I thought I lost my FPS folder, but it turns out I'm just bad at being thorough. Have some FPS, Jow Forums
> femanon wants to go to Baskin Robbins > I'm on a cut > exasperated_sigh.gif > we go to Baskin Robbins > mom has spare tire spilling out of the bottom of her shirt > boy walks away from counter with ice cream the size of his head > me and my bro watch solar system family as femanon friend orders milkshake > eventually, bro says what the boy has actually looks pretty good. > I turn and ask 'what? His early onset diabetes? '
>At playground with foster brothers >Chasing them around, playing tag and all that >Chubby kid is on swings, being pushed by a huuuge woman >Not good with guessing weight but she was almost spherical and was at least 6 feet tall >Little chubby kid gets off swing and trots off to the jungle gym area >Fatty mom is huffing and puffing from pushing child >Proceeds to try and catch her breath by sitting down on a swing >Should've seen it coming >I should have expected this >She sits down >Swing chains tear out from the wooden swing set >She slams onto the ground, woodchips everywhere and lets out a strange BWAAH >Have to bite back laughter while attempting to help her up >She angrily stomps off to a bench >Theres a god damned imprint of her in the ground >Looks like a fucking police outline it's such a perfect trace
> be mexican > 1.88 mts, was slightly above 100 kgs > did cut, now Im reaching sub-90's > people starting to notice > user are you on a diet? > well yeah, I'm counting my calories and eating on a deficit, that plus daily exercise > oh user but you didnt look fat before, you looked ok > ehh no, using loose clothes and the height might camouflage my fatness but it was still there > well I think you were not fat but ok > mfw most of the people I encounter think this way > mfw when everyone in my country is ok with fat acceptance > mfw I dont wanna be a huge lardass... and everytime I go out (like today) like 6 out of 10 people has a big belly
>Be in gym >Go to steam room post hot tub >Landwhale genuinely taking up about 6 feet of space on one of the benches >only wearing a very loose towel (I left mine outside as I was still wearing trunks from hot tub) >I get stressed thinking about how much of his fat sweat is being held in the air >How much of it am I inhaling? >How many calories am I getting through my lungs? >relief when he gets up and leaves >nope, just going to shower, comes back >I leave after a few minutes, grab my towel and it is soaking wet >piece of shit fatty took my towel and left me his disgusting lard one
>cycle to college store to get healthy foods >get in line >hamplanet of a college student in front of me in the queue > bout 22, 5"6, holding only junk food > shes obviously self conscious.. can see her nervously bouncing from foot to foot as she eyes up the Crisps rack below the counter >picks a packet (hunky dory buffalo 8/10 ) > gets back in queue avoiding eye contact and noticing my healthy foods >not even bad facial symmetry though >starts doing her nervous bounce again before picking another packet of crisps and adding to the pile >pays for her empty calories and scuttles out >feel genuinely bad for her
>walking down Sheffield town centre with my nan >she's old and can walk fine but I'm still making sure she doesn't trip >300lb bitch appears on a mobility scooter, heading towards us >we are on the left hand side, taking up 1/3 of the footpath >bitch decides to continue scooting in the middle of the footpath, guaranteed collision >her face has that "I ain't moving, you move, I AM A BEAUTIFUL STRONG BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN" look >nah I'm good thanks >she brushes against me and topples over onto her side >screams "OW! You knocked me you should have moved you jerk you freak etc" >reply "lose weight" and walk off
>going to hang out with bro the other day >decide to bring donuts because cheat meal >get in line and theres 3 hambeasts ordering >they get 2 boxes full of fucking cookies >they just keep ordering more >1 asks for 2 cookies that she can eat in the car as if she didnt have enough already >asks the male hamplanet if he wants anything >says "no i already ate a bag of potato chips, im carbed up" >its only 10 am >then they ask if they have premade cakes >jesus christ what the fuck >order my 4 donuts and go to pay >they ask to have something written on it and have to move to where i am >almost mowed down by stomachs but don't move out of their way >male fatass smugly says "pardon us" and turns away >mfw
>in one of my classes, the majority of people there are overweight >at least 10 (out of 25-30) are obese >one girl is so huge that she can't fit in the desks >has to sit at a table in the front of the room instead >turns sideways to go through the door >the other hamplanets can fit in the chairs, but can't use the flip down part of the desk due to their lard >one day we're talking about problems of under and overnutrition >subject moves to obesity in the US >here we go >prof starts bringing up your typical tumblr shit >"obesity has been linked to certain genes and a different microflora of bacteria in the GI tract" >dismisses food and lifestyle >take a midway break from class >go out into the hall >the three obese females who bothered to come that day waddle out >they all head for the snack machine, slip their wallets out of their folds >buy a few snacks each and sodas >fatties gonna fat
