Tfw nothing memorable has happened in your life since 2010

Is it even possible to change yourself this late in the game?

>tfw you finally stop struggling to be normie and realize deep down inside that you just want to be alone and a self-made NEET
I feel like I have reached a state of zen. Feels peaceful man.

>turned 25 like a month ago
>bipolar as fuck
>go back and forth between feeling like an inferior piece of shit for still being a virgin who's never had a gf and not really caring and trying to be optimistic
>still deadly afraid of ever admitting I'm a virgin because people WILL judge you and mock you for it
Why do people treat us like shit

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I don't think it is. My mindset is stuck thinking how I'll never be employable and never catch up socially.

You can if you're lucky and the gods favor you.

>30kv
>at work, chillin max relaxin with a cool workmate
>discussing something that gives away my age
>24yo-ish female coworker is shocked "wow you are old"

Has the chemistry changed now that she thinks you are "old"?

>yfw you have this but you let it get away from you by constantly not believing it's real

There was none, and there will be none. I dont want anything to do with her.

>went through Highschool with no friends
>went to uni hoping I could make friends
>graduate without ever talking to someone
I fucked up lads.......

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>33
time keeps slipping
and i keep falling

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>worked in an office/warehouse
>company decided to close that office down
>managed to keep my job and work from home
>commute is 5 ft
>my brain can't handle it and keep work separate from life
>nothing but shitposting and playing video all day
>As long as I promptly reply to the occasional slack/skype message my bosses think I'm just putting away
>haven't opened my emails in a week
>at the point where I'm too afraid to open them now
>afraid to even look at how many are left
>could be fired at this point
>schrodingers employment
The shitty thing is is that this is the pathway to my literal dreamjob but I'm too much of a depressed shitstain to do anything about it.

health is getting worse now I've cleared 30.
>caught the fucking flu
>depression back with a vengeance
>think I have gout
>dizzy spells with ringing in my ears and total loss of vision
seems like I won't make it to 40

open your emails user
you're going to open them eventually no matter what, so you can either open them now, and maybe have a job, or open them in a week, and definitely be fired
you'll be very upset with yourself in a month's time when you're thinking more clearly for losing a job like that

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I mean I could never open them and just move in underneath the freeway. Or I can take that long walk out in to the woods I've been thinking about

open your emails, user.

>at a convention having dinner with bosses
>one of them is half owner of the company
>says he just deletes every email he has when he gets back, if they're important they'll resend it

>decided I'm going to practice singing
>realize that I'm to shy too raise my voice even though there's no one within a 20 mile radius to hear me...

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Alright I got them all done and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was
Back to factorio

good job lad, origg