Growing up, how did your parents affect how you are today?

user, you gotta push back sometimes otherwise they are going to grind you to dust. And it's harder to build a statue from dust than from two shattered pieces

That's real fucked up, friend.

Trying to move out on a perm basis as soon as I can. About to turn 19 and I realize that they will never give me the freedom a 19 year old should have to enjoy life

>ITT: Adult faggots blame their parents for their troubles.

Listen you little shit, if you're old enough to drink, drive, have sex and/or vote depending on your country, you're your own man and should take responsibility for your behavior, achievements and failures. No amount of Freudian finger-pointing will take away the blame for your failings - if something in your personality isn't to your liking, change it just like you change your body. To say you have a tendency for something due to your raising means nothing, end result is everything.

You're aware enough of the things that bother you in yourself, you're smart enough to know how maymay arrows work, then you're smart enough to figure out what it takes to change them. God fucking dammit you're likely still under 20, your brain is as flexible as a 14 year old gymnast, you can totally change yourself backwards and forwards in the next decade.

Food for thought: if your raising is responsible for your failures and difficulties, and therefore they're not your responsibility, why would your successes and advantages be any different?

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My childhood and teen years boil down to bad parenting (dad left), two abusive stepdads, fast food several times a week because mom didn't have time to cook and take care of us, changing schools all the time because our economic situations was unstable, which lead to lack of lasting friends and poor social development, which led to tons of bullying and me becoming a fat lazy retard who did nothing all day but play videogames and oversleep.

I don't blame my mom because the situation was obviously shit for all of us, but it was a rough path and it had a lot of carryover to adulthood. Couldn't get a job, didn't get accepted in uni for years (in my country we do a nationwide test and based on our score we can get on different unis, the public ones usually being the best and the only ones we can afford), had no friends, no girlfriends, no motivation, my health was pretty bad for a young guy, I was diagnosed with depression but we couldn't pay for medicine, etc. And of course I had no self-discipline because I never had to develop study or physical habits.

Fixing this shit as an adult requires a lot of willpower and self-knowledge. One major reason why our childhood has such a big impact on our lives is that our brains is no longer that malleable after a certain age, so patterns of thinking and patterns of behavior that got to us early tend to stay and we're no longer that responsive to new cues. Changing that can be hard, because you have to target and destroy these patterns before new ones can replace them. It feels like you're in an endless struggle against yourself.

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Nigga my mother stole my money and lost my house.

>t. someone who was raised in a normal family and is a fuck up anyway

>Food for thought: if your raising is responsible for your failures and difficulties, and therefore they're not your responsibility, why would your successes and advantages be any different?

but they arent.

Food for thought: if you compared two harvard students with the same grades, who would be more impressive?

one guy who comes from a healthy family of white collar professionals from suburbia and went to some elite private school.

or some guy who was raised by a bipolar junkie single mom?

do you think both lived life on the exact same difficulty?

t. depressed """"badass""""

Not complaining about my family. Though my parents cockblocked me pretty hard I still see all the good they did for me and i genuinely feel blessed for the family I have. Jusy wanted to vent some things out. I can complain about stuff while fixing myself at the same time

I accept your point, we admire more someone who has overcome difficulties, and I'm certainly not saying everyone start out at the same point on the running track; but that someone still overcame their difficulties and can take credit for that.

Dad was a tough guy and encouraged me to be tough as well he always wanted me to play sports and make friends but i was socially retarded so I never went out and i could tell he was disappointed but didn't ever wanna force me to go outside

also I got into a lot of fights because i had anger issues dad told me never to start a fight but also told me if somebody shoves that i should shove back finally he ended taking me to the boxing gym when i was 14 so i could be tougher and ended falling in love with it and gaining more self coincidence

I will say that without dad i would have killed myself im still depressed and still lonely but i would have a lot more worse without him

I grew up on a farm, taking care of animals and driving tractors from a young age. Drank tons of raw milk, which has made me completely unable to drink low-fat dairy products
My big brother was very athletic, so my parents tried to get me into sports, but realized I was more the creative type quite early and focused on my drawing and writing
When I was 12 and fat, my mom stopped stocking snacks and white bread in the house and told me to eat an apple whenever I whined about being hungry, by 14 I was in good shape thanks to her
My dad is always telling me and my bro to not waste our genetic potential, which in my case means I'll keep lifting

I have pretty good parents desu

Are you me?