>Leave Home Depot > see little middle aged woman struggling with a section of fence > she lifting one end and dragging the other > tell her I'll do it I lift it and follow her to her car > help her get it on top of her minivan and help her secure it > just as it is done a fat 20 something loser drinking a bucket of soda opens the passenger side door and gets in > he watched his mom struggle in public without even lifting one side of the fence
>pop disks in back > crippling sciatic pain > on crutches > alone so have to go out and buy food > hobbling on crutches down aisle in intense pain > almost everyone helps me or gives way > fat woman takes up entire aisle > gives me the look telling me she isn't going to move because that would waste precious calories > have to walk sideways to get by her > she leans into me when I am even with her causing massive pain > old woman coming in other direction sees me gritting my teeth in pain > she takes her cart to one side to get by fatty > fatty shifts like a quarter inch > old lady hesitates then slams cart into fatty's knee > hear fatty scream > old lady gets by fatty and turns and gives me a nod > true story- fat people all resented that someone might expect them to yield the way, they all think they should be treated like they are handicapped
i'm the guy that does the /fatass general/ threads on >be me last weekish >really hungry >craving rice krispy treats >go to make them but realize i don't have the cereal >crush up a bunch of chickin in a biskits in the marshmallows >give it a taste for good measure >end up eating all of it before i even put it on the tray help
Ryder Sullivan
I fucking love chicken in a biskets but they're death in a box. >and suicide is still illegal
>I have this really fat classmate who is Vegetarian >Claims she is the most healthiest person in our class >Does not work out and mostly eats potato chips and muffins at school >BTW she is REALLY really fat, 'arms are bigger than her head'-fat >My friend and I are sharing a chicken sandwich (he forgot his lunch) in the auditorium and drinking tea we bought >My friend is quite healthy, has a good body, works out but isn't a health nut, a 9/10 male species > Anyway he adds a bit of sugar and some honey-mustard sauce to his sandwich (brought a small pinky sized package from the cafeteria) >Fat girl sees all of it, how he adds sugar and honey-mustard sauce >Gives him a weird over the top look than back to the sandwich and tea and back to him >Says "Ok, not going to say about the meat this time but srsly, you're going to kill yourself with that much sugar and sauce one day" >My friend sighs really loud and says 'yeah ok thanks' >She gets frustrated and says "can't take criticism much?' >He says annoyed "What if I would comment on what you eat like those chocolate muffins and say you're unhealthy and fat but delusional about it, goddamnit?" >She gets angry and looks hurt and says something I can't really hear and turns around > "Fat bitch eat this" my friend says and throws the empty sugar and sauce package at her >She doesn't say anything nor turns back to her >I just sit there uncomfortable but proud too lol
>at Walmart >scooterfats errywhere >no more scooters for actual disabled people >suddenly a wild snorlax appears >already sweating mayonnaise after walk from car >no more scooters >hambeast has shitfit because she has to walk more >mayonnaise flies all over the greeters as ambulocetus flails around and cries about bad knees >a kindly old veteran appears. >He has only one leg, but manages to walk ok with a cane. >slips on mayonnaise and falls >greeters proceed to ignore hambeast and get a scooter for the veteran >hambeast starts screaming about unfairness >tries to hit the greeters >takes a swing, slips on own mayonnaise and falls to the floor >police arrive and arrest the flailing greasepile >mfw they search her and find an open jar of mayo and four kilos of chicken wings
I live in Finland, and my mother visited Colorado. She said that she couldn't finish a single meal in the week she was there, since they were so huge.
Also >she asked the way to some event she wanted to go to, that was near the hotel and she thought was close enough to walk to, 2km or so >hotel clerks jaw drops and he tells that other customers(mostly americans) took golf cabs and drove that distance all of the keks
Hate working with fat people: >work at a small indie cinema complex in Britbongistan >co-worker is an American-fat tier lardass >constantly bringing in the unhealthiest foods and complaining how she doesn't lose weight >sneers at my chicken and brown rice as 'no flavour' >everyone hates her >she's 40 w/ 2 chavy kids and everyone who isn't a manager is >25 >"pulled" her stomach last week deck scrubbing the floors and couldn't do any cleaning for two weeks >had to do all her cleaning and mine >best friends with two of the female managers so she'll never be fired
>be in Australian Army >be in Asia >a group of five of us go to some spa thing >some American Soldiers are also there >in the hot communal baths >they are making fun of Asians, we are talking malnourished sub 5'5" twig people, for having small penises >one guy in our group says "well at least they can see their penises" >we all laughed at the Americans >asian guy asks us what we said >tell him the joke >he yells it out in "asian" >whole place laughs at the Americans >they get mad and start yelling about how they have 9" dicks (sure, if they quadrupled in size, these were not well endowed people even in the warm bath) >the guy says "sure, 9" wang, too bad you have 20" of stomach to get to girl ahahaha!" The American military had to pay for the dental work the guy needed as well as a settlement, American GIs are banned from the spa
Thank you for sharing, o enlightened one. What's the mentality that leads up to a post like yours? I must know. I must replicate it.
