New fph fps thread

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>go to restaurant
>seated
>waitress asks drink orders
>everyone but fatty order water
>fatty order sweat tea
>"I don't like the taste of water"
>mfw

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>and then everybody slow clapped
Jesus , how are fatties so delusional to think someone might actually find this true?

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Why the fuck do you have this saved ?

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How else are you supposed to masturbate?

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Typical post coming through

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baffled black coach stare.gif

what the absolute fuck

This is the funniest fucking thing

>be me
>work at whole foods
>work with fat cunt in prep foods dept.
>fat cunt doesn't do anything till managers are around
>fat cunt always on her phone.
>tell managers
>manager loads up excuses.exe
>i know its only cause they know shes so large she can't/won't do the same work
>enraged by double standards ive only read about on the internet.
>its real after all. Holy shit.

You know people would probably pay good money to see a hot blonde down whole pizza slices while making orgasm noises for 15 minutes.

>fat cunt is assigned to mid shift
>fat cunt can't/won't shut up about her personal life to everyone in our side of the department
>tells another mutual friend everything.
>I hear about all her issues because its hilarious and we talk shit about fatty
Like her sad life
>fatty has a couple kids.
>fatty doesnt have custody of kids
>fatty doesnt have kids because her current druggie boyfriend (were sure hes the cause amongst others)
>fatty lives with bf and drugged out shitty people
>fatty refuses to better herself or her situation to get her kids back
>fattys boyfriend is trying hard to cheat on her
>fatty finds out
>fatty stays with boyfriend
>fatty comments to our mutual friend that she may be pregnant and hopes she is
>mfw i find out

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Based

>fat dumb cunt gets an infection
>fat dumb cunt tells our mutual friend all about it
>our mutual friend one day tells me calmly "come take a walk with me and ill tell you all about fatties vagina"
>laughterandfear.jpg
Oh gods no. Please no.
>so fatty says she got an ingrown hair on her vag
>her boyfriend had to take a look at it
>her boyfriend has to look at it cause fatty cant see her vag because fupa
>scared fatty tries to put monistat on it to make it better
>fatty has to go to the Dr. To get antibiotics its that bad
>clearly monistat hasn't worked but hopefully antibiotics will
I'm on the floor of our store in the back crying tears of laughter and pure joy at her stupidity. At this point in the story-
>fatty is still aparently recovering
>antibiotics make her lightheaded and dizzy
>directions say eat before you take antibiotics
>bag of chips apparently doesnt do the trick
>fatty calls bf complaining and she gets him to buy her KFC.
>after kfc fatty is all better.
Mind you. Fatty works around healthy food all day. Fatty doeant eat healthy food at all. Ever.

objectively delicious minus the stevia

>working late shift
>buzzer for drive through rings
>pour prescription into bottle and package it up
>drive through phone literally rang only once
>pick it up without looking
>'Good evening, how can I help you?'
>"wha-*gasping*-what too-took you so long *heavy breathing*"
>Its night time, and the pharmacy, I'm used to this shit
>'Picking up or dropping off?'
>"Picking up. Didnt you hear me? What took you so god damn long?"
>'And the name on the prescription you're picking up?'
>"Didn't you fucking hear me?"
>*click*
>start counting the next script
>phone rings
>'Good evening, how can I help you this evening?'
>"DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME FUCKER?"
>*click*
>phone rings
>'Good eve-'
>"You stupid-"
>*click*
>this repeats 5 more times
>we're getting ready to set a new record
>one final ring
>'Good evening, how can I help you?'
>real stern voice "pickup. For Smith"
>confirm first name
>metformin 2500mg/day, and lantus 100 units per day
>jesusfuckingchrist.jpg
>grab it from the fridge
>grab the bag from the bin
>huge fucking landwhale in a rusty station wagon with the backseat literally overflowing with Arbys bags and cups
>pick up the phone.
>before I could even say anything "Its about fucking time"
>*click*
>walk back to the counting station
>phone rings
>pick up the phone "can I have my prescription?"
>go over and hand it out, of course it's medicare.
>'Have a nice day'
>"Can I buy something over the counter?"
>bertstare.jpg
>"I need some mountain dew."
>you've got to be shitting me '...like just a bottle?'
>"a twelve pack"
>'a twelve pack won't fit through the drawer'
>"it will if you pull the cans out from the box"
>'After you just swore at me you want me to go up front and get a case of mountain dew for you?'
>"eight"
>'eight what?'
>"eight cases"
>*click*

She sat in the drive through honking and yelling for two hours repeatedly hitting the call button.