Your parents love the shit out of you, you fucking softies. Grow up.

Congratulations you crybaby, you had a standard childhood, and in all of human history up to 100 years ago people would have had to be royalty to even come close to your level of comfort. You lacked nothing and had every comfort and luxury imaginable, in fact you complain you had TOO MUCH of things ancient men could only dream of. Fuck off.

>Parents were pretty over protective so I never developed any traits to explore or do anything without their approval
>was usually left alone so I became docile at home watching tv and surfing the internet, discovering porn at 11 also
> always got yelled at and was subject to having to listen to them fight almost everyday, so I'm always tense in the house now, never showing a bit of enthusiasm around them
>step dad is old as fuck so i never had anyone to experience other fields I might be interested in
>he was a day trader also into real estate, so he did nothing but relax in the house, which I'm sure I subconsciously took up

Wish I developed in a normal household, to be honest

Fuck balls, are you me? Ikft man

I dont think it completely fucked me up; im sure a bit of drug use, ecstasy on weekends age 16-17 while raves was still "underground", did some of it but....
>dad died of cancer when i was 7
>mom packed up life and moved across the country as far as she could go
>when from 2 POC in K-12 school in the country to Multicultral school where i was one of she didnt have many friends; was a bit racist too
>confided in me; (see parentification) would always talk over me, i never shared my personal problems with her. Probably because i felt like i couldnt. She doesnt know or understand mental health issues i likely have
>still have issues when im around her around other people; unexplainable rage/annoyance
>she loves to make scenes if things dont go her way especially if other people are with us
>she would "clean"/organize my room or hire a maid to do it when i would be awayf rom home more thana few times. Once a came home and she took my bed out of my room; leaving me with nothing in there after i was coming home from a 30 hour transit flights with only a few hours of sleep. Was baffled that i started freaking out at her and generally acting insane stomping around and screaming.

Also adding, mom never cooked. When she did it was completely flavorless didnt believe in using salt because "salt is bad for you"; if we dont use salt we also dont need to use pepper
>grew up on junk food, frozen food, pasta with butter or canned sauce
>wasnt allowed to do sports in elementary school because she didnt want to drive us, "youre just going to quit so i dont want to buy all the uniforms and shoes" was what she said after my first sports meet
>joined a two sports in high school; never attended any meets.
>at least she was cheap and didnt let us get sodas while we were out except mcdonalds $1 any size drink.

no her kids are all white

Dad a successful physician, mother an accomplished historian, both from humble backgrounds. Raised me to be independent, take responsibility for my failures and my success because ultimately my life was mine to live.

Now I'm here wondering why you faggits are always complaining instead of getting shit done.

Nigger why would you even give her the money and leave her in charge of your house when you've known her all your life. This was bound to happen.

Not much. My older brother was the mischievous one so they were occupied with him. I just spent my teenage years skateboarding, playing guitar and videogames. They divorced when I was in grade 4 or 5. Unfortunately that meant I lived with my mother and went into highschool thinking if I was likable and funny, the girls would just come to me.

>dad left
>granddad died before I became self-aware
>mother blames everyone else for any of her problems, literally went "tfw too smart to be successful"
>so smart she can't learn to use gas stove igniter (open gas, press button, spark comes out, gas ignites) I shit you not
>constantly told me how I'm smarter and better than everyone else
>coddled me, I was afraid to go outside alone until I was like 12 or something
>no sports ever despite the PE teacher at school telling her to sign me for martial arts because I obviously had 0 confidence
>other shit that I can't bother typing out right now, but basically has massive ego despite having nothing to show for it, secretly considers literally everyone else inferior, less educated, less sophisticated
>manipulative as fuck, literally proud of being a dumb mopey bitch because "2deep2be happy"
I hate the bitch. I wouldn't be surprised if she drove my dad away. I wish she got cancer and I could just abandon her to die alone and in pain, but I can't do that.

Well you can still move the fuck out of there. She sounds narcissistic as fuck.

I did. I'm slowly unfucking myself.