Jace King
>3 years ago >sitting at front desk of high schools music department >obese bitch comes down with passes for students >"can you tell me where 1M7E is?" >reply "oh I can take it. This place can be confusing to run around in" >"haha I wouldn't like that. Thanks!" >"I can see that" >deathstare.fat >realize how that sounded >"...getting lost isn't fun" >fatty leaves while taking angry gulps from her 44oz drink >athletic as fuck marching band drill director bursting into treats behind me
>getting this defensive yeah it definitely didnt happen lmao
Josiah Lopez
>defensive I didn't even write it; I just think you're not going to make it in this decade. Decade is almost over, though. You'll have a chance soon.
Jace Sanders
My dad used to be a fireman and he told me this story once >Dad's team (I don't know what you call a group of firefighters. A watch? A unit?) gets called out >A coroner has requested help removing a dead body >They arrive >Coroner meets them and leads them to the bedroom >The fattest woman my dad has ever seen is... pooled on the bed >This is some next-level obesity >Coroner tells my dad & firemen that he simply can't move the woman (hereafter referred to as Mrs X) from the bed >After some consideration, firefighters decide on the logistics of lifting her >They are going to gather up the bedsheets and carry her in them like a bowling ball in a supermarket bag, then heave her out of the window (she lived on the ground floor) >It begins >Four or five men are lifting this gigantic mass, struggling towards the window >"Guys, she won't get through the window" >They have to destroy the window and remove the frame to get her out >They've got her on the floor next to the window, now just to lift her >It requires the help of everyone there >The woman's body catches the windowsill and rips it out of the wall in the effort >Finally get her out of the window and loaded into the coroner's ambulance
>The fire brigade later receive a letter >"Dear members of X watch, >Thank you for your assistance in moving the late Mrs X from her home a few days ago,
>After some modifications, it was possible to cremate her."
Can attest to this. I used to work in my granddads funeral home. Wont say where. We used to do our best to do whole body cremations, but on more than one occasion it was necessary to "modify" a body into thirds or quarters for cremation. Beats the fuck out of having the fat bastard burn down your business. Because if their fat liquifies, as it does, before it combusts, you get a torrent of flaming grease out of the front of your incinerator. Literally gallons of flaming grease. So you choose. Either you tell the family that Jim-bob is too fat to roast, something that gets you a non-compliance complaint with the ADA, you burn down your business trying to cremate the fat fucker, or you take off the limbs and half of the belly with a pig-cleaver. On the bright side, if you really hated the guy in life its surprisingly cathartic.
>be fat >turn fit >skinny bro wants to be fit >start getting him going to the gym >his mom is 500lbs and lacks support for both her son and her legs >bitches at him because he doesn't eat what's at the family dinner table >start bringing him to my house for meals >his mom finds out my cell # and texts me starting shit >tells him he can't use their car to go to the gym and can't use the tv/vidya/other amenities at their house if he's gonna be out of the house all the time >he caves, starts doing half-assed home workouts and eating shit again >makes no progress >later moves in with fat gf and turns into a fatty >doesn't like my gf so stops hanging out with me >i never got to fuck him fat people
I haven't insulted anyone, but I already knew I was fat on the inside. An eternal struggle not to consume retardation emanating from others. Today I failed. I'll get 'em tomorrow.
Background, I work as a medical assistant before I start med school next summer. One of my responsibilities is phlebotomy, drawing blood, for diagnostic tests >get called for blood draw >patient is a massive mexican moon >she has 22 inch arms. I'm mirin hard and wonder what her routine is >I make small talk while I tie the tourniquet on her arm to make it easier to find a vein >the elastic tourniquet is about to snap from being stretched by her huge arms >I try to palpate for a vein and can't feel a thing >she notices and says, "oh you must not be very good at this" >as if its my fucking fault that I can't find a vein and not her fault for being a fat piece of shit with diabeetus, hypertension, and hypercholesterolemia >I grind my teeth >[raging internally] >feel what I think is a vein >tell her, "no I'm good at this" >stab her with the needle >draw out blood perfectly >bitch doesn't even apologize
After the blood coagulated and I spun them in the centrifuge her serum, the liquid portion of the blood, looked like melted butter. Normally it is a clear pale yellow color but not for this fat bitch
>be sittin inna car outside of stripmall >see absolutely slammed mazda 3 with tinted windows For context, I also drive a lowered mazda 3 so I was a little curious >doors open >2 hamplanetz exit the car >hear the suspension groan, as though to lament its cruel existance >car returns to stock hight But its not over yet >they start making their way to the Wendys >but a hard choice lays beforw them >walk an extra 15 feet and use the ramp or step over the curb >first planet manages to step up onto the curb with difficulty >second one tries, fails twice before giving up and using the ramp >somehow this didnt signal to them that perhaps wendys was not the ideal choice.
