ITT: Austitic things you do

>be me
>be frequent pisser
>one day I flush mid-piss
>thinking WTF?
Each time gets worse.
>now, I immediately flush right before I pass
I think I need help

> Get twitches in my arms
> Basically have to violently shake my hands for a second.
> Guess its just the autistic way I release excess energy... idk...

>have a positive interaction with a girl
>go on obsessive fantasies about getting close to her only to drive her away by being a self destructive piece of shit
Kill me

>someone asks me to get something for them
>I have to ask them exactly where it is
>ask exactly what it looks like
>ask how big it is
>ask how many of it they want
>they get mad because explaining is taking too long so they just get it themselves

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>G to the bathroom
>Sit in the toilet for a long time listening to music pretending to be a hero
>Moving like i'm fighting while i'm at the toilet even if I don't have to go

Just end me please

>Dance When Bored
Need i say more?

This happened to me a few times, but the strongest one was with Natalie Portman's character in Black Swan. She was so cute and innocent. I am over that phase now though

Blink and breathe manually. You are doing it too now

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>wash my hands with very hot water for a long time

Maisie Williams

I still world-build on a shitty fantasy my friends and I did when we were 12

I'm 25

I do that too. Are we autistic or do normal people do that too?
Also
>can't enjoy music unless i tap along to the beat so i often do it in public
And I listen to high bpm music aswell

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Get on my level, norman.
>fall in love with a cartoon character and still look at pictures of her tenderly after 9 years
She isn't even from an anime.

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its ok OP, I fell in love with this alien from mass effect.
He just treated me so kindly and tenderly.

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i gotta know who is it pls

he's bro tier but he's brittle af.

he's like a kinder egg and the toy inside is a big ol heart

who is she? dont leave us hanging

Fuck-a you user

O-ok. It's Mirta from that girly cartoon i saw when i was 13. It's really hard to find any good pics of her, since italian faggots couldn't care less to draw her decently and fan art almost doesn't exist.

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oh, wynx club
I had a doll of her.

Same, but I'm a drawfag and it's my main hobby.

>a doll of her
Do you happen to have some pics? I've never found anything like this.

I write fan-fiction about my life.

>sometimes when talking I accidentally stop making sounds so if I'm saying "I like your car" it comes out as "I like your c"
>hit myself in the head with a rock and gave myself a concussion one time in college so that I would have an excuse for my poor grades
>don't know what to do with my arms and find them in weird positions sometimes
>made up personalities for my cat and dogs and tell my parents what they say to me
>speak in a childish voice when talking to my parents
>suck at everything I do and can't hold down a job for more than a few months before they get sick of my incompetence
>peel the skin off my lips until they bleed
>tripped on DXM one time at my job and went home early pretending I was sick
>have memories that aren't mine
>went on a rant about how women are all filthy sluts in front of my Chad coworker, although to be fair, he agreed with me
>only wear track pants, hate jeans

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keep plastic lollipop stick in my mouth after eating lolipop like it's a toothpick
also still eating lolipops

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google winx club dolls, I think they have one of every character.

>used to go on /fa/ occasionally
>browsing a haircut thread
>an user mentions something about "NoPoo"
>he says doing NoPoo is good for your hair
>don't even think about it twice, it makes sense. not pooping for a long period of time would mean your body has all the time in the world to extract all the vitamins and minerals from your poop, right?
>go over a week without pooping
>take a MASSIVE shit
>my hair feels slightly better though so it must be working
>go another week without taking a shit
>finally i decide to look up on it on the internet
>find out it means no shampoo

i still can't believe i could be that retarded. it all just clicked in my head at the time, i didn't even consider it could mean something else. poo is poo right?

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I start to grow really attached to people that talk and are nice to me

It still hurts when I learn that they are in a relationship

Hang in there fellow retardbro

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write it down

I used to keep count of the times I masturbated ever since I started cuming at 14 years old. I named the pics I downloaded (I masturbate to images usually) after the number, like "First, thirteenth, forty seventh". I eventually stopped at like 50.

>remember embarrassing thing
>out loud say "Dude just kill yourself already"

I'm scared I'm gonna say it in public, I literally can't control it

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>meet people for the first time
>give them full respect and attention
>have to see them a second time
>cannot interact with them beyond saying hello
>it only degrades from there
>end up alienating them to the point where they don't even speak to me anymore

wtf is wrong with me

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post some draws then, map of world and capital city

Yeah, I do that too. I curse, twitch, make an angry face, make "grrrr" or high-pitched noises, sometimes even punch myself in the face or bite down my fist.

i play counter strike and every time i get killed i just say the most flaming raging shit irl

>just kys fucking loser bitch idiot loser
>wow youre so boring kys loser
>fuicking faggot loser bitch retard

it's usually something like that.

>Vaguely attractive woman giving me more than 2 seconds of attention
>Start to get boner

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I feel the need to stand next to a wall in public events/places. Probably a bad idea if someone decides to shoot out.

lolno, I never show my drawings to anyone.

