Mental health thread #2

>forget to take pill one day until physical withdrawals set in
>take pill next day, end up crying all day for no reason
Fuck effexor

>Diagnosed depression and anxiety
>Self-diagnosed ADHD

I fucking hate overthinking and overworrying about everything. I'm so passive and inactive. I'm tired all the time and I have no drive. I fucking hate myself. I don't know what to do. I just keep refreshing Jow Forums and I'm afraid to start skateboarding and making beats. Self-doubt is eating me alive.

I know how you feel user, it's as useless as all the other antidepressants with the added bonus of really terrible withdrawals. Can't wait to quit this garbage meme drug.

>found out just how useless and broken I am in my parents' eyes
There will never be a place for me in this reality

I feel your feel user -depression though

My therapist thinks im schizo. I am sure she just says that to try get some pharma sales commission.

Anxiety is fun. Literally cant even be near another person that i havent known for years without sweating bullets. VERY FUN.

Based on general populace, the calculated chances of having both autism and schizophrenia are about 1/3000 people or higher.

So I totally believe you, man. That doesn't sound unrealistic or self-diagnosed at all.

I have a withdrawal from reality since childhood, but I guess that's because I never enjoyed reality, I'm much better off fantasizing, daydreaming and keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself.
People do get upset with me because I don't respond to what they are saying or trying to interpret like a normal person is supposed to.
Obsession with video games, music and the internet help me get through life. Also stretching, calms me down.

>My parents make me keep a pair of underwear from when I crapped myself when I was four
Are they forcing you to do this ?
Ever considered throwing those underwear away ?

>that user that tries medication once and thinks its all shit

>that user that goes to one therapy session and thinks its all shit

then these anons give advice to other anons telling them not to do it and just smoke weed instead.

I don't want to be around a group of other depressing people talking about how depressing everything is.

you only back up each other thoughts and normalize the behavior

This is true. I was hoping it would be more treatment oriented but it just turns out to be a bunch of self-diagnosing people talking about their self-diagnosed mental illness cocktails and drowning out the few legitimate people who want to actually get better.

it's kinda shit.

yeah i kind of get what you mean also, why don't we talk about treatment user? I'm the schizoid poster and currently on the waiting list for psychodynamic psychotherapy, I've had it once in the past for about four months and I'd say it actually did help me a little bit. Most anons I see with bad therapeutic experience usually got CBT, which imo is fucking garbage, like what use is someone else telling you what to do? It's pretty obvious how to live a proper or normal life but the issue is the mental obstacles in the way imo.

heres something important in the uk at least

primary care vs secondary care.

they will send you to the quick fix primary care first, its a quick in out, usually cbt, lasts bout 15 sessions.

they cant send everyone to secondary care cos there aint enough spaces, so they send to primary first hoping it will fix em.

secondary care, that's the good stuff, usually takes 1.5 + years of psychotherapy.

I think the idea behind CBT is to subconsciously ingrain more optimistic ways of thinking. Sort of like listening to a tape telling you lots of happy things or something. I'm not formally diagnosed with anything that CBT is a viable treatment for though, so I wouldn't really know.

Anyways, what is psychodynamic thingy? Never heard of it.

I find it pretty hard to define as a layman but the basis of the practice seems to be mainly talking about your subconscious, behavioural patterns, past traumas etc. It takes after the psychoanalytic school and can actually be pretty fun if you enjoy picking apart your own psych, plus I get to ramble on about my dreams and subsequent interpretations of them.

D-Does dysphoria count or am I going to get bullied by other anons?

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*sharply inhales*

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Yes. I am being forced and am crying as I type this.

Shit! Why /r9k exclude bdps so much?

A lot of people here have probably been hurt by BPD girls in LDRs.

anybody else been raped as a child? How did you deal with it, how did it effect you growing up, and how does it affect you now?
males only.

4 are listed but really it's meant to imply anyone is welcome.

sigh even bpdfags

it was my high school """"psychiatrist"""" who diagnosed me with autism so you could be right, definitely have schizophrenia though

Attention: don't do ECT, it doesn't help. Just fucks your memory and makes you stupider. Try transcrainial magnetic stimulation instead.

could just be negative symptoms of schizo. do you stim? snap your fingers, wring them, etc? did shirt tags bother you as a kid? over-stim?
if it's just social withdrawal that caused them to diagnose you it could very well just be your schizophrenia.