>stories >stories >stories Are these just old copypasta? It's been so long, I don't remember. Have the glory days of FPS returned to unseat the tedium of FPH?
I don't have any actual stories to contribute, not many lardasses in my area, but I'll try: >used to be poorfag >work what was essentially a customer service job, sitting at a front desk and minding the displays >layout of the building means I can see several other poor bastards working the same shit job >it's one fucker per area, so if you take a break, your section closes >bosses restrict us to 15 minutes break per workday >one of the others is a classic tumblr whale >always complaining about miscellaneous pain, bad joints >i can see her station from where I sit >multiple bathroom breaks of more than 10 minutes >skiving off for smoke breaks that turn into full-fledged meals >bosses eventually come down hard on all of us Gee, I wonder where the stereotype of fat people being lazy came from
Eli Morales
>I used to work in my granddads funeral home >We used to do our best to do whole body cremations, but on more than one occasion it was necessary to "modify" a body c'mon, stories man
Joseph Foster
>Have the glory days of FPS returned to unseat the tedium of FPH? I've noticed that as the warmer months come there's a sudden surge in actual stories rather than thinly veiled fetish posting. Must have something to do with fat fucks awakening from hibernation and being forced to interact with the general public as they leave their dens to seek out calories to restock the few they've burned in their slumber.
Ethan Howard
>Are these just old copypasta? Yeah m8; I could avatarfag if it helps differentiate new from old, but I think that ruins the fun of newfags responding to me in earnest. we're in 2014 moving backwards I have around 350 left
kek
Noah Howard
No personal experience, but a company I worked for had crematoriums as clients. One told us that basically you had to do fat people at a lower temperature or else the retort could explode.
Matthew Jenkins
I think I've posted this one before, but it's relevant again
>Work in a gym >Talking to members when I take note of this large lady >Walks straight to these machines called NuSteps >Think nothing of it >Start wiping machines and notice her drink is from McDs, no lid, and on the ground >Go over there to tell it to get rid of the drink >As I walk up to her, I see she is eating a Big Mac >The inner rage mixes with my shame for humanity >Tell her she needs can't eat in the gym >gets mad at me and compares it to protein shakes >Says Im targeting her because shes fat >Her shitstorm of a reaction builds up and eventually gets her membership revoked
But for real, what the fuck?
Another one >2013 Jan >Sitting at desk >Large woman walks in and gets on a recumbent bike >5 minutes later notice something odd about her drink choice >Lady has a gallon of sweet tea with a huge straw coming out of the top >Before I even react lady packs her stuff >As she walks by the desk she says "Boy that was a great workout! Worked up a sweat"
>worked at nursing home >get this one whale >double wide wheelchair >I have to push this mound that is roughly 3 times my own size >out a double-door that does NOT open automatically, the door is too narrow so I need to open both at the same time >If go forwards, can't open in front of the wheelchair I'm behind >If go backwards, the doors will slam into the whale's legs, I'll get in trouble >god bless nurses, one sees me and opens the doors for me >next up >a hill >an uphill >drawing vector diagrams in my head >axis at angle >down/backward component of gravity nearly exceed forwards component of my pushing force >throw my back into it, abdomen against back of wheelchair >seat is some sort of double-reinforced fabric >which means it's bulging out from the mass on the other side of it >well, that's what scrubs are for >haul this beast up the hill like Sisyphus >but wait >coming back the same way >take wheelchair down the hill backwards so the lardtub doesn't just fall out of it >constant exertion to control descent >warning: thrusters reaching critical >error, error >one side of chair gaining more speed than other >starts tilting >ah fuck no >use body to bump it back level >look down >part of its shirt that is bulging over the containing wall of the wheelchair's seat is completely soaked in sweat >scrubs are short sleeved >contact established