Loving something doesn't mean that you can't fuck it up, or that you arn't retarded.
Lenny sure loved that puppy but it didn't stop him from petting it to death.

struggle is glorious

Your mother has borderline personality disorder, and your dad is codependent. Your mother is toxic, cut her off, and put your father on a strict information diet. You only talk to him once a week, and as soon as he brings up food, there's a penalty. Don't talk to him for a week, then a month, then three months.

you shouldn't blame yourself, but you shouldn't let it continue

She's a cunt. Cut her off.

This cunt too has borderline personality disorder. They NEVER get better. I hope you cut her off. She'll ruin your life if you let her, and everything and everyone in her. Even a bullet is wasted on her, let her rot.

>dad was a true chad
>army NCO, loves jungle trekking, hunting and mountain climbing
>tried hard to build a man out of me
>frustrated by my pigheadedness and laziness
>I was content to live out my childhood on food, tv, vidya and deviantart-tier autism
>literally cried like a baby whenever he forced me to climb a tree/swim etc.
>he was ashamed of me
>tfw I was literally pic related

Its only after I got repeatedly humiliated, bullied and laughed at in college that I started my journey to Chaddom.

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Joe rogan grew up learning tae kwon do. Don’t blame others for being a bitch

Yes he had the comforts but he never had adaquate social development for the times we live in. Now he'll be stunted and will have to learn these skills on his own which will take precious time.

Cut her out of your life and money. Let her rot.

There is no making it. What the fuck is making it. When you get your "dream physique" which you never will because your body isn't the same as the people you want to look like, will you stop lifting? Will you feel like you've done enough? Or will you continue lifting? Only do maintenance work? Don't fucking kid yourself. If you fuck hot women every day and every night will that be making it? Will that be what you do for the rest of your life?

>Waaaahhhh there's nothing!
Spoken like a whiny faggot.

Parents were always too busy to really do anything together
That’s probably at least part of what caused them to divorce
Mom always worked extra to buy expensive stuff
Dad would just not spend money ever
It’s a wonder they were ever together

Don't be retarded, bitches with borderline personality can't love. They have no empathy and are in the same category as psychopaths and sociopaths.
>ME ME ME
>what about me?
>waaaaaaah I'm gonna kill myself!
>it's your fault for being born, user!

On repeat every day, for hours.

This bitch too is obviously BPD. Cut her off and start therapy, your anger is FLEAS.

Mom was stay at home, kind of overbearing sometimes but whatever. Dad makes a lot of money so we were (and still are) extremely comfy.
The one thing they did that I’m convinced fucked me up is moving us around the country several times. Granted, it was always because my dad got a bigger, better job, but I have no childhood/long term friends other than my cousins. I lose contact with people extremely quickly if we don’t see each other regularly. I’m a professional ghoster. It kills me inside but that’s just who I am.

I lift so I can become hot enough to keep a hot woman without much stress. They're just gonna be more submissive and easier to deal with when you have more muscle and are better looking. Besides I just need to keep a marriage going for long enough for 2 kids to turn at least 10 before divorcing and maybe spawning more with another woman if I have time and money leftover.

>massive ego despite having nothing to show for it, secretly considers literally everyone else inferior, less educated, less sophisticated
>manipulative as fuck, literally proud of being a dumb mopey bitch because "2deep2be happy"

Another one with BPD. Cut this bitch off, she deserves to die alone and in pain. And fuck the assholes who put their dick in these crazy cunts, create a kid, and then run off to leave the kid to deal with their crazy. Those guys should be put against the wall and shot.

Mother gave me nutritious home-cooked meals made with the freshet of ingredients, ensured that I had a healthy diet when I was a baby and when she was pregnant so that I grew up tall. Was always there to support me when I got bullied at school, would encourage me to fight back and would reward me if I got punished by the school but only if I was defending myself. Let me roam free to play and get hurt so that I wasn't a coddled child. Always ensured we had wonderful holidays and days out so that I wouldn't be lonely.

Father would tell me stories of the war and growing up, always had a different bed time story to read to me every night. Wasn't always there as he travelled a lot for work but would come back with a different present for me each time. Always had a story to tell me about his life. Found out that he wasn't my biological father when I was 11, apparently my mother was married when they met but he was a terrible husband. My father supported her regardless and they got married after I was born. Remember hugging him and telling him "You're my real daddy" whilst crying.

They both died 3 years ago when some drunk cunt rammed into their car, still cry about it; fucking starting up now.

