/sig/ - self improvement general

please explain how not smiling or initiating conversations will further yourself.

because I am surrounded by profligates that I should ignore.

I like the music one.

I realised wherever I was I'm engaging in some reward seeking action, listening to music everyday like the virgin meme was bad for me.

Instead I ordered some good quality earphones and will try to limit my music listening, such as when I am making dinner, also I got all the /mu recommendation lists and will start listening to 1 full album a week, just as I'm playing a vinyl record, no interruptions, just my full attention to the music.

I'm excited about music again, it's like doing nofap but for music.

I'm happy.

In which case, do not talk to them. But should you not be expanding your social circle to non-degenerates? How can you do this if you don't smile or talk to others? How do you reasonably expect to meet new people or new ideas.

I maybe had one conversation in the last year that I can recall enjoying. I did not start it. I think people will talk to you if they have business with you. Other times when people ask how I am or say hi I just nod my head because I know they are just making small talk and if they knew me for who I am they would just try to change me or challenge me. I had a stoner across the hall from me in my dorm. I tried being nice to him but one night I was trying to fall asleep and he barged into my room and I was pissed and beat him up and ruined my reputation with everyone. I did not get in trouble but I realized I need to stop talking to other people I don't get along with because it will only end up bad.

imagining someone living like this makes me feel sorry for you, 'never smile' are you fucking retarded, if at any stage you're not having a good laugh over the absurdity of life then you are a lost cause.

Maybe consider adding not being a giant autist to your list then

>if they knew me for who i am they would just try to change me or challenge me
>i was pissed and beat him up
>i need to stop talking to other people I don't get along with because it will only end up bad

/SLG/
Stop being
>psychotic
>narcissistic
>vain

Think the issue is you here, not society.

Put me in the screencap when this guy kills somebody.

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>improving yourself
>making a list of things that will turn you into an extremely religious reclusive douchebag

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LOL

what part of >>if they knew me for who i am they would just try to change me or challenge me
did you not get.
be yourself man.
stop being melodramatic.

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Holding disdain for others will only limit your personal growth, you don't need to isolate yourself to have integrity.

We're all gonna make it brah.

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you hold disdain for social justice warriors though, dont you? pot calling the kettle black. There are so many alcoholics around me. Remind me of my father. What's worse? Being a strict, moral person, sometimes a little rude, or being an alcoholic buffoon?

Because there is no middle ground ever. Are you really that stupid?

being autistic is not self improvement

okay this is valuable insight. this is a general self improvement thread so I should ask how do you guys try to embetter yourselves.

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Lose weight (12/25 kg done)
Spend more time with friends
Cut back on the toxic social life on campus
Complete my masters degree
Going to interviews to find a job in my field where I can progress my career
Drink and smoke only once a month

You can disagree with somebody without wasting your time and energy hating them. Smiling is one of the most human things you can do, if you suppress your instinct to smile you aren't making some moral stand on frivolity, you're only suppressing what you innately feel.

I'm sorry about your dad and I understand why you feel the way you do but there is a middle ground between being what you described in your opening post (If you are OP) and an alcoholic buffon (A far extreme).

I hope you can find it or you will destroy yourself with hate.

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> no porn for life
> semen retention for 12 years

>stop smoking since last November
>stop drinking coffee for 3 weeks now
>stop fapping for 4 weeks
>start taking cold shower for 3 days

I am about to start fasting 48h per week

Am I going to make it anons?
What's your suggestion about what I should start or stop doing?

Try nopoop and nobreath

if youve stopped drinking coffee then thats a really good sign youre willing to go the extra mile for your success
you can definitely go no poop on a fast

I'll give you some advice if you tell us where you're at in life, what are you doing at the moment, are you working, how long have you been lifting?, do you have a partner, what's your social circle like etc

>has to tell himself not to post to Facebook
Who the fuck uses Facebook other than boomers and mentally ill people?