>Genetic major >Innalab >Studying mutagens >Sitting between qt redhead and 200lb polynesian female, opposite South African gymbro >Demonstrator tells us to partner up with out neighbour >Start to feel nervous >Quickly count pairs off down the table I'm at >no please >please god no >"Ah'm Repecca" (no typo their ape language doesn't have a 'b') >"A-user" >South Africunt is losing his shit >Here we fucking go >To start the lab we have to prepare two dozen cultures of salmonella >I have to pipette the bacteria onto the dish because she literally cannot get the tip into the test-tube >She starts talking about food >I thought this was an exaggeration, but she literally waxed eloquent for the ten minutes it took me to prepare the cultures about McDonalds >Mention I work at KFC, still trying to be reasonably polite >"OH MY GOD THAT'S AMAZING DO YOU GET A STAFF DISCOUNT" >Tell her I don't eat there if I can help it >She stares at me like I'm retarded >Finish last culture just in time, time for the next part of the lab >South Africunt is still wearing that shit-eating apartheid grin >Glare at him >We had to bring our own 'mutagens', basically for fun to see what household items were potential mutagens >The Titanic Tongan brought nothing, staying true to her theme of doing nothing helpful >Bitch probably would have brought an apple or something anyway >I brought along a baggie of brotein powder >Start preparing filter paper discs with it >Tropic Thunder catches a whiff of it (ON cookies & cream masterrace) >"That smells so good user. Is it cake mix? Can I try some?" >Tell her no >"Why not?" she tries to look at me with puppydog eyes, but she can't tilt her head down far enough due to excess chins >Bertstare >"You'll contaminate it." >She huffs and starts to ignore me >lol okay >Finish prepping filter circles, share them out with the rest of the lab
>Apply various household products to cultures along with some confirmed mutagens from the lab staff in case none of our stuff works >All without her help >Four-hour lab, finish with 45 minutes to spare >"Took you long enough." >Ignore her by sheer force of will >tfw I have to see her again in a fortnight at our next lab >tfw she will either talk about food and do nothing to help or sit there being fat and not help >tfw I'm going to do my PhD on genetic's impact on obesity
>Be working in mental home >help with serving dinner every night >platters of butter on the table for the consumers to use are laid out each evening >since butter doesn't go bad we reuse it >the butter is disappearing faster than normal >think it's the consumers because retards do shit like that >after a week or so of watching, don't see any suspicious butter-consuming habits >stop thinking about it because notmyproblem.jpg >a month later they fire one of the kitchen staff, i cover >routines all fucked up because i've not worked it before >carted some plates to the kitchen >the dishwasher is a hamplanet mexican woman who is really goddamn stupid >leave the cart there and start walk out >realize i didn't grab a new empty cart because tired >go back to the kitchen >hamplanet is facing the other way and licking the butter >licking the fucking butter >mfw >I cough and she jumps, pretends to be looking at the plate closely >say nothing >take the cart >tell my supervisor what I saw later
turns out she was also eating the "still good" food from the consumer's plates
>be inna frat, some time in my second year there >feels pretty okay, honestly, they aren't as chadbrochill420 as they could have been >three day weekend from school >frat throws parties on saturday and sunday, completely blasts most of the communal alcohol we had for the weekend >monday rolls around, like a quarter the frat wants to keep it going, throw another party, other guys holed up in their rooms studying >very little alcohol is left >cue Tim and Eric to the scene >not a joke, literally their names, they were huge fans of the show, too >they have an idea >a brilliant, wonderful, stupid fucking idea >we throw the shittiest party we can >boring as fuck, no alcohol, only like a fourth of the rooms open >thefuckareyouretardstalkingabout.graphictee >"So listen, we all have that one chick in a class or whatever that's fat or ugly or something, but is constantly all over us trying to get into a frat party, right?" >pretty accurate >"So instead of being dickheads and telling them to fuck off, we just invite them to the shittiest party ever and they never want to come back!" >looking back, this is the dumbest beta idea ever, but at the time they were drunk and persuasive, and it sounded funny as fuck >everyone laughs, says it's a great idea >the texting of many duffs begins. >basically fat girls look at frat parties the same way skeezy guys do, they creep around the edges looking for someone drunk enough to take advantage of, so they all show up >we start up the party in the shittiest way possible >we've already had fully half of the remaining alcohol by the time they arrive >no music >lights are all up >nothing 'party' is happening whatsoever >chubby/fat girls start showing up by the pod >they're quiet at first, we all continue to ignore them >suddenly critical mass is reached, something clicks >hungryskeletonbro gets grabbed by two chubsterschicks and pulled on to the dance floor >like orcas separating the weak from the school 1/?
