Have you ever done anything illegal? what was it

Yeah, I want smoke weed but I can't since it's illegal and I'm a good goy so instead I'm an alcoholic.

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I smoked weed once in kansas. Come at me motha fucking poh-lice

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you can't compete with mine

I robbed a bank with a note and got caught and did 3 years.
Now I'm living with my parents and got nothing to show for it.

No Mr. FBI i am a good boy.

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retard, you let them come to you
original

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oh yeah? tough guy?

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I stole stuff but that's it

Dubs aren't impressive anymore desu

I jaywalked when i was 13yo.

Imagine living in a country that patrols the internet.
Thank god I don't live in UK or another censorshithole like that. I can confess to a murder with details online and NOTHING would happen.

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the lady at the store said have a nice day and i didnt

missed satanic trips by 1.

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>unironically smoked weed
what a brainlet

Drove drunk.

Surprised that was original holy sheeit

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I've made a few illegal turns and shit and other shenanigans on the road but aside from that I'm clean.

I stole Mein Kampf and Das Kapital from a library.

I bought cigarettes underage.

Lol

I've smoked weed

I stole a ballon on free ballon day

Karl marx would have given you a high five
Hitler would have hit you with a baton

Look at the rump on that filly. Darn it.

I said that I had points of contention with the ideal of multiculturalism online. I'm re-educated now.

Breaking and entering
Agricultural trespassing
Petty theft
Shoplifting
Public indecency x6
Bestiality
Reckless driving
Impersonating a police officer

I've never gotten caught

user, I have done things that are illegal. I don't recommend doing things that are illegal. Choose when and which law to break, and how to reconcile after such law is broken.

Here is a tame one, I have driven 180km/h in a 110 zone. Wolframalpha or google the conversion ameriburgers.

I could have been killed or harmed someone at those speeds. It was the absolute limit of my car which was a 90s hatchback, initiald style

Top
Fucking
Kek

I've done 80mph in a 45mph zone before. I could've gotten arrested but nobody actually cares. Just dont hit anything and stop being a pussy

Penetrating an 8yo in the pussy, but it's fine because I was 10 at the time.

Took some drugs and pirated STALKER

I shoplift all the time.

my entire existence is considered a crime

lel
Yee
>shoplifting
>arson
>battery
teehee

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Stay alive just to piss (((them))) off
And have fun with it

cheese pizza and pirating mostly

Reusing stamps because Im a cheap bastars

Ran over a guy on the freeway, didn't stop.

He had already been hit a couple of times, but he looked right at me as I went over him.

It was at night, I was going about 70, no time to react.

Car in front of me hit him, he went over the top of that guys car and then I ran over him with my truck, my tires hit his head and I hear a pop.

I slowed down for a moment, thought about everything, he was black, I was white, it was a week after the Ferguson Riots, the truck was so new I still had the temp tag on the back, soI just hit the gas, went to the county over from mine, found a car was and power washed the hell out of my undercarriage.

Felt bad for a while, bit not that bad.

Family had a GoFundMe to bury him, guy was out of work and in some put patient rehab, he was on the freeway after jumping a fence while being chased by Walmart security for having shop lifted some laundry soap.

Stayed off that road for about a year.

I still honk my horn when I pass by the cross his family set up on the side of the road.

>honk my horn when I pass by the cross his family set up on the side of the road.

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I was once in a store and took a pair of gloves and then I forgot about them and accidentally stole them and never returned them out of guilt.
But u can't prove that in court.

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(((they))) are the reason I am in this situation though

If you don't already know Mr. CIA, then you don't deserve to know!

I was born a cis white male

Shit, dude, what do you do now?

Do your parents still love you?

The ones that come first to mind:
animal abuse
battery
first degree murder
third degree murder
armed robbery
larceny
rape

In about 2000, I masterbaited fantacizing about my niece, Lani. She looks like Star Trek Seven of Nine! In 1985, at my sister's wedding, I stuck my crotch on the hot tub drain because it kinda sucked. In 1985, I tried to get a dog to lick my dick. From 1998-2003, I fantacized about leading a Catholic army like Dune, of Mexicans or Brazilians? That was dumb because they're niggers. In 2003, I played tag with a black girl about 7-years-old. She reached for my crotch. In high school, in the library, Carlos and I said 'juicy' or 'toxic' as a way of evaluating girls. In 1988, I cheated on my SAT by talking in the hall during the break -- two problems. On 9/9/1999, I killed a CIA nigger on purpose with my car. :-) In 1982, when I was 12, I babysat Kevin's kids. I changed a diaper because I thought that was being professional. In 1975, when I was about age five, my brother, Keith, put my penis in a vacuum. In 1977, when I was about age seven, my brother, Danny, got me high on gas fumes and we sucked each other's dicks. Dr. Tsakalis had an oddly round ass. Paul Keck at Xytec had an oddly round ass. Distracting? At about age five, Jay Weinrick and I touched dicks to each other's assholes.

I made pizza with my friends when we were

Yeah, so do what you can to spite (((them)))

Drugs. Driving under influence of drugs. Stole minor items from hardware stores.

A rude word crossed my mind once.

The things I write on pol could be considered a hate crime. Though they're all true.

are you a girl (female) or anything else (male)?

I once told a homosexual that he was gay and a woman that she was female