Mirin Stories thread
>be me
>very fit
>11 pm
>decide to take a cruise in my Chevy Caprice
>cruise up street
>girls hanging out
>they wearing all them short skirts and high heels
>mmmm
>literally just have to stop and they all come rushing over and wanting some of this
>one asks if I want a good time
Any similar mirin stories?
>one asks if I want a good time
They were hookers, user.
Nah man, it happens every time I cruise in my Caprice.
Even the children from the playground wants some of this, they just don't know it yet.
mmmmm
THAT'S THE JOKE
>go party with some girls
>dont drink cuz cutting
>go outside with one girl
>she feels me up, bites my biceps
>go to hers
>fuck her for 3 hours
i think i made it, so why the fuck am i still so sad, jesus christ
That's a bitch ass move, going to hers
How do you even cut her up properly if you don't have your tools with you?
mmmmm
>Be me, 19 years old
>5'11 for over 6 months, think its all over
>Not even 2 hours of grow grow grows per day helps
>KHV, always shut down by girls
>Store personnel always ask me where my mom is
>Get forced to party by friend one night, probably out of pity
>Agree to go just because he's in my guild
>Try to beg my dad for some vodka, he just laughs and tells me its not gonna help but gives me some
>Walk 1,5 hours to party since friend forgot me
>Arrive but nobody notice, one girl just says "really" as I enter
>Sit there rest of the evening just warming a drink in my hand
>Chad walks by and drops 7 used condoms in it
>Stand in the corner bobbing my head to the music instead
>Suddenly feel like I'm standing in a tower, people below me look small
>5'8 friendly guy I talked with earlier walks past me hissing at me and mumbles something about lank
>All the girls look at me as if I just came into the room
>Nearest girl starts talking to me
>Sounds almost like flirting
>I respond automatically with witty comments, woo-ing her somehow
>Watch as my new self effortlessly talks her into a quivering mess and kiss her
>Bang her upstairs
>Get high fives from every dude in the house as I come down
>Chad gives me a football
>Another girl starts hitting me up that same night
>Leave with several new phone numbers and a huge grin on my face
>Cab comes around and drives me home for free
>Next morning, still smiling from the night before
>82 new friend requests on FB, people I never met
>Message from Brad telling me to stay away from Chad
>Dozens of commercial mails about condoms in the inbox
>Go to eat breakfeast
>Bang my head in the doorway, need to crouch to get through it
>Mom says I look great
>Dad tells me I'm the man of the house now
>Cousin feels my abs and says solid
Turns out I turned 6'0 right at the party and finally made it, t-thanks fit
nice read.
is this a new copy pasta?
There's this 7/10 brunette girl on the bus that keeps mirin me and idk what to do about it
>start getting different bus to college like a week ago
as im leaving the bus the first time i notice some girl staring at me and biting her lip
>make eye contact and she literally instantly snaps her head away
>next day she is doing the same
>gets to the point where all she does on the bus is text and stare at me biting her lip and playing with her hair and shit
>multiple times i notice that she is taking pics of me
BUT
>never makes any attempt to sit near me or conversate what so ever
What do Jow Forums?
Worth the read
Some gym thot who goes to my college told me I should dye my eye brows and get a tan.
Fuck her mom, obviously.
maybe... uh... I dunno...
be a fucking man and talk to her...?
Confront her and tell her to stop staring at you and that she's making you feel uncomfortable. Duh
this. threat to call the police or campus security
>be me
>musician at church
>notice a 6’2 or ‘3 girl I’ve never seen before (dunno exactly but she’s a definitely taller than me)
>see she’s smiling and having an engaged convo with these two girls I know
>go over to introduce myself and ask her what she thought of the service
>she goes from social butterfly to a spaghetti spilling autist mode
>ask her for her name, she just smiles really wide and says “A-Anonette”
>small talk for a bit and then she says she has to be somewhere
>sticks her hand out so I can shake, changes her mind just as I’m about shake it and comes in for a hug instead
>squeezes the shit out of me and power walks out of there without saying bye to the two other girls she was talking to
>mfw
Wtf happened, for a moment there I thought I was doing something wrong
>move to new city for a university semester
>wandering down the street
>girls stare at me as i walk by
>like full on stare
>lock eyes at about 5 metres distance, head turns 90° as we pass each other
>discover guys do this as well
>and old people
>even people in their cars stare at me while I'm walking
>wtf is going on
>tell my friend this
>he tells me that's normal, everyone is socially retarded
>mfw studying abroad in germany
>mfw not even a shitskin
the fuck is wrong with this country
>girl obviously likes me
>im not sure what to do
Jesus christ how do you guys manage this level of retardation?
empty sex is empty. It's only enticing as long as you don't have it.
