I want to work on how I look at people...

I want to work on how I look at people. I want to look at people right in the eye and never look away until the conversation is over.

Is this a good thing? is it chad?

Or will i come off a serial killer.

Attached: 1529541605571.jpg (250x182, 5K)

Other urls found in this thread:

msue.anr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

You'll make most people super uncomfortable. The problem that people who lack an innate eye contact skill often fall into is either staring daggers at people or avoiding eye contact entirely. Neither is ideal.
If you come across as "intense" in any capacity while doing so, you will very much come off as confrontational. If you're in any capacity creepy, you'll come off with a serial killer vibe, yes. You can play it to your advantage depending on the situation and your goals, but it's not something that you can use to make people like you in any capacity.

Why not come off as a serial killer? I say looking intimidating is good cuz it means only the worthy and useful will approach because they aren't concerned with appearances.

No gf tho cuz if you're not chad by default, you'll never slay.

Well I don't mind being confrontational at all. But I want to be taken very seriously without being thought to be probably dangerous

I want to improve my body language in general but it always feels stilted. Trying to put on pleasant expressions they become wooden. Help

Good point. I don't care about GF But i wouldn't mind friends. Do serial killers have friends?

I might overanalyzing, but ive noticed that when you are speaking you maintain eye contact, but when they are speaking you glance around more

If I remember correctly, as it's taught in college, the number that's generally bandied about with regard to eye contact is the "50/70 rule" being ideal. That's eye contact 50% of the time while you're speaking, and 70% of the time while listening.
Fuck it, I started to write something to elaborate then decided to look it up. This explains it much better than I could from memory.
msue.anr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes

Hell yeah, my best friends are the people who are amused when I appear outwardly intimidating. We're bros cuz we hate everyone together.

Hmm. Don't fake yourself too much. It's exhausting. But the best way to put on a pleasant expression is to be in a pleasant mood. Maybe don't think negatively of your peers and seek to make the relationships meaningful to you and thusly will make you in a better mood. Otherwise I can't help.

Don't stare intensely. The general rule of thumb is to look in the "triangle" pattern. Left eye for a couple seconds, right eye for a couple seconds, mouth for a couple seconds, look off past them a bit too.

Very interesting. But it does not say the adverse effect of staring into someones soul making them gasp for air in the realization of the fact someone is piercing through their soul with a unrelentless stare.

Attached: maxresdefault.jpg (1024x768, 72K)

Look at them when they are talking, but when you are talking look away and back at them, thats the normal thing

But I am not worried about looking away. I want to look right at them perpetually

It sounds to me like you're in your own head to the point that what comes naturally to you doesn't feel natural. You're just overthinking it, with what comes natural likely coming across just fine to others.
That's not to say that you necessarily have great body language, but much of it is innate. Depending on what area in particular you feel that you're lacking (facial expression, tone of voice, hand gestures, the general way you carry yourself, etc.) it's something that you can watch others and emulate them, forming habits. Over time, those habits will start coming naturally.
It's obviously hard to diagnose over the text what your shortcomings are, and you'd likely even get more valuable feedback from others rather than yourself on the matter, but what comes naturally to you is likely fine, you're probably just second guessing yourself. A speech class, if you've never taken one, would likely greatly benefit you.
Just to throw out another statistical tool banded about in classrooms, remember that 7% of communication is what you say, 38% is your voice and tone in general, and 55% is your body language. Whether somebody realizes it or not, they're likely more adept in body language than they think they are.

This thread reads like actual autism. Not the meme kind, I mean literal autism.
If you don't have an intuition for how long to make eye contact and need a written guide for it or want to gain respect by staring at people because that's how it works with some animals you should consider getting yourself checked out.

>staring into someones soul making them gasp for air in the realization of the fact someone is piercing through their soul with a unrelentless stare.

This cringe post actually got trips. I checked them, user, but next time please use single digits for your anime fantasies.

I see where you're coming from, but I don't necessarily agree. While people on the autism spectrum certainly have trouble with eye contact as a general rule, it's certainly not something that is limited to them. That's especially true for people who are reserved or don't get out much, or maybe lack confidence. A lot of the time, they'll even be in their own head thinking that their eye contact is horrible, when it's actually fine.
A lot of communication is something that comes innately, but there are also many components which can be worked on and actively improved.
In general, the average person's communication skills are pretty poor. It's why a speech class or interpersonal communications class is often required for an undergraduate degree in just about any given field.

This doesn't get you peoples' respect. It makes you seem weird and creepy. Like crazy homeless people.

>It's why a speech class or interpersonal communications class is often required for an undergraduate degree in just about any given field.
No, it is required because it makes the university money by adding to the list of requirements and artificially prolonging the time spent at university.
Seriously, this isn't a requirement anywhere else in the western world. You can't tell me it's only US students that are socially clueless.
And please correct me if I am wrong.

Trips never lie singles fag.
I have perfect eye contact ratio. It has never been a problem. But my eye contact ratio is too perfect and is not reflective of my autism and I want to change it to match how serious I am about listening to people.

You're right user about being in my head, I gotta stop it. Although my natural body language is pretty plain, I'd like to have that Chad charisma and confidence. I'm not able to take a speech class anytime soon though

You're absolutely wrong, in my view, but nothing that I say is going to convince you otherwise. Your cynicism, arrogance, selective observations, and general shitty attitude ensure that. Never mind that universities in the United States absolutely dominate international lists of the top universities in the world, of course.

>make own lists based on own research
>dominate said lists
Wow who would have thought?

Also there's really no need to get insulting but then again this whole thread is about being socially inept so you are forgiven.

Once again...
>"Your cynicism, arrogance, selective observations, and general shitty attitude ensure that"
I'm shocked.

user I'm a neet with no ability to go to uni but if you've taken speech or other communication related adult level classes which actually helped you in some way, can you please elaborate? Good books for this, other media you analysed or learned from, class exercises, curriculum ideas? I want to get as much info as someone in my situation can cause I can't be there myself lel. I have an idea of something like Bernays but hard to make it applicable to real life as a single individual

I come from a little bit of a varied background, but I've done undergraduate and graduate work in communications courses. Of every course that I've ever taken in college in all the years I spent, however, a community college speech class taught by a former political advisor was by far the most valuable to me.
The most valuable aspect was getting feedback and comments on my strengths and shortcomings from the instructor, as well as from the class in general. Once you're genuinely conscious of what your strengths and shortcomings are, it makes working on them a lot easier. For example, poor eye contact? Shifting or slinking while speaking? Stammering or sounding unconfident? Filler words? Low volume?
It's obviously harder in your case, as an individual, but you should have a general idea of what you'd like to work on. Also try to think of any comments that you've gotten in the past on your communications skills. (I'm sorry, I can't quite hear you. Can you speak up?/Your voice sure is monotone!/You seem uncomfortable. Are you okay?/etc.)
Once you have an idea of what you struggle with, consciously work on it and emulate others who show off good skills in that area. Over time, it's habit forming, and it will come natural to you. It's often helpful to watch yourself in a mirror or record yourself as you work on things so that you see what others see, maybe picking up on shortcomings. You'll see your one-on-one, small group, and large group communication skills grow by leaps and bounds if you actively work on it. The best thing you can do is be mindful any time you're in a communication situation.
There are rules that are specific to communication in general that are helpful (like the aforementioned 50/70 eye contact rule and the 7/38/55 breakdown), but none of that is especially important, depending on what you want to work on in particular. Based on what you seek to work on, there are lots of great resources online to help you with that particular area.