Gave up on getting grills

How big? is it circumcised? its one thing to have a tiny penis its another to have it physically hurt when you touch it.

It'll probably happen while you're doing the other stuff that you enjoy doing. Just don't think about it and it's not something you have to admit since it's not always under your control.

>its just gonna happen
This is probably true for normal people, but for us, i feel like this won't happen.

i can blend in w/ normies pretty well, but i dont know if i can truly relate to them deeply. So used to being hurt by others i nationally distance myself from others.

Why does it seem unrealistic? Previous experiences?

Yeah, you don't really seem "hurt", just indifferent. But in my opinion, that's the perfect starting position. You shouldn't "want" to be in a relationship prior to the relationship. Anyone who's good enough to commit to have to be an unexpected arrival into your life. I hate when people are looking for a gf/bf, because it ruins true love in my eyes. When you truly love someone, you love them for who they are, not because they fill your preestablished idea of what a sexual/romantic partner should be like. Therefore, love has to be a surprise.

But if you close yourself in too much, then its of course harder to allow yourself to be surprised. But is it all to unreasonable to believe that life might have a surprise in store for you yet?

it's uncircumsied. fml

dude, pls go to the doctor. Having a micodick is of course a problem in and of itself, but at least you can ditch the pain. also it might be connected to other dangerous healt-condition issues

i dont see myself being the person able to have a long term relationship.
I dont want to open myself up to anyone, at all.

IDK if anyone can accept me. Its best to assume it wont happen. But when i do, i dont see much life ahead of me.
it could be phismosis or whatever its called, do what said and see a doc, it could be deadly.

I appreciate the concern anons, but i'm mad scared of surgeries. Also, i had this pain since i was a little kid, and it hasn't worsened a little bit since then. So i guess i'm safe? idfk i will go to the doctor one day i promise

It may not necessarily be surgery, its good to get it checked out.
/10 describe the pain?

I understand the feeling of not wanting to open up. When I was 20, I felt the same way, and I still struggle with opening myself up emotionally.

But again, I believe its the correct position from which to begin. It's actually very similar to religious belief. A true believer has to begin as a committed atheist, and always has to remain atheist at some level, in order to truly believe. If not, the belief is just "assumed knowledge".

In the same way, if you're ever going to truly love someone, it has to be a love that overcomes your current solitude. And it has to be something you yourself cannot anticipate. In your situation right now, you can't imagine things being different; but the point is exactly that the other person has to break YOUR expecations. That is of course something extremely vulnerable, because it means allowing someone other than yourself being more important to you than yourself. But love is this "leap of faith".

Continuing to assume that "it won't happen" is of course the safe option; but why chose safety, if it doesn't make you happy?

The further away from the tip the more it hurts. There's no pain at all on the tip, but on the worst parts i'd say like 7/10
feels like a really sharp sting

Thats not healthy, talk to your doctor user.>Continuing to assume that "it won't happen" is of course the safe option; but why chose safety, if it doesn't make you happy?

Its the most realistic outcome, i guess. Im sort of accepting that.

Thanks for all the positive messages though.

No problem :)

Is it the most realistic outcome though? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy for sure, because if you close yourself in for the encounter, the encounter will never happen. But I guess that's the harsh choice; open up yourself for the encounter and live in the vulnerable state of hoping for something that might or might not happen, or live safely, solitarily and hopelessly.

I was convinced I would be forever single, but after a lot of thinking, building up courage and some alcohol, what I believed was impossible turned out to be possible. So I guess that's why I'm preaching the "good word" now.

So in summary; no one can promise you that things turn out well, but it's equally unrealistic to assume the opposite as well. Should one risk it or live safe? Impossible to say. I took the risk and won, and therefore of course love the risk; but how can I speak for those who risked it and lost? But surely there are some of them who still are happy they took the risk, and I can of course still lose what I have.

I wanted to make some friends too but I just can't keep a friendship going and now I'm at a point where I don't even know where to meet people.
So I decided to keep my mind occupied with other things that don't involve other people.
Like gardening, drawing and cycling.
Immensely gratifying, keeps my mind of the loneliness. Been trying to make some bonsai too, it's funny how those little plants mean more to me than any human bean.

I also avoid media, like anime and tv shows, those also cause unnecessary pain.

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How can i open myself up to the situation?

Good question. In one sense, it's of course impossible to answer. The true encounter with the other is unpredictable. That's how I experienced it; what I truly thought, without a doubt, was impossible, turned out to be possible (she loved me). In retrospect, I see how it was in fact possible, but it was impossible for me to understand this prior to the "turn of events". So, I belive, it would have to be for you; it has to be a turn of events that you could not be able to predict. You therefore cannot calculate on beforehand what the correct approach is.

Still, there are some calculations that can be made. For example, if you're able to admit the finitude of your perspective, that's a first step to opening yourself to the situation. Admit that, although it might be inconceviable for you now, an event might occur that wholly breaks with your expectations. Your field of vision right now contains everything that's reasonable to you; but is it unreasonable to consider that your field can be expanded by something which comes surprisingly from beyond that field?

An other tips I can give you is one my mother gave me early on in my life, and which I have never forgotten. "In regards to relationships, don't take them too seriously at first". Allow yourself to get to know people, like them and even fall in love with them, without taking it too seriously. Just see where it goes. Become friends, share secrets, get intimate, "open yourself"; and if they turn out to be dicks, then don't take that too seriously as well. Being relaxed, happy and carefree is important if we're ever going to be able to withstand the intense vulnerability of social relationships, both romatic and platonic.