Any mental problem counts. Even just feeling sad, friendo.

no bullying user

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I was DP'd by two guys after my mom agreed to have me drugged and raped i exchange for drugs. I don't the recall pain, and I cannot recall how it ended. I don't know how it effected me in the grand scheme of things because in the grand scheme of things it's comparatively tame to some of the other things that I've gone through. Now? I don't know. I don't like being touched, but I chalk that up to being an introvert. I'm a proper robot hikikomori, I don't have or want physical contact with anyone. I don't really think about what happened. I don't really think about anything, to be honest. It's probably extreme disassociation. I want out into town recently and had really bad tunnel vision. Not literal tunnel vision, but everything seem fake, and I felt like I was in some sort of danger. I'm a schizo, BTW.

don't you anons think about how much this bdp also suffered? that most of their social interactions is suffering?

>I was DP'd by two guys after my mom agreed to have me drugged and raped i exchange for drugs. I don't the recall pain,
I was DP'd by two guys after my mom agreed to have me drugged and raped in*
exchange for drugs. I don't recall the pain*
Damn typos.

I can't even look people in the eyes some days
I feel so emotionless others
I'm going to crack some day, I can't keep up the facade forever, it's been years

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I do. I read the book "I hate you, don't leave me" and found it very interesting.

Oh, and my mom crawled into my bed one night (I think it was night) and tried to sleep with me once. She felt me up. I told her to "fuck off". She then slapped me, lol.

Don't mean to turn this into a blog but I'd like some advice on if I should see someone. Here's some things about me-

>Necrophiliac
>Orgasm to the thought of killing/murder
>Have manic episodes of happiness
>Have strong episodes of depression
>Hate my body
>Angry nearly all the time
>No friends
>Have episodes of wanting to scream until I pass out
>Strong urges to hurt people
>Horrific sleeping patterns

>Orgasm to the thought of killing/murder
Nice taste, me too. It's not a problem as long as it's only fantasy.

see someone, so they can turn yopu into a vegetable? please don't user... why do you hate your body? what are the topics you can change? idk, try to start with your body and than see how it goes?

thats fucked up user. not even gonna ask what exactly happened, but was it just the one time? why would drug dealers want to fuck you? that doesnt even make sense. what kind of person was your mom/?

I just hate my body, I can't pinpoint an exact problem, I had minor surgery but then realised that it never made me happy and I'd always pursue a more faded version of myself that I can't describe but want to achieve.
I just look in the mirror and don't see myself looking back, like its me but without 'me'. I can't explain it well.

>autism
>extreme anxiety
>bpd
>depression
How do I cure all of this??

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I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I've also got ADHD.

I'm currently taking 2mg Abilify and 30mg Adderall to treat both disorders. It really doesn't work for me.

I'm working on a bunch of short stories and a blog to help people with depression. Is anyone interested in checking it out?

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>have a paraphilia
>need treatment
>psychologist is very ill-equipped, enlists the aid of a specialist
>apparently she's been subjected to so much bullshit getting to see her at all is a fucking journey
>have been to clinics for sex offenders before, they were 100% pedophiles, exhibitionists and child molesters, absolutely no necrophiles in sight
>tfw can't talk about my main pressing mental/sexual health concern fucking anywhere

>tfw severe OCD, that had been treated with exposure therapy over the last two years, is getting worse again

>my fucking face when

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Will to get 99 percent of the posters in this thread are completely normal and have no diagnosis but just like being edgy

Maybe autism

my doctor told me that is dissociation, but I think that is a good think if you get into trouble with law

I have mild depression, mild anxiety, schizoid PD, ASPD and treated ADHD

All these mental illnesses, but your biggest one is tripfaggotry. What a shame.

>tripfag
>schizoid PD, ASPD
LARPer detected

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Hey there, rare to see another necrophile around here. Could you talk a little more about your inclinations?

I don't have much in the way of advice for the necrophilia but I have to say, exposure therapy can do wonders for intrusive thoughts. I also had extremely severe urges to hurt others for most of my life- turns out it was untreated OCD. After a year of extensive therapy, the urges are still there, but I'm able to cope with them and live a relatively normal life instead of feeling on the brink of doing something terrible constantly. It can make an enormous difference in your quality of life.

