I'm a 24 year old male who's too much of a coward to talk to people honestly. I never left my awkward 13 year old stage...

I'm a 24 year old male who's too much of a coward to talk to people honestly. I never left my awkward 13 year old stage. I'm taking LSD right now to avoid my problems. I don't want to kill myself because I know how much it will make other people suffer, but I can't live my life knowing that I will never experience love and intimacy and affection. It's nobody's fault except my own and yet I can't figure out how to fix it. I went to therapy for years and it did nothing, even my therapist said there was nothing she could do for me except prescribe me drugs. Working out and eating healthy all year has had no effect on my ability to start conversations and be a fun person to be around. What do I do in order to not want to die all the time?

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>stage
>he doesn't realize that there are thirteen year olds all over that talk to people

there really isnt anything anyone can do for you. youll probably especially realize this on acid so that leaves you with one option: get good or fuck off

>permanent awkward personality

My denial was kicking in

I hate how people care about me. My older sister thinks I'm doing heroin. I wish I could just fuck off and not have it hurt the people I love when they see me not living to the potential they set on me. I was supposed to be the "smart one", I had a "gifted" IQ and topped all the test scores. I turned out to be this total degenerate loser. I'm sad how my failures hurt the people I love.

if you hate that people care about things then start with yourself for caring about them caring about you. buck up

Buck up for what? I was on my shit for so long. I was working out, eating protein and trying to gain weight, get nice clothes, talk to girls, and I wound up being one of a billion fucking creeps out there with nothing to show for it. There's plenty of people who don't do any of that shit and either get tons of pussy or fall in love with someone who loves them back in a happy, genuine relationship. I try for nothing. I'm obviously not trying at the right things but I don't know what I should try at.

>I was working out, eating protein and trying to gain weight, get nice clothes, talk to girls
who gave you this advice? only a fucking retard would recommend doing this

Catholicism worked for me.

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My own ass, along with every normie on here. At least the acid's kicking in now so I can have some entertainment. But that's all my life is, seeking temporary pleasure through chemical and virtual escapes with no fulfillment or true connection. It's all so shallow, and the deeper part of me is just left to wallow in suffering.

How did you convince yourself that God exists? How do you draw truth from the obvious lies and warlike, genocidal ideology of the Old Testament, followed by the massive guilt trip of the New Testament? The biblical god is the quintessential egotistical maniac who will seek any means to control his subjects, himself being a representation of political factions using his character to control others.

Why not submit yourself and be controlled by God? He is better than you in every way. He is smarter, wiser, stronger, etc. You can choose to submit yourself to your own will. Your own flawed and imperfect will that has brought you to this awful place full of broken people. Or you can rely on somebody better than yourself. You do the same thing when you go to a doctor, because your doctor is better than you. The same is true for the path of your life.

Btw Catholicism is cancer, as are protestants.

we should be friends and tell me how your acid trip is going

Eastern Orthodox?

If you actually read the Bible, you'll see that God is just as much victim to human faults and desires, and seeks to compensate for them through displays of violent, magnificent power in the Old Testament, and then through convincing people to hate themselves for simply being alive through the New Testament. One draws on fear, the next draws on guilt. Both were used as political tools for social control by the groups that codified and distributed the texts. God is justification for man's own abuse of power, by placing the authority and responsibility of that power higher than man himself.

It was only half a tab, so more of a high than a trip. The shit I got is really good though and I got the walls are curving in and everything for even this little bit. Last one I did a full tab and I was so upbeat and happy, this time I'm all on dark and evil shit. Somehow it's still awesome and feels like it's necessary.

Sweet, I had a tab of 400ug not so long ago, I was dying, honestly. My paranoia got kind of bad. Whats the dosage? How often do you do acid?

I barely ever trip now. I got big into it with my friends when we were like 18- 20 years old, shrooms, acid, DMT, 2cbi or whatever, all that shit. This weekend is the first time I did a hallucinogen in well over a year. I was honestly just trying to test out this stuff my cousin wanted me to get for him, and I ended up having a hell of a time. Now that I know I can get this stuff whenever I might start doing more, but I don't want to go overboard.

I'm not sure what your problem is other than your drug coping muddling up your brain. You're 24, you still are low level on life experience, so try to get some lige experiences other than sitting in your room all day watching the walls bend inward. No shit you feel unfulfilled.

Close but no. God is the manifestation of pure reality without any human perception, as best as flawed humans can tell it. From the texts of the bible alone, not through churches or popes. Your post screams Jow Forumsatheism. Where did you get that pasta?

From reading the text themselves and actually thinking about what it's implying. God is evil, it's blatantly obvious once you separate yourself from the idea that God is good because he says he's good.

>Reality is evil
Yeah that's great and all but how does that help you in any way?
Keep denying reality and see where that gets you, neckbeard fedora autist.

God is free to be interpreted by the reader as he pleases, if he so chooses to view him in such a way that conflicts with your own, leave it be. It is not necessary to try and persuade someone to have the same beliefs as your own.
Does your body not ever ache? I find myself consistently feeling very exhausted after a trip of any sort.

What does God have to do with reality? God is made up by humans. The eternal reality that all spiritual beliefs point toward was lost as soon as ruling classes took a hold of it and personified it as gods in order to entrench their power. The Abrahamic God is another further corruption of reality. Religion is a distraction from the reality.

I work 10 hours a day at a warehouse so my body always aches. Acid feels refreshing.

Perhaps I am just weak, my body is small and frail, so I suppose thats why it has its toll on me. Mentally, im fucked, so I never feel it there. Do you feel mentally drained?

That's fine as long as they believe in God. As long as people follow the bible their beliefs would be aligned with my own more or less. You seem to think this neckbeard actually believes in a god.
>What does God have to do with reality?
Really kid? You read the bible? You're a fucking liar. Just like all those Jow Forumstards who said they read the quran.

Of course. I go through all those self-destructive depressive thoughts through most of the week and by the end of it I can barely function. I usually just consolidate all the bad shit to the weekly grind, distract myself with weed and vidya when I can, and then get drunk and be happy on weekends and start over again. It's a shallow an pointless existence.

>An eternal, powerful being that exists in the fiction of certain cultures defines reality

God is obviously a manifestation of human belief and desire. The true reality doesn't firebomb cities for being gay. Religion is the opposite of reality.

Thats why he used the word "my" before refering to the stages of 13 year olds

>taking acid while depressed and browsing Jow Forums
Enjoy your shitty trip

I'm having a great time desu

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