Um, no, sweetie. Not until I've had my cuppa

Neck yourself, nigger-jew.

>childish
oh user
be glad you haven't had to deal with this irl

Office talk is some of the most soul degrading shit that you can ever experience. Sitcom humor robots

Look at a bright side - at least you are not talking with niggers.

I fucking hate coffee but I drink it black anyway, is there a way to make it taste better without drowning it in sugar.

Shhh, shh shh shh.

Shhhhhhhhh.

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Unirnoically: bulletproof coffee.

>I drink it black

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This is the best thread on this site

One of my friends is actually like this in real life. I fucking hate him.

>early morning at work
>no one is saying a word just slurping coffee

shh now sweetie, it's too early

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Every fucking day some woman in the office refuses to do any work until he's had her coffee, actually telling people "oh honey not till I've had my coffee, you know the rules"

I'm going to throw her coffee in the bin if she does that in the staff meeting today i'm so fucking sick of her bullshit

>coffeelet
Maybe buy good coffee and make it properly with a pour over or French press.

>coffeechad comes in and fucking downs his coffee in one go
later nerds, i've got deadlines and productivity levels to meet.

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>sitting in the managers office explaining that creatine, caffine pills and whey are appropriate workplace food items and not illicit substances or drugs as three middle managers drink coffee

Shhh it's her only joke, go easy on her

Also shhhhhh

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Imagine needing a fucking drug to function everyday.

>b-but the caffeine is good for your brain! it can p-prevent alzheimer's!
if that's the only reason then just eat dark chocolate idiot, which has the caffeine many more health benefits

>cuppa

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Shhhh

Got to have my nice cuppa of coffee user

not now dear *taps mug*

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You know i love my coffee in the mornings, but i realize when i start NEEDING it too much and cut it for a few weeks. I get up ez pz now, exercise and lifting gets me more energized than coffee. That being said the shit tastes amazing especially in the dead of winter.

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Coldbrew?

I was on the fence till I read your post. I'll never go. Fuck that. I don't need the money that bad and I've had an awesome life avoiding all that shit. They'll never take me

*taps cuppy*

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Caffeine isn't addictive people are just lazy

based

Nigga, for all the Jow Forums memery aside, you're going to tell me it's acceptable to pour liquid sugar into the very drink I'm substituting for soda.

What'll it be user? An iced fruity onions latte or a cup of TEA

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Don't apples also have caffeine in theme?

in offices people either love my humour or absolutely fucking hate me with a passion.

becasue let's be clear, we are some edgy mother fuckers compared to the average person. like these people actually think the world works like a sitcom and when somebody who doesn't act like a sitcom character comes into their space it's either hilarious or irritating to them

WHAT

Try a blonde roast

One up, one down

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Quality thread

>I'm part of le secret Jow Forums club

Don't compare yourself to me you insufferable weeb

>wake up at 5AM and watch the sun come up
>now browsing Jow Forums, listening to my favorite jazz radio station
>petting my cat as we both sit up in the window, which is slightly cracked to let in the sound of the rain
>drinking my morning coffee without a care in the world
>about to stretch and go for a jog

I would kill myself if I was a wagie.

You're probably an insufferable autist and if you saw yourself through someone else's eyes you would kill yourself

what do you do for a living?

>we
>us
Fuck off

Get a load of this guy

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ahhh just settling in to that second cup

>this fucking feel
Already down to part time work. Wageslaving just seems stupid. Not smart enough to avoid it entirely yet, but man...NEETdom rules

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I know this meme is ironic but even just thinking of the people in real life who say shit like this makes me cringe

*gulps loudly*
Not yeeEEeet

That's a meme

Eastern Europe user here

what's the deal with Americans and your fucking coffee? Why do you people have a fucking starbucks at every damn corner?

thanks for reminding me it's almost time for my afternoon sip

add milk and stevia

>Starbucks in the Mall
>and the parking lot
>in the grocery store
>in a kiosk at work

why is this shit so funny? I don't even know but it cracks me up

how is that any different from mandatory tea breaks? people drink tea (which has caffeine and l-theanine) for the exact same reasons as coffee.

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man this shit is why i went neet, it's like these niggers think they're the star of their own sitcom.

I hate coffee drinkers. Right there next to alcohol drinkers that judge you if you dont have any. Fuck off

Um, sorry sweaty. No shooting until I've had my cuppa.

>that dead eyed stare people give you when you say that you don't drink coffee
I don't care if it's fucking heaven, I don't want to know what it's like to be on the other side of those eyeballs.

I mean, people are telling you to fuck off, but you're not really wrong. The average channer's sense of humor tends to be a bit more dark horse than the average person's.

Not sure if the average person here is any more self aware though. I mean I want to say that it's pretty much impossible for someone to willingly browse here without a healthy sense of self salience, but then I remember that boards like Jow Forums and /soc/ exist and I can't really convince myself that's true anymore.

I'll gladly be considered a flaming homo for adding cream since even the fancy french press artisinal anally processed bean stuff tastes like garbage to me without it.

Coffee is also an anti-oxidant, shit actually ain't that bad for you and you can lower your tolerance in like a month if you're at the point where you need it to feel normal. I've never really had more than 2 cups in a day though.

Fuck your cup

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ummm darling...did you uh...WASH...my mug?

Drink better beans. Cold brews, espresso or long blacks will taste significantly different depending where you get it from.

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based

How are you brewing it? What are you brewing? If you've got a pourover or aeropress or maybe a chemex, try Japanese iced coffee. You just brew it hot but over ice. I mainly use an aeropress, so I'd brew coffee like normal but then press it into a larger mug that is filled with ice. You'd have to adjust how much water you use, but it's great shit. Doesn't take as long to make as normal cold brew and tastes better imo

OC

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t. american

what is the origin of this meme?
i love it.

Fukken saved/10

Does this happen irl? I don't know why but this meme fills me with fucking rage even though I have never met someone like this.

fuck off faggot

Did you actually produce the design or just snap a pic of your t shirt?

Coffee dependent here but IME you can go from bingeing to 2 cups/day easily and then from 2 to 1 easily.

Zero cups/day is something else though. Oh buddy is it.

youtube.com/watch?v=FRz3vfRFfs4