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Well, I've been fixing my sleeping schedule for a while and eating properly. I hope that my ashwagandha arrives soon so I can manage my stress properly.

Did anyone ever tried Kraton here? It's legal in my country and I thought about buying.

Also.

Should I drop my long distance relationship with my girl? She's 800km away and it's almost impossible for us to see each other at least for a year or two. With only a few times where we can actually travel and meet.

She's absolutely faithful like she never goes out and stays at home just to talk to me. In the other hand I can't accept to be in a situation where I can't sleep with her by my side.

But I feel too much like a pussy for not having the guts to break up and go meet other women. It's like I don't want to leave the safety of being with her.

“Start cleaning your room” is a metaphor for improving that which is in your immediate vicinity

Facebook is for shitposting and messenger is for talking to friends. Everything else is useless

Holy autism.

2 questions
Do you love her?
Is she worth it?

>I'll give you some advice if you tell us where you're at in life,
I think my lowest point has passed. got my act together and realized I do pretty well at college compared to how I thought I would.
>what are you doing at the moment, are you working,
studying bro
>how long have you been lifting?,
I'm doing cardio like 3x a week, ideally would be everyday but I haven't gotten there yet.
Haven't lifted in almost a year. probably will start again soon. been doing cardio in the place of lifting. running and biking mostly.
>do you have a partner, what's your social circle like etc
my last girlfriend was right before my life went to shit 2 years ago. It wasnt because of the break up because there was none. It was total apathy on my part. I kind of regret it but its the past, what am I gonna do. Literally no social circle and haven't spoken to my best friend in over a year because I used to be an amateur photographer and he became pretty pretentious (but I dont resent him) and doesn't think I'm cool enough to hang out with anymore. Had some great friendly buddies online when I was in my low point but online buddies only stay in touch for so long. They were really supportive actually and I would thank them if I still had their contact info.
I only have a facebook so I have contact with the outside world if I have the chance to.

You should smile m8, people like it when you smile. Just don't have a grin plastered on your face at all times because then you'll look like a retartd, like me.
Also, def do initiate conversation social skills are important. If you don't like the conversation then leave it. It's not that hard

You idiot this type of behavior bullet list is exactly the same as the clean your room bullshit.
Swallow the Freud pill to finally see some light

I'd recommend smiling only when you mean it. Some people are just happier than the others, no reason faking it.

its like when somebody asks "How are you?" after saying "good how are you?" as the response for so many years, what is the point - you are only fooling yourself if you tell that white lie all the time. I want to start saying "Not that great, how are you?" instead if I feel like it. Because I've just been fooling myself. And then I wouldnt be lying to the other person either and maybe they would be more open to you as well. Ya? It's not like I want to be moody or pessimist but just honest.

I'm all for self improvement, but it seems to attract a lot of pretentious folks who think they're transcending the human condition by growing beards and not touching themselves.

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I'm afraid most people won't care you're not doing so well.

I don't know about love anymore or even about her being worth it. I'm having confidence troubles since my last gf.
I committed hard for my ex and in the end I got dumped like trash. I seriously did things that I wouldn't do for other people but the best of my friends.
So I don't know, it's hard to not be afraid of it happening again. But I do like her a lot and she's committing much more than I imagined she would.

Just keep on rucking bro, sounds like you need some mates, I'd recommend joining a local rugby club great sport and nothing like the after match beers with the lads. Set your aim and work towards it each day but don't forget to have fun in your life, learn a new skill, make new friends, don't judge yourself or others too harshly.

they certainly dont care if im doing well then. easy way of sorting out fake friends.
I have a reasonable expectation to masturbate sometimes. I'm growing my beard to remind myself to stop acting like a teenager.
yeah I was gonna join an intrumural sport league next semester. was too self conscious recently but I've made progress. thanks.

