Why don't you have the guts to end it all?

This little bitch just wanted attention is all. That boy is going MGTOW early.

I get this. I've tried three times, already, but each time I got something better out of it, and I have to go along living this pained existence because I got short term pleasure from something. I honestly wish that this doesn't happen. If I can't find anything to live for in the next two years, I think I'll jump off a building.

How to get guts?
Obviously asking because if I had some, I would be a goner long time ago.

Then again I think about enduring it until my sister graduates.
She is soon working on her thesis, has a really decent CV with many internships.
Still it is hard for her and I help her out if she asks for some certain tasks.

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Why don't you want to get the guts to do what you really want to do in life instead of getting the guts to eat lead or go rope swinging with your jugular?

because of my mom
when she goes, i go

Death is more promising after all. There is nothing I want to do.
I feel too tired to type a wall of text somehow seemingly trying to justify it.

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I'm scared of the brief moment of suffering before dying.

My parents/sister are too fucking nice.
Literally the nicest people ever.
I can't do that to them... it fucking hurts to live but knowing what my suicide would do to my family hurts just as much.

I have always been too much of a pussy to do so because I fear when I do the only time someone will care will come, find me, take me to a hospital and be left retarded from my failed suicide attempt

Don't you want to have something you'd want to do?

>Why don't you have the guts to end it all?
Instinct I think. Life is all I know and idk what happens when you die. Death doesn't really scare me though the idea of it seems comforting. Also I have some nagging hope that my life will be enjoyable even though I dont and won't put in the effort to make it enjoyable. As far as family and friends I have good relationships but I feel disconnected from them. I almost shot myself once and none of the people I know were on my mind at the time. I was mainly wresting with the "what if" like if something good happened the nexy day. In the end I pussied out. Haven't got that depressed since.

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Your suvival instinct will kick in on the way down.
Trying to manage fucked up deluded thinking is difficult. I've been fantasizing about getting on Chantix just to have something to blame it on

In hindsight to posting, I'd say I have a short term goal.
Just gonna get a bit fit, so I can go mountain hiking.
I'd want to do that first.

And with my chosen method of suicide it doesn't harm to be a bit fit. I need to carry some luggage around.

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Some people want to but can't others can but don't there are very few that can and do. you will never know all the pain and desperation you could of enjoyed if you do.

I don't want abandon my cat. I saved her and she saved me.

who will take care of the tarantulas, moths, and cockroaches? i love my bugs

I'm getting there, I have at least two years neet left, but am starting to hate pretty much everything non fictional. I guess I really wanna make some progress on my list of anime and movies before I perform fellatio on my .45

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my parents would have to live with it and while they weren't the best they weren't bad either and don't deserve that.

Why should i kill myself if everyone else is broken?

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Hookers and drugs are the only things keeping me alive.

Maybe when I get kicked out of my house.
I guess the only thing I'm afraid of is having to function on my own.

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based bug boaster