Mental health thread

autism, depression, social anxiety. can't get help, live user, what should I do?

i think i understand where u are coming from. i feel so broken i function just enough so that my loved ones don't notice. i feel like i am just going to wait until i die.

I don't know. Social anxiety is a tough one, I used to have it pretty bad and be a sweatshirt wearer but I've stopped giving a fuck. I think at some point apathy takes over and you just stop caring.
Maybe try some self-help stuff? I understand talking to a doc can be pretty fucking hard. By the way, adderall is a miracle drug. Just saying.

>live user
live alone

I'm 33 years old, I don't think it's going to go away. like the other user said, I can't get out of my head. I've asked a bunch of doctors for help but they won't give me any meds. I've worked most of my adult life but, not for the last 6-7 months, i'm getting worse as get older, I can't get back out there.
>adderall
I wish I could get some user

anxiety is my bane. i can't do anything without crippling anxiety. benzos and therapy is the only thing that allowes me to scrape by day to day

I almost got a script. I stole some once and took them and literally felt like a real human bean for a few hours. I had actual drive to talk to people. It was great. it was a 30 IR and I didn't feel any euphoria.

>deflected the depression by drilling it in that you're worthless garbage and should feel like it
>deflected the anxiety by drilling it in that it's only obvious that no one would want to talk to you and people naturally look at freaks
>deflected the loneliness by drilling it in that no one would ever consider you a real friend let alone a potential partner
>spent literal years reinforcing these thoughts and eventually reach a point where all those negative feelings are extremely muted
>tfw you try to change and it feels like you're multiple different versions of you
>tfw your mental state degrades almost immediately to the worst it has ever been
>tfw each mood brings out a pre-loaded coping personality that makes you dissociate horribly if you try to fight it
>tfw it's almost like certain memories can only be remembered when you're in certain moods
>tfw it's like entire parts of your brain are inaccessible when you're in certain moods

I am an aspie and I have really severe depression and anxiety and for the past few days I have been a complete wreck, panic attacks everyday, disassociating like a motherfucker to the point where I don't know where I am anymore.

Should I just off myself at this point?
I don't want to be put on medication.

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I have Asperger's, visited a psychiatrist yesterday and it's likely they'll diagnose me with a cluster b or c personality disorder.

What am I in for? I'm supposed to do "cognitive behavioral therapy" and it sounds very similar to what I did to seem more normal when I was younger.

Since we're talking about all our shit I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression in high school. Ended up addicted to xanax for a while.

Is there disorder characterized by hearing noise like old TV-s make and everything flickers?

I have schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia plus depression) and schizotypal personality disorder.

Life is terrible. I'm too scared to do anything. I can't drive. I can't leave the house. I can't eat food others make for me. I feel like I'm the only human here and the rest of humanity are clones or robots. I think people can read my mind and steal my thoughts. That's just a few of my symptoms. There's much more.

Also there was this thread yesterday about OP trying to develop schizophrenia. Like why would you do that to yourself? Why? It's not fun to have. He said something along the lines of just wanting to try it out... why? It's hell. I can't comprehend on why someone would want this.

I'm getting sleepy now. I hope this thread is here when I wake up.

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>Woke up last morning, saw that a poster I bullied last night posted that my country and went to kill me
>Panicked, suddenly, it feels like I woke up again, look and see no-post
>had similar experience some months ago - my dog was killed by a car, but it repeated it self 4 times before actually waking up

I have 90% of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar Disorder but my therapist say not to dwell on it because of the fact that I have Aspergers, I just wish maybe she could at least get someone to screen me for it.

>Like why would you do that to yourself? Why? It's not fun to have. He said something along the lines of just wanting to try it out... why? It's hell. I can't comprehend on why someone would want this.
just another normalfag kid who shouldn't be here user, sorry for your troubles

I want to give you a hug and maybe go outside and hang out. It can't be that bad if you have a friend there.

I got screened yesterday and they're looking to diagnose me with a personality disorder. I have Asperger's too. I'm not sure how much it will change me but maybe I'll finally stop having so many problems with normal stuff.

