how did you start out with social gains Jow Forums? did byproducts like confidence or dedication from lifting help you to transcend your cavernous autism?
How did you start out with social gains Jow Forums...
Levi Miller
Kevin Price
sports
Justin Reed
>stop caring
>stop thinking about yourself
>find hobbies
>read things
>meet people
>don't think about yourself
>talk about the things you like
>don't ask "Am I more _____ now?"
>because that would thinking about yourself
>stop ruminating
>get busy
>stop thinking about yourself
Tyler Cooper
how does one stop thinking about themself
Jack Gray
lifting and then therapy
joining a team sport and socializing with the teammates has a been great help as well
now I don't feel like offing myself anymore
Noah Williams
alcohol, xanax, coke, phenibut are all very good social hacks that make situations easy mode even if you are autistic
Oliver Parker
The more you realize people want to talk to you for your personality helps. Stop trying to be other people and stop caring.
Noah Sanders
It's classic target fixation.
The trick isn't to focus on not thinking about yourself, it's to have a 'go-to' thing to think about, and focus on thinking about that instead.
It could be anything, even he-man singing 'what's going on', the important thing is to be concentrating on thinking about it, rather than not thinking about whatever it is you don't want to think about.
Nathan Robinson
Either go into a job in sales for a year or get a social hobby like dance, martial arts, etc. Easy mode.
Wyatt Baker
Internet search "social skills books".
Read said books.
Voila!
As with all skills, you just need to develop them. Approaching social skills from a "I'm not good; I'll never be good" mindset is just dumb -- as a comparison, any true Jow Forumsizen doesn't have that mindset with regards to whatever fitness methods they prefer (lifting, bodyweights, running, etc.).
Kayden Young
>tfw all hobbies are solitary
>feel lonely
>yet hate other people
fuck
Gavin Adams
Intriguing. Please elaborate, i don't complete get it, but starting to get a grasp of it.
Like that one from Dale Carnegie? I couldn't get a lot from it apart from "research your target and try to honestly befriend him".
I keep hearing that, but I'm more a transactional type of person. I can talk for hours about my job, some hobbies but then i suck bad asking about other people's interests, like i feel like a police officer on interrogation mode and really fucking hate that.
Levi King
>Like that one from Dale Carnegie?
No.
That book is 80 years old; socializing has transformed dramatically since then. Any modern one will be infinitely better.
Bentley Smith
Which one for example? For moderate autists, pls.
Leo Jenkins
How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes.
Asher Turner
Like if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, you're immediately gonna think about a pink elephant.
Concentrating on not thinking about a specific thing is just gonna make you think about that thing more.
The trick is to focus on thinking about something else. If you've already got something to think about when you notice you're thinking about yourself it's much easier than going 'fuck, I'm thinking about myself, what else can I think about'.
Then it's just a matter of time till you break the habit of thinking about yourself
Thomas Smith
sports and not speaking to the same friend group all the time
Benjamin Morris
>I can talk for hours about my job, some hobbies but then i suck bad asking about other people's interests
Holy shit I am you.
I have this same problem, it's horrible, I don't know how to fix it, and I know it's only going to get worse.
Tyler Morris
I'd strongly recommend Models by Mark Manson.
It's a self improvement book cleverly disguised as a book on attracting women.
It's pretty interesting reading too.
Adam Kelly
>but then i suck bad asking about other people's interests, like i feel like a police officer on interrogation mode and really fucking hate that.
If you find yourself asking question after question, easy fix.
Ask a question. In response to their answer is a statement/comment on what they said. If that thread dies down then ask another question. Repeat until you stumble upon a subject that makes their eyes light up. That's the ideal focal point to break the ice and get a more engaging conversation.
If this doesn't happen, the maximum number of times I would repeat this cycle is 3 before I would assume that they're not interested in talking to me (happens sometimes, not something to take personally). I would then let the silence go for a couple seconds and either excuse myself to get a drink or let them do the same.
Oliver Smith
I really love this fucking idea but I'm going to be thinking about not thinking about your self even though that thought has you as a you more thinking about not thinking about yourself so in the end you move like all that stuff to another you which is you so that the you here will stop thinking about yourself and the other you will so it won't end really your just pushing the thoughts out as bad energy and the thoughts and you and you and not thinking is just a continuous cycle anyway but it's good to be able to convert thoughts into much more better energies so it's good being recycled and used over and over again and everyone will have a smile in the whole world and a smile always brings positivity
Jacob Cooper
Stopped napping during the day when I didn't need it and just did it out of habit.
Justin Moore
Ever think that maybe you’re a poor listener (srs) A lot of people face this problem, focusing on themselves and not others
Adrian Peterson
great advice. Thank you, user.
Hudson Cook
thats going to be really hard tho