You live alone in your apartment, one night you go to the bathroom to have a piss. Suddenly, you see how the door handle is slowly being pushed down from the outside, but the door is locked. Then nothing happens.
What do you do? Your bathroom doesn't have a window and you don't have a phone with you.
Grab toilet bowl cover and enter kill or be killed mode
My bathroom door and my bedroom door are about a foot away from each other so I unlock it as quietly as I can, pause for a moment, and then push the door open as hard as I can into the hall while rushing for my room. If I can make it to my room I lock the door behind me and grab my AR-15 from my closet and call 911.
plug ears with toilet paper for what little good it will do and pull the trigger
I don't think many people have a gun in their bathrooms
Grab my bathroom gun and shoot through the door.
Bet you cunts don't even have couch or kitchen guns.
I think even fewer still have a gun that's an anti-materiel rifle with almost twice the power of a 50 bmg.
>yfw they gave up and went and hid in your room in the dark and ambush you
A good plan but we both know you are killed, given that you're posting on Jow Forums
Your mother was trying to surprise you for a prank and you have now killed her. You go to jail for manslaughter for 15 years and are raped.
You miss and only blow half your face off and become retarded
>it's a "OP is that kid who would yell NUKE! when playing rock paper scissors in school and always claim victory" thread
>You miss and only blow half your face off and become retarded
Honestly shooting yourself would be pretty difficult because the rifle is 6'6" long, so you'd have to set it up with a rod or something to hit the trigger.
My bathroom doesnt even lock
>Your mother was trying to surprise you for a prank and you have now killed her. You go to jail for manslaughter for 15 years and are raped.
I live in Texas.
>get in position
>wait until door opens
>ready, aim, BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>Escape in the confusion
>Your mother was trying to surprise you for a prank and you have now killed her. You go to jail for manslaughter for 15 years and are raped.
All jokes aside do you really think pranksters dont deserve to die? If my mom forced herself into my appartement to make fun of me Id definitely kill her
THIS IS WHERE MEN ARE MADE!!!!!
*GETS NAKED*
*GRABS HEAVIEST OBJECT IN THE ROOM*
*SLAMS OPEN THE DOOR AND RUSHES INTO THE HALL AT FULL SPEED*
*ATTACKS THE INTRUDER HEAD ON, NO HESITATION*
*DIES*
I would plug in my hair dryer and run it at max power along with my bathroom heater while rapidly flipping my light switch on and off and plugging in/turning on everything else in the bathroom.
With any luck, a breaker will flip, and it will at the very least make the bathroom go dark - if I'm lucky, depending on the wiring, it might even make some of the hallway/another room dark. While the intruder is trying to get the breaker back on, I'd burst through the door, using the toilet seat's top as a ghetto charging shield, and try to run out of the apartment.
Use my ki to fire a Super Kamehameha at the intruder. If law enforcement tries to take me because it was a crime, I fire one at them too and escalate from murder to treason and rebellion if needed.
bathroom plugs and lights would be on separate circuits. fucking with the plugs won't do shit to affect the lights. if you want t blow the lighting circuit you can just pull a lightbulb and make a short by putting a piece of metal inside it that touches the bottom middle part and the side of the socket. there is actually a decent chance that those lights will be on the same circuit as the hall lights, so you may be in luck.
Good point. Hadn't thought of that. Still, I've seriously tripped the breaker from just running one or two things on a bathroom circuit before. Wiring is not always done right, especially in shitty apartment buildings. Seen plenty of cases where one circuit feeds two rooms' receptacles or one room's receptacles and two rooms' lights (on 20A circuits at my mom's house and my last apartment, but still irresponsible and shitty).
If everywhere I'd lived had been done up to code, I probably wouldn't even know what a breaker is desu
Pro tip: buy a cheap handgun (Hi-Point) put it in two ziplocks and put the whole thing in the tank for easy accessibility while shitting
am i schizo if i check every toilet for tank guns?
>implying I ever close my bathroom door
What's the point of living alone if you can't wear underwear all the time and shit with the door open?
go away stephen king
it was an ok short story
This actually happened to me. Me and my sister were in our downstairs room playing video games. There was a door in the room that led to some weird closet/storage that also led outside in the room. We were just sitting there and I noticed the door handle turn and the door opened. It was just me and my sister at home. My dad and mom were out that day.
I got the fuck out of there and left my sister, who was probably around 5-6 at the time alone down there. Looking back, this probably wasn't the right move, but I was freaked the fuck out.
>Your bathroom doesn't have a window
Bathrooms naturally don't have windows, user. What am I going to do while taking a shit? Look at the birds and flowers outside like it's a family picnic?
>unsheath japanese anime sword mid pee
>open door really fast
>run out naked and screaming
>begin slashing in all directions
>pee flies in all directions
>intruder or ghost loses control of their bowels and poop themselves silly
>locate them with my superior sense of smell
>teleport behind them
>"heh... nothin personnel"
>use secret hidden sword technique "art of a thousand cuts"
>vaporize intruder or ghost
>go back to bathroom
>continue where i left off
mission complete
>letting your airborne shit particles waft around throughout your apartment
and what happened after
how old were you at the time? also was anyone there or?
Shit on myself so i smell bad while being raped
Due to me being a pussy i would instantly shit myself. Using the newly aquired biological weapon in my pants i would take my pants off make a shit mace run out and beat the intruder to death with my shit.
I went to my room, she went to hers. I never told anyone about this, but man it was weird.
I would have been in my early teens. 13-14 around there. She would have been around 6 or 7.
Part of my thinks it was a botched robbery. Our neighbors at the time were pretty scummy. Wouldn't surprise me if one of them was trying to sneak in or something.
But the other part of me thinks the house was haunted. There was a number of weird occurrences that happened while I was living there.
I run the bathroom fan which is right above the toilet, and the bathroom is down a hallway from the rest of my apartment anyways.
BBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH I LOVE THE STENCH!!!!! OH YEAH I BREATH IT IN AND HOLD IT!!!!!!! OH YEAH I NEVER STOP THE BBRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPP MY PRECIOUS BABY!!!!!!!!
>naturally
Umm bathrooms are man made. They are built.
Is there really a Stephen King story like this?
i rush out mid pee, jump him and probably piss on him a little
take the christmas mug i keep in the bathroom
open the door and throw it at the intruder to stun him for the moment it takes to disarm and beat him, if hes right by the door i beat the shit out of him with mug in hand instead, hopefully breaking the mug and cutting him with the broken ceramic
long finger comes out of guys sink then his toilet
>not enjoying your peepeepoopoo
>not filling up the toilet with filth until it breaks the siphon and flushes itself
>not turn your entire apartment block into your personal poop sauna
Fucking normie I bet you wipe while still sitting
Landlord found the poop sauna.
>not having a loaded hipoint hidden in every room to use to get to your main armory and go Jow Forumsommando on some fgt intruder
>Put Bob away
>Take out folding knife I always carry
>Get up against the wall behind the door
>It's your time to shine Mr.Stabby
>Unlock door
*teleports behind intruder*
Your life is really HEADing down the toilet
*Gives intruder a swirly*
What do you usually look at out your window when you're talking a shit, user?