>lying
You're looking at that the wrong way user. It's a courtesy to say that. Everyone's good, all the time. Telling them you don't feel that great will just make them feel like you're being a Debbie downer, and that's not the image you want to give off. What are you gonna do, push your shitty feelings onto someone you've only had a two sentence conversation with?
You're being autistic, user. Thing is, most of the people you say that too are just passers by. Like that lady who signs you into your apt building, or the clerk at a store. Or coworkers or something. Only real friends will actually give two shits if you tell them you're not doing so hot.

May I ask, what is your overall goal with these objectives? I know 'self improvement' but what does that mean in your case, like where do you see yourself being in a year's time if you follow all of these rules? In what way will these things improve your life?

Genuinely asking - how will growing a beard, not smiling, not talking to people, not wearing contacts improve your life? The rest of it I can understand in a way, but the only really big thing in your list is following the sermons, and I guess the fasting might be important depending on the context. The rest seems pretty trivial.

About the sermons, do you actually attend Anderson's church or do you just get the sermons online? If it's just online, do you actually attend a local church? If not, that should be #1 on your list. I'm assuming you don't because of your previous posts where you've indicated that you don't like interacting with people. If you start going to church then you're eliminating several of your problems at once - you will be required to interact with people, initiate conversations and smile, but the people you interact with will not be 'profligates', pagans, atheists, or alcoholics. They will be the type of people that you should enjoy spending time with as a Christian. If you're afraid that people at church will try to 'change' you, then maybe that's an indication that you know there's something about your life or attitude that actually does need to change and you are just afraid to do it.

You will not advance or improve your life by being a hermit, and eventually you *will* need to interact with other people in a meaningful way, and that includes even profligates and pagans as you say - you seem very prideful, you should think about that and humble yourself

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>not happy
>pretending to be happy
lad
If you can trick yourself into being happy, wouldn't that make your life 10x better? Now why wouldn't you want to do that

How many people that are genuinely happy do you think follow some sort of hyper strict rules? Why do you think imposing some arbitrary restrictions like some sort of autistic monk is necessarily the path to happiness?

This is literally the dumbest list I've ever seen. Are you like 15? If not youre actually retarded.

if only u had a rule to not be retarded

A beard won't make a man out of you.

He added it

how do I metaphorically slap myself in the fucking face and climb up from the depression pit I've been dwelling in for the past two months? I've head problems with depression for 4 years now, each year it would start around winter, then it would climax during spring, but it sort of fades away during the summer and autumn. There's always something that triggers them, and each year they're harder to endure. Do I just start sticking to the routine? Do I need to occupy my brain from all the self-conscious shit, minimize the time spent in toxic environments, and just keeping the struggle going for the 5 and a half months I have until college starts?

Get a therapist
Work out
Spend time with people
Get a hobby
Kys

Im new to christianity. we have catholic mass here pretty often but I just dont agree with it. I can listen to anderson's speeches from his website where he posts them in mp3 form.
Yeah I should probably attend church. I'll have to work on that.
> like where do you see yourself being in a year's time if you follow all of these rules? In what way will these things improve your life?
It's not like I'm some tense person in real life. But I just (want to) keep my head in the game all the time.
>If you can trick yourself into being happy,
thats escapism. I need to work on the root cause. Like, I'm not depressed ,I realize that I'm just not where I want to be. I can't be happy until I have a long term gf. And I think I will get there soon enough. But that's still a few months away from now.
>hyper strict rules
Look I don't want to LARP because I still have progress to make until I can be as strict as I want to be but yes, I believe being strict will make my life better and make me a better person.
Yes thats true but to be a man you need a beard. God gave men beards. Why shave it.

10/10 bait list

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Fag OP appears to be serious

> and just keeping the struggle going for the 5 and a half months I have until college starts?
I was in the same boat as you and remember that a lot of people are depressed because they have no routine, they overeat, they oversleep, and don't even pursue their goals. Find a hobby and make a goal to improve in your hobby. And college will give you a great routine. I feel so much better at college just from the routine. Stick in there.
haha I trol u

>I can't be happy until I have a long term gf.
Bad luck for you. As being happy with yourself is one of the keys to getting a gf and making it in general.

