Don't stare intensely. The general rule of thumb is to look in the "triangle" pattern. Left eye for a couple seconds, right eye for a couple seconds, mouth for a couple seconds, look off past them a bit too.
I want to work on how I look at people...
Joseph Collins
Joshua Phillips
Very interesting. But it does not say the adverse effect of staring into someones soul making them gasp for air in the realization of the fact someone is piercing through their soul with a unrelentless stare.
Jason Evans
Look at them when they are talking, but when you are talking look away and back at them, thats the normal thing
Josiah Taylor
But I am not worried about looking away. I want to look right at them perpetually
Brandon Lopez
It sounds to me like you're in your own head to the point that what comes naturally to you doesn't feel natural. You're just overthinking it, with what comes natural likely coming across just fine to others.
That's not to say that you necessarily have great body language, but much of it is innate. Depending on what area in particular you feel that you're lacking (facial expression, tone of voice, hand gestures, the general way you carry yourself, etc.) it's something that you can watch others and emulate them, forming habits. Over time, those habits will start coming naturally.
It's obviously hard to diagnose over the text what your shortcomings are, and you'd likely even get more valuable feedback from others rather than yourself on the matter, but what comes naturally to you is likely fine, you're probably just second guessing yourself. A speech class, if you've never taken one, would likely greatly benefit you.
Just to throw out another statistical tool banded about in classrooms, remember that 7% of communication is what you say, 38% is your voice and tone in general, and 55% is your body language. Whether somebody realizes it or not, they're likely more adept in body language than they think they are.
Xavier Walker
This thread reads like actual autism. Not the meme kind, I mean literal autism.
If you don't have an intuition for how long to make eye contact and need a written guide for it or want to gain respect by staring at people because that's how it works with some animals you should consider getting yourself checked out.
Wyatt Perry
>staring into someones soul making them gasp for air in the realization of the fact someone is piercing through their soul with a unrelentless stare.
This cringe post actually got trips. I checked them, user, but next time please use single digits for your anime fantasies.
Andrew Gomez
I see where you're coming from, but I don't necessarily agree. While people on the autism spectrum certainly have trouble with eye contact as a general rule, it's certainly not something that is limited to them. That's especially true for people who are reserved or don't get out much, or maybe lack confidence. A lot of the time, they'll even be in their own head thinking that their eye contact is horrible, when it's actually fine.
A lot of communication is something that comes innately, but there are also many components which can be worked on and actively improved.
In general, the average person's communication skills are pretty poor. It's why a speech class or interpersonal communications class is often required for an undergraduate degree in just about any given field.
Jack Hall
This doesn't get you peoples' respect. It makes you seem weird and creepy. Like crazy homeless people.
Jeremiah Brown
>It's why a speech class or interpersonal communications class is often required for an undergraduate degree in just about any given field.
No, it is required because it makes the university money by adding to the list of requirements and artificially prolonging the time spent at university.
Seriously, this isn't a requirement anywhere else in the western world. You can't tell me it's only US students that are socially clueless.
And please correct me if I am wrong.