ITT: retarded sexual fantasies that you have

I want to become a woman, give birth to a son, and immediately get fucked by him as soon as he comes out of my vag

I got a few but this has to be my most complex one.

Me and my partner either go in on a mission, it can just be us or we are working for somebody. The missions mostly consists of an assassination or to steal something but it could also include rescuing said partner or destroy something. We then succeed on our goal but then the alarms go off and we got to shoot and stealth our way through the facility and get out.

We get out and a hit squad is sent after us, if we were hired then its that group who hired us trying to betray us. As we either hang out in an abandoned building figuring out what to do, out in a public walkway or a cafe at night the hitmen start shooting as a shootout happens. After that happens we get enough clues from the phone or notepad the hitmen bodys have and the van they left behind to figure out who the big boss is who tried to kill us and take them out in one final shootout.

After all of that is done we go home to our house on the beach in the middle of nowhere, wind down a little then have sex. This often ranges from vanilla to light bondage.

And for those wondering what the gunplay is like think of Max Payne. Pic related is often my go to partner but I sometimes like to mix it up a bit. And why go through all of that for a sexual fantasy? I honestly don't know, just feels more personal and rewarding.

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>have a gf who loves me to death
>she's vanilla as fuck
>two like 35 year old 7/10 or 6/10 lesbian/bi/whatever women want to peg me/humiliate me etc for a night
>they live far away from her and don't care that im in a relationship

what the fuck do i do guys

The girl bites my dick and eats it.

Dont do it please.
Originaliliy

You're welcome, enjoy your morning/ night.

I want to go on a date with a girl who has a buttplug and vibrator inside her.

Okay, so basically I'm a huge fan of SCP and I often dream about being gang-banged by SCPs

Which SCP's?

>Chubby motherly woman with a kind face
>You could tell she used to be a Stacey, but she has become a pure goddess of a mother

>She sees me and wants me
>She climbs on top of me and holds me down with the weight of he ample bosom and thick thighs
>She makes love to me and kisses me as I fight against her, embarassed
>She kisses me and says it's okay

>She tells me she has taken me as her mate for life

I don't really have any fantasies that are specifically about me, per se

But I'm currently working on a story about a cute teen princess who secretly does scat stuff with one of her maidservants. The maidservant doesn't enjoy it, but she reluctantly agrees to let the princess to smell her farts and watch her use the toilet in order to obtain a more comfortable position in the royal household. Like special food privileges, extended curfew or whatever. If the maidervant tells anyone, it's off with her head. The idea of a high-class young lady imposing such depravity on a servant woman who finds it disgusting and shameful just gets me hella hard t.b.h.

That's a pretty common fantasy.
At least, that's what I can deduce from the amount of porn that has that concept or similar in it. I would naturally have a biased sample, though.

I want to bite woman in the teeth with my own teeth and shake her around like a dog

holding hands in the dark and whispering whatever comes to our mind to each other until 4 am

being a cute boy's first time then tying him to the bed and introducing him to the pleasures of anal
afterwards i'd cage his dick and relieve him every other week depending on his mood

Being a face seat for sweaty women

Fuck out normalswine
This essentially.

A rat in my face-cage.

Please leave and never come back, normalfag. Jow Forums and probably the rest of this site, is not for you

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>intimidating female alien / supernatural creature takes interests in a mortal man
>primally and nonverbally seducess the scared shitless normalfriend
>copluates then incubates a clutch of monster-human hybrid eggs in the dark of her nest
>may or may not eat the guy
Except I want to be the monster

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>fucking a trap
it repulses and arouses me at the same time

Beating up women while they're handcuffed

Making women cry

Having sex with a submissive and physically weak dog

Wanting waiters and cooks to cum on my food in front of everyone

I'm pretty far gone.

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A woman wanting to have sex with me and me actually acting normally enough for it to happen.

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I self-insert myself into situations were I work for a fictional corporation and eventually get noticed by the female in charge. She makes me her personal sextoy bitch and constantly promotes me for it. I've had this fantasy with Nui Harime, Haman Karn, and Lusamine.

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I have a similar fetish without the mi-breaking though.
I just want to be a cult leader

Butch-lesbo ex of mine starts boning my girlfriend without me knowing, then when I find out I remind her that I'm not offended unless it's another guy as long as she tells me. Then I guilt my gf into letting my ex peg me while she takes my dick. Get combined prostate and vaginal orgasms pumping my girlfriend full of cum on a regular basis.

Live as a weird threesome for some time until the two of them show off their crazy sides and I get doublemurdered.

Girlfriend got pregnant before that and now they're raising my kid while still having an active lesbian sex life. Girlfriend gets a stable tech job and my ex kinda tries to be a movie star but just ends up in commercials. Twenty years later the kid finds all this evidence I was murdered by them and goes into therapy, writes books for a little until the engineer genes kick in and they continue the family trade.

Havent thought about it much further than that.

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I want to get high and jack off! I'm out of my God damn MIND ON that weedle-dee-deed right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition! Man you gotta get high and jack off! You are a faggot like Bob Saget!

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But you're a homogay so it doesn't count.

incredibly underrated reply, I laughed audibly

yeah its a no from me dog
im in a similar situation (or have been)
but ive always just felt like having a partner and friend who you can trust and who trusts you is more important in the long run. to be fair ive come pretty close to submitting to the desire but talked myself out of it every time

>fucking a strong, intimidating neoconservative alt right guy and then cuddling while he talks to me about his guns

i'm a leftist vegan

i want to fuck the yandere out of a boy

I got a lez cuck fetish. Ain't enough porn out therr

top quality post, i enjoyed it

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>neoconservative alt right

I'd fuck the stupid out of you.

I want to have an adult nursing relationship with a woman 18-25.

>futa mommy user is back
goddam wheres my big tit big dick futa dommy mommy to train my sissy ass and feed me cummies

i-i don't know much about conservatives... i just want to fuck one of the really bad ones

> i just want to fuck one of the really bad ones
You better be a girl.

what I am is a disgrace

And this is why you desire an authoritarian figure.
Some people are meant to be led.
Just accept it, it's the natural order.

I have a few

a harem of cute asian cosplay girls to beat the fuck out of me everyday ending forceful femdom sex (minus the butt stuff or cock locking, thats gay)

a cute yandere gf who just wants to snuggle with me all day, who can only be calmed down by me singing a certain embarrassing song to her whenever she gets in her moods

a hot, powerful, sadistic female boss who hires me as her personal footstool/butler/sex toy/assistant, and on her particularly bad days the beatings increase until shes so horny she basically trying to break my dick off in her

a creepy nurse gf who lurks around like the girl from the Ring, and always wants to perform surgery on me, nothing too bad, just wants to remove a few organs and put them back "for science"

be arm candy to a top-level Saudi princess, who secretly takes out all of her stress on me for being american, then apologizes and lets me fuck her gorgeous body into oblivion

Going to a tribe/culture thats and getitng to fuck the daughter/wife of the leader as a "gift."

I have a real kink for being part of a pre-civilization tribe and having to mate with someone as part of a "sacred marriage"-type thing.

i want a girl to smear her shit all over my dick and then i fuck her with my shit covered dick and impregnate her

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