Joking around with girl

>tfw my auto immune system disintegrated my gf when she touched me

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Should have full nelsoned her then done an internal ass hold to the ground with your only free limb

Trust me bro, she will want you more now that you have displayed your true physical prowess without even trying.

I know this didnt happen, but i did something similar in highschool

>be in inschool detention for a week for smoking weed
>meet super cute trouble maker girl
>pass each other notes and shit
>when the teacher leaves we start talking
>get to be pretty good friends over the course of the week
>she does stuff like take my hat and throw paper at me
>she jokingly punches me in the shoulder
>autismactivates.png
>haul off and punch her in the gut and knock her over
>dont talk ever again
Lmao im retarded

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>turns and knocks you out with the other fist

>out drinking with gf at time and friends (18 y.o)
>altercation begins at cashpoint with 2 Chav girls
>girl slaps then punches me in the face
>I laugh in her face
>gf jumps in
>chavs go for her
>I stand between and push chav girl away relatively gently
>trips on heels and goes head first into shop window
>window wobbling like the star gate
>girl is on floor delirious and screaming
>begins to scream like a victim
>mfw CCTV and feminism
>pick up gf (in heels) and run.

>be at house party
>5'10, 170 male
>wrestled in college, kyokushin karate for 5 years, BJJ for a year and a half
>girl playfully asks to wrestle with me on the living room floor
>circle of drunk idiots watching, egging me on
>drunk as shit so I agree
>armbar her in less than a minute
>buck my hips up reflexively
>hear ligament tearing in her arm
>panic, she starts screaming bloody murder because her arm is all fucked up
>literally RUN out the open glass door (their living room opened to this patio/veranda area
>burst through hedgerow like kool aid man and escape into the night

>burst through hedgerow like kool aid man and escape into the night

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I don't get it, are you guys nerds or something?

Kek I can see it so clearly
>bursts through hedge to freedom
>internal “OOOOH YEAHHHH” before sprinting off
I would’ve done the same

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I'm enjoying this thread

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>be in college 3 years ago
>have a gf
>see the Sam Hyde the weak must fear the strong picture
>think it’s hysterical
>binge drinking at a party
>black out
>wake up in my gfs bed
>she tells me I was violently choking her while yelling the weak must fear the strong after the party
>start laughing when she tells me this
>she gets that serious voice this isn’t funny sort of thing
>keep laughing and go back to bed
>stay with her another year til we graduate
She didn’t post the #metoo thing so I guess I didn’t rape her or she didn’t mind

THOT STATUS = PATROLLED

did that to my mum accidentally but didn't dislocated her shoulder

>>pick up gf (in heels) and run.

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some kids in my old high school got thrown out permanently for smoking weed, and there was a massive assembly about it

Cool story.

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Why you wearing heels faggot

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