>one of the girls is playing music on her phone >the dual fatties have him pinned between him >"oh hungryskeleton, you're such a hottie, it's too bad the rest of your brothers don't want to dance! Teehee!" >his despairing face calls out for help, though his crushed lungs are unable to form the words >we look on in increasing horror as the dance floor is populated by living nightmares of blubber and tights >theyrehavingfun.SWEETMOTHEROFCHRIST >on this day our dumbass fucking frat had a grim reminder >chubby girls are only timid at parties because their intimidated by the competition >hungryskeletonbro2 fends off an orca attack from the dance floor with the help of IndianBro >INITIATE PLAN B >Everyone scatters to their rooms >maybeifweignoretheproblemitwillgoaway.wwII >I end up in my big bro's room playing dynasty warriors >fuckyeah.CaoRen >we're sitting on his half-sized futon, you know the type I'm talking about, there would conceivably be room for another person, but we're maximizing how much room we're taking up >we assume the closed door will deter the hunters >how could we be so wrong... >door opens and two pufferfish enter >we focus harder on chink-fighting >"Oh hey guys, just playing some video games in here instead of hanging out with us ladies?" >Bigbro was alpha as fuck, really cool dude >"There's nothing I wanna see out there, so yeah." >"Well it's a good thing we're in here then!" >bonecrushers repeatedly try to sit on our laps, bigbro keeps pushing them away, telling them they're blocking the tv >Shit, fucking Lu Bu mission >they are completely undiscouraged >he eventually climbs into his loft bed to keep playing, leaving me to sit with the more timid one on the futon >Oh fuck, two squads attacking mine, gotta get my combo on 2/?
>alphafat, hanging off the ladder to the bed "Oh, are you trying to get away?" >Bigbro "YES." >af "I think you want me to come up there, teehee!" >god why am I so shitty at dynasty warriors it's just fucking button mashing >OHGODHELP >entire crotch region suddenly being rubbed hard by betafatties flipper, her face is in my ear >"We shouldn't let them have all the fun, should we?" >drop controller, flee room >bolt to the hallway, leaving Bigbro to his fate >sorry bro >emerge into the party area >chaos and terror >see original hungryskeletonbro literally running from the two orcas down one of the hallways >everywhere bros being cornered, trying to bail each other out >big blue has somehow heard about this >has pushed southkoreanbro into a corner, is trying to make out with him but he keeps turning away >consider abandoning him >have to be strong, like indianbro >"Hey Ji!" >the light of hope comes across his face as he turns toward me >bad call >big blue's face engulfs his >I can physically see her tongue pushing its way into his mouth >channel mighty spirit of indianbro >shove big blue >she literally does not move, must weight at least three hundred pounds >her maw turns toward me >"Hey, get the fuck off him, he's engaged!" >"Not too engaged to make out with a hottie, user!" >the beast is distracted >SKbro runs >I mean fucking runs, full on sprint >suddenly realize I am alone on the dance floor with Jabba the blue >"Oh I get it, you wanted me for yourself, huh, user?" >ITSCOMINGSLOWLYTOWARDSUS.DRR >back away, shoulder against the wall >"Don't you want a girl with big titties like mine?" >literally cups the meatslabs resting on her belly and jiggles them at me >why must I know this fear again >my hand comes up against a corner >OHGODNO.me >fucking trapped >trapped like a rat >I'm going to die a kingmanlet crushed beneath a whale >look around >three or four other guys in similar situations >the orcas are picking off betabros 3/4
>think about pushing her >remember that my hands will only sink deeper into the nightmarish tarblubber that makes up her 'body' >panicpanicpanic >sudden eclipse of the hamsun as a chubster drifts closer to me in orbit >I recognize her >this is the one I have stat class with >she makes eye contact with me, and looks concerned at the panic in my face >my arm strikes out, trying to escape the blue sun's gravity well >so close, come on! >I grab the chubbies outstretched hand >stupidest possible thing comes out of my retard mouth >"No way, I've already got a date tonight!" >Mighty predatory whale's face falls, Statchubby looks elated >as the sun's attention turns away I hear her muttering "Her tits aren't as big as mine, fag!" >all I feel is relief >like taking the biggest dump ever while passing a test >completely forget my hand is now linked with statchubby >sudden pressure on hand >OH GOD WHAT >statchubby is beaming at me, looks happier than anything in the world >"Oh, I uhm, uh." >SC "It looked like you needed some help, user, I'm glad I was here for you!" >"Oh shit, uh, yeah, thanks for saving me, I guess." >SC "I mean, I know I'm overweight, but gosh, she was gross!" >awkwardlaugh.me >SC "I'm glad I could help keep her away!"
She ended up walking with me to my room, wishing me a good night. She literally fucking kissed me on the forehead before leaving. I was a whiteknighting betafag in highschool, but I never fully understood the position I put people in until this girl did the same shit to me. It's fucking weird.
Also did you want to have sex with your bro while you have a gf?
Angel Lewis
this is /fit of course you must be new here thanks for the bump
Sebastian Scott
someone post taco time
William Smith
Why are there not many FPS threads anymore?