Stop seeking out diagnoses like this. Doctors hate it.

Psychiatric disorders are just common clusters of symptoms. They aren't something you either have or don't like schizophrenia or small pox.

Do you feel that your psychs treatment is ineffective?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is just some fast shit designed to get you functional. They try to establish coping mechanisms to help you deal with your symptoms, psychotherapy is where they try to change your psychology to erase the causes of your symptoms I think.

All the treatments I have had so far have been ineffective.
Nothing has been stopping the empty feelings and I constantly feel like killing myself but I cannot put my family through that trauma, I just want to disappear.

Wouldn't it be so nice if we could take these things without being addicts?

All the effective treatments are addictive as hell and I have no self control.

Thank you for that. It's getting late, goodnight and thanks again

Having friends would be nice. Thanks for that. I'm getting sleepy so goodnight

I don't want depression to end. I feel like I'm more objective like this

Googled it and psychotherapy is just a broad term for non-medication treatments

Yeah. It's honestly more damaging as a teenager who wants to kill herself and be erased from history as a mistake to suddenly be reliant on covering up all her emotions with benzos all day every day.

I need some insight on what I experienced recently. Theres this new guy I work with and I get crazy anxious when he's around/talking to me. Its just a weird pit in my stomach and I want to throw up. The biggest problem is last night I was just sitting at home and got the feeling he was there starring at me. It was for a second but it freaked me out. I went into work earlier and had 2 breakdowns when he tried to talk to me. What is this and why?

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I have really bad anxiety and it seems to just get worse. I may have to go back to therapy soon but idk how much it will really help. It just sucks. I never had problems with this to this extent when I was younger, but now I can't stop overthinking shit. Really minor things will set me off and pretty soon my mind is going in all kinds of directions thinking about how I could die or how I could be a failure. Like I could be fine but in my head I have 7 different types of cancer and everyone hates me and thinks I'm a terrible person

>Like why would you do that to yourself? Why? It's not fun to have. He said something along the lines of just wanting to try it out... why? It's hell. I can't comprehend on why someone would want this.
That's the thing about actual mental illness that edgy kids and normies don't understand, it's not some fun trendy shit. It legitimately fucks up your life and is scary.

Psychoanalysis is what I was thinking of.

Huh, my psychiatrist said that they were "analyzing" me but he never said "psychoanalysis." I wonder what the difference is. He seems to like using very simple and direct words to describe his intentions.

Psychoanalysis is where they try to dig into your unconscious mind and bring the repressed fears or trauma that are causing your problems to light. He might have just meant "analyzing" in the general sense without referring to any specific psychiatric procedure. My therapist wasn't direct enough, she'd offer too many examples or state things in a strange way I couldn't understand. I should probably replace her.

Hold up. I dont go with the flow. Does that mean i have autism? I never freak out when seeing/hearing certain things. Neither do i reply with long messages. I know how to avoid people politely and im very average intelligence wise. Please dont tell me im retarded.

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I have no idea what the fuck am I experiencing
I feel like I am very useless and that nobody deserves a shitty person like me

I am afraid to get checked out because that would probably reflect on my future firearm license

Gonna confess I was the one doing the second thread. No interests, extreme coward. Only things I heard from other kids in childhood was that I stink, when I look at the mirror is see a rotten douchebag. I am also probably on Autism spectrum disorder. I am a white nationalist, but spend my time watching interracial porn, then drinking my own semen, then wiping myself, canceling all events because I feel so bad. Only things I have achieved was breaking other people's stuff. People laugh at me when I enter a room, they always try to avoid me, lie to me to avoid me. I am probably a Jew and basically non-white. I have lost ability to start a conversation normally. Probably infertile, but it does not matter because I will never get out of virginhood. I know that a lot of you think it is not that bad, but I lack any kind of idea what to do. The worst thing about is self-awareness and snowflake complex. I know there is nothing wrong with me, but can't do a shit about it. I am the ultimate untermensch. Everywhere I go I only make a mess and a fool of myself and I am 18, not gonna finish the school because too disorganized to get work done.