Been lifting since I was a 16, play rugby non-stop as my father got me into it even though he was terrible at it. Cook for myself and watch my health, still got the recipes my mother wrote for me when I moved out. Pictures of them all over the house to remind me to stay true. Biological father got in contact with me shortly after they died, apparently my mother gave him my contact details (had the same phone number for 12 years) and he always had hers, blocked his number. My real father died.

Honestly there are times when I'm lifting heavy and I'll just break down in tears in the middle of the gym. I remember I hit a PR once for DL and sent the video to my mother, she said well done but kept berating me for hurting my body and giving me advice on how to stay healthy

>parents told me to kill myself when I was 16 years old
>father dead, step-dad is a distant asshole, mother is a fullblown retarded roastie
>step-dad was always angry when I showered or ate something, called me crazy when I ate two sausages instead of one
>parents hated sports and music, but expected me to excel in them
>I discovered my own talent (philosophy, I could argue extremely well), but my fatass step-dad called me a faggot and told his friends that I am a lazy cunt for not working my ass off in some poo factory

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lol you sociopath

Wise

Parents constantly gaslighted me, beat me, threw me out multiple times (once by my Mom into the snow when I was 13, thanks Mom), sent me to mental hospitals based on lies, never cooked, and ignored me when they werent abusing me.

I'd say I've forgiven them, but there are days where I'm reminded of what they did. I try to turn it into a blessing, but it's really not. People say it makes you stronger, but it also makes you colder. Less vulnerable, they say, but it makes you distant and detached.

Nonetheless, it has helped me in my career of standup comedy, because it makes others feel better about themselves, which is part of the purpose of comedy.

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I did tae kwon do, and it definitely attracts the weebs and autists, but you ultimately get out of it what you put in.

Sounds extremely bad tbqh

My favorite is that after this shit you are expected to magically figure it all out at 18.
>user why don't you go outside a little
>user why don't you have friends
>user why don't you have a good

My favorite is when they were constantly looking over my shoulder, trying to find something to ridicule me on.

They're both bipolar, and meant for each other. At one moment they'll ignore my very existence, at the next they'll acknowledge it, but only just to put my down or beat me when I "talk back".

To this day my Dad claims he never laid a finger on me, now that I'm famous. He'll never get a dime from me, and he'll never get a visit either, not until he truly is sincerely sorry.

Successes aren't any different. It's incredible how much your life is affected by your childhood experience.
>Inb4 clean your room lol

Parents split up when I was 7 which meant I could no longer play baseball. Then by highschool I just didn't think to even try out for it. But with my mom being pretty much single (stepdad never around working and no way ever considered dad material) I don't know how I'd pay the fees or have a ride to and from practice/games.

>t. bad father who feels guilty he fucked up his son's development

Don't call him actually. Treat him like he deserves. He is just a pretentious faggot.

Damn, bro..

He's a massive alcoholic and I want to help him in whatever way I can. I know he doesn't deserve it, but he's my Dad, and I love him whether he deserves it or not.

>but you ultimately get out of it what you put in.
Yup, I didn't mind some of the awkward kids or """special""" group. Their parents were doing what they could to keep them engaged in things. However it almost seemed like a good way to drop your kid and not have to deal with the autismo for an hour or two. Also my masters were awesome they knew how to be fun and strict to the little shits of the group.

People shit talk the popular shit like TKD but I learned a lot of good shit going there.

>Bruise my arm during the first week of 5th grade football
>Cry when I get home for an hour
>Ask my parents to turn in my gear and quit
>Tell me I can quit if I want but I have to man up and tell the coach myself
>Cry in the car the whole way to the next practice
>End up putting on my pads and practicing
They also made me do wrestling because every man in my family wrestles. I would have turned out an autistic numale if it weren't for them. Now I'm just autistic.

My dad would wake me up at 4am every morning from when I was 13 all the way through highschool to take me to the gym. A year ago he finally lost his battle with leukemia. I was an alcoholic due to my life on the road but I've essentially quit because I don't want to die of self inflicted harm now that I have 2 kids.

Tae kwon do was a good fit for me. I'm 6'4" and disproportionately long legs. I went to a decent gym as well. One of the guys got his blackbelt when I was a red belt, opened his own dojang and I defected to train with him. We trained every day, started hanging out with the local fighters and eventually they started hosting mma stuff out of his gym. At one point I was training 7-8 hours a day. Best times of my life.

