What episode is on in your life right now?

>mother's day is tomorrow
WHAT
since when?
although I suppose we might live in different places
sorry if the fact that I addressed the fact that you addressed mothers day and not the bulk of your post bothers you

>it's a this has been going on for years and you're fucking tired of it episode

Damn, user, that hits way too close to home. Except that I've never done coke. Wouldn't even know where or how to get some. And I'd prefer something that made me feel calm anyway. Sometimes I fantasize about my family dying in some sort of accident so I could kill myself without feeling guilty

No problem, user, it's late night here, so you might be on may 10th alrwmeady so no problem, I just needed to say this somewhere beacause it's killing me inside, so don't feel bad about it

>And I'd prefer something that made me feel calm anyway.
Heroine mate. That or morphine.
youtube.com/watch?v=JW4iRcv2JGc

I've thought the same, I also have this crazy fantasy where they just tell me it's alrifht to kill myself and let me go through with it with smiles on their faces. I just don't know what to do anymore, I just feel like I will never feel happy in this world no matter what happens

>It's a user suffers Existential dread, and panics over how he's done nothing with his life.

>It's another "crying in bed at 2am because no amount of lifting or showering or clothes will ever make up for my terrible face and terrible personality and I will almost certainly die alone" episode

Nice song mate, not the anob you answered to but I nevar had morphine, I think the closest thing I've had is klonopin, and that just made me feel sleepy, is morphine better than that?

I feel you, user, today my dad told me I'm just wasting the best years of my life with TV and sleep deprivation and I just don't know how to feel about that.

In this episode :
user health gets worse after brief happiness ruining the mood for the rest of the season. What used to be in the grasp is now just a dream. Even simple things in life are becoming more unreachable.
>mfw when you cant lift your problems away anymore

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>montage of feeling sad, while time passes and life goes on.
youtube.com/watch?v=5nIxppYXonE

I've felt like this recently, especially beacause of this girl I'm sort of friends with, I don't think I'll ever feel happy about myself anyway

>I also have this crazy fantasy where they just tell me it's alrifht to kill myself and let me go through with it with smiles on their faces
Iktfb. It's not that they're happy to see me die, in the fantasy, but that they know that sometimes to love someone, you have to let them go.

Well I haven't either. But I'm very interested in what you could call "drug culture" and had read experiences. Apparently it puts you in a state of "numb" but the head is totally clear, and everything goes real slow and smooth, and your libido is nonexistent, and you gain this sudden strong confidence about you and what you had done and what you are doind and what you'll do. If you had seen Lou Reed, well, that's heroine. Burroughs said it isn't addictive (you only want to consume it when you have it and you don't experiment withdrawal, but idk, I'm too much a pussy even with pot).

youtube.com/watch?v=chiIy83oens

Holy shit, guys. I had never thought of something like that. I'm picturing that scenario in my head now and it feels terrifying. I don't think I could do it if they knew or ever found out. However, imagining tell telling me it's okay and that I shouldn't worry about a thing feels oddly comfy. Like a hug from mom. I think I may actually burst into tears at any moment now

It's a filler episode, wish I could just skip it

Yeah, they just undestand I'm not going to change my mind, and they love me enough not to try to make me feel guilty

I really like Lou Reed, one of the best artist ever, I think morphine and heroine must feel a lot more than klonopin, but it was a really nice feeling, not to care about the outsife world, it's just you and no one else

I've had the fantasy a few times, it just helps me deal with the suicidal thoufhts, even if it isn't healthy, I would just like for my family to let me do what I thinks needs to be done, I haven't cried in years, but I always feel the need to do it, and I just fake everything I show to the rest of the world, it just becomes something you get tired of, but you can't quite stop without feeling guilty

>it's just you and no one else
That sounds amazing, I'm tired of all this baggage, and I've been scaping into junky literature but it's about time I take some.
Care to get in depth of the sentations? Was your thinking affected or it was just a matter of feeling? Did the things you feel during that experience remained?
Also, how did you get it?

Everything in my life is a disaster episode. Moved home with parents to "pay student loans more easily" but i drink so much i never have money and miss payments often. I work hard at a job that I hate cause my dad like an asshole instilled in me a sense of duty as a kid. I'm starting to realize based on my EXTREME highs and extreme lows that I might be bipolar and on a recent low i thought hard about getting up the courage to kill myself. I don't want to die and i want to keep growing and getting better and evolving as a person but it seems like i'm wasting my life and have been ever since college ended. I want this nightmare to end, but i want to hope it'll get better.