I'm thinking about stabbing up a high school I know with a disabled unit, just to kill. No other reason.

Alcoholism and whatever i developed in my childhood when i was abused and bullied constantly.
How do you guys even get diagnosed? Or are all of you the "self-diagnosis" meme faggots?

Also started masturbating since 6 and total porn addict since 10. I also wanted to become a transgender when I was 11 and put random objects into my ass (including other people's toothbrushes), for 2 years. I tortured my little sister and brother for disagreeing with me. I am also afraid my little brother might kill me, for extreme bullying what I still do sometimes. I pissed off a cliff at a public place. I am totally morally wrong, but only things I thought is about, what is the worst and what is the best.

I live in a constant daydream, All I've done is rock back and forth in the dark living in my thoughts, I can hold a stable job, but I'm constantly zoning out and it impacts my performance, my co-workers find me weird due to how quiet I can be.

I've went to a doctor and got antidepressants, as I daydreamed my suicide for years till somebody told me to get some help, I paced and swore for a good hour till I finely was able to call and schedule a doctor's appointment, since then, I've been able to talk openly about my problems with my family, but I'm still addicted to my daydreams, I can't focus on anything, I have ideas and things I want to do, but I have an overwhelming desire to go right back into my constant dreams. I've also impulsively spent well over $2,000 to get people in an online game to like me more.

My mother also makes all my home works. I am extremely self-centered, I only scream at her to do me food, almost never helping her. I once throw a hammer at my father's head (he still lives), because he spit at my face (I spitted at him first) but because of my mother talked to the police, I didn't get any punishment. I once crushed the my house wall, because they took my computer and phone. I left my best friend because he got a new father, who didn't let him play computer with me. I have also done multiple medical experiments on my body - I used water hose to fill my stomach with water, tried to get extreme fit (I was not fat either) by making myself a black plastic bag uniform and waiting until my fat will sweat off. You know what, I understand that schizophrenia is bad, but I don't want to continue my life like that, it is total hell, but I can't get out of bed without people pull the phone out of my hands. If I hear some kind of voices and follow them, I could not be obsessed with all shit I have ever done and probably could get rid of my addictions.

>autists welcome
>anxious people welcome
woohoo i can unironically talk about my shitty illnesses here

as time went on my autism got a lot better while my anxiety disorder got a lot worse. as a kid i would fuss over even the littlest of things cuz i didn't see them as "perfect". i'm also massively stubborn in anything i do - even to this day i never give in on doing the same repetitious shit until it's "perfect" to me. i do far less socially awkward things now but i'm a lot more scared of the world because i always feel like everybody is out to judge me or i feel like i might be a burden to people who love me. it goes as far as having trouble with taking phone calls since i'm uncomfortable with talking. i'm fine with family, but i can't make new friends because i feel like i say the wrong things and people start to ignore me and i always take it as somebody not wanting to do anything with me.

honestly thanks to Jow Forums (and other sites) i've learnt how to put a lid on my autism and not show it as much. when people say stuff like "autists don't understand emotions" for example, i'm like "okay so if that's what people see in me i'll work on this problem until i overcome it". i don't even say i have autism on the internet anymore cuz that's pretty much a meme at this point. hell, i sometimes forget i have autism since my anxiety has been more of a problem than what my autism has ever been

>he fell for the pills jew
just accept it and it's mostly okay

>Discuss treatments you've tried or your experiences in general.
they gave me pills, the mental jew to treat avpd. I stopped taking them after some time because I'm autistic enough that i actually enjoy depression and misery. everything is currently very comfy. I can be myself on the internet and talk normally because no one gives a shit about who i am here. which is like the utopic normalfag life i seek, except none of you are normals. but you are close in providing the experience.

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Am I mentally Ill? Should I seek help? From where?

Schizoaffective disorder, depressive type here.
Been sectioned twice, in the worst section, broken noses, forced oral and shit like that.

