I hate not having the balls to approach and ask out pretty girls REEEEEEEEEE

I hate not having the balls to approach and ask out pretty girls REEEEEEEEEE

out of all possible fears this is the one I'm cursed with REEEEEEEEE!!!! what do???

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Like all fears you find the courage to do it anyways and see how unfounded the fear was.

but how do I get the courage. I'm 21 btw

Start small and maybe just approach a few women and make small talk. Once you get comfy doing that try doing small talk and add some compliments and casually ask for number.

life is short and the worst thing you can do is let fear control you

but what if fear already controls me
what if it started controlling me before i even knew it
what's the general advice for that huh

this image is literally 70% of girls on NYC-area tinder

well make it your life goal to face your fears

think of things that make you uncomfortable and force yourself to do them

yoda wasn't joking when he said fear leads to suffering

I used to be afraid of asking girls out until my boss hired a guy that, as it seemed to me at the time, knew everything about girls. We immediately became friends as we were the same age (24) and everyone else in the company was a lot older.
When the topic of girlfriends came up he sort of recognised I was a virgin and he just told me he'll fix it and that I should start going out with him.
He is much shorter than me (he's like 170) and doesn't look all that great but dresses very well and behaves not like the pussy that he looks like but like a man with an immense amount of confidence and belief in himself which I was astounded by.

So I went out with him and on the way to the club we talked and explained some things to each other. His family is old and very wealthy and he works just to get some working experience while I work to help my family live. He said he'd borrow me some money and that he doesn't expect me to give it back to him. He gave me 500 Euros and told me to buy him and everyone I want drinks and act like I own everyone which was hard at first but when I got drunk it came up as something natural. He knew everyone at the club and we parked in front of it because some guy was saving him a spot and everyone saw us coming there in a new Mercedes.

Somehow later that night girls started coming up to us themselves and I kept buying bottles of whatever and sending rounds and the last thing I remember was making out with a girl on the dance floor and fucking her in the toilet.

I will be forever grateful to this man for fixing my life (thanks Daniel).

That's like sticking your hand in front of a blade

How? this is why you approach girls you do not know in public places that are relaxed and meant for socializing. Try a festival or a coffee shop. Then just try try try. You lose nothing. What is the worst that can happen? She screams "fuck you loser!" and runs away? As long as you look at time and place, and don't chase or trap women (hitting on servers that have to be nice to you, sitting next to women that are eating and cannot easily leave their table), approaching women is fair game. If they don't like you they just walk away, it is how the system works. Women loved being approached. Don't open up with, "I wanna have sex", you escalate socialization. Small talk, number, eventually set up a date. Even dating is not a guaranteed gf contract. You get to know each other until both of you agree to be "exclusive" or whatever. If not break it away, you just gotta step up and try. If you do it enough without caring, you will get results. Also why you hit on women you don't know. Hit on your coworker and shit gets weird. Stranger? No one will know but you and her

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go the FUCK back 2 reddit faggot op
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>just throw around money and you get laid

Man it really is true.

Just understand the majority of women you meet in life will never fuck you, and go from there.

that's why you'l always be a virgin

damn thanks for this

I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what is on that fucking plate

brownie, ice cream and candle

Holy fucking shit thank you user. This shit was driving me crazy, couldn't figure out the green thing

There's a pudgy girl in one of my classes who I'm grouped with I'm thinking of approaching, especially because odds are we won't have any classes together after this. I've been able to talk with her about various topics without getting bored and she has a similar slacker mindset to me. Plus if she lost a little weight she'd go from practice-gf material to keeper-gf.

Wish me luck guys, I'm gonna take a chance once this project is over and done with.

It's funny because you always hear people say stuff like "Most guys are nervous around girls they like" but that's obviously bullshit because most guys get girlfriends and lose their virginity before they are in their 20's.

I guess most guys have a "low level" of nervousness when it comes to talking to girls. They don't understand the full blown panic that guys like me experience.

>No one will know but you and her
OP, do not listen to this guy. Women talk. They talk to other women, who then talk to even more women. If you act like a creep and get rejected, you're fucked.

dubs checked, but take your chance now

This is not actually true.

There isn't a Facebook group of all the women in the world. Of course you'll be tagged a loser in their friend group but even then there might be a girl that thinks you're cute in that same group and doesn't mind that you're a loser.

probably a good thing considering how ugly you are.

What is "small talk"?
Can you give a real world example to of a situation where said "small talk" could be initiated? (also the topic of the talk)
These are serious questions and a testament of how I'm freaking lost at the age of 33 while being a khv. (ie please be gentle and no bully)
Thanks.

You can't have small talk if you never do anything you're having fun doing.

Small talk is about anything fun you did in the past week or so. It's dumb small things like this is what I talked about today:
>my pals and I parked next to the street and used my bicycle blinkers to trick people into slowing down because they thought we were the police
>taking a camping trip to see a car race
>some goofy old professor that talked about stupid shit at the uni
>going to a rich guy's home and mistaking his wife for a cleaning lady because of how bad she looked like and how dressed she was (they're doing reconstruction of their home and we were hired to make the plans)

Just don't talk when everyone else wants to talk. Nobody actually wants to hear what you're saying.