Remember the submissive ape always breaks eye contact first. Ive literally turned around and walked backwards into traffic because my alpha brain refuses to look away.
Underated.
>be me
>in a store
>buying some protein n shit
>like 20% body fat, cause bulking
>a cute girl is in front of me in line
>think nothing of it
>she pays for her stuff
>looks back at me right into my eyes
>gives me this huge smile and then walks off
Made my day
awwww, I wanted to post that.
Soooo. Drink 7 portions of chad cum for height gainz?
Doable. But no homo.
Lol my roommate is like this, fit good looking guy who gets mires but is too beta to ever approach. If I make eye contact with a chick who's scoping me I always approach. It's literally an invitation girls don't make the first move alpha makes do dumbass enjoy you nolaidz
Girls can have autism too. Kinda adorable if you don't weigh up the other barrage of mental problems they usually have.
Oh wait. That's just all women. Muh bad.
I live in Germany and trust me, I wouldn't look away. That's what 4 weeks of nofap and the blackpill on eye contact does.
>have empty meaningless one-night-stand with thot
>"why am I so sad and empty?"
kek. clean your room, user.
Play cool and act like you’re not interested. She’ll come around
>5'8 friendly guy I talked with earlier walks past me hissing at me and mumbles something about lank
best fucking laff I've had on Jow Forums in a while.
good job, user.
how do you fuck for 3 hours? do you cum and go again or are you literally fucking for 3 hours? i keep seeing shit about how most people last 5-10 minutes.
That was probably the effect of the content of those condoms in your drink.
>musician at church
You'd better either sing in the choir or play the organ, otherwise that is a not a church you attend, user.
>Not learning how to control your orgasms
>Not doing cardio
Your gains may get you a gf but your shit bedroom skills will have her looking for side dick
cute, user.
>tfw no giantess qt grills autistically becoming socially awkward with emotion at the sight of me
>why live?
>Be 30, 6'1, 220 solid, tatted
>her 19, 5'3, 110 half asian, but looked more white than anything
>She has a boyfriend of 3 years
>I saw her at work once and she saw me
>next day I saw her again (our schedules are publicly posted) and she was covered in make up and trying to act like she didn't see me
>she rigged it so she worked graveyards with me
>She wrote a note saying she's sorry for staring, but she finds me incredibly attractive (I still have the notes she wrote)
>She ends up telling her boyfriend that she said that, so now he always shows up to work. I'm literally sitting where I sit and I don't go anywhere, she comes to me
>Her car battery dies
>asks me to speak french to her while we sat in the car (snowing and freezing outsides) and she is obviously smitten
>does the whole, walk by me at walmart but pretend that we don't know each other because she still has that boyfriend.
Long story short
>she makes out with me at work
>comes to my house
>I Fuck her on my cot (I literally slept on a cot because I wasn't going to be in town forever)
>she told her boyfriend she fucked me
>he said he wants to still be with her but to stop hanging out with me
>she decides to cover the other grave yard shift and I work 2 weeks with her
>she is all over me every night, when her boyfriend comes over she acts like nothing is going on and entertains his conversations
>blows me at work, fucked her near a snow plow in the garage, fuck every single moment we can and the entire time she is telling me to cum in her.
Anyways, that relationship is over. They broke up, she got with me, but the age difference was brutal on conversations and her bipolar insecurities that would fly everywhere. That and she cheated on her man hardcore so what's to stop her from doing it.
I've had that experience a lot. I have tons of stories. The sex was nice and I miss that, but not the drama.
do you mind sharing the black pill?
Im hoping she won't run off next time so I can ask her for her number
Advice for autists starting to get mired: if you catch her mirin and make eye contact that is your invitation to go approach. It doesn't matter what you open with, you just have to say something. Initiating conversation is half the battle. You might spill your sphaggeti but over time you'll get better at it and more confident. You'll never pull if you never approach
Based
>he says hes fit
>therefore already more of a mire than usually gets posted, even though its a joke
the state of Jow Forums
Thanks for the read, user.
How do I report for pedophilia?