First time i was there for about a month.
Second time i was there against my will for 7 long months.

Psychiatrist told me i cant work and that i have claim for full disability.
Social services told me that even if i get full disability its very unlikely i will get any money because i haven't worked for a year,i am short 230+ days.

I am on parole, gonna be for 2 years with raised custody, drug tests have to join a social club and shit.....So far i smoke weed every day with my roommate and sometimes we go for walks in the woods.

Also i have to go to my psychiatrist every 2 weeks to get anti psychotic shots.
Shit is weird and fucked up mate.

Seriously it doesn't sound like you have autism, perfectionism is a form of obsessive thinking and while it can be attributed to autism, most autists don't really have a real grasp on perfectionist thinking. People on here need to stop diagnosing everything as autism.

OCPD is better maybe?

nah i do have it. i didnt say enough on what my autism is like cuz i have most of the stock standard traits (obsessed with niche hobbies, speaking too quickly, repetitious/stimming habits), plus i got diagnosed when i was 2. im not sure if i have OCD or not but ive been stubborn right from the very beginning and feel like crap every time i do make a mistake to a point where i cant leave it alone unless its fixed or i talk to people about it so thats a possibility

and tell me about it. i hate those people who look at people or characters on tv shows and say "oh, this guy acts strange around people, that must mean hes autistic" yeah no. it's just a weird person/character, nothing more or less. if you really want to know about the actual symptoms of autism stop calling everything that and do the research. or even talk to an actual autist's experiences, that doesn't kill your dignity

OCPD and AS comorbid

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might look further into it then and get a second diagnosis booked in. sorry bout that

Yeah same here, schizoaffective disorder. The psychotic episodes come in like a clock with a few years intervals, mostly during spring time. This shit has hampered my life so much I can't even begin to describe how I hate myself and my failures because it or just my overall spinelessness. I was brought up in a tradiotional way and with an emphasis on strong masculinity I still respect and strive for a lot. Served in the military successfully, but a psychotic episode after my initial year there (conscription btw) barred me forever from trying to aim for career military.

Now I just vent the things out at the gym, blue collar jobs and trade school. I feel like a disgrace to my father, my family and to my heritage.

31 now, already accepted it will never get permanently easier, symptoms will just fade to background sometimes for a year or two and I need to take full advantage of those windows of opportunities to make myself into a respectable man or die with my boots on trying.

being with a BPD girl is heaven and hell with 3 weeks between

why are they all whores?

>Lose ability to orgasm due to celexa
>See naked edit of Moana
>Get a nut finally
>Dick sore 12 hours later

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why do i feel mad or jealous or angry whenever i see people call themselves depressed and anxious? im both but it annoys me when people blog about it (im aware that this is what im doing but theres no other way to say it)

>chronic depression and social anxiety since 15
>finally find Jewpills that work at 20
>social anxiety still there but at least don't really want to kill myself for weeks on end
>been on them for a year
>since have routinely exercised, maintained a decent diet supplying all micronutrients, and picked up a "hobby"
>realize all meds do is slightly dull my emotions and make me not suicidal
>nothing else changed
Contemplating dropping the meds so the desire returns and hopefully I'll finally go through with it. Is there no hope for me?

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schizotypal disorder here. i cant go outside a door for more than 10 minutes. i feel like every person i pass thinks nasty stuff about me. its like the world is suffocating me and i cant do anything about it, so instead i stay inside my room and still feel like a useless piece of shit. im not really sure whether or not the world is real, sometimes its as if i see the world from a 3rd person view and no one is real.
when i was younger i was convinced that the world was like a dollhouse for someone and that something else out there were taping us and that we were just a reality tv show. kind of like the truman show.
life is hell

Holy shit you too? I gotten crazy two years in a row on the same day!
I'm

I thought that it the world was secretly filming me and making a comedy film about me.

