Get me a tinder Date Jow Forums

I do it on the first message

Almost immediately

>yfw face is too ugly to get Tinder dates
Fuck this shit bruhhhhhhhh.

here you go op

Okay Jow Forums
Help me come up with a shitty witty bio, please

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I watch Chinese cartoons and pick up metal to try and make my body look presentable even though I realize it will never make up for my lack of personality that I never developed because I never took socializing seriously in my developmental years

my friend was just over and this is what I put as his

Oh woe is me
I live to savor sweet death
Every time I meet a girl she wants to be my friend

Optional Complimentary Tinder Anthem: youtube.com/watch?v=e2ZaFg40vqY

I nut GOODNHARD BABY yeeeeeAAAAAA

You matched with a gdp slut?

what do I say now

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Lemme milk your mooHOLES dry sexi woman

Show your profile man

222

"what's goin on cutie with a bootie"

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>what gdp episode were you in

holy shit

Pretty much right away.

Anything over two days and you've breached the event horizon and are too far gone.

Where's the beef?!

250 can you fuck my wife?

Fuck me change the number to 8

you want to lube her up enough to stand out of the crowd and then go for it.

no

It means you have big tits and I like them

now we wait

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does she even have milkers?

her milkers are good for a 16 yo

post pics fagit

not gonna post pics of an underage milker

obviously tinder pics are blue board safe tho

You boutta get some healthy bones inside of you

post your profile

Mein neger

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post giphy of funny cow

If any of you need actual advice, the best line I've used that gets me dates 75% of the time is to say "I want to meet you", after light conversation and a compliment. Being direct is the Chad approach.

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What say?

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Because you can open your legs and get cock till the cows come home you dumb roastie slut

I want to believe this image but I just can't.
Not the chatter, it's whatever, just the fact that it's with Yanet (The Weather-Ass) Garcia.

I just wanna know what that mouth do

So you copy pasted an austistic MGTOW meme as your bio and now you're asking Jow Forums for help when you get called out on it? You're on your own you fucking retard

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187

>a-are you an archaeologist

I’m running an experiment user. I don’t actually meet slags off tinder

Give me your number and we'll talk about it over a coffee

>37
>"On a scale from 0 to America, how free are you tonight?"

As if any of you fags will be out on a Saturday night

I know because I was a woman once. I took a selfie and gobbled the first cock that was offered to me.

Main pic has shit lighting and doesn't make you look good replace with a better one. Just remove the one with dumbbells it looks retarded. Others are allright I guess

Tfw only 36 matches and met 4 of them, had sex once and she needs my cock now.
But i dont want her desu.

I've never seen a profile scream more "im a desperate human being" than yours

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You better not be getting matches because if you are I’ll be angry

God this is pathetic.

I dont necessarily mean you, just tinder in general. ~You're better than making yourself into some sort of human advert. Go talk to women.

Kek I'm gonna use this.
Can't say I'm not being honest.

thanks for the feedback

Previous matches have described me as:
"Great guy" - Elizabeth, 23
"A real gentleman" - Zoey, 22
"Dude's got a massive cock" - Robert, 46
"Contact 911 at once. Do not approach" - Various police officers.

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wtf, Mine is on the theme of having reviews as well. something around that
"You are not that ugly"
"You are a good friend"
"It doesn't bother me that you are 5.8 and bald"
still cringe?

this is the cringiest generic fucking shit you have as a bio.
keep it though, don't want your genes spreading

very reddity

>le self-deprecating millennial
why?

I live in the . My name is user. I'm years old. I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of an user, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

What is maximum character size or I would totally do this

I have used this in the past to great success

4 real? i think imgonna do it

not 4 real u fuckin dolt

How when it doesn't even fit

here's a bio I used when i was trying to get laid. be specific on what you want

I'm a chill guy who is studying/working @*insert major or job* who also enjoys drawing and building things (have a picture of you working on something)
Looking to meet a girl who likes:
- exotic cuisines
- Unconventional movies and music
- Can explain to me why girls like Blue raspberry so much
-Spending your free time at poetry readings, thrift shops and flea markets

if you live in florida and steal this imma kill u bby :)

Unironically this is probably one of the best things you can put down as your profile description on POF if not tinder.

thats awful jesus christ, enjoy meeting girls trying to use you for meals and looking for relationships.

i will treat you like a disney princess on the streets and a porn star between the sheet ;)

sheets*

The trick is to put in literally no effort

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You like Huey Lewis and the News?

its gotten me laid 6 times on tinder. but do tell me what would be better,

Chads don't need bios

become a chad before stooping so low to write a bio

here you go

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yeah user hes above the "sluts" he doesn't masturbate every night to the thought of actually fucking one for the first time

>You know what I do when I find a girl as sexy as you?
>Aliona
Thank me later.

explain the aliona part?

>Aliona
>A lie on a
>I lie on her
Works better in an English accent. And it's the girl's name.

This.

damn

There's nothing better than a joke you have to explain

Only the most retarded of people would need it explained. I'm sure the girl knows how her own name is pronounced and isn't so mentally disabled as Jow Forums as to not be able to understand simple homophones.

>make a fake female tinder profile to see how other males in my area are
>its full of good faced chads
>lose all hope

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You are so clever

I know. Guarantee it would work.

You're white and she's a nigger.
You wonder why she's so hooked on your ass. She sees an upgrade.

All those matches wow
That's like 200 times the amount I have

She's still pretty hot

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Pretty black too you chimpfucker

This nigga looks Mexican himself why is he lying

Bro she's cute as fuck why don't you pipe that