I jerked off three times before I met my fwb and couldn’t cum the 2nd time. Literally humping for an hour and a half.
>implying this is me
i can already control my orgasms but i get bored of fucking after like 40 minutes. it’s not like i get tired either, im just trying to understand how people can stay in the zone and fuck for hours at a time.
post pic of gril plox
Or be straighforward and tell her "Sup, bitch". Worked in high school.
Sit next to her and start a conversation
source on image?
Anyone ever had the pick of 2 girls and ended up choosing the uglier of the two because self esteem? The day after fucking the shorter/thicker one, the 5'11 Belgian blonde gives me her phone number. This would be great and all, but they're friends. fml
Mirin your creativity user
If you actually came up with that yourself
Based mmmm poster
Based "based x poster" poster
>My boss and I have dinner with his friend from another company
>The whole time I’m talking to the guy he is blushing
>we exchange business cards after dinner
>guy texts me later on and asks if I want to get a drink with him
>say no because I have to work out in the morning
>he texts me “Alright, do a few reps for me ;)”
>don’t respond
The next day my boss asked me if I thought that guy was gay and I just laughed. Didn’t tell him what happened though.
>be at work
>new lady getting trained
>she asks me if I workout
>tell her I play a lot of wii tennis
>confidence typically in the toilet
>not where I want to be goals wise
>have nice fitted shirts that show that I have nice shoulders for my frame and sleeves arent too big
>only clothes that give me confidence
>take a girl on a date
>bring her back to my place somehow
>all cuddled up really hard, head on my pecs saying I smell nice
>one arm around my chest feeling up my lats
>other arm all on my upper arm
>'Do you lift really often because these are really impressive'
D-did I start making it bros? It was probably just her being nice but it's the first time I've been complimented on my body by a girl. She also said I look like the main actor from that Arrow show. Just 2 months ago I was a 22yo KHV it all happened so fast. I didn't know handholding was so feelsgood
And that day user missed the opportunity to have a perfectly normal conversation with a female yet again.
>lobster posting
Happened to me once. Had a really good time as well, just didn't come ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>he plays WITH an organ
I didn't get your joke so I made my own.
Thanks, good to know my pasta cooking is appreciated
I like yours better 2bh
>masturbate and take your time, going through levels of arousal and not racing to orgasm
>do cardio and drink more water, regularly
>don't masturbate or have sex when you need to pee
>do pc muscle exercises, basically 'flex' or 'clench' your genitals when you feel aroused in multiple set intervals
>do more foreplay and intimacy so you and your partner are more prepared for sex
Do these things consistently and you will improve. Although no worries nofap mustards, masturbating is the least crucial unless you are severely sensitive even immediately after an orgasm
i feel like my arms, chest and back are starting to look pretty good in a tshirt (ss refugee lol) but im still not getting any mires
No woman wants to fuck for 3 hours.
If you weren't a virgin you would already know that
Scorpion on frog's back.
I've been there, user. Fucked a big boss' wife.
She wanted the divorce and to be with me forever. And I was like:
"No way. I don't marry cheaters".
is that you OP?
>tell her I play a lot of wii tennis
classic
holy shit
you're autistic
you haven't made it yet, but you're getting there
I am the only Jow Forums male at a workplace that is about 75% female. Thus, mires are never ending. Here's a couple I wasn't present for but a friend relayed to me:
>he is walking next to a girl and she bumps into him with her hip playfully, but then she realises it's him
>'omg I'm so sorry haha, out of the corner of my eye I thought you were user'
>he says it's no problem
>'You're kinda the same height and have the same hair. But obviously he's way more attractive.'
>on a work night out that I didn't attend the girls are discussing who is the hottest dude
>unanimous agreement that it's me
>'ugh but he's so arrogant. let's never tell him, his ego doesn't need that boost.'
>mfw my ego got the boost anyway hahaha stupid bitches
>girls are discussing a costume theme for halloween
>they toy with the idea of a 50 shades of grey BDSM theme
>but who could be the sexy billionaire?
>one of them blushes and says 'I always thought user would be a pretty good Christian Grey?'
>tfw she basically admitted she has imagined me tying her up and fucking her
>one of the other girls (a legit 9.5/10) tells me this story and rolls her eyes
>'don't let it go to your head, you're not THAT good looking'
>'so you do think I'm good looking?'
>she scowls
>'it doesn't make me want to vomit to look at you, let's just put it that way.'
