What's the best way to contract cancer?

I want to kill myself, but don't want anyone to find out that I did it intentionally.
How do I get cancer?

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Drown yourself. Much more efficient.
Trust me, I tried

holy sheit this is epic

Stick your balls in the microwave.

go on /mlp/

smoke a shit tonne of fags

i want it to end quickly tho
not THAT quickly

how do i close the microwave with my balls inside? It needs to be closed to start

Cut them off first dummy

make a nuclear reactor in your shed

Very realistic...
Then I wouldn't get cancer lol?

I'm seeing no set reason for cancer: the documentary Be Here Now really fucked me up, such a great guy got cancer; I used to think it was punishment for being weak.

I'd say start blacked threads on Jow Forums for two weeks and you're likely to get cancer

I'm not sure if the pic is supposed to be a joke but that's clearly not the same fucking kid
you never know with these normalfags

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its from instagram...
And no, it wasnt intended by the original instagram poster as a joke (that's why i screened it)

In a blaze of glory
Location: Detroit

if it wasn't meant as a joke why would someone photoshop his eyes?
you were baited by an instagram normalfag, how do you feel

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Chainsmoking

Feel like shit. Constantly

been there. done that. didnt work
Great idea! I can do the bloods gang sign & get shot by nigs

so you feel brown and stinky do you also happen to live in a ghetto and eat kfc for dinner

No, but I do live in a ghetto in Miami...
So you guessed one thing right

are blaaaaaaack
do you hate the way you dreeess

I'm not even black. I'm hispanic....
But I do dress like shit so i guess you've got a point there

microwave your balls

origogogo

>I'm hispanic
do you have a bad moustache
do you have greasy hair
are you a maaanlet

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you made this photoshop lol aa

you can reverse image search the OP and find multiples of the original on different sites

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Roll around in a radiation dump

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>Have a full moustache & beard (had one sinse 8th grade)
>Greasy hair
not really. I guess somewhat.
>Manlet
6 foot tall

Where can i find one nearby?
(Im willing to go quite long)

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Wonder around the railway tracks or a high place whilst drunk.

do you have nothing to live for
are you devoid of emotion
do you maybe have a mental illness but not really

Well, where do you live maybe I can help search for one? Take note they are usually very well secured and probably have barb wired fencing around the perimeter so people and animals stay out

>do u have nothing to live for
LOOOL y do you think im on Jow Forums?
>are you devoid of emotion
No
>Do you maybe have a mental illness but not really
I probably have autism but who cares

Little havana, Miami

I diagnose you with faggot disorder
symptoms may include: adult stage meme depression, bad sleep schedule, medium bad to bad diet, being emotionally sensitive especially in the "saddness" category, being scared of the future and bullshitting yourself that you "do not care"

I watch my diet bro.
But you're right i do sleep like shit.
I m not scared of the future.
I'm not going to be in the future

Radiation you fucking brainlet. Sleep with your phone while you're next to your pc so that the radiation from both will give you cancer. And only eat microwaved food which should be even easier to do.

Expose yourself to a strong source of UV light for long periods of time.
Otherwise, compromise your immune system while starving (most cancers are caused by a survival trigger caused by lacking nutriment inside the cell, but NK cells will deal with them too quickly for them to be a problem if you don't compromise your immune system).

>I m not scared of the future.
>I'm not going to be in the future
so why would you commit suicide if not for the future?

thanks for info. I'll try to do that
In case I fail i already got a gun

>radiation from your phone and pc

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Isnt cancer a painful way to die? Original

it is. but thats besides the point
where did i say anything about pain?