That answers my first question, thanks.
Now how to initiate "small talk" to a stranger in random circumstances?
Any examples and advice?

user you just don't understand
Small talk is impossible for people like me

I never got the courage. It's unfortunate. I've done much more harrowing shit that required a lot more balls than talking to girls in my life.

>Served on frontlines of Afghanistan during most deadly years of the war
>Tried(failed) to join the French Foreign Legion
>Did a few seasons on an commercial fishing boat on the Bering sea
>Smuggled contraband internationally
>Solo trips through third world countries

But I have never gotten over the mental hurdle of approaching a women with romantic/sexual intent. Now I'm a 29 y/o KV who has never in his life asked out a woman or been on a date.

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>Have lots of money
>get laid easily

you don't say

>fucking her in the toilet
interesting.

Literally anything. Begin with mundane questions like, "Do you go to school around here?" "I was wondering around and noticed your college shirt, I had a sister that went there. Do you go there?" The bar to get a girl's # is dirt low. You just have to talk to them and establish rapport, any kind whatsoever. A 5 minute conversation about "what did you think about the movie". Anything positive, open ended, and not too cringey. Occasionally follow up with other open ended questions, but contribute by talking normally. Just go with the flow, be yourself. Imagine a barrier between you and her, you are slowly breaking them down. Don't spill your guts, just remember to always say positive things. Do not go into a story about how much you hate your life.

Girl: "Yeah I went to UC Davis!"
You: "That's really neat, so did I! What did you major in?"
"Biology, I really like animals."
"I majored in computer science, I really enjoyed it since I was a kid. I want to work for Apple..."
*mundane, small talk. You can talk about whatever you want as long as it positive and not fucking cringey like talking about Jow Forums*
"can I get your number?"
"Of course!"
*Get #*

Then step 2: texting. This is where you open up gradually. seeing how she is like and whether you both are compatible. It is not life and death, don't keel over and die if you find out this girl is just not into you. She has to please you as much as you please her. Have one conversation a day with her, get another date organized to get face to face time. This is the probing period, you will gradually open up and see if you like each other or not. If no, fine, at least you have a female "friend". But hopefully you find the right girl and become lovers.

Tl;Dr, small talk is anything positive, relevant, and not cringe.

Real world examples:
*on airplane, next to girl*
"Are you visiting family in Chicago or just passing by?"
"Passing by, my family is in NYC"
"I love NYC! I visited there for Christmas, are you seeing them for vacation?"
"No, I'm going to an interview at..."
*keep the comments positive, innocent, and do not try to say sexual things. You are not trying to fuck her this instant, you just need to talk. Ask questions on occasion, do not make it an interrogation. Talk about yourself too, positive only!*
*then in a situation where she can easily leave so you are not trapping her, like at the end of a flight as you are leaving the aircraft not when you are next to her 8 hours away from the destination*
"Can I have your #?"
"yes/no"

The hardest part is coming up with innocent openers. A reason to approach girls. I once did tell a girl "I thought you looked really pretty and wanted to talk to you, can I sit here?" And it worked. We weren't compatible but I went on 2 dates with her.

Go to China - if you are White.

But how do you approach women, and where? Where is it appropriate? How do you gauge interest? How do you make your intentions clear without coming off like a creepy sex pervert? Do women think it's creepy to talk to them out of nowhere with the express purpose of trying to fuck them?

It's not about approaching. I'm just a boring fuck that doesn't know how to say anything after hi.

It wouldn't matter if you had the confidence to approach girls if you don't have the looks for them to not be immediately disgusted by you. if you do have the looks and just need confidence then you should fuck of back to facebook.

I could make your life very short and then you'll understand why it might have been wise to listen to your fear.

This is both impossible and torture for me
I hope you know that

you guys realize that there are youtube videos on how to improve at approaching women?

I don't believe those

Lies fabricated by charlatans.

Most of the stuff on YouTube don't work brainlet.

why don't you believe them?

fucking pussy lmao.

the solution is to ask out the ugly girls instead user

What types of places could I go to approach girls?

People say go to the bars, but everyone at the bar is in a group of 3-10 people (or they're at least 10 years older than me).

People say maybe a coffee shop, but if a girl is sitting by her self clearly doing something or is busy, what excuse am I to have to interrupt her?

People say school, but I already graduated from the University 5 years ago, and all my male friends are people I knew from College.

People say friends of friends, but all my friends only have me and like 2 other loner guys as friends.

People say events, but when I go to events that I like (again, it's people at least 10 years older than me, or a guy with his girlfriend). For example I do classical concerts twice a month and it's very rare to see a girl in her 20s by herself.

How do you approach them?
I never see women out on their own. Always with bfs

Everywhere. You know how Chad is always talking about chick radar? Your new job is to go about your everyday life and talk to attractive women. When you approach girls, don't go in with the mindset that you have to have sex with them this instant, you are just getting a number. It is like you are a business hiring for the position of gf and you are talent scouting. Visit public places more, did you visit your library recently? What is a cool place in town you have not visited yet? Any parks? Theaters are a good places to visit, find times when chick flicks are coming around. I visit art galleries, I took an art appreciation class and know what the paintings and painters are in my area. Secondly, a small group of females is totally approachable. If they are in groups of 3 or less, totally talk to them as long as they are not in mid-conversation.