Kek them was prostitutes
Damn bro what kind of shitty landwhales you fuckin?
These girls all sound like massive cunts, especially those that told your friend that you are 'obviously way more attractive'. I couldn't stand working with such losers all day desu
Switch it up dude
You're from Toronto and you live on church street?
>fuck her for 3 hours
damn, sorry user that it felt like forever, she must've been very ugly.
>also
sex with a girl without getting into relationship. KYS
you just probably shat in your pants and didn't know it.
>encouraging cheating behavior and then dumping her for being a cheater
wow user, you have amazing reasoning skills. I hope a turbo chad comes along and fucks with your heart the same way you did to a guy or a nig shoots you in the street.
due to summer, I'm always wearing sunglasses but next time it happens, I'll stop and stare you fuckers down.
>women
>not bitches, especially as a group
Pick one.
It was harsh I agree but maybe he should stop jacking off in his bedroom and hit the gym.
Have you ever been in a relationship and tried fucking for 3 hours every day?
You haven't, so let me tell you : no one is enjoying it.
If you look away you're a beta bitch because you can't handle awkwardness and confrontation. In the animal kingdom the alpha always stares down the pack and the submissive usually look away while cowering. Some other animals will also show their neck, belly, etc and lay flat on the floor to show they are not a threat
Unless he is fat then he would already he attractive to them without working out. His face, you know.
I guess he is not an actual friend of yours because I wouldn't talk to a bitch who is that much of a cunt to my mate. You probably have more of a millennial interpretation of what a friend is
Lol sorry you fuck with low-cardio prudes i go for nympho cardio bunnies who are enthusiastically into it and don't just try to keep up. The crazies are good too i dated this lithe hairdresser a few years back when we moved in together we'd go at least an hour every night before bed and each morning after waking up. When your test levels aren't in the shitter and yiu know how to mix it up it's quite fun desu
This
>mom said I look better
>I said thanks
so this is the power of 1.2/2/3.3/4
>T. Boomer who fucks his wife once a month and gets head only on his birthday.
Yeah, you've got this sex stuff figured out bud.
>1 hour
>3 hour
Quite a stretch. I also never talked about distributed across the day - the post I replied to clearly talked about a single, 3 hour session.
So this is the power of ultra instinct?
Btw what's 1.2/2/3.3/4?
>I have never been I a relationship but I don't believe that things are the way you claim they are so I just do some projection
Yeah a single 3 hr sess a day isn't sustainable that's more like a once a week thing
He's not ugly but he's skinny as fuck and girls don't date him because he's 'too nice' (a.k.a a pussy).
He's a work friend. I tried my best to a) hook him and up and b) give him advice that would make him more attractive to girls. He stubbornly refuses help. So fuck him. I reserve the right to fuck bitches who are mean to him.
>23yo 6'3" 180lbs
>new girl started at my job
>short, fit, blonde, blue eyes
>says something about being cheerleader
>Damn she's in high school
>I stop paying attention to her
>now it's like she's constantly trying to do my job for me
>bites her lip everytime we make eye contact
>always trying to find a reason to come talk to me
>it's always the yung hoes mirin
Based. Soibois can't be saved no use limiting yourself on their account
>t. Virgin LARP
No woman wants to fuck for 3 hours, they want to get off, maybe a few times depending on the girl, then be done for at least a while. It shouldn't take 3 hours unless you're both absolutely shit.
>too nice
That's the typical excuse of roasties instagram whores with literally zero personality.
I don't know your mate and I don't know you, but I have a feeling that he probably just has an actual character and can't be arsed to change it so he can fuck some missraised bitches that will never form a meaningful relationship with anyone or anything.
I got called a faggot today for driving my convertible around, and people were generally disconcerting towards me and indifferent in general.
I'm just waiting to beat the shit out of someone at this point.
>all girls have the same libido and sexual tastes
He's not the only virgin I'm detecting
You had sex with a drunk girl while sober?
That's rape, user.
Most girls can’t take my dick for more than 15-20 minutes without tapping out. Some can take a good hard nonstop pounding though.
7 inches and 5.5 girth
Mine wasn't a joke, but I like yours!
This. I've been with girls who've said they were done after 15 min and ones that wanted to go all night everyone's different guys let's all get along
It's not about cardio or stamina, vaginas chafe after about 45 minutes. That's why chicks don't like to go too long.