If your meds aren't working for you, you should always talk to your psychiatrist about it and either get the dosage changed or try something else.

>be mentally ill
>don't tell anyone on the Internet
Can you faggot plebbitors get out?

its nice to sympathize and talk with people man.

yea I've been on multiple different dosages of abilify and i get serotonin syndrome in response to most mood regulator drugs (we discovered this when I was on zoloft) so i really can't take anything other than abilify.

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thread is for discussing experiences and treatment. if you don't see a point in that then i really hope you don't re-visit this thread. you're not special for not telling anyone. nobody is going to praise you for having a mental illness.

Not to be an asshole but SSRIs are notoriously bad for you, and going on something like abilify is usually an improvement in any case. You probably need a higher dose of abilify if you were on high enough doses of other meds to develop serotonin syndrome.

Really like the pics you're posting btw

In terms of inclinations I am very specific, I tend to find that I'm not into a rotting body, but freshly killed is more my thing...I guess I find I'm more attracted to the moment someone passes from life to death, like raping them as they pass away knowing that their final moments are having that inflicted on them.
I suppose that its a form of possession or powerplay that I love. I do also enjoy the idea of an utterly mutilated body (skull fuck, chest cavity fuck, slicing the throat and seeing the life fade away)
I draw the line at maggots and aged bodies.
I do have a fondness for strangulation or neck snapping.

What does exposure therapy consist of?

Abilify doesn't really help with my depression. Right now I take two 2mg tablets a day. So I'm near schizophrenia-level doses.

And yeah they're paintings from Monet's Nympheas series. I'm posting it cause of the stories I mentioned.

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Autism never goes away, you just gradually learn better social skills if you practice them. BPD can be treated, apparently a lot of borderlines eventually learn to cope with it themselves as they get older. Therapy can greatly accelerate the process, or it could do nothing if your shrink isn't good.

That's interesting but pretty typical for sadistic necrophiles. Good taste though with asphyxiation.

Exposure therapy, as the name implies, consists of exposing yourself to the source of your distress in a controlled environment, over and over again, until you recognize that the stressor itself is harmless. In time, it is intended to go from something that causes you grief to something you are desensitized to, and can therefore cope with a lot better.

As an example, I have intrusive thoughts regarding homicide and necrophilia throughout the day. My psychologist had me say, out loud, as many details of the intrusive thoughts that I could elaborate on, for a solid hour, in two weekly sessions. Every day I wasn't in a session, I had to listen to a recording of those sessions, intentionally exposing myself to the intrusive thoughts in a controlled environment. It was stressful as hell for the first few months, and it got worse before it got better. For awhile he also had me go to cemeteries alone, take walks alone at night, and even bring a knife to our sessions for a few months- to show that even with the intrusive thoughts, they themselves were harmless, and I ultimately have control over my actions.

It was hard fucking work and I stuck to it religiously because I want to get better more than anything. I don't recommend it if you have a hard time sticking to a treatment plan- but if you're motivated and have a good, supportive psychologist, it can make a world of difference. It certainly has more than any other therapy for me.

>autistic
>talking to person i knew from high school
>"you're not as weird as you were, i used to avoid you in the halls"

not sure if i should take it as a compliment or not

Abilify is an antipsychotic, not an antidepressant. It will likely never help with your depression. I was mentioning SSRIs because you said you had serotonin syndrome, not because I thought you were taking abilify in their place.

Oh. I thought thats why she put me on abilify, to help with the depression.

Idk why she would put me on antipsychotic drugs. I've never done anything stupid.

>been watching HD porn since age 11
>dick does not work with real girls
>want to suicide

This shows you've grown and become more normal. This is good, user.

>severe depression
i honestly have lived a pretty fine life all things considered, but my dads death and the fact that due to severe undernourishment from a un-attentive mother leading me to be 4'10 for the rest of my life sent me in a spiral
there is not a day that goes by where i don't think about killing my self and stopping the constant hate i have for myself
people always tell me that my height does not matter but when people contantly make fun of you for it and women will never see you as a sexual prospect it starts to weigh on me as a person
i just want to feel like i'm not a freak and live a normal life instead of craving death, but the road i'm on i see no other choice

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i never knew it was that bad though
fuck

So, I just got back from dinner and I typed up a reply, and no sooner than I was about to finish my computed died. That said, you're going to have to excuse this Vocaroo, because I'll be fucked if I'm typing all that back up again.