You can work on the root cause AND be happy, which will make woring on that cause even easier.

the pyramid of psychological needs bro. first is basic bodily functions and health. sex is a basic function and desire. you're not achieving SHIT for personal progress until you can stop worrying about pussy. castrating yourself with nofap or whatever or meditation is not the solution there.

There's a girl I'm inlove with, and she's currently overseas in LA, coming back home at the start of next month. In the span of about 4 days, I've made the most progress ever in my life to improve myself PURELY for the fact that I want this girl, and I'll do everything and anything to get her, no - it's not oneitice, we've been on a date once and she said she can't have anything right now due to how busy life is, but so far she seems really into me. I should keep trying right Jow Forums? Shes made me push myself harder than I could ever imagine.

Do you have autism? This is a serious question. It seems like youre trying to punish yourself. What happend user? Talk to us.

Will do, thanks and have a nice day.

>she said she can't have anything right now due to how busy life is
Yeah, not gonna happen

haha wtf

yes shes definitely not into you. yes, you could somehow drastically change this by some sort of rare miracle, but the chances of that happening are low. find more girls. why chase somebody that doesnt value you. I had oneitis for like 3 years bro. I grew out of it when the girl stopped playing for me. I would text her and she would text back weeks later. She was clearly not interested but playing with me. She said she was trying to let me down nice but in reality she was playing with my emotions and women do not fucking care. The nicest thing you can do for yourself is to find a girl who gives you no doubt that she DOES like you. find another girl.

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>self improvement
>no smiling
>no talking to people
this looks like autism

>no associating with atheists or pagans
>follow the sermons of pastor anderson
do you think you're some kind of monk or some shit?

some people just need lots of frame work in their life.
radicalcentrist.jpg

She's constantly travelling, and god I mean it when I say she's the most genuine person I've met. I just want her, and I want to push myself to my absolute limit even if that means I get just one more date with her, I feel so motivated when I think of what we could be, is all hope seriously lost?

>She's constantly travelling,
shes a rich girl looking for adventure and not a long term relationship with an average joe.
Find. a. girl. that. values. you.
not the other way around.

Probably. If she would really want it, she would make time for you. You should never change yourself for anybody except yourself

>pyramid of psychological
Scanned over a ((((Wikipedia)))) article.
Nowhere does it say you have to do the parts in consequtive order.

>until you can stop worrying about pussy.
The kicker to stop worrying, is to have abundance of pussy.

The reason why I care so much, is because the way she acts is because I feel like she values me, if she didn't, she wouldn't have interacted with me the way she did. Her job is pretty big so I can see why she put me on the back-burner, we met right before she went on this huge trip, so I don't see it as her not valuing me anymore.

I'm very aware of this stuff, and I'd never change myself or a girl, period. However I am changing what I've always wanted to change about myself, for the better - in hopes she see's that and maybe also see's what I see, potential.

why dont you tell her how you feel and ask her if she has time for you.
oh wait.
she did.

Fair play to you friend, I recommend finding a church ASAP, whatever one is closest to what you believe, most will have a statement of faith on their website or available somewhere, or you can even just ask the pastor. Lots of people on here will tell you that you MUST be Catholic or Orthodox or whatever flavour of Protestant otherwise you're a heretic, don't listen to those divisive people and go with what seems right to you as long as it lines up with the Bible. Obviously avoid Mormonism and Jehovah's Witnesses etc. Don't be *too* picky when selecting a church otherwise you'll end up not attending - you'll probably never find a church that teaches 100% the way you think, but as long as it's Bible believing, triune God, saved by faith then it's probably fine.

Seriously that is the most important thing for you. If you go to church you can surround yourself with good people, you may well meet a girl who shares your values, and you'll be encouraged to live the correct kind of 'strict' lifestyle that will make you a better person.