I got it from a "friend" in exchange for a few cigarettes, he has a nurse friend that can get him that kind of stuff, I felt normal for a while, after about five minutes I started feeling a bit different, like I felt when I was a kid, just careless, then I just felt like nothing really mattered, and instead of feeling bad like always, I just felt like happiness aquired a new meaning, it was a feeling of self-love that is hard to describe, then I just felt like dreaming, so I fell asleep, it's one of the best moments I've had in years, I have a bit if insomnia, so I really cherish the moments I can sleep. But it was definitely better than the high you get from weed, I just felt so contempt with myself that I dind't care about anything else.

Yeah. I was just reading about it and it seems you can get it without a receipt or anything. And what you're describing it seems to me like that episodes when I'm "down-but-good" (that's when my anxiety goes down and I can grasp a bit of fresh air). Do you suffer from anxiety? Many people who suffer from it and take some drug report these almost etheric states, like we have been living an oppressive lifestyle for so long that's is almost unbelievable what we're seeing.
I'm really happy for you, no doubt you had a great experience. It's just about not getting dependant on these shits.
I cant wait to buy some (if i can).

>happiness aquired a new meaning
beautiful

I'm just a 19 year old uni guy, but I hope you can get that feeling of suicide courage away. There's nothing worse than failing when you feel beave enough, it will rip your soul apart, and make you look for "artifficial happines" in drugs, and even if you get them, the effect won't last forever and you will just go back to the suixifal tendencies, it's a never ending cycle you don't want to be a part of

I fucked up, etheric = ethereal, English is not my first language and I'm prone to invent words

>It's another staying up all night episode while watching random videos thus keeping my sleeping schedule in fucked up mode

Attached: Pepe late night.png (1928x1568, 160K)

I became dependent on drugs in general because they gave me that fwwling of being normal, when I'm not on drugs I just feel like everything's different from everyone else, that's why I try to be either stoned or drunk most of the time, and at this point, it's getting in the way of real life, even if I prefer the version I get when I don't really think.
I used to deal with a lot of anxiety, so bad I wpuldn't even get out of bed, but I think I have improved a bit, in the past few months, it just get's easier to force yourself out of bed

Hey user, I'm here with you, nothing better than having lunch at 4pm and being tired the rest of the "day". I'm watching TF2 videos, how random are yours? Are you watching videotapes of cangaroos running backwards or something?

>It's another 'He thought he'd be able to keep this up a few more years before it all came crumbling down around me but oh, how wrong he was' episode

I just to be the smart kid, user. Then I just found out I was just trying too hard to please everyone, that's when everyone started avoiding me

>when I'm not on drugs I just feel like everything's different from everyone else
That's weird, drugs increase that feeling in my case, that's why I had to left weed. And alcohol just hurts my stomach so much. Right now I'm only on coffee (morning and midafternoon generally, sometimes more) to be able to do shit, and cigarrettes when my anxiety goes way up.

Also, the only real addiction I have is with sugar. And I mean it, I need it every fucking day. I developed since early childhood, my mother was my dealer and it stills is to some degree.

>user gets schizophrenia

I'm at the "unironic /x/phile", and have been for about a year now.

Attached: IWantToBelieve.jpg (600x750, 31K)

Well, I guess everyones midset is different, when I talk to others( usually when I'm high or drunk) I think everyone acts like me, the rest of the time, I feel alienated

why dont you sad fuckers just smoke weed lol like yeah its shitty every single day all second but if you can literally just eliminate sadness and make yourself laugh and shit instead of feeling physical pain from so many consecutive days of sadness why not do it

i mean the deep web is literally there. like right there. like there

Everyone needs something to hold on to, user. Hold on to what you have

because I want to finish university

what? you cant get a po box and smoke a joint when you want to kill yourself? i feel bad for you

glad i never fell for the college scam

>it's a "depression is the worst it has ever been and I can't do anything but refresh Jow Forums or lay on the floor looking at the ceiling" episode
It's a clip show and it has been playing for two weeks now. I can't take this anymore.

no I don't want to be too retarded to get a worthwhile GPA

Seeing couples every day everywhere is making me crazy.
>tfw I'm in the 'breaking point' saga

Attached: giphy.gif (500x225, 671K)

>relapsing on drugs and alcohol after regaining all my parents trust and watching my life slowly go downhill again episode
Hopefully the script writers throw in an episode where the love of my life comes back and I make friends too but guess I gotta wait for the next episode

Attached: FB_IMG_1518893400113.jpg (480x480, 27K)

It's the blackpill arc where our protagonist gets more and more mentally detached from the world and reading Fight Club for the fourth time speaks to him on a spiritual level.