Eventually a cop showed up because a neighbor must have called. "He won't sell me my mountain dew!!!"

As much as I would like to think this is made up, it sounds entirely reasonable considering fat people's attitudes.

>Was gasping for air on first call
>Was inside a car
>Being so fat that sitting is strenuous

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And that's when user turned gay

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She apparently is a regular in the evenings before I start my shift. She called and complained to corporate that I was "abusive" and called the cops on her. The pharmacy manager vouched for me that I am overly nice and that she is actually quite abrasive.

He told me every other day or so she comes through the drive through to get 8 cases of mountain dew and her scripts if she has any, and the counter person will sit there and pass out 6 cans at a time through the drive through drawer while she stuffs them into reusable grocery bags.

>"yeah. No. Not going to happen."

Apparently the morning tech's son got a job at that arbys and she orders 4 large roast beef sandwhiches, 3 large fries, and two large cokes. Shes always the first person through the drive through at 11 when they open. She'll just sit there at the window until they open and then she eats there again for "dinner"

Well, reaching for the call button can be difficult lol

What on earth does she do that she can afford that?
Is disability really that lucrative?

My guess is she's either:
>conned her kids into giving her money
>stars in some sort of food or fatty porn

an user wrote this right? It has to be satire

That's gunna be one fugly baby

>At yo nigger what you want
>Condiments, nigga

Angry at how little this makes sense

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Who the fuck drinks water at a restaurant? For what purpose?
T. Asian user

Sometimes when people are eating they get thirsty

if they lost weight they'd look normal enough, baby will be fine until it inherits their awful eating habits.

There’s no vending machine in Planet Fitness lol

most people do

And just why do you know so much about the inside of Planet Fitness?

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>Working inna gas station
>The balrog of Marlboros and camels
>Dropping money into the safe
>Faded Mexican coworker making me lose me shit over how retarded he is
>"No, I'm serious, all you gotta do is speak a t-pain song to pick up chicks"
>He starts speaking the lyrics to 69 and I just start laughing
>Fat bitch in a huff comes to the counter yelling about how dare I yell at her falling in the parking lot
>Bitch, my head was under this counter
>"This isn't right I wanna see the manager so he can for your ass"
>Well he's outside taking a smoke, go bother him
>The lit migrant worker emerged from the back to investigate the ruckus
>We both witness fat bitch storm out the front door as the manager is beginning to walk from his car
>She slips again and manager starts cracking up
>DiabeticRage.ogg
>"ICANTBELIEVETHISYOUFUCKINGANIMALSDIRTYSPICSILLCALLICE-"
>Meanwhile, me and Cheech Marin are laughing cause this fat bitch split her pants
>She looks back at us and attempts to storm off again
>Slips a third time on the way to her shitbox
>Manager comes in and we all share a good laugh when he says someone needs to salt the parking lot

Sometimes food workers get discounts on food,depending on how the franchise owner feels

Lol why is there a vending machine? Why is he behind it? Why is there a handicapped changing room? What reps?

I mean, as their only drink. You go to restaurant and get a drink with alcohol or at least tea. Just water is weird.
Is this an American thing to just get water?

Sidenote, all Americans who come here get coffee with meals. That's always striked me as odd. I'm just wondering why if anyone knows.

Restaurants here charge you for every drink except water.

I didn't know Jews were so prevalent in both restaurant ownership and patronage

>Is this an American thing to just get water
Not at all, I mostly drink water with my food.

I do take an alcoholic appetizer though.

That's what I mean,I can understand drinking water in addition to something, but just water with a meal sounds like you are on a diet.
Culture might play a part at this point.

why the fuck would you ever do this

in europe people mostly drink sparkling water or water with lemon (no sugar added). No idea where you are coming from, has to be britain though, you guys aren't any better than americans when it comes to food.

Wait, is this true? Surely that is a hamplanet cope; thigh gaps are determined by the distance between femurs and thigh fat... right?

>but just water with a meal sounds like you are on a diet
- I like the taste of water.
- it complements any food.
- I don't like to get drunk while dining
- It's healthy
- It's calorie free
- It's cheaper

it's not true. Why would you ever fucking believe what some "fat activist" creats or posts.

this.