Motherfuck. Clicked post on accident.
vocaroo.com/i/s117u2MgFPXq

I brought up the river because I was raped in the river. I'm all over the fucking place.

Oh I didnt know it got better thats really nice to hear, im working on all that stuff now
Thanks

I recommend you read the book "I hate you, don't leave me". That's where I got that from.

Dude, fuck SSRIs as a whole. I was on Lexapro for five years, and a dipshit psych ripped me off cold turkey. Worst three weeks I don't remember.

>vocaroo.com/i/s117u2MgFPXq
its all right man, its okay to be fucked up. i feel ya. how old are you? you seem like you've been carrying this around for a while.

and for people that been raped, you anons talk about it quite well huh? to a traumatic experience, I don't talk albout it before melting into tears... so, what's up that anons? how come are you so cool to debate about it in here? is Jow Forums really a safe space to you? it just doesn't make sense

Bipolar I w/ psychotic features, GAD, BPD checking in.

>Be me
>21 y/o femanon
>Given Abilify
>Fucks my shit up; hello psychosis before it happens naturally
>Nope the fuck out of that
>Scared shitless of APs for three years
>Try other shit; doesn't work well
>22 y/o, psychosis happens by itself
>try more shit, doesn't work
>Bite the bullet and try Seroquel
>Shit works like magic and fixes my fucked sleep
>23 y/o me regrets not taking Seroquel at 21 when they first tried
>FeelsRipMan

APs are fucking terrifying, but Seroquel and therapy saved my ass. Fourth Gen bipolar/schizo; should've just taken it a few years ago. Knew it would come for me sooner or later. Fuck lithium, too. Gifted me +50lbs.

wanna discord about it? im sure we will have plenty of stuff to talk about

Autist.

Went to therapy today. Going to do a bit of cleaning and then work out. I'm hygenic, in shape, but that's about the extent of how well I have my life together.

I'm endlessly optimistic. On some level I don't want to fail because I want to believe everybody here can save themselves and for me to believe that I have to save myself. It's so hard though.

Also bipolar type 1 here

Abilify and lithium literally saved my life
I'm 5'5'' and 104lbs
Take a very low dose thanks to my size, therapy, and weaning off of it for years.

What doesn't work for you can be a blessing for someone else. I hate it when people act like if a medication had a bad interaction with them that no one should take it.

>Exposure therapy, as the name implies, consists of exposing yourself to the source of your distress in a controlled environment, over and over again, until you recognize that the stressor itself is harmless.

That's not really how it works though. If you get into a car accident exposure therapy doesn't work by convincing you that driving a car isn't dangerous because it actually is dangerous. Exposure therapy works in large part simply by making people braver in the face of danger. It trains them to realise they are tough enough to do something scary.

what makes you sure you're bipolar and not borderline?

Sounds like you've have some shit experiences, too, dude.

Are you retarded? Of course you don't have the same method of exposure therapy for intrusive thoughts and a car accident survivor. What's the difference between understanding something will not hurt you and understanding something isn't "scary?"

Eh, I was sharing my personal experience with it. Fucked me up, but I have friends that did well on them. That was just how it worked for me. Wasn't meant to deter others from them.

I've been diagnosed by multiple psychologists and psychologists.

Does anyone else have an incredibly hard time talking on the phone? I just feel like Im interrupting every time.

psychologists and psychiatrists*

talking about that, how come don't we have suicide day in here?

that's a big thing with the tism, i'm afraid. i don't talk on the phone though, nobody calls me, not even my family. feelsgoodman.

I'm just gonna keep doing this because it's easier than text that I have and will continue to fuck up.
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If you want to talk, man, lets talk. I'm not tired right now, I've got time.

>psychologists
Idiots that didn't get into medical (medicine) school, can barelly relate brain chemistry

t. someone that can't spell and likely has never been to more than a single session of therapy