>It feels like everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. Nothing can touch me

Attached: edward-norton-in-fight-club.jpg (480x240, 19K)

The "undergrad with almost 25" one.
I study something I don't even like, but I'm too far and too old to change the study (3rd semester), so I will somehow finish it with bad grades, then I will not be able to find a job of course, so I make myself independent.

Hanging out with friends in the parking lot blasting 80s music episode

>its another 'losing all sense of direction and purpose in my life' episode
Ehh, better than the
>'quitting my job and hooking up with my ex-coworker after my gf of 4 years dumped me' episode
That immediately preceeded it

Haha oh man I know this feel too well

Are you actually me?
>too autistic and clingy to make anything work with the girl I actually connect with
>too oversexed and 'charismatic???' to not take advantage of low-teir available women

>it's another "user ghosts all the people he knows for months and they don't really mind, and just sits alone smoking weed and thinking about how he's slowly losing it and how to survive in life and how to convey the meaning of life to people" episode
This story arc has been going on for way too long we need a change here.

Life defining exams start in 6 days. I'm scared of cancerous questions I won't be able to solve in the exam.

>the constant feeling that my life will never improve and general feelsbad episode because of loneliness and misunderstanding, guess im not ment for this world

>he got fired and won't tell his parents episode

Attached: 1525586623087.png (488x487, 422K)

The "try asking my oneitis out even though something's going to enviably get in the way as usual" episode part IX

Oh, it's a marathon this week, OP
>"user copes with dying alone"
>"user's only two friends ignore him"
>"user mows the lawn on an empty stomach while coughing and sneezing from inhaling the exhaust and pollen"
>"user lays in bed until 4 because he has no reason to get up"
>"user watches anime and tries to forget"

>it's another "I want to kill a family member for violating my trust" episode

you'd think I'd learn by now to not trust them

At least its not an 'user wants to kill a family member every time he wakes up in the morning purely because of how low-down shit they are' episode

im currently on the
>Visual Novels arent real,she doesnt know you exist user

>It's another get a girl's number but suck at texting these roasties episode
>It's another random bout of depression episode
>It's another cant talk to random wahmen episode

>it's a "become everything you hate, take a fuck ton of drugs and try not to kill yourself" episode

Attached: spike.gif (500x375, 755K)

>its another "intend to wake up at 6 am but instead wake up at 6 pm" episode

Attached: 1523696063112.png (540x537, 409K)

>it's another don't study and stay up all night on Jow Forums because of my self destructive internet addiction day

>it's another "friends ignoring me which leads to extensive drug abuse" episode

>Its another "Feel too old for Jow Forums but still spend way too much time here because I'm a NEET with too much spare time" episode

Attached: THE RIDE NEVER ENDS.jpg (863x752, 249K)

>its another shameful masturbation episode

flashback episode

>just sit in bed and think about all the mistake I've made in my life all day

>it's a 'the fight is over but the pain lingers' episode

>It's another one of those "go to work, eat, fap and play vidya during my 3 hours of freedom then sleep and repeat" episode

Every fucking day is exactly the same. Have been thinking on becomeing a NEE for a while now, but haven't figured out what to do about NEETbux.

Attached: 1516729002229.jpg (812x750, 100K)

It's the stupid faggot can't sleep at night episode again.
I don't know who writes this shit, but they love making this retarded character survive on like three hours of sleep every couple of days.

Dumbshits never going to figure it out.
Fuckin retard.

Oh look, another rerun of the one where "stops fapping for a while and build up some energy / motivation to organize his life - finally, but when he gets said energy he just uses it for another fap and resets the cycle".
That episode is so god damn tiresome, and it runs so often.

Havent had sex in 3 months and I wake up with raging erections and close to paranoic, extreme need to fuck, to the point I have to start doing pushups right out of bed so I can function.

I need to find a hole to fuck asap, my sanity depends on it.

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>finished listening to 70s music
>moved on to the 80s
>dreading the 90s

A my 400 lb life episode

Sometimes I just want to burst out and cry for no reason.