation and realize just how stupid that sounds. She's playing the field with the two of you, trying you out.

It's likely she did/does have feelings for you but she clearly doesn't know what she wants beyond having a good time.

Also imagine if you will that your friend discovers all of this has been happening and decides to amicably step away and let you two live happily ever after. Why would you ever trust her?

Be happy you aren't a virgin and that you got to experience sex with a teenage girl while you were a teenager and end it at that.

Sorry user, I just kind of need to vent. Excuse the blogposting
>still friends after I tell her everything
>not much happens in March, I still just kind of felt like shit the whole time
>end of March
>we usually see each other maybe 1-2 times a week
>she asks me some random day if I want to go to her place for a couple hours before she has to do something
>fuck it why not
>just kind of chill for a bit
>she ends up getting closer and closer to me
>surprise surprise, we end up making out again
>surprise surprise, I'm a fucking retard and start thinking this will change anything
>we remain flirty throughout the following week, though, into early April so I guess it's a little different than the other times
>then, about a week or two ago she becomes distant again
>she takes a while to respond to my messages, usually only 1-3 word replies
>figure this is finally it, it's over
>we usually see each other every Thursday night
>last Thursday (2 days ago) she invited her bf to what is normally just her and I
>kind of awkward
>kind of shitty
>makes me want to kill myself, it feels like she did it to spite me for some reason
>since then I've been giving her the cold shoulder
>not sure what I want to do
>suddenly now that I'm not responding to her texts she wants to talk a lot
>suddenly now that I'm sending 1-2 word replies she's trying to keep conversations going
>suddenly now she's worried about me and asking if I'm okay
I don't fucking know what to do with myself lads. Thanks to any of you user who read my overlong shitty story, but this is what has been going on for the last half a year almost. I know I should just try and cut her out like that one user said, but I don't have it in me. I have to see her again tomorrow night and I'll be drinking, what should I do?

I've thought about all those things, and I honestly don't even know what to think myself. I know that even if things did somehow work out she'd probably cheat on me. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and you're right user, I'm being stupid about it. I guess I could try and focus on what you said, just being glad I got to experience something, but it's hard. Thanks for your advice.

tell her to fucking making a choice and stick by it
i had a similar experience, only in my case she turned out to be bi and when i found out i flipped my shit all over her, ignored her completely for a couple of weeks and she came crawling back

4 years together since and i monitor her interactions,PM'S etc

we also play alot of vidya and watch animu

>moral of the story is that if she fucking loves you she will stay with you and if she doesn't she will stutter and remain silent

be selfish be an asshole and be a dick, apparently women are willing to tolerate that shit if you're funny and decent looking

Wow... She causes alot of trouble! She just needs to straight up decide what she wants and grow a backbone. It's not fair on you (or the other guy) to be practically teased by her. I mean she's probably not a horrible person but she needs to stick to some kind of commitment. Idk I guess you you could try and really seriously talk things through with her and ask her what is going on, that you can't continue like this and until she has a proper look at her feelings it's never going to work. And don't take 'I don't know' as an answer. Bullshit. We can all always do better than that, if she doesn't want to speak it, get her to write it down - idk. It's just unfair on you man.
Also, a proper serious talk should probs not be attempted at the party so if you can find another time to meet up it would probably go better.

I'm not really sure I have it in me to be an upfront asshole to her. I still care too much about her, more than I should. I can't even feel angry anymore. I just feel empty, like nothing matters.
Getting a straight answer with her is extremely difficult as well, regardless as to what it is I'm asking, but trying to get a definite answer to all these things is definitely a good idea

fucking ghost that roastie, shes obviously a dishonest, inconsistent asshole who is just using you

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I'm definitely not going to try and talk to her about it tomorrow, but I guess I probably should try and talk it out. I've already tried that once before and, like you said, I got a lot of nonanswers. I'll see if I can get her to talk with me about it, thanks user.

remain weak and you'll pay for it dearly, show her that you hold the fucking leash and she'll follow like a good little dogge.

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>I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and you're right user, I'm being stupid about it.

You're what 19? 20? Most people in your age group have no idea what they want and I know plenty of people older than you that still have no idea what they want. If you want meaningful companionship from someone your sexually attracted to do you think this girl will be able to give that to you long term? Do you think you'll be able to properly give that to someone in return? Maybe you should ditch all of this shit and just focus on building yourself up for the time being.

Or not, whatever it's your life to fuck with.

I think that's probably what I needed to hear, thank you user. I'll try and focus more on myself and just making myself a better person. You're probably right that she's only going to make things worse for me in the end. I guess I'll try and figure out what do do about her and just try to build myself up in the meantime

you lie to your friend by cheating with his GF
and she's fucking with you and cheats on her BF

clearly a match made in heaven

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ive resigned to the belief that the only way i'll actually kill myself is via an impulsive act, this is really hard to cope with seeing as how i constantly think about killing myself, so i cant really wait for a surprise negativity to kickstart an attempt. every time i get distracted from socializing the bad feelings always come back ten-fold, i feel the only way i'll get in the mode to kill myself would be to do some socializing and then run off that downhill slope

Sounds like you honestly don't want to do it if it's conditional, then

the funny thing is, i actually dont want to. i see tons of beauty and worth in life, but i cant cope with being who i am, garbage human. it's this tug of war that really induces the hesitation
>conditional
well it isnt really conditional. when i go out i still feel awful i just have to bottle it up more so i dont freak out in public

>caring about 3D women
That was your first mistake.

She sees you as a toy.
She wants attention, sex, etc
She's not in love with you.
You should move on or get your heart broken everytime you leave her.
Gl user

Why do you not just talk to her about it or something?
How long have you known her?

Shes just using you, these hoes aint loyal, block the bitch and move on

Look lad, she's just another cunt, using you for some action on the side while she is with her bf. Forget her, just drop the whore.

Wow, it seems though
Are you really in love with her?

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