Tinder dude, or okcupid. Copy and tweak successful bios from things like ok cupid subreddits. It is how everyone dates now

once you've learned the basics, increase SMV (sexual market value) to attract higher quality women

In the area/suburb that I work at, basically everyone is 10+ years older than me. Of the people who are my age are other 20 something tech guys who are just stopping there during their lunch break.

I mean I guess I could go to the actual downtown of the big city I'm next to, but I would feel like a total creep just walking around the city after work looking for girls that I think are cute to talk to. How am I supposed to break that thought process? Even then, most of the people I ever find in the downtown part of the city are just office works, government employees, or tourists.

I tried OkCupid for a year and the types of girls that would respond back where awful. As in couldn't hold a basic conversation in person or had no interest to continue to date. I also just want to learn the skill of talking to people in person, and I would love to have female friends. I feel that if I could have at least a decent amount of female friends, I would find it easier to find a girlfriend.

>thinks Tinder and Okcupid work for robots
Just lurk moar. They're the reason we're in this mess

This is all a combined arms strategy that will take freaking years. Getting a gf is like a second job. Use cold approaching, use all the dating apps, lift, get a haircut, become /fa/, go on nofap, fucking ask any female friends you have if they know any girls. Anything to accomplish the mission! Most men are too fucking lazy to do this, and it is the reason they are unhappy. The second you get a marginal amount of success the fear will be broken. Go out by yourself and hit on women. Just do it you fucking pussy. If I wanted to play a concerto at Carnegie hall, I would buy a violin and practice it. Not go on Jow Forums and bitch about why they won't let me play at Carnegie hall. I just do, even if I fuck up. Do it all. Take tons of shitty posed normie pics to tweak the tinder profile. Rip amazing okcupid bios for your own so you look awesome. It is shitty af, I wish they just arranged marriages like they do in Saudi Arabia. But you are not an oil prince you are an American so you gotta do it this way. Just keep on working for it. Nothing bad will happen to you (if you hit on women you do not know). Women love being hitted on. Women crave male attention. Women want to hop on your dick, but you need to do step 1 and let them know you exist. It sucks, but the clock is ticking and nobody gives af about why you failed. You know what you need to do, do it

I honestly don't get why so many of you guys are so afraid of women. Women are harmless and easy to talk to. Other men on the other hand are scary to talk to or even look at.

All really motivating stuff to read, and really makes me want to talk to people. I have an idea (that my friends think is silly) that I'll go to random bars maybe 15 minutes away from my house talk to or attempt to talk to guys/girls by themselves, then try to see if they'll let me in their friend circle and maybe just maybe their friend circle will have a cute girl that will like me. My friends said that was just "using" people, if I'm only befriending people because I think I could meet a girl via them.

But again as for the OkCupid/Tinder stuff - it just depresses me too fucking much. It's too hard for the average guy, and the few dates I did get didn't go great or ended up with girls that were super incompatible.

Skip the middleman and go straight for the girls. They can lead you to other friends. If you don't look like a cretin, women will be willing to talk to you. You already been on dates? You're doing well then. The women have to please you as much as you please them. It is why you date them, to see if they are your gf material or not. Keep on going

[ here]
Thank you for your answers and advice.
I'll try to internalise them and who knows they might help me out even today.

Those videos are strictly aimed and directed by and for normies not losers like us.

The first thing they are gonna tell you is

>Be Yourself
>change the way you dress and look
>start doing things you have no interest on just for the sake of finding a loving partner

Basically, you have to be yourself without being who you really are.

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I can't even make eye contact with a cute girl. I'm the type that will stare at a cute girl across a room and if she sees me, i'll pretend to be looking at something else and then get out my phone and look at it.

I sort of got over this by waving at them and smiling, but nothing really happens afterwards

Do NOT fucking do this. Real story:
>Be me
>Uni
>sometimes saw women look at me while I was staring at them
>would quickly turn head away
>thought I was being "considerate" by not staring
>friend comes up and says to my face, "I was talking to some girls and you came up, they think you don't like girls cuz every time they look at you, you turn your head away."
>thought I was ghosting
>realized that I actually looked like a weirdo woman hating incel by doing this
>surprised how well women knew my personality by one head gesture

If they are a stranger, smile at them. They will either smile back or think you are weird and they will look away. If you need to stare up at a crowd and not just down at your food/beer, stare at someone like 10-15 meters away. So don't stare at the person in the seat next to you. Look down the aisle and stare at someone 4 seats away in front of you. You can watch people from a distance but it is too far for anyone to think you are staring at them. And never turn your head away from a girl when they look at you. Either smile back, or start staring at an object past them so you don't look like you are deliberately trying to avoid them.

10mg Adderall and two shots.

I never go to the city alone. I was thinking that maybe this Saturday I'll go to the city by myself, walk around from place to place trying to talk to girls after having like 2-3 beers from some bar.