In a crowded public place it's always good to know the exits and your distance from them.
It's also good to keep your back consistently to the wall and your attention to the room.

why?you are an anonymous autist here.

>tfw people always ignore me in these threads

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lkhjlk

>Can interact with any number of strangers throughout the day and act completely normal towards them
>If i have to speak to someone i live with or someone who i know i will meet again i act like a complete fucking retard or am just too scared to say anything
i hate myself

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I do the same thing. Because as a child growing up if I even had a conversation with a girl I would be teased by my family and friends for having a crush on them and that made me afraid to pursue girls romantically for fear of being judged or ridiculed so I never even tried so now I am a 19 year old virgin who has never been in a relationship ha ha thanks family

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Same but I'm 29. You'll get used to it user.

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>i wince/flinch at loud noises when some clap or when i drop something or when someone touches me

>i poop at the floor because i can poop so much better with this technique

>because im schizoid i always think that everyone is against me and hate all people before i met them

>im so autistic that i got fired from my last job

and it was a shitty warehouse job

>literally say ">implying" out loud
>accidentally called my boss a 'fuckin' roastie' to her face once and somehow didn't get fired
>speaking under 7 or 8 layers of irony at all times so no one can ever tell whether or not I'm being sincere
help
the Jow Forums memes are taking over

I always get fired after one or two weeks at those jobs

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i chew on my tshirts and pens all the time cant help myself

you didnt get fired because normal people do not even know what roastie means and you are autistic enough to forget that

when i get a job somewhere, the first couple of weeks i get there early and on time everyday, but after a while i get too comfortable and start coming in late, thinking it won't matter that much. suddenly i'm coming in 30-45 minutes late everyday and i get fired.i can't stop doing this.

I do not know what this means.

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I don't want to get used to it. I want to be able to just have a girlfriend and not have my family or friends tease me or make fun of me because of my choice.

People don't realize how bad teasing can be at a young age and how much it can imprint on you and fuck you up.

>hold my breath when pissing
>nearly pass out every time

I just hate the smell of urine so much and the thought of breathing it is too disgusting for me.

I'm the snake with when my parents anyone smiles at me. Since I was little something happened that convinced me that people weren't smiling at me they were laughing at me or thinking something .it sucks I still have to control it to this day.

I understand what you're going through user. The next four or five years are going to be hell for you. You're still on your descent to full robothood. As a failed normie you still crave a gf and see women as something you desperately need to obtain. Once you become a true robot you will feel differently.
By the time I was 24 I didn't even want a gf anymore. Women gross me out now and I no longer see them as desirable. I am content being alone.

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Smoke cigars, put them out and throw them in the ground then come back and pick them up and smoke them

cigars are the fedora of smoking.
vapers are the soy hole of smoking.

>Check the last thread in the catalog before creating a new thread to see if it deserves to be killed or not

Same as you but anime characters instead

Refuse to show my drawings to anyone because I have a crippling fear of being mocked.
Also this.

>>only wear track pants, hate jeans
this.
i have 4 pairs of track pants, but only 1 pair of jeans i rarely touch.

>be me, 6th grade
>have a huge af obsessive crush on a girl classmate
>everytime she goes out to go to the bathroom, I follow
>classroom was small, so about 30 or so people staring at me creepily following girl outside

>be me, 10th grade
>have a huge crush on a girl, an upperclass
>always pass by their classroom just to see her see me
>always use going to the canteen as an excuse

>be me, 11th grade
>same crush as previous grade
>now try to avoid her SO MUCH because it's gone awkward for me (and maybe for her)

I keep expecting life to get better

I fucking do this all the time. I think people at work have started noticing that i silently mouth shit to myself as well.

>Get unironically enraged at the sound of screaming babies/children
DESU, it's not like I'm ever going to be a father anyway, so it's not like it'll ever be a problem. But it's literally to the point that I get the desire to be physically violent if it isn't promptly taken care of. I can deal with it if the parent is at least trying, but if they're just on their phone or otherwise just flat out ignoring their child, I get extremely pissed.
At least that rage is mostly directed at the shitty parents and not the baby. I may be autistic and robotic, but I'm not that fucked in the head. I think. I hope.

>remember something embarassing
>start breathing really heavily and lunch my bed

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Punch*
Origionalida

>hate jeans
i have one pair of jeans, youd think i hate them too but thats the only pair of jeans i own and i only wear jeans ..

>walked with my right arm locked to my side pretending im a kgb abent

I kept cutting my leg on a nail thats poking out under my table and i started finding pleasure in it, ntm whenever i wear shorts people give me weird looks

>generally fake stories, not just about sex and girls, literally anything
eventually it gets to the people who hang out with me alot and they call me out on it, and i get unironically angry at them for not believing me

>afraid of looking at other kids, percieved imaginary hatred from peers

>this
cant count how many times i did the wrong thing due to lack of instructions, then got yelled at, now im traumatized

I do it too fren I know that feel
MEW makes me feel some way ;-;