I've been feeling this emptiness since 2014. Nothing seems fun, nothing is new, there's nothing to be excited about. The last thing I remember actually looking forward to was seeing this girl I caught oneitis over but now I'm over her and life is pointless again. I've noticed that I fall in love with girls so easily because they give me meaning. When I don't have some girl to obsess over, I have nothing.
I've finally realized what the cause of my depression is. I'm bored. Everyday is the same thing. >wake up >go to work >work >come home >sleep/watch TV/porn >eat >go to sleep >repeat Everything I do seems stale and boring. It's because I've been doing the same fucking thing everyday since I was 12. Just porn, masturbation, school/job. Ten years, nothing but repetition with the occasional unexpected event to keep me going. I've actually started to get this nausea whenever I sit around and do nothing but watch porn and TV. It's like my body's telling me "get the fuck up and do something".
I told my boss that I'll be using 5 vacation days next week because of mental exhaustion. In these 5 days, I'll try to stay away from porn and Netflix and lying around in bed all day. I'm trying to learn how to live a normal life and get myself in the habit of doing something everyday.
Inspired by a few posts on this board, I've already joined a boxing gym and I'll be going in for my first day at 6 pm (less than an hour from now). Maybe getting punched in the head will shake my life up a bit.
Throw everything away and go on an adventure. Your little 5 days vacation will pass and you'll be back to square one.
Jeremiah Torres
Or being punched in the head will give you autism and you'll get workers compensation
Mason Gonzalez
I wish I could, unfortunately that would be too unpredictable and would probably result in death. I'm not trying to fix everything in 5 days (actually 9 if you're counting weekends), I'm trying to build up momentum for the future.
Chase Lewis
>The last thing I remember actually looking forward to was seeing this girl I caught oneitis over but now I'm over her and life is pointless again. Ouch, my soul. that's what I recall before my current depressive episode. Like that was the beginning of the U and now I'm getting to the bottom of the J, the letters are a curve, still you're doing better then me; I usually don't want to do anything so hard that I don't even work or wank; just reading and sleep. life is shit; it'll be better in the future when technology has another boom and abundance is normal but until then we gotta be patient
Michael Scott
Keep it up man. The most important part of your routine is making it a routine. Even if you're not feeling well you can go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour, there's plenty of shit to do.
Welcome to the real world bucko. Stop watching porn btw.
Zachary Cook
I'm gonna try. I highly doubt that I'll quit porn forever but I'm gonna cut I down to an occasional thing, like how I drink or smoke. It's been a fucking decade since I first started watching porn. I've seen just about everything there is to see, there's no reason to watch anymore.
I remember at the height (lowest?) of my depression when I had no oneitis, the only thing I looked forward to for about a month was a new video dropping with my favorite porn star in it. Pathetic.
Joseph Foster
>the only thing I looked forward to for about a month was a new video dropping with my favorite porn star in it. Pathetic. couldn't agree with you more; having a favorite porn star should allow you to register yourself as having a disability. so dysfunctional, I barely believe it.
Dominic Sanchez
Stop watching porn, its really bad for you. Try not to fap, but if you must...fap to your imagination. Do not watch other men fuck women while touch your pee pee.
Christopher Ramirez
Motivation is a really annoying issue for me. I could've gotten my life together ages ago, I just have no ambition. I'm gonna try to break my habit of giving up, too.
Adam Taylor
That's what I keep telling myself too. >it'll be better when... I've gotten to all the 'whens'. Nothing changed. The truth is, you won't change when this or that happens. I've had to accept this.
Brayden Campbell
>The truth is, you won't change when this or that happens. I've had to accept this. nah nigga; if what I'm wanting exists then mental health repair is possible, enhanced intelligence and the mental health to utilize it will solve all our issues.
Angel Ward
Why not try to solve it yourself instead of waiting on scientists to do it? Unless you have some really severe mental issue that can't be solved on your own
David Jenkins
>Why not try to solve it yourself instead of waiting on scientists to do it? >Unless you have some really severe mental issue that can't be solved on your own
I'm weird; I think that advanced tech is about to emerge and that I'd be fine just waiting - I can wait till the end of my life and that'd be okay. desu, I don't trust modern medicine - like, you wouldn't cure depression if it paid your bills but you would be encouraged to have something that works for 8 months, then have the patient figure out something that'd work for another couple months, and repeat until the patient dies.
not saying this is the case, just what I believe. wouldn't trust these niggas but I'm an optimist and trust AI to take care of it's pets (us humans.)
Parker Scott
are you depressed or sad with your life? two different things
Logan James
That's the thing, you have to make yourself do it, even when you don't want to.
Charles Hughes
No, I'm depressed. I wish I were sad, maybe I'd be able to feel something. But I don't, I don't feel anything. No joy, no sadness, it's just this feeling of emptiness in my stomach. I laugh a few times throughout the day but for the most part, there are just no feelings.
It feels like extreme boredom. Nothing is fun, nothing that used to interest me interests me anymore. I used to want to be a songwriter as a kid and I think I was very good for my age. I tried to pick it back up and write something but I was so uninspired and it just wasn't cool anymore. What the fuck could I write about anyway, all I've done is watch porn for the past 10 years.
Holy shit I wish I could be sad about my life. At least that's an emotion.
Yeah I tried to talk myself out of going to the gym today about 8 times but even though I don't feel like it and I'd much rather watch porn, I'm putting on these joggers and these Nikes and I'm about to get in my car.
This is the reason I feel like I just need to do more. I feel like I've done everything there is to do, but in reality, I haven't done a fucking thing. What are my experiences? >tried some drugs >gotten drunk >had a first kiss with some slut at a Louisiana cowboy bar (a peck, not even a real kiss) >watched tons of porn >busted tons of nuts I haven't even had sex yet. I'm almost 23 and my experiences consist of these things. Of course boredom is my problem. I feel like one of the reasons that I was so happy as a kid is because everything is new when you're a kid. Even at school, everyday is something new. You're learning new things, you're meeting new people. My life lacks variety and novelty, unless you count porn genres, which I have run through.
I've seen so much porn, it's just no point in watching anymore. The only way I'd find something new in porn is if I start watching the illegal stuff, which I have no interest in and don't want to risk my life over.
It's time to move on from this childish shit. I'll end up killing myself if I don't find something to live for.
Noah Baker
I just downloaded tinder too btw. After I get out of the gym I'm gonna see if I can set up some dates for next week.
But first I have to clean my house, just in case I luck the fuck up and a girl wants to come back.
