motherfucking shit. i was just masturbating and everything was going great. i was in my room, i had my headphones on, i was totally naked sitting at my computer fapping away to a video on fakku. all of a sudden there's this really sharp pain in my dick, like it just got stabbed with a sewing needle. i jerked my hand back and it bumped into my computer tower, which sits on the desk. well, i had my stick of deodorant on top of the tower, and that bitch fell off and landed deodorant-end-down on the head of my cock. holy fucking shit did that hurt, and on top of that it hit so hard that it actually forced some deodorant into my urethra. i've never had anything burn so bad in my entire life. i jumped out of my fucking chair and stood up because it hurt so bad; this caused my headphone cable to get yanked and have inaudible japanese yells to get blared through my fucking house and almost maximum volume. now my eyes are watering from the pain of the deodorant inside my cock but i manage to punch one of my speakers hard enough so they turn off. i looked down and noticed blood dripping off of my cock; i guess the lip of the plastic deodorant thing bit into my foreskin as it connected with my cock. the blood was dripping down my leg. this all happened in the space of maybe 6 seconds. it may seem bad but it gets worse. just as i'm standing there trying to figure out what the fuck happened, my bedroom door fucking opens. my dad was standing there with my acceptance letter to johns hopkins. i froze and he stared at me, naked with my bloody erection for maybe 15 seconds before he noticed my computer monitor and the brutal tentacle rape scene going on full-screen. he immediately closed the door and left without saying anything. this may seem embarrassing but my dad is a seriously conservative christian. this happened about 15 minutes ago and he hasn't said anything to me yet. i'm still in my room trying to get the god damn fucking old spice out of my cock. what should i do anons?
Motherfucking shit. i was just masturbating and everything was going great. i was in my room, i had my headphones on...
that's really bad user rip.
i can't imagine the amount of embarrasment.
their is no way dodging that one but you'll have to face your father sooner or later.
Well cock or no cock, at least you got into Johns Hopkins. Congratulations user!
Just tell him you are converting and decided to cut your foreskin off and tried to sterilize it with deodorant, but the pain felt so good you had an erection. Don't say anything about the porn, he'll be so overwhelmed with all of it that he will forget this tiny detail. Good luck, user.
for the medical problem : use water to rinse your dick. If it does still hurt in 30 minutes, go to a doctor
for the father problem : you can't really do anything, except locking your door the next time or stop fapping
>living with parents
>fappin while parents are home
>not keeping your desk clean and having deoderant on your comp
just spread your boipussy and ask you dad to forgive you while he's deep in that ass
fucking kekked m8
>trying to get the god damn fucking old spice out of my cock
Kekerino,you know that anytime you see that nigger commercial your dick is gonna hurt like hell,even better maybe your dick will hurt when you see niggers.Just drink water until you have to pee,its gonna burn but the pee stream should clear your urethra.
>even better maybe your dick will hurt when you see niggers
what the fuck is this lmao
>his dick dosen't hurt when he sees niggers
how will you know they are niggers?
Guess ur going into some sort of church-camp. See you user
Behold
Ancient pasta from the old world
this pasta is meant to be in all caps
yet no one recognizes it
truly newfags rule this board now
Nice copypasta dudarino thumbs up
Whose cock is that? It's huge!
unironically mine
it's 7x6 but I tend to not think it's that large since it's mine and I've always had it yknow
Wheres the blood then faggot
Noice pasta, needs more cheese
If guys paid girls half the attention they pay their own penis we'd be theirs forever.
quality posts made me kek