Luke Russell
>not smashing statsfat
Jaxon Cruz
having sex with a feminine, smooth, luxurious person like a woman, it sounds pretty gay, like only a gay guy would want those things no a manly alpha man wants firm tight buttcheeks, a sweaty strong set of muscles, and plenty of chest hair, that's the manly alpha thing to do
What the fuck, I thought you were talking about the same cinema I worked at for a second. Had a huge assistant manageress who had to walk up the stairs and take a break at the top before going into the screens, which had, at worst, another 5/6 steps into the seating area. Also >Ate to herself what my then friend (now gf) shared for tea >Lunch was usually greggs, then would get a bag of sweets, like the big M&M bags and eat it, then get a subway sandwich, then have tea, which like I said, was huge. >Ate an entire cake to herself when her cat died
I could come up with more and my girlfriend still works there, gives me updates that make me laugh. The funny/tragic thing was that she went to hospital a few years ago and lost a lot of weight, went down from what was easily 350 to about 220(?). She's back up to 300 range again now and has to have an oxygen tank for the walk to her house, which involves no hills and is about 5 minutes.
>work with some dudebro and a hamplanet >sometimes brings in her ankle biting rat dog to stink up the place >she is always bragging about her tits (which are big but proportional to her girth) >constantly claiming she sore from starting P90-x >one day "LMFAO-sexy and i know it" comes on her radio and she starts singing along >gets the to part where it says "I work out" >dudebro just shuts her down and says "no you don't" >had some piece and quite for once that afternoon
>one summer a few years back, the fair is in town >i'm with my family, younger cousins etc. pretty boring >notice enormous flesh pile move into the periphery of my vision >slowly moving towards the tea cup ride >iwanttobelieve.jpeg >i turn to see that there's an entire squadron of these lards >they all have those spray bottles with motorized fans attached to the ends >constantly spritzing themselves and one another and bitching about the heat >it was a temperate summer evening >drowning themselves in sprite and ice cream to cool off >the pastriarch has paid his admission for the tea cup ride >i have no idea how he was able to wedge himself into one of the cars, i guess his legs were relatively small compared to his astronomical gut >after 1 minute he is visibly in agony >all the other tea cups spin around as the carousel turns. his is eerily static >he soon starts trying to flail his engorged limbs to get the attention of the carny >the ride stops prematurely as everyone runs from their tea cups in horror >the "man" is crying. the kind of crying you did when you were a child where you try to talk but you sort of start hiccupping instead >there also appears to be blood coming from somewhere >he can't get out of the tea cup and nobody knows what the fuck to do >his herd are losing their shit, wailing and screaming "he's gonna die if you don't do something" >amongst this chaos i see the second fattest from the group trying to get the others' attention >she keeps saying, "they're gonna stop selling churros in an hour. we need to place an order NOW!" >5 minutes pass before a toothless, bearded carny comes running with an angle grinder to destroy the overencumbered tea cup >the mass had to be air lifted to hospital, with one of the paramedics refusing to be winched up alongside him for fear that the cable might break >one of the other seismotrons had to be taken away by an ambulance after they started hyperventilating heavily >i also won $10 at the pitch and toss
>fat fuck with our group >out of breath climbing 5 stairs >gasping while putting on clean room suit >you need to do that up >I can't >guy goes off to find a fucking tent or something >doing tests and shit >grunting over using tweezers cos his hands are so fat >site tour goes past sweet canteen >its like a restaurant seriously >fat fuck suddenly has many questions >I bet they threw away that clean room suit, it was soaked after 2hrs
Every time I see this I start feeling extremely bad for the son. Retard mother acts like a toddler when faced with a child who doesn't want to do chores (like, you know, every other child in the world) and has to watch his own mother rot away on a couch then get blamed for it in a court of law
>pic related I'm mad. This can't actually be true. R-right? Please.
