Hello user, I am your government assigned girlfriend from the sexual redistribution social program

>Oh. I don't really have a lot of money, so I can't provide anything for you.
>Besides that, you are free to leave. >I believe in freedom and freedom of choice, so I dislike the idea of you being forced with me.
> But I nearly forgot, what's your name?

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very manly tears of happiness

Oh my goodness you are so beautiful I am going to treat you like a princess I love you let me take care of you and buy you some stuff do you want an expensive dinner tonight let's go to a fancy hotel as well, I will wait as long as you want, I won't have sex until you want it too baby okay only when it feels comfortable and right for you baby I love you I will wait forever may I please hug you and do I have consent to kiss your soft cheek baby.

I will be the one taking care of you baby I will rub your tummy when you're sick and cook for you and clean my room for you and tuck you in and kiss your nose baby oh god yes I will be the best boyfriend in the world I love you let's get married you can do whatever you want with other guys baby I don't own your body I am just lucky enough to spend the time with you that I do spend baby oh god you're so beautiful you are a goddess.

>Oh, well, whats your name?
>Thats a nice name
>Wanna take a seat? Lets get to know eachother

I would unironically just want to hug for the first few weeks. Ease myself back into it.

if we are being honest probably invite her in have her talk to my mom/sister while i hide in my locked bedroom making excuses for why i can't see her like she will never love me so why try better all round to just ignore her, or she is forced to be here and will probably take chads cock the minute she leaves, or i'm a shit person who could never make a girl happy the less i speak to her that happier she will be if she is unhappy now i will only be able to make it worst, etc.

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>....aight
org

Just fill in this form and I'll be on my way.
But be aware that due to supply and demand issues, there's an estimated ten month waiting list for white gfs, plus 4 years for models.

>fuck immediately
>realize sex isn't a panacea for my problems
>realize the person lying next to me probably doesn't actually care about me or want to sleep with me
>realize it's just prostitution with extra steps
>realize I'm so socially/romantically/sexually inept that the U.N. considers it a disability and the gov't has to step in
>feel relief at the addition of a new addition to my self-medication toolbox

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just cuddle
ive become so used to porn and my right hand that the one time i actually scored with a real grill i couldnt even cum
am i broken?

>addition of a new addition
FUCK

>as soon as she touched my dick I came and started farting

Oregano

Poopy-di scoop
Scoop-diddy-whoop
Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop
Poop-di-scoopty
Scoopty-whoop
Whoopity-scoop whoop-poop
Poop-diddy whoop-scoop
Scoop-diddy-whoop
Whoop-diddy-scoop
Whoop-diddy-scoop poop

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