Maybe in 20 years they'll be in this thread :')

>I was born in 97
You're OK. You are young and have plenty of potential left. Get to work.

snopes.com/fact-check/woman-record-14-kids/

>22
>Has a job
>Still feeling the need to listen to batshit crazy mom

Unless you are living at your parents house, block her on socialmedia and get a restraining order. Hiring a private investigator to see what junior is doing is in no way normal behavior. Really, no one does that shit except stalkers and crazy ass people.

The dinner texts makes me think this is b8, and could be some reference to a show, but retarded parents are really a thing so it could be true.

Stop talking to.your parents. There are idiots who will say you have to love family no matter what but that's always comes from well adjusted families, people who had a good one that can't seem to grasp that there are terrible families that should be split and imprisoned, such as dad and uncle raping a daughter, mom and dad that rape their son and sell the videos to pedo sites (yes, that shit happens), families that know a member did something awful and hide it to prevent the family name to.be tainted, leaving the victim traumatized and helpless...

So, if true, and if you have no.monetary dependency over your parents, cut all ties with them.

grew up with just my mother, a bitter, lonely bitch.
now, i hate women and think about bashing their faces in daily.

I have a healthy relationship with my entire immediate family, and if anyone in our distant family is fucking stupid we all collectively tell them off. Both my parents are friendly, motivated people who constantly encourage me to be better physically, mentally, and emotionally. On top of that i have an autistic aspect from growing up on the internet regardless that lets me deal with decent normies and robots easily. 10/10 on the birth lottery.

How is tkd gay?

Your parents sound like narcs. You went through child abuse. Unironically check out reddit /raisedbynarcissists, desu.

I was also born 97 and had a bitch as childhood. Started to improve myself in high school. Have you just done nothing the whole time? It's never too late until you're like 50.

i recently diagnosed my friend with aboulomania and he explained to me that when he was growing up his alcoholic mother would go nuts if he ever asked her permission to go see his dad. the result seems to be a complete lack of authority over one's life decisions, characterised by overwhelming circular logic, most of his existence being devoted to justifying his own lack of initiative to himself and others.

maybe i should have been a therapist

Your narc parents turned you into a people pleaser, of course you'd gravitate towards a career in comedy if that was your motivation. I almost went into nursing for the very same reason, until I came to had the epiphany that my people pleasing tendencies came from a lack of self esteem that was generated by over two decades worth of narcissistic parenting eroding my self-image.

Bro, there really isn't a way to spin it positively, you went through child abuse (like probably 99% of the posters on this website, desu, that's why we're all fucked up).

This. You have the power to cutoff contact, just make sure all your finances and things like your personal belongings are completely within your control before you do.

Restraining orders vary state-by-state, but in mine, you need to prove a history or threat of recent violence to legally get an order.

>Blame yourself for your shit dad walking out on you
You made any 15 year trips to the store for cigarettes lately, faggot?
This is the actual right answer

All of you people are faggots and should be ashamed of yourselves.

Studies consistently show that childhood trauma, unless it's particularly severe (molestation, kidnapping, horrific physical abuse, drugs, etc.), has almost no actual affect on a child's future ability to be a productive member of society. If you want friends, you can still go make friends, nothing's stopping you. If you want to be tough, you can still go toughen up. It's harder than if your parents encouraged such behaviours, sure, but it's also tougher for you to be an olympic athlete if your parents encouraged school more. That doesn't mean you can't still be in great shape or even compete internationally.

Give your parents a break, half of this "abuse" is "gave me too much time playing video games" or "fed me regularly" or "didn't give me enough one-on-one time".

t. latchkey kid whose dad was never around and whose mom was around for maybe three hours a day total. All of my siblings hate my mother and aren't huge fans of my dad. I'm only just recently starting to come around to appreciating my parents, even if I severely dislike them on a personal level. It really struck me at Christmas, seeing my siblings act like you're all acting right now, how horrible a person I was. My parents weren't around much, but there was a bunch of really great stuff they did, too. Like all parents, they're not perfect, and as bohemian socialist atheist intellectuals they didn't expect to raise a Christian conservative weightlifting pastor. There's no way they could predict how I would turn out, nor could they encourage too much in that direction. All they could try to do is make sure I got to adulthood okay, and that my values were at least kind of good. They succeeded, and they also managed to give me some good memories along the way.