Jonathan Campbell
>living in a fraternity early in college >have just moved in, roommate not arrived yet >older brothers decide to through a party >keystoneandsorostitutes.png >early in the night cool older bro, Tim, brings in 7/10 girl with giant rack, asking to use my refrigerator because my room is right next to the party area >"y-yeah of course." >girl leaves a dirty thirty of keystone in my fridge, I periodically grab one with her permission >I hang out in my room watching Planet Earth because drunk/high >third or fourth time entering the room she brings her friend >the duff >easily twice my weight, and I am king of manlets and not hungryhungryskeleton >blue dress, literally looks like the blueberry bitch in willy wonka >7/10 - "Thanks so much for letting us use your fridge user, that's super cool of you!" >"Oh, no problem, not like I had to do anything." >at this point I am SUPER INTO this episode of Planet Earth. >fucking open ocean, dude >Blueberry "Yeah, user, we totally owe you one, teehee!" >fail to even register what is happening because too engrossed by fish >7/10 "Do you mind if we just sit down for a minute before we leave?" >only seating is futon, which I am currently sprawled halfway across absorbing fascinating fish facts from the hypnotic voice of Sir David Attenborough >"Sure whatever." >Teehee >both sit down, I am completely ignoring them >not being alpha, just that degree of drunk/high where this video was more important than anything else in my life >leap to my feet, knocking my head against the lofted bed above me >NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PAIN >the eyes of the predator are turning back toward me >she has listed slightly to the left, blubbery flesh is now touching my foot, threatening to engulf my calf >leap from the futon towards the door, opening it the rest of the way >"OHSHITMANHOOKAHTHATSOUNDSGREATSUREDOLOVEHOOKAHHEYSORRYCAN'TSTAYGUESSYOUGOTTALEAVESORRY" >the fat blocking its ears keeps it from understanding the words, but it understands this tone
>it's prey has escaped >with an exasperated sigh, it rolls to its feet and waddles away as I flee my room, ready to abandon my every material possession >it will be back, but I will be ready
Indianbro later told me the fatty is always trying this on new guys, they only let her in because her hot friends won't come if we kick her out, he'd been assigned to fatty defense that night. He did his job well. I have literally been hit by a car going thirty and I've never been that afraid. His were the hairy, brown, curlbro arms of an angel that night.
I hope not but I'm still going to do a cursory internet search out of morbid curiosity
Logan Stewart
I didn't find anything. (I did find things much worse and that made me sad, too.)
Nolan Bailey
I see I'm sorry about that user. Take care. //blog As someone who's father passed away at on old age and thin due to an illness that really hits home. Maybe that's why it makes me so angry. fuck fatties man
Oliver Martin
>be me, college freshman >thicc nigress roommate >strongindependentblackwomanwhodontneednoman.gif >doing homework one night, hear her yelling at her boyfriend to put money in her bank account so she can get mcdonalds >leaves and comes back with a large order of fries, large shake, and two burgers >thinking "well I guess it's cool if she's treating herself just this once, still disgusting but good on her" >thinking I'm just salty because I'm fasting and havent eaten in 3 days and am probably absorbing calories from the thick greasy stench alone >oh god was I wrong >bitch does the same thing every single night for weeks >no joke, a bag of mcdiabeedus and/or wendys every single fucking night >how >the weight continues to pile on >yukongoldlookinass.png >a few months pass, says she's gonna quit fast food >good on her, tell her I can help her plan some meals but she gets triggered >"dont talk to me with your skinny privilege, some people just have bad genetics" >hope and pray she'll eat better so I dont have to look at her massive gut anymore >nope.jpg >comes home one night with a family sized bag of flaming hot cheetos (obviously, because nigger), a full pack of oreos, skittles, goldfish, cheez-its, the works >bitch cleared out the entire snack aisle >mfw she wont stop talking about how proud she is that she quit fast food >mfw she tells me I need to eat more, calls me anorexic and says fasting is unhealthy >mfw she cant change clothes without draping a bathrobe over herself >mfw I dont feel bad
Had something similar happen, except we didn't bring it on ourselves quite as bad. > party winding down > most fratbros hooking up with someone or too drunk to know what's happening. > all the sudden a wave of hamplanets stream in through the front door. >apparently some drunk fag invited all the gender studies hamplanets to the party. > I run into my room from 2 hungry looking beasts >don't know what to do >idea.jpeg >I'm a terrible impulse buyer >look over my pile of stupid shit, then I find it > tshirt cannon and megaphone >pile of old gym shirts > proudly exit my room >"get the duck out of here you fucking whales" >the hamplanets align looking to attack > suddenly one charges, screaming about sexism and fat acceptance. >ftoom! Caught it right where a tit should be. > the rest scatter, some waddle out the door, other roll out. >fratbros hold massive party next day in my honor. >mfw
Not many other fat stories. Only other time I had to deal with landwhales in college was when some clingy fat bitch refused to leave a pledge alone >he had to bag a hambeast as part of his hazing The t shirt cannon was the solution to that problem as well.
We had a special gurney at the funeral home I worked at because we got so many dead fats it had hydraulic lifts, after several injuries it was really just cheaper to invest in a fat cart
Michael Evans
I would've thrown you a party, too. If I was that pledge I would've bought you a six pack, at least. Probably a bottle of something terrible. You're a hero, user.
Colton Davis
A small-intimate-gathering of firefighters
Hudson Butler
This never happened. I'm angry that you think we are stupid enough to believe it. Let me point out the most glaring problem with this story. >Asians >Making a scene I live in Asia. These morherfuckers will sit quietly with a stab wound waiting til they can quietly ask for a doctor.