Wow sounds eerily familiar. Also been sectioned twice, first in 2007 and then in 2016. Still riding the tail end of the last gig in the looney bin. I spent seven months straight on different wards (acute, rehabilitation) and finally in a supported living home in the hospital area. Then said fuck it and moved back to my home city and currently doing night classes in a trade school on temporary full disability. It's just due to a renewal application for at least one year more so I can finish my studies and the doc wants to put me in a SCIT therapy group, because I'm an utter shitshow among people with absolutely no recognition of what's passable human social behavior. I mean fuck those occasions when you have an appointment, you're in a mental pressure and then your brain cogwheels grind to a halt and you start babbling about the Thirty Year War atrocities in a job interview.

I also believe I stink to high heavens around people, because I rarely do anything to tidy my commieblock cube and wear the same shit for weeks on end.

Should I waste my going to see psychiatric, or I should just continue to live and see where it goes?
I have very poor judgement and need help!!!

My anxiety and depression have been causing to have sleep paralysis almost every night when I sleep.

Doesn't help either..but it makes me feel more real or something

I don't know what that is user but I was working at a place last year and experienced something very similar, something about the guy just really freaked me out.

Having legitimate autism is straight hell. No matter how hard you try everything you say sounds cheap and there's no weight behind it, because you're weird as fuck and consequently just an invalid to other people.

Anyways, I've been diagnosed since I was young. I probably have comorbidities but I'm not going to worry about it. Going to try to get put on ritalin. Wish me luck.

I'm a schizophrenic FtM transgender living in a Mens sober living house after I had to go to rehab for drug addiction. I'm very bad with people and constantly think everyone is against me and conspiring to get me thrown out. I think the guys here can see my posts if I'm connected to wifi. I think I am talking to myself all my thoughts even if my lips aren't moving. I think I talk about my dreams in my sleep and that people listen while I do it at night. I can act normally for now but it's getting worse. My maternal grandfather and father are both schizophrenic. I am actively against suicide but struggle with thoughts. I have social problems something like autism and find it hard to socialize even though I can be funny sometimes because I think everyone is only being nice to me to virtue signal.
My Mind is a mess.

>FtM transgende
gtfo tranny filth, back to /lgbt/ where you belong cunt

Hey, no need to be such an asshole to a dude(tte) so down on xer luck. I think it's miserable enough already.

Am I crazy, is this autism, schizophrenia, bipolar or just poor impulse control?

Ah you think shittalk is your ally? You merely adopted the insults. I was born in them, molded by them. I didn't see kindness until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but disgusting!

AUTISTS UNITE

How are you coping?

Are you/when were you diagnosed?
How bad is it?
What bothers you the most?
Do you feel like you're improving your social skills?
Favorite way of stimming?

I got diagnosed at age 18. 21 years old now.
I'm not exactly sure how bad it is, but I'm HFA so at least I'm not retarded. I have trouble reading social cues sometimes and can say inappropriate things from time to time.
What bothers me the most is looking back at my autistic moments and cringing so bad, and constantly realizing more and more moments I remember were actually very very awkward. It's not that I've done stupid stuff in the past, it's how I'm probably doing them in the moment, without even realizing it.
I feel like I'm getting better after moving into dorms, I've actually made friends now which I like a lot, but of course I still fuck up from time to time.
I enjoy using a zippo-lighter as a fidget spinner, I hold it between my index and thumb fingers and spin it around in my hand. I do the same with my dip-cans. It relaxes me when I'm in social situations or stressed. Music when I'm sitting at the computer is also a must. When I smoke by myself I'm also usually pacing back and forth unless I'm sitting down.

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I've found that 3 drinking alcohols is what keeps me happy. Any more, and I get irrecoverably sad. Phenibut is also very useful for anxiety. Combine it with alcohol and your skin gets very tingly and you have a heightened sense of awareness.

fuck off reddit, tranny scum shouldn't be here.