God bless my parents for their service, and shame on me and all of you for not appreciating it sooner.

do you unironically think that a person's upbringing does NOT affect their success in life?

if so, you are legitimately insane.

>All they could try to do is make sure I got to adulthood okay, and that my values were at least kind of good. They succeeded.

you realize that that isnt the case with all of us right
like, some of us got parents who tried that but failed (for whatever reason), some got parents who didnt even try at all, and others got parents who not only didnt try, but actively sabotaged their kids instead.

telling a person with neglectful or outright maleveolent parents to "cut them a break" and "be thankful" like you just did is really fucking low.

I'd agree with your analysis but the major reason I went into comedy was because I wasn't good at anything else. I was a high school dropout with no other career prospects.

>has almost no actual affect on a child's future ability to be a productive member of society

What a crock of shit. Not even worth arguing with.

Why not just spawn kids and forget about the marriage part?

>Mom had major accident when I was 2 so they let me stay at my grandparents from dad's side while both my siblings were less chill and stayed there
>At 4 my grandmother died, at 5 my grandfather. Lost the two people I had as parenting figures
>Move to parents again, mom was still recovering
>6 months later they send me to my uncle
>He'd often beat me but told me to be silent
>Ffw to 7 the abuse became clear because of scars
>Move to parents again till 8, didn't like it there, my dad would yell at me all the time. Alot more than to my siblings
>Move to grandparents from mom's side at 9 because dad was to busy building his business and forced my mom to help him
>Granny died at 10, stayed with grandfather till 11 but he started to show severe signs of dementia and detoriated after grannies death.
>Went back to parents. Oh god my dad was an elitistic narcisstic cunt. He'd take out all his stress on me and my mom.
>Mom did her very best, began seeibg her as a motherfigure around the age of 14
>Felt as an outsider and didn't feel like home but my mom took good care of me (Dad kept up the mental abuse towards me, but not my siblings. Talking about rants up to 3 hours screamibg at me almost daily.
>Literally did nothing wrong, had good grades in a honors class. But was fat because of emotion eating.
>Ffw to 20 fat as fuck 2nd year of law, dad hit me for failing economy (literally passed the year)
>Get fucking enraged and beat the shit out of him. Stop school, move out, lose the weight, sued dad to get my own money

Well I'm 26 now cut off ties with dad 5 years ago. I never stay at one place for over half a year, can't seem to find a home. I'm Jow Forums well read and have some skills that assure a steady good income. Was a junkie from 21-23 thou (heroin), dont even drink now. I pretty much find qt's move in with them (often they have a personality disorder) and when I get bored or shit gets out of hand I move to the next city or qt. On the off occasion I'm not in a codependant relationship I live in motels or with a few close friends and sleep around more than I can keep track off.

I'm narcistically wounded.

But I'm clean and for the first time in my life I feel like I have a home. Met my gf 9 months ago, her family took me in and now I'm the chef at their restaurant. Business is booming and I dont want to leave anytime soon. If this gets fucked up I'll probably be hurt more than I've ever been.

You didn't join the real and active Official Fitness Server on Discord yet??
Advice on routine and posture advice, motivate each other, awesome stories, feels, food pics recipes and diet checks, fasting, etc. Self improvement, nofap and even relationship advice.
We also have some fun channels like memes or tinder thot patrolling.
For those who want more adventure, we have a contest: post a pic in begin of the month, and one at the end. Then users vote and the winner gets prize money!

We accept people from all fitness levels: fat, average or athletic. As long as you are encouraging and motivating you are most welcome!
discord.gg/WfgghsW

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>your happiness depends on a bitch
i'm sober too and let me tell you know, you just set yourself up for trouble.

now*

discord is for faggots

You gave me a really petty comment. I told you I finally found a home and sense of belonging after 25 years of severe struggle and you tell me that I'm setting myself up for failure.
People change through time and experiences. If I fuck this up, which I wont, I'll be hurt yes. But I'm not the same person I was and actually developped better coping mechanisms. Being sober/not sober isn't even on my mind. I dont drink or do drugs because I like to have a clear mind nit because I'm afraid of relapsing. I still drink a glass of champagne on christmas and very celebratory stuff. If I have issues I use my cooking and art to process them.

Return to whence you came

Your mother fucked you by being ignorant