We post our cringe memories and others judge how bad it actually was

What a story Mark! ha ha ha

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Im bad at greentext dont judge
>be me, around four years ago
>be 14
>new dollar store built right by my school
>go check it out with a few friends
>they sell fedoras
>remember the steryotype of neckbeards going around my school and think it would be funny to dress up like one as a joke
>also buy a shitty pair of off-brand crocs and sunglasses that are too small for me
>was kind of fat and had long-ish greasy hair that I gelled to stick out like an anime character (I dont know what was wrong with me) so I definately looked like a fat neckbeard
>went around tipping my stupid fedora calling all the grils in my class m'lady, and being an all around retard
>this went on for two weeks before my best friend told me to stop and i realized how dumb i was
>about half of the grils i used to talk to before stayed far away from me for the next couple of months and I still havent talked to them since
why am i like this

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hmmmm

originalerinomynibberino

>On the bus to remedial classes
>Cutie smiles at me
>Uncharacteristically boldly of me I move over to sit with her and start talking (I was talking to her about fucking school shit BTW and nothing else).
>We sit next to each other the next day on the bus as well.
>Right before we pull up I manage ask her if she has a phone
>She giggles and says yes
>My fight or flight response kicks in and tells me she's laughing at me and will turn me down.
>I say "oh yeah I have a phone too", and end the conversation by abruptly turning away from her, not speaking to her ever again.
>This was the 5th day of two weeks of remediation, so we had to awkwardly avoid looking at each other for a whole nother week.

>be around 17 yo
>go to bathroom
>open door
>younger brother is laying on floor
>butt naked
>shaving his balls with his legs up
My life was ruined out of empathy embarrassment ever since

You went full neckbeard user. Never go full neckbeard.

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Everyone self sabotage sometimes kid. Just don't make it a habit.

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thats fucking hilarious lmao

now here is a real story of mine
>be me
>9 year old dumbass kid
>got bullied at school so i was insecure and socially anxious as fuck
>one day a local news station decides to visit
>our school decides to organize a special performance for them
>become really nervous so i drink a shit ton of water to try and calm down
>suddenly its time to perform
>the teachers force like 20 kids to stand next to each other in front of the blackboard and sing a popular kids song we learned in class the other day
>at this point i feel the urine change its pH level in my bladder and my balls feel like theyre gonna explode if i dont take a piss anytime soon
>ask teacher to go to the bathroom
>she fucking says no
>panic when the piss rises up again
>decide to open the fucking valve because i couldnt handle it anymore
>i pee my pants right in the climax of the song in front of the whole class and media crew
>end up crying because of embarrassment like a little bitch while the other kids laughed at me
>hid under a table and refused to come out
>parents have to come pick me up

i swear to fucking god, this memory will haunt me until the moment i drop dead. i can still feel the burning shame in my cheeks stemming from my autistic actions YEARS later

>one of my first job interviews
>just me and one guy, about my age
>he is really cool and friendly, he was that kind of person you just know is liked by everyone, a true chad
>im impressed and anxious, spilling spaghetti all around
>at one point I refer to myself as "Mr. user" in third person
>he just ignores it after a brief "wtf" moment but I didnt even register what was happening
>as Im walking down the stairs on my way from the office it hits me
>my body freezes and I cringe both mentally and physically
They never called back, obviously.

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Oof

Originalerino pasta

Anything that happened before 12 is forgivable. you're literally another person. Assuming you're over 18 at this pt.

You live and learn Mr. user.

>8, field day, last day of school year
>girl I flirted with and played with all the time asked for my phone number so we could play over summer
>didnt know my number so I told her no
>she ran to teacher crying and I never saw her again after that day

Still feel bad. Liked her a lot and this event was probably what lead me to robot status, still haunts me 26 years later.

You were 8 or 18?

Everybody walk the original dinosaur

You fool. He's still 9 years old.

8 yrs old

Last really good female friend I ever had. Definitely started being super awkward the following school year

>pulled a weird facial expression for 6 years straight (raised eyebrows really high, squinted, sucked in cheeks, made nose seem smaller)
I want the death

lol

dude, let go

>be me
How to spot a retarded redditor 101

I should add that I did it because I thought it made me more attractive

>cringe
>be me

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I would have hired you if it's worth anything

Nah, everyone loves a Chad.

Meh, they're a dime a dozen honestly.
I prefer working with chantards.

>9 years old
>been in love with same girl for 2 and half years
>write a love letter and put it in her book bag shelf
>roses are red
>violets are blue
>sugar is sweet
>I love you
>everyone knows I did it because of my handwriting
>she writes me a letter kindly rejecting me
Even after that, I still did this shit 3 more times before I got the picture. >I'm nice enough to hang out with, but not attractive enough to date.