Re: the beard thing, you need balls to be a man, not a beard. Not all males can grow beards, and some women unfortunately have facial hair too. Grow it if you want, I'm sure it'll look good but please don't be fooled into thinking it's important

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I know what you're saying, but I can't describe it. I've fallen for girls before, sure. But not like this, with every doubt, and with every thought that I should just move on, or talk to other girls - it just fuels me. I've never wanted to chase someone with such fervour and passion. She's so innocent, truly - and I see so much potential between us, and the spark in my eyes. The 6th sense and gut feelings are all leading me, the dreams I have, it just feels right to try for her. When she comes back I want to see her and her face when she realises how much I have changed, and we can try another date and hopefully move forward from that. God I hope it works out.

>implying church is important and not a brainwashing 2000 year old cult
Brainlet

just copy paste this post and send it to her.

tfw only the last one makes any sense, those people are literally lifegoblins.

Are you sure? I'm literally just stuck with her, I felt so confidently that she was into me, then she pulled the "I just want to be friends right now, there's alot going on my life right now" I honestly don't blame her, and it's not like we've been talking for so long. But I'm still so eager and hopeful.

>Listen to pastor Anderson
>Don't talk to pagans and athiests
>Not following the great commission
Any reason for this? Unless you want to refrain until you learn the rhetoric for apologetics and witnessing tracts.

>No clean your room bullshit though.
MOTHERFUCKER I've been cleaning my room and getting ready to paint the bitch gosh darnit!

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come onto her hard and tell her how you feel. that way neither you or her will have any doubt about how you feel for each other because it will be resolved totally and instantly for the best or worst. think about this. if a girl shows only slight interest in you how likely are you to care compared to a girl who admits she adores you. its like that for women. I had a girl that was apparently in love with me for years. but I had fallen for her best friend. well, none of us got what we wanted there. maybe if the girl who liked me had been open with me from the start I could have learned to like her. but she never even talked to me until I was into somebody else.

theres so many relationships going on in the world in every moment and so many love triangles. damn... we've all been there.

>I just want to be friends right now, there's alot going on my life right now
That's a 100% not gonna happen. Don't even bother telling her your feelings, it won't matter and you will just look weaker. Don't talk to her, distance yourself and look for somebody who is worth your time

I feel you man, I agree. I'm just so lost right now. I think I might try that

I want to believe you that it'll never happen, but I want it to happen, badly. Badly enough that I'll put everything at stake. She seriously has a look in her eyes that encapsulates me. I want to try for her until I know for certain, it's not over until it's over.

okay. Ill attend catholic mass for the sake of faith and worry about specifics later.

I became Christian 8 months ago; watched pastor Anderson semors desu; joined a reformed Baptist Church 5 months ago.
Pretty good, even if they use the ESV.
Don't be super autistic about doctorine that isn't core gospel; many denoms say the same thing but word it differently and end up with same conclusion.
Read the Bible first before you attend a church, that's what I did. Make sure it lines up biblically. Calvinism isn't necessarily wrong, just people are super autistic when it comes to the wording.
Also; you can be saved and have heretical beliefs.

It's your funeral. You have been warned.

Churchlets (and also religionlets) are the biggest autists on the planet

I said it once, but I'll say it again, as much as I appreciate the warning - I'll put everything at stake, if that means having my heart torn out of my chest for the 1000th time, then bring it on. I love the chase, I hate the comedown. But without one I can't have the other, fml.

autism is a symptom of hypermasculinity

No, it isn't

digest.bps.org.uk/2017/09/14/autistic-boys-and-girls-found-to-have-hypermasculinised-faces-supporting-the-extreme-male-brain-theory/
According to the Extreme Male Brain theory of autism, there are certain cognitive and behavioural characteristics that manifest more often in men than women, on average, such as a bias for systematic rather than empathic thinking. Autism can be seen as as extreme version of that typical male profile, the theory proposes, possibly caused by prenatal exposure to higher than usual amounts of testosterone in the womb.

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Seriously, this anime hero tier tard needs to get a grip.