Drinking water with food is the best (besides stuff like specific wines which go with specific types of food, but that's a whole other thing).

Sugary drinks just ruin the taste while eating a good meal. Some sips of water are perfectly fine while eating.

>the distance between femurs
...Which is determined by your hips. The vagina part is bullshit since any woman can do kegels and get a tite vag but the rest is true.

Said I was Asian, user. We drink alcohol or tea with meals.

Do you remember to say no homo first?

I'm not saying don't like it, but 3 to 4 of those are subjective. Especially if you live where the water is unclean.
Look, it's not a personal attack on you, but it's very odd to drink just water to me. The calories in unsweetened tea are easy to ignore, and it would be leaps and bounds better tasting

We actually go out and molest a school girl on the train before we eat so we can be extra sure we aren't homos

>tfw no low t asian boi with a feminine penis to suck the nut from your balls after saying no homo

in every restaurant I've ever been to they just bring chilled water to the table, and most people get alcohol/soda in addition to the water

>WHOA WAIT THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T DO EXACTLY AS I DO?!
>THOSE AMERICANS MIRITE?
Nigger are you retarded.

Yes, I'm fact I have pointed that out too. I think it's odd to drink just water.
Well, I can see you think it was a personal attack, despite the fact that I said otherwise. Please read the rest of my comments and do the honorable thing and fuck yourself with a cactus

No offense taken, most of them are indeed personal tastes.

pic not related

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>those band aid outlines
>changes bandage but never washes the wound
>the smell of rotten flesh wound and sweaty swamp ass in their living room

I live in the American Midwest and I know too many piece of shit worthless couples like this.

its not culture my nibba they give us water by default and then order a different drink

I meant my culture, for why I don't understand it.

What poor mother fucker got stuck with this hog.

No clue

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I live in france but i have been in new york for a week as a teenager. Without a doubt, the ten fattest people i've ever seen in my entire life i saw them during this week in new york.

People are still way fatter in france now than what they used to be though...

>those weird tits
I do not care for that. Not one bit

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requesting the one where the groom's friends are obviously ashamed in him

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Never mind, seems that I had it

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I had a similar experience as a kid. My extended family is extremely sports focused and living in southern Austria in a mountain valley we were hiking, climbing, biking, skiing and shit literally all the time. When I was 12 I got the opportunity to attend a month-long 'english-learning vacation' in Eastborne in England.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Everyone on a mobilty scooter, fat, pale-white blobs of lard laying about on the rock beach and every single brit my age I met was at least two to three times my weight.

>every single brit my age I met was at least two to three times my weight.
skinny sissy manlet

Not him, but all tourist brits I've ever had the displeasure of meeting were complete hamplanets.

oh gawd i think this is real , nice one user.

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>skinny
True. At that time all I did was basically cardio and some rock climbing. Even managed to lose 3kg during my stay because I was constantly walking about, going running and shit, because I was afraid I'd become a lardass due to the food my host family was serving.
Man, those mini pizzas with spaghetti and chips sure tasted great but all those fatties actually scared me back then.

>mini pizzas with spaghetti and chips
wot

I think that's what they call french fries in Bongland

makes more sense
still not something I'd serve a kid staying over for a month. or at all, for that matter

I believe with all my heart that fats should not work around food ever. Try getting around a slow as fuck lard ass in a kitchen.

>ni99er

>unassisted just using the features on the bed

Aids digestion, gets rid of thirst, stops you GETTING FUCKING FAT!

I Worked at Disneyworld for a year:
The minimum wage there is now much more than I earned and i had no trouble paying rent and eating, and having some left over working 35 hours a week.

Further more, at Disneyworld it is extremely easy to get more hours. There were old dudes there who would work 60/80/even a 100 hour work weeks simply because they wanted to.

Moral of the story: ignore stories about Disney staff suffering, they arent

I got to restaurants to eat, not because they make a mean Pepsi

agreed, its fucking sad how pretty much everyone can grow up to look amazing but so many parents just pass on their shitty habits like that and raise them to be lards

fuck everyone.
nyc delivery guy.
delivering food i could never afford to eat to places i could never afford to live. its fucking dangerous out there. and nobody ever tips.

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>"Bro, why would you do this..."

I've only seen profile, but damn, he could do so much better

*proceeds to wear pussy out with sex toys and promiscuous sex anyways since lieberal*

How "enriched" is your delivery area?

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What is this autism