Welp

>looking for autistic stories/r9k/
need a kek

Attached: 0387_-_yyNleWD-200x76.jpg (200x76, 6K)

hell you

>REEEEEEeeeee
sprugout.jpeg

Attached: 0981_-_GcSeEVx.png (485x312, 12K)

>one time i think i died

Ok I wqs 17 walking to work at taco bell had my first psychotic episode never had one before, in the middle of a busy intersection I pulled my pants and underwesr to my shoes and started shaking my penis at people and screaming, came too in the mental health ward of a hospital morning later and wqs told what happened 3 days later released me with meds and doing good from there im glad I wasnt charged, where it happened was a school at break this was 10 some years ago

im reporting, you trash normie

im reporting u u grammatical normie

Was in 7th grade. A classmate was bullying me so I decided to get back at him. What I did was looking up a really dangerous prison inmate and started sending him letters. In the letters I insulted him and called him a little faggot, and signed them with the name of the guy who was bullying me (since prisons doesn't give out the address of the sender so the name was all he had to go on). When the inmate was released for parole a few months later he paid the bully a "visit"

Grade 9 in the states had P.E 6th period, I was shy changing in front of everyone so I would wait in the stall one day like 6 grade 12s jumped me and pulled my gym shorts and yes tighty whiteys down to my knees they held me down laughing and took turns spitting on my "baby dick" and slapping it/nads with their hands maybe 5 mins later they let me go was pretty shit

>qt compliments my neutral milk hotel shirt at the gym
>talk to her about music and shit
>she makes me playlist
>fast forward a few months, see her on and off and occasionally just talk casually and stuff
>fast forward four months, don't see her
>finally see her recently, she asks me out to coffee
>meet her at place
>talk for 2.5 hours
>go for the kiss
>she says i have to work harder than that
h-heh..

She's not into you. I never failed getting a kiss on a first date. And rarely have I even failed getting laid on first date. If you don't get to fuck her it means she is holding out for someone better. Sorry

yeah i guess i turned her off or something. she said she wanted to hang out next week though so we'll see i guess. some girls like to play hard to get but i have never not gotten a kiss on the first date either so...

>neutral milk hotel
Well there's your problem user. She thinks you're a faggot.

Attached: 1521371730968.jpg (218x240, 18K)

>compliments my shirt
>thinks i'm a faggot
is she you or something?

Semen stains the mountaintops
Originally

She saw you in your NMH shirt and thought you were a nice sensitive pansy boy that she would like to be friends with and use you to get free dinners. She is not remotely interested in you sexually.

i hope that's not true cause she got a nice booty
she also doesnt shave her legs though and is quite far left

>17 yo virgin
>Have girl come over to my house while family is away that day and the next
>Abundantly clear that she's coming over to fuck
>I hardly even know her
>In fact, I ignored her for like 2 weeks prior, which probably turned her on cause AWALT
>I didn't have a driver's license, so we ride bikes over to my house
>She's in front of me so I start looking at her butt and realize that I'm gonna fuck her
>I start to realize I'm not very attracted to her
>We get to my house
>We start to kiss
>Her clothes come off
>I start fingering her while kissing her
I realize now that I was hardly even conscious during this, in the way that I didn't process that I was currently in my room about to fuck a girl, and thus, my peepee didn't get hard.
>I realize I'm flaccid and think 'shit'
>I say "Scuse me" and go to the bathroom down the hall to put on the condom
>My dick is almost completely flaccid, but leaking precum like a faucet
>Go back out and finger her
>Repeat
>Dick still soft
>Go out of room and pretend I got a call from my mom
>Tell girl she has to leave cause my mom is coming home
>Laugh about it after she leaves cause autist
This happened over a year ago, and it's the closest I ever got to losing virginity.
Honestly, probably was a Porn-Induced ED. If I ever start talking to a girl again, I'm gonna start nofap at the same time.

Attached: HeCute.jpg (245x249, 14K)

>quite far left
tell her to kill herself

Attached: disgusted cat.png (603x432, 345K)

>Be me
>8th grade
>Hanging out with friends at my town's 4th of July celebration
>Buy giant sleeve of popcorn because why not
>Talking with friends in isolated corner
>8/10 girl approaches and asks for popcorn
>Let her have some
>Start talking with her
>dontblowit.jpg
>Friend interrupts
>"Wanna see the next step in human evolution?"
>What
>Friend whips out giant pixie stick and tries to down it all in one go
>Chokes on dust and throws up on ground
>Girl screams and runs away
>I drop my popcorn

To this day I have no idea why he did that

I know this is bullshit, but it's also too devilish to not comment on

Attached: 1414174934257.jpg (594x393, 60K)

The virgin user vs the Chad PixiePuke