>How are you coping?
NEET for 10 years and rarely leave house (mostly for haircuts)
>Are you/when were you diagnosed?
3 years of age
>How bad is it?
I sometimes think normies and us have different species of brain.
>What bothers you the most?
Normies thinking its ok to shit on us.
>Do you feel like you're improving your social skills?
Tried all that improvement shit a few years back but it just led to burnout, normies are exhausting to be around.
>Favorite way of stimming?
Don't think I do that, I guess being NEET hides keeps that sort of thing at bay. On the other hand I might be doing all sorts of things and not even noticing.

Guys, I have an autismo gizmo and was wonder in if anyone else had this. I can read people's minds, like what they think of me and others by looking at them. This isn't like movie shit where I can just see what colour/number they are thinking of.

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>Reddit
REEEEEEEE GTFO

end t end it right fucking now I said RIGHT FUCKING NOW I don't even know I don't even care everyone who tries to comfort me I push away, everyone who tries to help I hurt I just need to die, no one is benefiting from my living and all I can and will ever feel is suffering and misery. She couldn't even change that, I LOVE HER and everything about her and she cares about me but I know I will ruin her, she is so smart and will go so far but I can't let her be held down by me I want to literally stop functioning at my keyboard right fucking now just shut my eyes and it will all be done.

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Im a neet too but why dont you cut all your hair off yourself thats what I do

Tried it once and ended up looking like that JUST guy and my family made fun of me.

REEEEEEEE
Why don't anyone reply me yet?????

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I'm bipolar, like actual several trips to the mental hospital bipolar

I may be getting a wagecuck job soon after a long period of being an ascetic neet but I seriously couldn't care less, I'm just ready to die, if I had access to a gun i would have blown my brains out long ago

my dad has been experiencing delusions, he thinks there is a conspiracy and everyone is an actor who stalks and watches him, he hears people talking about him in public and is convinced that I am one of these people working against him. A year ago he interrogated me and held me hostage, and almost being violent toward me, this lead us to not speak for several months.

I don't know what to do, no one seems to be helping him and he's getting worse. his mother had psychotic depression and he's exhibiting the same symptoms but no one seems to notice or care, I'm worried he'll hurt someone or himself since he's becoming extremely depressed and anxious.

kind of worried I'll develop it as well, since it seems to be genetic. stressing me out.

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You should contact a mental health professional about this immediately. The fact that no one seems to notice or care means that your family has probably become desensitized to it, which is not a good thing. You're right to be disturbed by this behavior, but treatment is available.

How do you get diagnosed?

>starting to see things that aren't there
>starting to feel things are moving around me when they aren't
>can't distinguish between what's real and other people can see and what's not
I'm getting scared

undiagnosed social anxiety disorder
>dont talk to anyone other than my family
>dont eat in public, have to do a lot of hiding
>am not responsive in small talk
>insecure

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Here at least, you talk to your doctor, he refers you to a mental health professional of some sort after a standardised test or two, then the professional will diagnose you, assuming there's good cause to.

Depression, anxiety, gf gave me prozac and im takin 20mg a day.

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>tfw untreatable female autism

youtube.com/watch?v=6feHh7nI88I

Bowl down to your king!

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>What am I in for?
Not too bad. People are going to find you eccentric but it doesn't prevent you from making friends or going to a bar for a pint of beer with them. Not an Aspie myself but my flat-mate is one and I've been living with him for several years now. He seems a bit stiff in social situation and sometimes I have to ruin the joke to explain it to him but otherwise its not a problem, nobody minds if he joins a drinking session in a bar and whenever I buy a new co-op game I'm going to invite him from his room to play it through with me. Last game was Tesla vs Lovecraft, Cuphead before that.

Pretty sure I have GAD but I don't wanna seek treatment because they all seem terrible. Also shooting gats is my only hobby and I don't wanna take a chance to lose that.

Anyone on CBT or SSRIs who can prove me wrong? Because it's getting kind of unbearable.

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>social anxiety and depression
>get cbt based group therapy for the latter
>the meetings are actually really comfy because everyone there is fucked up so I don't have to hide anything
Still got a couple of months left though, so I've zero clue about whether it'll actually work.

Wait fuck, I meant "for the former"